by Elle Boon
Atlas had cut off his connection to the woman, severed the familial tie, so whatever Shauny and his brothers felt didn’t affect him, but their pain hit him like a fist to the heart.
He’d pulled to a rocking stop seconds before his three siblings leapt out their doors, shifting into their bears, running for the burning house. Atlas realizing what they’d planned, quickly followed, his white grizzly twice as big as any of their animals, and three times as powerful, landed with a thud in front of theirs, roaring a warning, his alpha power halting their movements.
“Stop. I sense no heartbeat inside there. She’s gone. I order you three to stand down, now,” he ordered through their link.
Atika shifted first, sweat, anger, and sadness poured off his naked form. “Motherfucker, don’t alpha order me from saving my mother,” he roared almost as loudly as Atlas, but he didn’t disobey.
Abyle staggered to his knees after shifting. “What the hell?” He shook his head.
Shauny was the last to shift, sobs making her words incoherent. “Why? Why did you stop us? I know you hate her, but she’s our mother. I’ll never forgive you, Atlas,” she cried.
Atlas roared, her words making his white bear angrier than he’d ever been. The mantle of alpha being forced on him, the power he’d been given, his first duty to save his brothers and sister, appearing like a...like a fucking betrayal. Fuck that.
Shifting faster than he’d ever done, he let them see what he looked like beneath the clothes, allowed them to see the scars he possessed. They thought he got off easy, since he was younger than them. They were fucking wrong. The day he’d killed their father was because the bastard had decided he’d kill Atlas after overhearing the Goddess speak to him. Only Atticus wasn’t content to do it the easy way. Oh no, he’d tried to eviscerate him first, offering up his entrails to the gods in exchange for power.
Shauny gasped. “What happened to you?” Her shaking hand reached for Atlas’s chest, the thick scar bisecting his abs hard to miss. He couldn’t count the number of white scars that striped across his chest, stomach, and lower. There literally wasn’t an inch of his front or back that hadn’t been laid open by a switch thanks to his father, many times while his mother watched, and even cheered. There had been something wrong with the both of them. They’d hated him yet loved all three of his siblings. He’d had to hide his injuries growing up, pretend all was fine, or else they’d do worse the next time. They’d even threatened to harm his siblings if he’d told anyone else, so he’d taken the beatings, the lashings without telling anyone.
“You want to know what happened to me? First of all, I saved all three of you just now. Open your senses. Do you hear her heart, or sense her? She’s not in there. Hell, she’s nowhere around here. Now, if you really want to know what happened to me, you better make for damn sure you really want the truth, because once you know, there’s no going back.” Atlas paced back and forth like a caged bear. His bear hadn’t been out long enough, the need to roam, to reclaim their land, ate at them both.
Abyle moved in closer yet stayed far enough away he wouldn’t be in danger of getting swiped with Atlas’s claws. “Tell us,” he said softly.
Atlas smiled, his alpha powers flowing through him. He knew his eyes were turning the light blue of his white bear, could see the fear in his siblings’ eyes. “No, I think I’ll show you instead.” He opened his mind, linking with the three of them, taking them back to the last day he’d been with their dad.
26 years ago...
Atlas shook as he followed his father through the woods. He was only seven, but he knew his father didn’t just take him on a hunting trip alone without a good reason, or more aptly, a terrible one. He rubbed his shoulder, feeling the healing scabs from the last lashing he’d gotten because he’d shifted faster than his father. Next time, he’d go slower.
The sound of water rushing had excitement stirring. Atlas loved to swim. When he was in the water, he could go all the way to the bottom and pretend for a little while he was a fish, and sometimes when he came back up, his father was nowhere to be seen.
“Did you hear me, boy, or you off in lalastupidland again? I told your mother you were touched in the head, but she didn’t listen. Fucking Goddess, why she gifted you I’ll never know, but I’m putting an end to it today, just like the gods did.”
Atlas tried to pay attention to what he was saying but didn’t know what he meant. How was he going to end things? He’d learned it was best to stay quiet.
“See, you’re not special. If you were actually Goddess touched, you’d know what was coming.” Atticus chuckled, tossed a leather bag down, and pulled out some rope followed by other supplies.
“Are we fishing?” he asked
Angry eyes glared at him. “Oh, I’ll be fishing with the best bait, after. Now get your ass over here and help me put these in the ground.”
Wanting to make his father happy, Atlas moved to do as he was told, picking up a metal looking poll with a spike in the end. Atticus began pounding one into the ground, telling Atlas where to put the one he held. Within minutes they had all four in the ground. “Now what?” he asked his father.
“Now you lay down in the middle of them.”
A sliver of fear worked its way through him. “Wh...why?” he stammered.
“Because I told you to.” Atticus backhanded Atlas, splitting his lip.
Within seconds, Atlas found himself tied to the stakes, his smaller bear no match to his father’s. Through the woods he saw two sets of eyes staring back at him. His mother’s brown accusing eyes were cold as always, and the head enforcer of the clan stood next to her. “Help me, mama. Please, don’t let him do this.”
Atticus stood above him with a wicked looking knife in his hand. “The way to end this supposed prophecy is to end you like the Gods did in times gone by.” He brought the knife down, slicing through Atlas’s stomach, searing pain making him scream.
A white light flashed, his bear roared, bursting out of him, and then darkness followed by the smell of blood, so much blood.
“Stop, Atlas, stop,” Shauny begged.
“Goddammit, stop, brother.” Atika fell to his knees, his nose bleeding.
Abyle held Shauny, tears rolling down their faces.
Atlas spun, shifting into his huge white bear, roaring up at the skies. “I’m sorry,” he said through their link. Then he severed their tie to him, not wanting them to feel his pain, hating himself for allowing them to see and feel the pain he’d felt that day all those years ago.
With his senses open, he heard the three of them say I’m sorry echo through the woods, but he couldn’t allow himself to accept their apologies. He was the one who was sorry. He was the one who’d forced them to see and feel something they never should’ve experienced. It was he who was sorry. Goddess touched, his ass. He was the worst alpha ever.
His bear raced through the woods, running as if the hounds of hell were on his heels until he found himself in the same clearing as the one where he’d claimed his father’s life, the same clearing he’d become not just a white bear, but a dire white bear. He wondered if his brothers and sister realized what they’d seen when he shifted, or if they put it down to his alpha bear. Either way, he wasn’t just some white fucking bear that was prophesized to be an alpha.
No, on the day his father tried to kill him, he’d woken a beast inside a seven year old boy. A beast that relished in killing his father and then the enforcer. Atlas remembered standing over his mother, blood dripping from his fangs and nearly every inch of his huge bear, low growls emanating from him. He’d spoken to Sonya, only it had been a different being and him merging, making a pact with her. She agreed to raise his brothers and sister with love, as for him, he’d not asked for anything because it was clear he could take care of himself. She’d agreed to do so from that day until he became alpha. As the memory flashed, he realized she’d done as she’d agreed. Now that he was alpha, her reason to stay was gone, but she clearly wanted to send him a message with the bur
ning of the house. Atlas shifted, sitting on a huge rock near the water’s edge. “Had she ever loved any of her children?”
“I don’t believe it’s in her capacity to love anyone, or anything, other than herself.”
Atlas spun, his claws out.
“Put those away,” the Goddess said with ease.
He knew she could will him dead with a thought. In a moment, he was clothed in a pair of slacks and a button down shirt, both favorites from his closet. “This is something all of you can do with a thought. Something you’ve always had the ability but hadn’t learned, a fault of mine.” She waved her hand toward the rock he had been sitting on. “Please sit.”
“Are you here to kill me?” He licked his lips, thinking of the last time he’d seen Joni, wishing he’d claimed her, then mentally smacked himself. At least this way, she wouldn’t suffer the loss of a truemate.
The Goddess sighed. “Silly bear, of course I’m not here to kill you. However, you’ve been a very naughty bear. I had to fix your brothers and sister a little. Their pain called to me. You can’t do what you did without repercussions. Showing them what that evil bastard did isn’t something anyone, let alone someone who loves you, should see without warning. That is something no child nor adult should ever face.”
Atlas jumped to his feet. “Their pain called to you? Their pain? How about my pain as a child? All the times they beat me? Was I not hurting enough for you? What? Did it take my father ripping my intestines out in order for you to notice me?” he roared, ripping his shirt open to show her the scars.
The Goddess floated forward, her hand touching his cheek. “After I came to you as a small child, I assumed you were protected and loved by your family. Never did I think one of my chosen, such as your father, could do what he—did. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. So sorry I didn’t stop them sooner. Sorry, for failing you.” A silver tear fell from her silver eyes.
Warmth flowed from her to him, healing the cracks around his heart, the scar on his chest, the one that always seemed to itch, all these years later from his father’s favorite hunting knife, warmed. Atlas looked down, seeing the ugly jagged scar turn pink, then right before his eyes, the wound began to fade, then it was gone. “If I could I’d erase all the times from your memory, but to do that would change who you are, who you’re meant to become. You see, I can take away your scars, but if I change one thing about the past, then your future, your now, changes. Would you want me to do that? Would you risk not knowing your Joni?” A silver glow emanated from her, encompassing him and her.
“No,” he whispered.
The Goddess nodded. “You are who you are because of your past, not because of your scars. See, they’re gone, but you’re still you. Do you feel different?” She touched his chest.
Atlas put his hand where hers had touched. “No, and yes. I don’t want you to change my past. Fuck, shit. I didn’t...damn, I’m messing this up.” He paced away, then came back. “I’m always running away. I’m done running. You gifted me with this.” He pounded his chest. “My bear’s not a beast; he’s one of the best parts of me. That bastard who tried to kill me didn’t give me a gift; you did.” He nodded but didn’t wait for her to speak. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, sorry I—cussed and...shit. I’m sorry for everything. Are my family okay?”
She lifted a hand. “They’re coming through the clearing now. You can ask them yourself. Remember, with power comes great responsibility, Atlas. I know you think what you had to do all those years ago was awful, but you did what you had to do to survive. If you had to do it again today, would you?”
He didn’t have to think just nodded. “If they’d succeeded in killing me, who’s to say it wouldn’t have been one of them next?”
Her palm pressed against his chest again. “And that’s why you’re a good alpha, my white bear. Your future isn’t going to be easy, but it’s going to be good if you follow your heart. Blessed be, Atlas.”
His palm covered his racing heart, his mouth moving, saying the same words back to her. In a burst of color, the Goddess was gone, leaving him alone with the twins and Shauny.
“Please tell me I wasn’t seeing things, and that was really a glowing female?” Atika asked.
“Oh my gawd, that was the Goddess, wasn’t it?” Shauny asked, wonder filling her voice.
Atlas turned to face them, his shirt open, showing a smooth chest. “That was the Goddess,” he agreed.
“I think she visited us after you did. The memory is fuzzy, but I have bits of pieces that I wish I didn’t.” Abyle put his hands in his pockets, his brown eyes looking anywhere but at Atlas.
“You can hate me if you want,” he growled. Hell, he hated himself, had since he’d woke covered in his father’s blood along with Dale’s, the enforcer of the pack’s.
“Hate you? You think we hate you? All we knew was that he’d had an accident while you and he were out hunting. Fucking hunting, something we’d never been allowed to do with our father. We were older, yet we’d never been asked to go, and we were so fucking jealous. We thought if we’d been there we could’ve saved him from dying. Now, we find out that he tried, nearly succeeded in ripping your guts out, only to die at the claws and fangs of your bear. Fuck, we owe you an apology, fealty, and our fucking lives.” Abyle pounded his right fist on his chest. “I will have your back always. I’ll place your life, the life of your cubs, above my own for the rest of my life,” he promised, dropping to one knee.
Atika followed suit with Shauny coming to stand in front of him. “You’re our brother; we love you. I’m sorry you suffered, but I’m glad the Goddess did whatever she did to our memories.” She rubbed her temple. “I still feel residues of your pain, I just don’t remember all of it, but I have a memory that will haunt me for always, only it was your memory. You have my fealty as well, for always.” She dropped to one knee.
“Get up, all of you. You will never put your lives above mine, do you hear me?”
His siblings got up, smiling. “You ain’t the boss of us, brother. Besides, I like you without the scar reminding us a whole lot better. Now, let’s head back to your alpha house. Looks like I’m gonna need to go shopping tomorrow, so you’re gonna need to access some funds.” Shauny rubbed her hands together, clearly happy to change the subject.
Atlas and his brothers groaned. He opened his senses, sighing when he didn’t feel any lingering anger between them. He sent a thank you out to the Goddess, knowing she’d helped with her healing powers. “I’m sorry for what I did before,” he muttered.
His sister linked her arm through his. “You’ll make it up to me tomorrow when you hear cha-ching, cha-ching, over and over again,” she teased.
“I don’t think she’s joking. Our mother had her on a pretty tight budget when it came to buying anything.” Atika said, his words sobering them all.
Chapter Five
The following morning came, making Atlas groan at the amount of stuff his sister amassed during their shopping trip into town. Not that she’d only bought for herself, but she’d also bought things for the alpha house she’d insisted he needed. “I don’t think I have a need for all that,” he muttered.
“Of course, you do. Every alpha needs to have his own towels. You don’t want to wash your ass with the same towels the old bitch and her people have, or your face with ones that touched their asses?” She pretended to wipe her butt, then put it to her face.
Put that way, Atlas agreed. Hell, the way his sister put everything, he’d agreed. Several hours later, he was thinking they’d need a rental trailer to haul their purchases home, but the joy in Shauny’s features kept him from making a snarky response. “Dinner?” he asked their group, his stomach growling loudly enough the girl behind the counter grinned.
“What sounds good, and don’t say steak. You always want steak. I want something exotic,” Shauny said and handed him his credit card back.
Abyle raised one dark brow. “Steaks are life, baby brat.” He ruffled her hair.
They all agreed on a local mom and pop restaurant that catered to shifters, which also had a variety of meats. Atlas didn’t care where they ate, if he got something in his empty belly sooner rather than later.
“We’ll meet you both there after we drop off all this at the alpha house.” Atika gestured toward his truck which was filled with packages.
After they’d agreed on the shopping trip, he and his twin had followed Atlas and Shauny into town. Their trucks both had lift kits that rivaled a monster truck. The bed of his was covered by a camper shell, making it perfect for concealing things. The matte black, custom Ford 350 Super-duty pickup had to cost over a hundred thousand dollars with all the custom parts. Abyle’s grey pickup looked almost identical except for the main color and the lack of a camper shell. He wondered how his brothers had afforded such expensive vehicles, knowing their mother kept a tight hold of the family purse strings. He’d stayed away from home as much as possible since he’d turned eighteen, only stopping in for holidays. It had created a divide between Atlas and his siblings, but one that was necessary more so than a want.
When three sets of eyes seemed to bore into him, he pulled his focus back to the conversation. “Sounds solid. You need our help?” Fuck, for all he was aware, the alpha house needed to be cleaned out, possibly gutted. He scrubbed both hands down his face, feeling a days’ worth of stubble. After his run through memory fucked-up-lane, they’d returned to the house he was supposed to call home. He’d crashed in the family room on one of the sofas, unwilling to sleep in the old alpha’s bed.
“Nah, we got this. Get a table, and we’ll meet you both there in less than a half hour. It’ll probably take you that long to get seated,” Abyle said.
He and Shauny handed the bags they held to his brothers, then they went to his SUV. “How’re you really feeling today?” he asked holding the door open for her.
She took a deep breath but waited until he got behind the wheel to speak. “I’m still processing. I guess it hasn’t really hit me yet. She wasn’t in the house when it burned down last night. Like, why’d she burn her only home down and leave like that?”