by Joyce Alec
Linton grinned at the shared memory, his eyes never leaving hers. “I think I lost my way when we drifted apart,” he said quietly. “Mayhap if I had always had you by my side, then I would not have become such a rogue.”
Catherine did not know what to say, growing very aware of how his fingers were tracing the back of her hand. Something curled in the pit of her belly, spreading heat through her limbs.
“I suppose I had to go to Eton, of course, but I should have ensured my behavior remained tempered,” he finished. “Your voice was always my conscience, Kitty. I just became used to ignoring it.”
“I have never heard you speak in such a way before,” Catherine murmured. “This is quite new to my ears.”
His smile was warm. “I suppose I never wanted to admit it to you. But now that we are to be wed, I shall always have you as my conscience, and I do not think I will be easily able to ignore you.”
Catherine tilted her head and looked at her friend, seeing him in an entirely new light. He appeared more than earnest, and there was no hint of guile in his expression.
This was the Linton she knew, the one from her growing years. The one who was kind and compassionate, even if he did steal apples from Lord March. He was quite right to say that she had been his conscience, for she had never held back from telling him what he ought not to do. Her heart broke open with a warmth and a kinship long forgotten, her entire being desperate to believe that he really had changed back into her friend from childhood.
Linton patted her hand, smiling at her before dropping a firm kiss onto the back of her hand, making heat rush up her arm and into her core. He sat back and looked out of the window, apparently quite at ease with what he had done whilst Catherine sat there, entirely stunned at such a feeling.
This was now the second time she had experienced such a strong reaction to Linton’s gentle display of affection. It meant nothing, of course, for she was quite sure Linton did not love her, and she certainly could have no feelings towards him. The idea was quite ridiculous. They were friends and nothing more, and Linton had already promised her—while her cheeks had burned furiously—that he would not press any kind of physical attentions on her in their marriage until she was quite ready.
“Ah, look!” Linton exclaimed, rapping on the carriage roof. “There is your dear friend waving at us.”
“Alice!” Catherine exclaimed, seeing her friend walk towards her, leaving her husband talking with some other gentlemen. She quickly descended from the carriage whilst Linton instructed the driver to keep driving through the circuit so as not to hold up any of the other carriages.
“My dear Catherine!” Alice exclaimed, catching Catherine’s hands and squeezing them gently. “How wonderful to see you! It has been so long since you last called upon me!”
A stab of guilt pricked Catherine’s heart. “I am sorry for that, Alice. I meant to call, but there has been a great deal going on.”
“So I see,” Alice replied with a slight smile as Lord Linton approached them. “And are you happy, Catherine? You think this is the right path for you?”
“I do,” Catherine stated quietly, aware of Lord Linton’s presence drawing near to her. “I have not changed my mind yet.”
Alice lifted one eyebrow as Linton gave her a deep bow. “And are you proving yourself, my lord?” she asked, not even waiting to greet him. “I will not have you hurt Catherine.”
Linton did not seem in the least bit offended. “I have every intention of proving myself to both Catherine and to her friends,” he answered with another short bow. “I do hope you will attend our wedding.”
“Of course I shall,” Alice replied, never taking her eyes from Linton. “Unless I can convince Catherine of her folly, first.”
Catherine’s eyes widened in shock at Alice’s candor, but to her very great relief, Lord Linton only laughed, putting one hand around Catherine’s waist. “I see I shall have to work hard to show you how much I have changed,” he said, still laughing. “I have not made a good impression on you, have I?”
“No, you have not,” Alice declared. “Do you not recall your terrible behavior towards Catherine at the bookshop? I cannot have a good opinion of you since I saw you use her for your own ends.”
“Not even when he has done so much in recompense?” Catherine asked her friend, finding herself a little protective of Lord Linton. “Surely you have heard what he has been doing recently?”
Alice’s expression grew surprised as she saw the sudden flash of defensiveness in Catherine’s green eyes. “Yes,” she murmured, glancing at Lord Linton. “I suppose that does make a difference.”
“Good,” Catherine stated as Linton tightened his arm around her waist just a fraction. “Now, shall we walk for a while? The air is warm, and the day is pleasant, so there is no need to sully it with angry words.”
Alice kept her eyes on Lord Linton for another moment or so before turning back to her, the fight gone from her expression. “I must return to my husband,” she said, pressing Catherine’s hand. “Do call on me soon, will you not?”
“I will,” Catherine promised, smiling at her friend as the tense atmosphere around them lessened. “Very soon, I assure you.”
“I look forward to it,” Alice muttered, inclining her head towards Lord Linton before taking her leave.
Lord Linton watched her go, a small smile on his lips. “You defended me valiantly, Kitty. You did not need to do so.”
Catherine looked up at him and tucked her arm into his as they began to walk around the park. “Of course I did,” she said. “You are to be my husband, are you not? Alice need not worry about me any longer. I have made up my mind.”
Linton’s eyes grew warm, his expression tender. “You are a marvel,” he murmured, walking away from the trail of carriages. “A wonder, in fact. I am truly blessed.”
Catherine could not help but blush at his compliments. As she walked alongside him, she began to feel quite settled within herself. The friendship she had once shared with Linton was beginning to grow yet again, and with it, warmth had begun to blossom in her heart. She felt more than happy with him, which came as a rather alarming surprise.
Could she possibly feel something more for him? As much as she did not want to even consider it, Catherine had to admit that there was the chance she might grow fond of him. Had she not already been feeling a few strange sensations when he had taken her hand or kissed her cheek?
Her thoughts in disarray, Catherine stumbled suddenly as they entered a small, secluded copse of trees, only for Linton to catch her. Carefully setting her on her feet, he eyed her carefully, his hands now on her waist.
“Are you all right?” he asked, sounding worried. “You are not growing weary, I hope? I know this has all been rather sudden, and I would not blame you if—”
“I am quite all right,” Catherine interrupted hastily. “I simply was not looking where I was going.”
Linton’s hands remained settled on her waist, his dark brown eyes piercing her own. Catherine drew in a shuddering breath, aware that they were quite secluded. She could not account for the way her body was bursting to life, her heart thundering in her chest as he raised one hand and ran his fingers lightly down her cheek.
“You are such a beautiful woman,” he murmured, his hand gently brushing her auburn curls. “Your eyes are like emeralds surrounded by a blaze of fire.”
Her heart beat all the faster, and Catherine found she could not look anywhere but his face. His mouth was so close to her own, and for a moment, Catherine realized she had a strong urge to kiss him.
It was too much.
“I am feeling a little wobbly after all,” she said quickly, stepping out of his embrace. “Might you take me home? I think a cup of refreshing tea would do me the world of good.”
A strange little smile crossed his face as he held out his arm to her, as though he knew she was trying to run from her own feelings. They walked back towards the carriages, still doing their slow circle of th
e park in search of their carriage whilst Catherine found that, all of a sudden, she was quite desperate to get home.
15
“And so the final banns are to be read come the morrow!” Lady Hewson exclaimed as she sat down heavily in a chair opposite Catherine, who was trying her best to continue with her embroidery.
“Yes, Mama,” Catherine said. What was it her mother wished to say about it? Catherine knew she would not make such a comment without having something to say about it.
Her mother sighed heavily. “And are you quite sure, Catherine?”
“Yes, Mama,” Catherine repeated, shaking her head to herself. “You need not keep asking me.”
“I simply want to ensure you are prepared for this, my dear,” her mother replied, sounding quite frustrated. “I must admit that Lord Linton has shown himself to be somewhat worthy of late, but that does not mean he will remain so.”
Catherine smiled at her mother, aware that her exasperation came out of concern for Catherine’s wellbeing. “He has changed, has he not?” she mumbled to herself, thinking over the last two months. The banns had only been called a sennight ago, once all had been settled, and Catherine had only one last opportunity to break off her engagement, should she wish it. She was due to be married in five days’ time, the Thursday after the final banns were called. It was to be a very quiet affair, but that was just as Catherine wanted it.
What had surprised Catherine lately was to realize that Linton was becoming quite the gentleman. He had called on her almost every day since their engagement had been announced, and Catherine had grown more and more eager to spend time in his company. She had not mentioned her growing feelings to either her mother or Alice, finding them most confusing and quite unexpected.
When Linton smiled at her, her heart seemed to stop for the briefest of moments. When he called her ‘Kitty’ in that affectionate way of his, it spread warmth all through her, even though he had called her that name for almost as long as she had known him.
She did not even consider Lord Kerr, nor did she feel any kind of hurt over what he had done. Linton’s actions did not cut deeply any longer, and she found herself strangely grateful towards him, as though she was glad that she was to marry him. He no longer had any rumors chasing after him, given that he had sorted out a variety of substantial monetary amends to each one—and that was on top of the debt he had paid on behalf of Lord Kerr! He was not clinging to his wealth but rather doing good with it, as though he wished to keep his future with Catherine a bright one.
She no longer worried in the least that he would go back to his former ways, and instead, she saw him as a strong, astute gentleman who would do anything he could to make her happy. How much she appreciated that! How much he had done for her. Catherine could not help but feel gratitude and, she had to admit, a slow burning affection for the man she had once been determined to avoid entirely.
“Catherine?”
Glancing up at her mother, Catherine realized she had become lost in thought. “Yes, Mama?”
Lady Hewson closed her eyes and shook her head. “Do not tell me you have fallen for the man, Catherine! Too often I have caught you with your head in the clouds these last few weeks!”
The laugh died in Catherine’s throat. “Love?” she croaked as a burst of heat climbed its way up her spine. “I am not that foolish, Mama.”
“I should hope not!” her mother exclaimed, tossing her head. “Lord Linton has shown he can change, yes, but that does not mean that the change will be long standing.”
“Well, I have Father’s contract in place, if the worst should happen,” Catherine reminded Lady Hewson. “Please, Mama, you are driving me mad with your constant worrying. I trust Linton. We shall be happy together, I promise you.”
Her mother sighed heavily. “I shall miss you, my dear,” she said, a little more gently. “Once you are wed, there will be no need for us to remain in town.”
Catherine swallowed the lump in her throat. She was close to her mother and had never truly considered what being apart from her would be like.
“I suppose you shall live here, given that Linton enjoys the town life so much, whilst we return to the country,” her mother continued woefully.
“I presume so,” Catherine murmured, trying not to think of it. “Life will be very different after I am married. That is to be expected, I suppose.”
Lady Hewson huffed and muttered under her breath for a few minutes more, but then she was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Are you expecting someone, Catherine?”
“No, I do not think so,” Catherine answered, setting her embroidery aside. Once they were both sitting properly, her mother called the butler to enter, only for Lord Linton to stride in ahead of the butler, his gaze fixed on Catherine.
Her breath caught as he bowed, his eyes never leaving her face. Catherine smiled as she got to her feet, her heart swelling with happiness as he kissed her hand gently.
“My dear, Kitty.” He smiled after he had greeted her mother. “The wedding is only a few short days away, and I have come to see that all is in order.”
“Of course all is in order!” Lady Hewson exclaimed, her eyes flashing. “Do you not think us capable of organizing a wedding?”
Catherine hid a smile as Linton bowed heavily, his expression a mixture of surprise and embarrassment.
“I never doubted you for a moment, my lady,” he said, attempting to appease her. “What I meant to say—and you will have to forgive me for being so ineloquent—is that I wanted to see if there was anything I might help you with.” He flashed a smile, which Catherine knew was an attempt to mollify her mother. “After all, this is to be my wedding, too, and I cannot help but feel excited at the prospect of marrying your daughter.”
Lady Hewson glared at him for a moment longer before giving him a tight smile and resuming her seat. Catherine laughed quietly to herself as she got up to tug the bell pull for tea.
“If you do not mind,” Linton interjected hastily, “I wondered if you might like to take a turn around the gardens, Kitty?”
Catherine paused, her hand freezing as it neared the bell pull. “You want to walk with me?”
“I do,” he replied, a slight twinkle in his eye. “Is that all right? I thought it might be nice if we had a few minutes to talk.”
“You can talk here!” her mother interrupted, looking as though she were about to disagree with every single thing Linton would say. “There is no reason you cannot speak freely in my presence.”
Catherine moved away from the bell pull, bent down to kiss her mother’s cheek, and stepped towards the door. “A walk in the gardens sounds quite wonderful,” she said, ignoring her mother’s hiss of discouragement. She had dealt with more than enough of Lady Hewson’s frank speech that afternoon, and a walk with Linton might be just the thing to give her a little relief.
“Wonderful!” Linton boomed, walking across the room to meet her. “I shall not be too long. Mayhap we can have tea with your mother once we return?”
“A very good idea,” Catherine declared, laughing at the look of relief on Linton’s face as they quit the room. “We will not be long, Mama!” she called as they began to walk along the corridor. Once they stepped outside, she turned to Linton. “I am sorry for my mother’s behavior towards you. She does not trust you still, I am afraid.”
Linton shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips. “I have no doubt that she cares for you a very great deal. I do not hold her attitude towards me against her.”
“Then you are very good,” Catherine declared with a quick laugh. “She has been most trying the last few days. She intends to put me off our nuptials, I am quite sure of it!” She squeezed his arm gently. “As I said, she is having a somewhat difficult time trusting you.”
He looked at her for a moment as they walked, his gaze concentrated on her face. “And do you trust me?”
Catherine paused in her steps, caught by the intensity of his gaze and the seriousne
ss of his question. “Of course I do,” she answered. “I would have thought it would have been more than apparent as of late.”
“It is,” he said fervently, turning to face her a little more. “I suppose I just wanted to hear it from your lips. I cannot explain it even to myself, but something about you drives me to become the man you deserve.”
Catherine caught her breath as the warmth in his eyes grew, and then she turned herself back towards the path and began to stride away. She was too confused to speak, her stomach filled with fluttering butterflies as she moved away from him.
“Kitty!” Lord Linton called, catching her arm. “Is something the matter?”
Catherine found herself breathless as she turned back to face him, unsure of what to say.
“You are worrying me now,” he said, his expression concerned. “You are not having second thoughts, I hope?”
“No, no, nothing of the sort!” Catherine exclaimed, shaking her head. “You need not worry yourself on that account.”
“Need I not?” he asked, his voice a little softer as he drew closer to her. “Then, are you going to tell me what is on your mind?”
Pursing her lips, Catherine struggled in vain to think of what to say, her thoughts more jumbled than ever. “I am quite all right.”
“No, you are not,” he protested. “You forget just how well I know you. Come now, be honest with me. Whatever it is, I want to know.” He smiled gently at her. “Mayhap I can help you.”
Groaning, Catherine shook her head and stepped away from him again. “Please, Linton, do not press me so.”
A light seemed to burn in his eyes, but he remained silent, taking her hand in his own and beginning to walk slowly amongst the garden shrubs.
“This is a beautiful garden, I must say,” he commented, turning the subject away from her entirely. “When we are wed, I thought to move back to my country estate.”
“Really?” Catherine breathed, surprised.