“That is not of my concern at this present moment. I excused myself from her presence with the assurance that I will return. Shall we get on with the matter at hand?”
She nodded once. “As you wish, Sir Russell.”
Alex was beginning to hate the sound of his title. It caused an ever-widening gap between them.
“Would it be too demanding of me to have you call me Alex? You did once before.”
“But you are not Alex. You are Sir Alexander Russell, Sixth Baronet of Chesterfield. It is only proper that I address you appropriately.”
“And if I were to give you permission to address me as Alex?”
“Is that what you wish to argue about?”
This woman was insufferable, and yet he found that he was enjoying their banter. When had a woman spoke to him in this manner? He didn’t dare smile as that would likely send her on her way, and he was nowhere near close to presenting his case.
“I see. You may call me as you wish.”
Selina tilted her head to the side, her smile calculated.
“Take care, Sir Russell. That is a dangerous statement to make.”
Alex could not help the roar of laughter that fell from his lips. This woman was bent on challenging him at every turn.
“I believe that you would make a formidable foe, Selina. Unfortunately, I am not in the habit of creating enemies. Therefore, I declare a truce. I ask you to allow me to speak my mind, and I will be as understanding as I can with any grievances that you may hold against me. Do we have a deal?”
Selina tapped her chin, her bare hand both plump and graceful in the starlight. He waited with bated breath, hoping that she would see things his way. Her hand went down.
“Deal. No more scathing remarks and underhanded comments. Please continue.”
That certainly made things easier, if not dull. But they both needed cool heads to come to a conclusion.
“Thank you,” he said. “As I was saying, I believe that it is you who has changed so much, and none for the better. I remain the same man that you met on that fateful afternoon. Give me a reason to believe that I have offended you as you have so claimed thus far.”
Selina smoothed her brow, her red curls shaking from side to side. When she finally returned her gaze to his, her emerald eyes rooted him to the spot, challenging him to deny the truth that lay in their depths. But no matter how she chose to weave the story, her truth was subjective. Alex was confident that he did not do anything so foul as to have invited her ire upon his head.
“It is not a claim, but a truth,” she explained. “More so felt by me as I am a woman. You cannot understand what you have done because you are a man. Everything has been handed to you on a silver platter. Society has placed little restraint on your gender, and because of it, you act callously.”
“Callous is a rather strong word, Selina,” he objected.
“It is an apt word, Sir Russell. You have the freedom to come and go as you please, directing yourself in every which way. You do what you want when you want. There is an unspoken agreement among men and women that while men are free to act and say as they please, women are bound by social etiquette. Yes, you may argue that you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders in the way of responsibilities, but who do you think carries the true weight of heavy burdens? Women. A woman is not recognised for her mind and character, but by her husband or father. She must follow a set of rules to remain in society, neither leaning to the left nor the right in fear of judgement.”
“I agree that men enjoy greater freedom than women, but what is your point here?”
She sighed. “For an intelligent man, Sir Russell, you can be as thick as a brick. Do you not realise that I may have been punished for the information that you revealed at your ball?”
“Why would you be punished? I am afraid that I do not understand.”
“How do I put this into simple words? You are celebrated for bending the rules, but I will be held responsible for any misdemeanour on my part. For once, try to think of what may have happened had your guests overheard you tell my family that you had met an un-chaperoned woman on your property. They will not consider the circumstances, but the image before them.”
“I did not mean to expose you, Selina. I simply wished to defend your sketching skills. Your aunt was not particularly complimentary about your work, and I believed that highly unfair of her.”
“So your thought was to potentially ruin my reputation and that of my sister?”
What was she talking about? Why would he ruin their reputations?
“I did no such thing, Selina. Surely you are fabricating this story?”
“A fabrication? I think not. Think back on your words, Sir Russell. Remove yourself from the situation and try to think from my perspective–that is, if you can.”
Alex closed his eyes and travelled back to the ballroom, willing himself to remember just what had been said. He saw himself standing before them, his eyes on the beauty in the green dress. Selina had refused to meet his eyes, choosing to stare at the floor. But what had he said that could have caused such a rift between them? Surely complimenting her on her sketches had been the right thing to do, and neither could he deny the fact that they had already met. It was not as though they had secretly arranged to meet. No, Selina had happened across his estate by accident. He shook his head, still not understanding where he had gone wrong.
“None of my words or actions were malicious, Selina. I fail to see what you mean.”
Selina threw her hands into the air and walked away. Rather than follow her, he gave her some space. Thankfully, she did not go far. Alex waited for her to return to their conversation. He was trying his best to understand things from her point of view, but it was difficult when nothing said or done by him had been so terrible as to ruin her reputation or even that of her sister. He would never do such a thing! Selina slowly walked back to him, her brow creased into a deep frown.
“Do you know, it is not truly my reputation that I am concerned about. My life does not depend on being accepted by those that proclaim themselves as far superior to the working mass, oh no. I loathe the thought of marrying a wealthy man. I could quite happily marry a pig farmer and live a fulfilling life. But do you know what galls me?”
Alex watched her with a wary gaze. This was a woman who did not fit in and relished that fact. However, there was a sting behind her words, and he felt it. Does she wish to insult me by preferring the life as a pig farmer’s wife than the one that a man of my status could give her? It appeared so, and he did not care for it in the slightest. Selina looked to him as though waiting for an answer, but he had none to give.
“Nothing to say, Sir Russell? Very well, let me continue. I cannot be left alone to make my own choices because it would reflect upon my sister. Now, Ophelia is not like me, although I do love her like no other. She yearns for an enviable match, and to have one, you must be presentable and perfect. It would not do for her older sister to go against the grain, as people would immediately assume the worst of her as well. I would not care, but Ophelia would, which in turn means that I would care as well. Do you see how mangled and twisted this is? I am my own person, as is Ophelia, and yet as women, we are one and the same. We are judged as a unit. Now, men are a different matter altogether. You are treated as individuals and seldom judged for reckless behaviour. ’Tis not fair, but one cannot argue with reality, can we?”
Her face lacked emotion, but her tone was bitter.
“And you would judge me for this?”
“Not at first, no. But you soon showed your true character. You are no better than the next self-entitled man.”
Alex felt that her words were uncalled for. They both angered and upset him. Alex had never considered himself to be part of the social class that abused their status. He treated all people with respect, and he had never dishonoured a woman. While he benefited from his wealth, so did the many people who worked for him on his estate and businesses.
&nb
sp; “I have never been so insulted as I have been this day. You simply have no right to judge me as you have. To think that I considered you to be a woman of justice and integrity.”
Alex could quite easily lose his temper, but pride kept his emotions in check. He did not want this woman to see how she had riled him up.
“You play the injured party so well, Sir Russell. Have you considered acting?”
Selina knew that she was being uncharacteristically mean, but the words continued to tumble out of her mouth. This is not me; I must put a stop to this madness. He may be a liar, but I am not a bitter woman.
“You have the tongue of a viper, Selina. Perhaps you are revealing your true self, the true Selina Seymour.”
In some way, she supposed that she deserved that, but she wasn’t about to let him off that easily either. She looked at him closely, noticing the look of a hurt man. Papa has warned me about my tongue before. He said that it has the power to cut a man in two and destroy his self-esteem. What if she had done that very thing to Alex? Yes, she was upset with him, but she had never expected to see evidence of injured emotions. It is time that I put this matter to rest once and for all.
“Sir Russell, I apologise for the dark direction that this conversation took. It was not my intention. I shall return to the house, but I shall leave you with this: dishonesty is not a trait that I find acceptable in anyone that I associate myself with. And for that reason, I ask that you leave me be. Let me continue with my life, and you with yours. Should I see you, I will remain polite and respectful, as I hope that you will do as well. Do I have your word?”
She looked at him hopefully, needing him to see the situation her way.
He shook his head. “That would be admitting to guilt, despite not having done anything wrong. And if you are referring to the fact that I did not disclose my title, then I beg to differ. There was no dishonesty involved. I simply did not think it necessary to give you my title that afternoon. It is but a title, but I am Alex, the very same person that you met and assumed to be a stable groom. And might I point out that I did not say that I was a stable groom. You came to that conclusion based on inconclusive evidence.”
Selina sighed. They were going around in circles.
“I see that we are not going to agree on this matter.”
Without warning, Alex stepped closer to her, causing her to take one step backwards.
“What do you mean by doing this?”
She hated that her voice sounded breathy. This was hardly the time to be physically affected by him.
“I merely want to see if my Selina is still there beneath this hard shell that you have covered yourself in.”
“Well, I will kindly ask you to step back.”
She was flustered and struggling to maintain the stern element in her voice. One minute she was giving him a piece of her mind, and the next she was blushing like a girl straight out of the schoolroom. Have some self-respect, Selina. Do not allow this smooth-talking fiend to entice you into dropping your guard. You are doing this for Ophelia, remember that.
“And if I choose not to?”
How had he managed to switch from anger to an intensity that made her grow warm? There was an earthiness about him that she found alluring. No amount of telling herself how wrong he was for her dispelled that truth from her mind.
“Then I shall leave you alone to admire the stars.”
She made a move to his left, but he deftly blocked that area, his arms outstretched.
“You feel it too. Do not try to deny it.”
“Feel what, exactly?”
Better to play dumb than to admit any feelings for him.
“This connection between the both of us. We both felt it the day we first met, and it hasn’t disappeared, despite your tactics to try and remove me from your life. Why will you not just accept it?”
Accept that she has inexplicable feelings for a wealthy man? The very type of man that she swore against ever associating herself with?
“You are delusional if you think that I’ll do such a thing.”
He laughed. “Perhaps I am crazy for wanting to pursue whatever it is that we have between us, especially when you have said all that you can to repel me. Fortunately, I do not give up that easily.”
This man was proving to be rather difficult to remove from her life. But did not a part of her like that? And if she were honest with herself, she would admit that despite all that had happened, a part of her still pulled towards him, much like a magnet being attracted to metal.
“How I wish you would just give up and leave me be!”
She tried to push past him, but he gently gripped her wrists, holding her in place.
“Unhand me, Sir Russell, or I shall scream.”
He chuckled. “I would not advise you to do that, Selina. Imagine what the other guests might think?”
Selina hated the fact that he was right. There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that the guests would try to fabricate a story that would taint her reputation and elevate that of Alex’s to a rake of the highest regard. Or worst yet, she would be forced to marry him to protect her honour. That thought immediately took the fight out of her. Her body went limp, her wrists dangling loosely in his grip.
“Would marrying me be such a terrible thing?” he said quietly.
She glanced at him sharply, her eyes wide. She hadn’t mentioned anything about marriage out loud, she was certain that she hadn’t. How had he known what she was thinking about?
“I, uh ... I d-didn’t ...” she stammered. Selina swallowed hard and tried again. “What would make you say something like that?”
“I saw it in your eyes. Did you know that they are quite expressive? I expect that you do. I daresay that you would be terrible at card games as you would reveal everything just by the look in your eyes.”
She immediately closed them, worried about what they might show next. I will have to look in the mirror and teach myself to appear blank. I cannot have this man reading me like an open book.
“Selina? You have not answered my question.”
She opened one eye. “A question?”
He rolled his eyes. “Have you forgotten already? I asked if marrying me would be such a terrible thing.”
Oh, that. Both her eyes opened as she looked at him, wondering what was going on in his mind. Unlike her, he sported a closed expression, but there was a tenderness about him that threatened to undo her. Despite his actions during his ball, Alex seemed to behave much like how he had portrayed himself to her by the river. But what of the rumours? Could he be the man whose identity Jane had kept a secret throughout their affair?
Selina had expected Alex to start acting differently now that she knew he was a baronet, but he hadn’t. She had watched him interact with his guests and employees, showing nothing but equality, kindness, and respect. Was it all just for show, or was he genuinely the man he portrayed himself to be? Mrs Albermarle had spoken nothing but kind words about him, refusing to believe the rumours that were whispered about him. Of course, she had not worked for him for a good while–what if he had changed from the time that she had left? Selina didn’t know how to answer him. She pulled away from him and looked him straight in the eyes.
“I do not know, Alex. So much has happened ...”
“You have not said no, surely that counts for something?”
The hope in his voice tugged at her heartstrings. Why could he not just forget about her and move on with his life? Why did he insist on talking to her, bringing her greater distress? Alex looked intensely into her eyes, taking both her hands in his. He lifted them to his lips, kissing one, and then the other. The feel of his lips on her bare hands sent shivers up her spine.
A Charming Lady for the Intriguing Baronet: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 16