by Kyra Fox
“Yeah, sure, why not?” Zoe laughs through her tears. “Come here!” Cory shoots me a look, the same one I’ve been getting from every other person in my life since I left Zoe, the one that says “Dumbass, how did you let this one go?”
Not that I need the constant reminder that I’m an idiot for letting Zoe go, but I plan on fixing that tonight. And if the way she’s been looking at me when she lets her emotions out of check is any indication, I still have a chance to earn back her heart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
ZOE
Overwhelmed. That’s how this day has made me feel. Eric’s family is everything I could have imagined them to be knowing the kind of man he’s become, nature versus nurture at its best. And after seeing how easily he found himself with them, how he suddenly carries himself higher and prouder knowing he’s a Macalister, I have no more doubt in my mind that his process is real.
“Hey.” Eric comes to stand by my side after we’ve finished dinner and cleared off the table, and I suddenly realize we’re alone in the dining room. “Can I offer you a tour of the backyard?”
“Sure.” I force a small smile because this next part scares me. I’ve forgiven Eric, I still love him more than I can put into words, but I don’t know if I have the courage to put my heart at risk again. We walk outside to the edge of the backyard, all the way to the white picket fence, never saying a word.
“I finally got that tattoo.” Eric breaks the awkward silence. “You want to see?”
“Sure.” Anything to avoid the painful tension between us. We’ve always felt so easy around one another, and this uncomfortableness only serves to show how far apart we’ve grown in just a few weeks.
It’s breaking my heart all over again.
Eric lifts his shirt over his abs and then over his chest. I trail the path the fabric makes with my eyes, resisting the need to do so with my hands until they land on the black ink etched into the skin of Eric’s left peck. It’s a poem or quote, I’m not sure, it’s too small for me to see from the distance between us.
Taking a deep breath, I close the distance with a few hesitant steps until I’m close enough to read what he had chosen to script onto his body forever in black ink. I’m so close I can smell his skin, that mixed scent of saltiness and sweet sun-kissed flesh that attacks all my senses with addictive force and melts away the restraint I had fought so hard to maintain.
My hand lifts at its own accord, resting over Eric’s heart where I trace the curly shaped words with my thumb. Eric trembles under my touch as I read the words out loud, my eyes tearing up as their meaning sinks in.
“For Small Creatures such as We
The Vastness is Bearable
Only Through Love.”
Carl Sagan
“I love you, Zoe.” His large hand covers my small one still placed over his heart. “I was drifting meaninglessly through my life until I met you. You gave meaning to everything, you are everything. You make my life more than just bearable, you make it full—full of happiness and light, and everything I didn’t think I deserved until I met you. It scared me so much, Zoe, to let myself believe I deserve you.” He takes a step toward me, lifting my chin with his other hand, so I’m looking into his eyes.
“I’m still scared, but I trust you. I trust you when you say you love me for who I am, for everything that I am. I trust you when you say I’m good enough, when you say I make you happy.” Tears are flowing freely from my eyes as he speaks, I can feel his heart racing under my palm, and I’m sure mine is beating just as fast. “And I trust you when you say you’ll never walk away from me.”
“I won’t.” My hand finds its way to my favorite spot in his wavy hair, tangling into it as if trying to tether myself to him.
“I know.” Eric’s voice is full of remorse and his eyes with agony. “I’m so sorry I did. I’m so sorry that I hurt you like that, that I let fear control me so blindly and I’ve been working so hard to change that.”
“I know, and I forgive you.” I had forgiven him a while ago, but I needed to know he wouldn’t give up easily, that he’d be willing to work through what made him leave like that. Hearing his words melted my resistance, but his actions are what eliminates all of my fears, allowing my heart to love him wholly and without limitations again.
A sigh of relief escaped Eric’s mouth.
“I’ve missed you so badly.” He strokes the arch of my upper lip with his thumb. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head straight. I’m sorry I walked out, to begin with.”
“You came back for me.” I kiss the tip of his finger. “You made an effort, you fought for me, for us.”
“And I always will.” Eric suddenly seems nervous. “I want to give you something. It’s my promise to you that I’ll never walk away again if you’ll accept it.”
“You don’t have to give me anything.”
“I know. I want to.” He pulls something out of his pocket, a blue velvet box.
“Eric…” I feel heat rise to my cheeks as he opens the box to reveal a glittering diamond ring.
“This isn’t a proposal. I’m not asking you to marry me, yet.” His voice is somehow filled with both nervousness and tenderness. “I want to promise you forever, Zoe. I want you to know that this is waiting for you, for the moment you’re ready because you’re it for me and I will wait as long as it takes. I know it’s quick, even for this, considering we weren’t together that long, to begin with, and....”
“Yes,” I blurt out, cutting off his nervous rant. “I want forever with you, Eric.”
“What are you saying?” His eyes are full of hope and warmth.
“I’m saying no more doing things halfway.” I throw myself at him and stare deep into his eyes. “If you’re serious then you better put that ring on my finger.”
Eric pulls me all the way against him, finally kissing me, deep and sensual, somehow still managing to slip the ring onto my left-hand ring finger.
There’s cheering from the back porch, and a door flies open, slamming against the wall. Philip is the first one there, picking me up easily and spinning me around with exhilaration.
“That took so long, I was sure you were going to turn the asshole down.” He hugs me warmly. “I’m so glad you didn’t. I’ll keep him in line from now on, I promise.”
I laugh and shake my head. Before I can respond, the Macalisters are surrounding us, hugging and kissing and wiping tears.
“Let’s see the ring!” Helen and Steph huddle around me excitedly, and I lift my hand, truly examining the ring for the first time. It’s a rose gold band with an array of glittering diamonds set in three-prong settings surrounding the center gem, a large blush-colored morganite. It’s truly beautiful and fits me perfectly.
“It looks like a sun,” I observe as the women coo over the ring.
“The design is called Sunburst.” Eric cups my face and runs his thumb across my jaw. “I chose it because from the moment I first laid eyes on you, you lit up even the darkest corners of my life.” I hear ”awing” and someone sobbing, but I don’t register who; there’s only Eric, standing in front of me, his eyes filled with love and happiness as he looks at me.
“I love you.” I feel like my chest is going to explode from how strongly I’m feeling at this moment. “So much.”
He pulls me into another searing kiss, my hands immediately finding their way into his hair. Somewhere in the background, I hear feet shuffling over grass and a door close shut, then we’re alone again.
“Make love to me, Eric.” I murmur against his lips.
“Right here on my grandparent’s lawn?” He gives me that cocky grin that makes my panties melt and I feel a blush creep up my neck and a soft sigh escape from my lips. “That adorable blush, Zoe, I can’t be held accountable for my actions when it makes an appearance.”
“Let’s drive somewhere. Like the first time I had all of you inside of me, without barriers.” That elicits a growl from deep within Eric’s chest, reverberating throu
gh my entire body.
“No more barriers, Zo,” Eric promises, and I know he isn’t just talking about the physical kind.
“Take me somewhere now, I need you.”
Eric grabs my hand, and we practically run to the rental car. He drives at record speed to a field just outside of Yosemite airport, it’s dark and empty at this hour on a Friday night.
I shimmy out of my panties as Eric mimics me and gets rid of his jeans and trunks. I straddle him, and Eric pulls his shirt over his head, bearing his chest to my roaming hands. He proceeds to rid me of my dress and bra, all the discarded clothes placed in a heap on the passenger side.
“God, I missed these.” His hands are on my breasts, fondling them with eagerness, causing me to buck my chest forward and moan.
“I missed these.” I caress his calloused hands with mine.
“Where did you miss them the most, my little sex goddess?” His voice is deep and lustful, and he doesn’t wait for my answer before a hand glides down between my legs, running along my folds and over my clit.
“Right there,” I mewl in encouragement.
“I dreamt about how wet you get for me, Goddess.” He slides a finger inside of me, and the world starts crashing around me.
“Every night I’d wake up all sweaty and hard and would remember what it felt like having your sweet pussy come all over my hand.” He adds another finger, and I’m positive there’s an earthquake. “And I’d come without even having to touch myself, that’s what you do to me, Goddess.” He adds a third finger and combined with his tantalizing words I feel the ground drop from under me as I fall endlessly, chanting his name, telling him I love him, possibly in a few different languages.
Eric removes his fingers from inside of me when I’m done quaking, never breaking his intense gaze away from mine. He deliberately sucks and licks each of his fingers separately. When he reaches the last digit, I grab his hand and suck on it, hard, tasting my own sweet flavor mixed with the saltiness of his skin.
Something feral takes over Eric’s eyes, his pupils dilate, and he growls, crashing his mouth to mine as our tongues dance in a fierce rhythm.
Suddenly he pulls back and takes a deep breath as if to compose himself.
“No.” He shakes his head more at himself than at me. “Slowly. I want to feel every inch, every second.” I nod and lower myself onto him, slowly gliding his cock in, gasping reverently at each additional inch that stretches me in decadent pleasure until our hips meet, and he’s nestled deep inside of me.
I look down in awe where our bodies join, trying to imprint into my mind the sheer perfection of the image. We stay like that for a while, kissing and stroking each other, enjoying the feeling of each other’s bare skin, making up for lost time.
“Tell me some more about your dreams.” I stroke his neck and he smiles, starting to leisurely move his hips in small circular motions.
“The rules dictate that it’s your turn to tell me.” Eric lifts his hand and caresses my breast. “Tell me about your dreams, Goddess.”
“A few days ago I dreamt that you came to me when I was asleep.” My hips start to move in tandem with his, reveling in the sensation of having him move inside of me in torturing delicacy like we have all the time in the world. “You put your amazing hands on my thighs and spread them open, touching me with your fingers before putting your mouth on me.” Eric groans and starts moving faster. I increase my grinding to match his. Our eyes never break contact the entire time.
“I like your dream so far, Goddess.” His voice is deep and grainy, his hands on my ass kneading my cheeks as I grind my hips.
“You licked me and kissed me and slid your fingers into me until you woke me up by making me come. God, Eric, I love the way you make me come with your mouth and fingers.”
We’re starting to move faster now, the sound of skin sliding against skin filling the rental car.
“I love making you come with my mouth and fingers,” Eric rasps, his eyes so hazed with passion that the only hint of green is a glimmer that runs through them. “I love the way you feel and taste.”
“After I woke up, you made tender love to me. It was so beautiful I cried. You’re so beautiful.” I feel a surge of emotion flutter through me like a kaleidoscope of butterflies and bend my head forward, kissing Eric tenderly, making love to his mouth with my lips and tongue before locking my gaze with his again. “After I came again, though, you got that look in your eyes, like you were going to devour me.”
“Tell me.” His hands move to my hips, and he’s pushing me harder over his cock, thrusting into me with vindication now. “Tell me how I devoured you, my goddess, how I made you mine.”
“You flipped me on my stomach and shoved your big cock into my tight pussy with one hard thrust, then you just kept pounding into me hard and fast, fucking me like you couldn’t get enough, like you were trying to leave a part of yourself inside of me so no one else could ever have me.” I feel his cock pulse at my words, indicating that he’s close, immediately causing my pussy to squeeze around him, pulling him deeper, reeling me toward the edge.
“Tell me you’re mine, Zoe.” Despite the breathless huskiness in his voice, Eric’s request isn’t commanding but rather tender and inviting. “Tell me you’re mine forever.”
“I’m yours, Eric,” I promise breathlessly, “and you’re mine. Forever.”
His lips find mine and swallow my soft cries as my entire body tenses, sending jolts of electrical energy from low in my stomach through my body as my muscles clench around him, demanding he go deeper, get closer, stay inside of me forever.
I feel his warm essence fill me as I squeeze all I can out of him, greedily wanting to drain him, claim him, empty him so I’ll feel full. We sit there for a long time, catching our breaths as the aftershock of our orgasms fade.
“I love you.” Eric kisses my shoulder and neck.
“You’ve said that a million times today.” I don’t really mind, but I like teasing him.
“And I’m going to say it a million times a day, every day, for the rest of my life,” he vows. “As long as it makes you happy.”
“I am happy, Eric.” I kiss him tenderly, and his face breaks out into a real full smile, one that reaches his eyes and makes the emerald green of them blaze. “I’m so very happy.”
THE END
Epilogue
MAC
“Good morning, Beautiful.” I look with awe at the big brown eyes staring up at me. “God, how can anything be as perfect as you are?”
“Well, she is half you.” Zoe smiles at me sleepily from our bed.
“She’s also half you, which is probably the half that makes her perfect.” I smile at my gorgeous wife as I sit next to her with our three-month-old daughter in my arms.
“Hey, baby girl, how did you sleep?” Zoe leans over and kisses the small hand, causing our little baby to gurgle with joy.
The past two years have been one peak after another.
I moved into Zoe’s apartment right away, and we got married within a few months of our engagement, but not before Philip and I officially changed our last name back to Macalister.
Philip was my best man, of course, though Brian and Tim were in charge of the bachelor party as groomsmen because Philip was too young to actually buy any booze.
Brian and I had become even closer after I’d patched things up with Zoe, and as much as I love my friends, the bond I share with Brian runs a level deeper not just because I married his cousin, but because of our bleak beginnings in life. We don’t tiptoe around each other when there are hard truths to be told, something I’ve learned to appreciate more than I ever thought I would.
I graduated from college, and after a few months, Lenny decided to give me more responsibility at the shop, officially making me manager and taking a step back to spend more time with Martha and his new grandson.
And exactly a year ago, Zoe and I went on a camping trip, the likes of which we started going on often since we got back
together. We made love in the back of my truck like we had that first trip to the woods, and nine months later we had a little family of our own.
“She’s well-rested and excited to hit the road.” I’m still smiling at her, unable to stop looking at this little human being who is nothing short of a miracle to me. “Ready to go see pops and nan, little Audrey?”
“And Uncle Philip, of course.” Zoe nuzzles Audrey’s nose with her own, causing her to wail with joy, the best sound I have ever heard in my life.
Philip stayed at Berkeley. He’s in law school now and is interning with our uncle Cory at his firm. He’s already got his sights set on the next goal—becoming a family court judge.
He still talks to Zoe at least twice a week, and I can see the impact it has on him. He’s the same easygoing guy, but somehow, he feels lighter, like he lost a mask he was wearing that was weighing him down.
Being a Macalister changed a lot of things for me. Realizing I had a family that cared enough to try to find me for so long, that nothing short of me being dead made them stop, helped dissolve some of my insecurities. But getting professional help was the best thing I did for myself and for my family.
It was also what eventually prompted Phil to go talk to a therapist. To work out what he had learned about our mother and his conception, to accept that he wasn’t his father, and understand that her decisions didn’t reflect on him as a person.
A lesson I’m glad he’s learning earlier in life than I did.
Eventually, I told Zoe everything. She never pushed me to, and when I finally did, she didn’t run away like I always told myself she would. If anything she loved me even more.
“Babe, I’m jumping into the shower.” Zoe swings her feet over the side of the bed and stretches out.