by Skyler Snow
Lukas bit his lip and pushed his body against me. "Better bring your cuffs then, officer."
Fuck. I was definitely a sucker.
6
Reece
I grabbed my clothes and dried off in the bathroom. I tried to decide what to do with my wet boxers and finally hung them up in the shower. Once I was dressed again, I walked across the hall to the bedroom I'd been allowed to use. Aylah sat on the bed scrolling through her phone. When I walked inside she set it down and stood up. Her arms wrapped around me and for a minute I almost broke down.
"Are you okay?" She stood back. "What am I saying? Of course you're not okay."
I shook my head. "I'm alright, really." I closed the bedroom door and we both sat on the bed together. "As good as I can be."
She leaned down to peer at me since I was staring at the floor. "They still won't talk to you?"
I shook my head. "No. I charged my phone and Lukas gave me the Wi-Fi code. I tried to Facebook my mom, but she opened it and didn't say a word." My hands gripped the bed tightly. "I don't know what to do Aylah."
She laid her hand on top of mine. "I told you I would take care of you. You were one of the only people there for me when I was having the hardest time. I'd do anything to help you." She sighed. "Why haven't you told my uncles why you were kicked out?"
I shrugged. "I'm not ready to talk about it with anybody." I frowned. "If I don't talk about it I feel like it's not real."
"You should tell them." She chewed her lip. "Especially since you're going to be staying here."
"I'm sorry.” I moved my hand and threw it out. “What?"
She smiled sheepishly. "I asked my uncles if you could stay here until you get back on your feet."
"What?" I asked, just as dumbfounded as the first time.
"Pay attention." She snapped her fingers in front of my face. "My uncles are going to let you stay here until you can get things straightened out. You need a place you can stay."
I shook my head. "You told me I could stay with a friend of yours."
"These are my friends."
I glared at her. "Oh, you bitch."
Aylah burst out laughing. "That's so rude!"
I threw myself back on the bed. "I can't stay here. I'm going to feel like the biggest, most useless piece of shit ever. I can't go to school, I don't have a job—"
"You'll get a job and you can go back to school when you save some money. Maybe you can get some financial aid."
I glanced over at her. "You're so hopeful."
Aylah poked my arm. "You should be too. This is a new start for you." She ran a hand over my still wet hair. "Please, don't get too depressed and if you do you need to tell someone, I know how you can get."
I raised a brow at her. "I know how you can get too."
Aylah turned her head and I knew she understood. We both wore the same scars on our skin. It was one of the things we helped each other with when nobody else knew. Neither of us had self-harmed in a long time. It was the reason we'd gotten so close, and that secret had continued to let us grow closer and keep each other safe.
"Anyway," she changed the subject quickly. "They've agreed to let you stay. Here," she dug into her purse and pulled out a white envelope. "This is what I have for now. I'll try to get you some more soon."
I shook my head. "Please, don't. I can do it. I just need to go out and get a job. I'll start applying for some tonight." I fidgeted with my shorts and sat up. " I should thank them for letting me stay. I'm going to hate this."
"How could you possibly hate this? Look around you! This place is bigger than yours, you have your own pool and hot tub, two hot guys to stare at." She nudged me. “This is your paradise, buddy.”
I burst out laughing. "They are pretty hot. Carsen walking around with his shirt off may end up being a problem." I grinned. "Don't tell either of them I was staring. I don't want to be known as the asshole that pervs on a couple like some kind of homewrecker."
"Then don't run around in nothing but your boxers," she teased. Aylah stood up. "We're going to celebrate your freedom. We're going out tonight and hanging out with some friends."
"You mean your friends."
"My friends are your friends." She smiled. "You need a night to just have fun and cut loose."
I groaned and pushed myself up on my elbows. "I can’t even go to the bar yet!”
"No need to go to the bar when my friends have beer," she sang. "Just don't tell my uncles I'm a horrible influence on you."
I laughed and ran my finger over my lips. "I won't say a word."
"And tell them about why you’re here. Trust me, they'll understand. Look at them," she waved a hand around. "If anyone will get it they will."
I knew she was right, but it was something that I wanted to keep close to my chest. There was so much shame and guilt mixed up in what I felt. Seeing the two of them out and proud together, it made me jealous. I wanted that. No, I craved that. Even if I met the greatest guy alive, I had no idea if I would ever be able to have a relationship with a man.
"I'll think about it," I said as I glanced up at her. "That's all I can do."
She nodded. "I want you to be comfortable here, so do it when you want, okay? I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you."
I smiled at her. "I know you're not. You just want what's best for me." I reached out my arms and Aylah hugged me tightly. "Thank you for everything." My voice caught in my throat. "You're the only person that really gives a fuck."
"Hey." Aylah slowly pulled back and wiped her fingers on my wet cheeks. "That's not true. You have friends, you have this home for now. Things are going to be just fine."
God, I hoped so. I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. I was so tired of being strong. Everyone told me the same things. 'You can do it. You're strong. You can do anything.' I knew those things, but sometimes you were still tired at the end of the day and you just needed someone to take the stress off of your shoulders.
"I need a smoke." I opened my eyes and pulled my cigarettes out of my bag.
"Better smoke them outside because Carsen will pitch a fit." She stood up. "Let's go out front."
I nodded and snagged my lighter. We slipped through the house and out front. There were big, comfortable red chairs and we each settled into one. I slipped a cigarette between my teeth and lit it. The moment I breathed in and exhaled, my nerves calmed. I took another drag and choked on it as the door opened. Lukas looked between me and Aylah and I finally let the smoke out as it burned my lungs.
"Don't let Carsen see you smoking or he'll lecture you." Lukas took the cigarette from my lips and I was sure he was going to throw it away. I frowned. He pressed the smoke to his lips and inhaled. When he exhaled, he moaned. "That is so good."
"Uncle Lukas!" Aylah's mouth dropped open and she pointed at him. "I'm telling."
He glared at her, leaned down and put his nose inches from hers. "If you snitch on me, I'll tell Carsen how much weed you smoke." He grinned. "Let's just keep this between us." Aylah nodded, her eyes huge.
I shuddered. Okay, I did not know Lukas had that side to him. Aylah bristled as well and shook her head. Note to self, Lukas had a dangerous side. And it was hot.
"I keep forgetting how evil you are." She pointed at him. "Don't be fooled by the sweet smile. Everyone thinks he's so nice, but he's not. He and my mom are exactly alike."
"Evil?" I grinned. "I just can't believe that."
"You'd be surprised," she muttered.
Lukas returned my cigarette and blew smoke up into the air. "An author needs a vice. Just one little vice."
"You have like twelve!" Aylah slapped her leg. "You're the worst. I still love you though."
He grinned. "I love you too." Lukas glanced at me. "We're going to barbecue in a bit. Hungry?"
I smiled. "I'm always hungry."
"You'll fit right in here." He patted my head and I found myself nuzzling against his hand. I quickly moved back. Lukas raised a brow. I expected him to say
something, but he just smiled. "We'll get started soon. I have some swim trunks you can probably fit. They might be a bit loose on you, but I think they'll be okay."
"Thank you." I watched him turn to leave. "Lukas?" He turned on his heels and glanced at me. "I heard you two are letting me stay here. I really appreciate it."
Lukas' smile widened. "You're welcome, hon. Don't expect for the house rules lecture not to come. Carsen can be a pain in the ass." He grinned. "It's kind of why I love him."
I laughed as he disappeared back into the house. They were so sweet together. My stomach churned at the thought that I still wasn't sure if I could have something like that. I leaned back into my chair.
It still felt weird to be at someone else's house taking up their space and eating their food, but I liked Lukas and Carsen. I'd figured I would be holed up in some hotel room by myself day and night. The thought was lonely and unappetizing. At least now I would have some company. And they were both hilarious.
Aylah patted my leg. "Stop fantasizing about my uncles."
I stuttered over my words and finally spat them out. "I wasn't!"
"You totally were. You should have seen the way you looked at Lukas." She grinned deviously, and I could tell she and Lukas were related.
I rolled my eyes "Don't try to encourage things that only exist in your mind. You damn gayshipper."
We threw our heads back and laughed together. For just a minute the stress and worry melted away and I was a normal guy hanging out with my friend and having a good time. I knew that dark cloud was still on the horizon and when I was alone it would come back and try to drown me once more.
7
Lukas
My phone rang and I slapped my hand around the nightstand to find it. When my fingers connected with the screen, I snatched it up and pressed it against my ear. It took a minute to get rid of the morning fog before I answered.
"Yeah?"
"You're still in bed?" Carsen's voice sounded amused as it always did when I was still asleep.
"Yeah. It's too early to be awake."
Carsen laughed. "It's one in the afternoon."
I pulled the phone away from my ear and narrowed my eyes at the screen. I barely made out the numbers and saw he was right. Damn. It didn't feel like one to me at all. Then again, I'd been up until 6 a.m. writing. I forced myself to sit up and rubbed my face.
"I'm up."
Carsen chuckled. "I doubt that. You should get something to eat though, you always forget." He was quiet. "How's the kid?"
"Quiet." I yawned. "He's been hiding out in his room a lot. Whatever's going on with him, it’s concerning."
"You should check on him."
"Will do." I yawned and pulled the tangles out of my hair. "How's work?"
“Crazy as usual. I've been on so many calls already today." He sighed. "I swear Phoenix is going nuts."
"It's the heat." I climbed out of bed and stretched. Several things popped and I frowned at how old I was getting. "When are you going to be home?"
"Hopefully around six. I'm trying my best to be on time, but you know how that goes."
"I'll make you some dinner and put your plate away just in case. I love you."
"I love you too, butter bear."
"I hate that nickname." I narrowed my eyes. "Keep that shit up and you can suck your own dick tonight."
Carsen laughed so hard he had to catch his breath. I heard someone laughing right along with him.
"You're on speaker? Can you behave? Hi, Ryder!" I called to his partner. "Fine, I won't mention how I won't suck your dick if you're not nice to me."
He groaned. "Go take a shower and get to work."
"Yes, sir," I purred.
I practically heard Carsen bristle. Every once in a while it was so fun to push his buttons and watch him freak out. We said goodbye and hung up. I tossed my phone on the bed. We had an en-suite bathroom and I padded to it and relieved my bladder before I washed my hands.
Shower first or coffee? I contemplated what I wanted to do and then decided on coffee. I needed to wake up if I was going to do anything. I walked into the kitchen and started up the coffee maker before I turned to the hallway. I needed to check on Reece. I knocked on his door and heard a faint come in. When I opened the door and stepped inside, I gasped.
The room was a wreck. It had only been a week, but there were clothes strewn around, dishes with half-eaten food on them and the stench of smoke. I blinked at Reece wrapped up in the blanket. There was only one eye visible.
"What is all this?" I walked around and frowned. "Reece?"
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
I scratched my head. "I'm sorry doesn't explain what's going on. You can't leave this room like this!" I picked up a soda can and sniffed it. I gagged. "Are you smoking in here?"
"I opened the window..."
"You can still smell it!" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Sorry, I'm not trying to yell, but this is unacceptable, Reece. If Carsen comes home and finds this stuff..." I sniffed and open the nightstand. "And you've been smoking weed in here. He'll pitch a fit!"
Reece pushed himself up. His hair stuck out in odd angles all over his head. He rubbed it and bit into his lip as he gazed around the room as if he was really seeing it for the first time.
"I-I've just been so out of it."
My shoulders slumped. His bottom lip trembled and I saw the impending tears. I couldn't be so harsh when I knew that he was going through something. I sighed and started gathering up the dishes.
"It's okay. I'll take care of it."
Reece jumped up. "No, I'll do it. I feel awful."
I shook my head. “Stay in bed and rest. A few chores won't kill me before I get started working for the day."
I carried the dishes out, scraped them and put them into the dishwasher. I came back for laundry which went into the washer. Finally, I vacuumed, dusted and sanitized. The windows were left open to air out the smoke.
"No more smoking in here. Okay?"
Reece nodded hard. "Yes, no more smoking. I won't do it again."
I smiled at him. "It's okay. I'm making some coffee, do you want a cup? We can sit on the front porch and sneak a cigarette."
He smiled at me. "That sounds nice."
"Get showered and dressed. I'll do the same and I'll meet you in the kitchen."
I left Reece to get ready. After a quick shower and tugging on a pair of black shorts and my Star Trek t-shirt I was ready for the day. I walked into the kitchen and saw Reece, who was wearing a pair of maroon shorts and no shirt. He was pale and needed some serious sun, but there was something attractive about his smooth chest and porcelain skin.
"How do you like your coffee?" I asked as I turned to the fridge to find the creamer.
"Sweet with bourbon."
I raised a brow. "Well, I'm not giving you bourbon, but I can definitely do sweet." I took out the creamer, sugar, and whipped cream. "Here you go."
Reece fixed his coffee up the way he liked it and hummed happily when he sipped it. "This is great. Thank you."
"Of course. Let's go outside."
We settled onto the chairs outside and set our coffee on the little glass table between us. I'd taken to smoking at least one of Reece's cigarettes a day and while I knew Carsen would kill me if he found out, it kind of bonded us when we sat together and talked. We were quiet as we enjoyed our "morning" coffee together and looked around the quiet neighborhood with the mountains in the background.
"Have you been looking for any jobs?" I asked to break up the silence.
Reece nodded. "I've applied to a ton of places but I haven't heard anything yet."
I peered at him more closely. "Are you sure?"
Reece glanced in my direction and quickly looked away. He was hiding something and it was so obvious. I tilted my head at him.
"Don't lie to me."
Reece plucked at a random thread on his shorts. "I meant to put some applications in, but every time I start I just... giv
e up."
I sipped my coffee and glanced over at him. "Are you depressed?"
"No, it's nothing like that," he said quickly. "I think I might be a little under the weather. Aylah's going to come back today and take me out. I'll look for some jobs then." He gripped his coffee mug tightly. "I'm trying. Please don't throw me out."
I frowned. "I wasn't going to throw you out. Whatever you're going through I think you just need some time to figure things out." I reached behind my chair and found the can I'd hidden. I sat it on the table and tapped my cigarette ashes into it. "You still have some time."
Reece smiled. "Thank you. I know I keep saying that, but I never expect people to be kind to me."
I frowned. "Why not?"
He shrugged and stared out at the street. "I haven't had a very good life." Reece shoved his half smoked cigarette into the can and slammed the rest of his coffee. "Sorry, I don't feel so hot. I need to lie down."
I nodded. "Go ahead. I'll have some lunch done pretty soon."
Reece nodded and disappeared back into the house. I looked after him for a while and frowned to myself. He might say he wasn't depressed, but it was very apparent that he was. My heart ached for him. I longed to make it all better, hold him in my arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay.
8
Carsen
"Are you kidding me?"
Lukas glanced away with that guilty look on his face. I knew something was going on, but smelling the smoke that lingered on his clothes and fingers only confirmed it. I'd worked my ass off to get him to stop smoking and he'd picked it up all over again.
"Calm down," Lukas pushed his fingers through his hair. "It was just one cigarette."
I blinked at him. "It's that kid. You're picking up bad habits from him and you're the adult."
Lukas frowned. "You can sound like a real asshole sometimes, Carsen." He shoved past me into the bathroom where he'd been heading before I cut him off. "I only have one every once in a while and I was doing it before Reece came here."