Finding His Daddies

by Skyler Snow

  I stared up. That definitely wasn't Aylah. The man that stood in front of me frowned. I was used to that permanent look of disapproval that he currently wore on his age-lined face.

  "Reece."

  My mother peeked around the side of my father's body. She frowned, her teeth digging into her lip. So, she'd come too. Both of them stood there as if they expected something from me. What? Did they want me to run into their fucking arms?

  "What do you need?" The words came from my lips flat. "I'm kind of busy."

  My father narrowed his eyes. "Is that the way you speak to your father?" He glanced over my shoulder into the hall. I turned back and saw Lukas and Carsen, hovering. "Are these the young men you've been staying with?"

  Young men. I almost laughed, but since seeing them I had lost my sense of humor. Instead I shuffled from one foot to the other.

  "Yeah, they're letting me stay with them."

  "Carsen Malone," Carsen stepped forward and extended a hand politely, but his eyes burned.

  "I'm Lukas Kelly." Lukas' expression wasn’t any less steely. "Do you two want to come in? I could make a pot of coffee."

  "Emma and Dennis," my father introduced both of them. "A cup of coffee would be great."

  They walked inside and I closed the door behind them. No, I didn't want this. They were intruding on a personal space, one that made me happy and kept me safe. Neither of them deserved to be there if they were going to strip it all away.

  "Reece." When we made it to the living room Carsen turned to me. "Go help Lukas with the coffee. I'm sure he'll need some extra hands."

  He smiled softly at me and my heart throbbed. My Carsen. My boyfriend. My Daddy. He was always looking out for me. I was thankful for the escape route. I nodded and quickly made my way to the kitchen. I barely made it inside before Lukas wrapped me up in his arms.

  "It's okay," he soothed me right away and planted kisses on my face and shoulders and palms. "What do you want us to do?"

  I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

  "Do you want the chance to talk to them?" Lukas pulled down mugs and quickly filled them with coffee. "Or do you want us to tell them to leave? It's completely up to you."

  It was up to me. No one had ever let me decide what to do when it came to important decisions in my life, not like this. Certainly my parents hadn't.

  I rubbed my arm awkwardly. "I don't know what I want. One part of me is so pissed that they're here and intruding on my home. Another part is happy that they've come this far to meet and talk to me." I shook my head. "I'm so confused," I whispered and hugged myself tighter.

  "Let's take things slow." Lukas kissed me softly. "If they start to act up they can go home."

  I nodded in agreement. "Okay, let's do it then."

  We carried the mugs back out to the living room and set them on the table. Lukas sat beside Carsen. Their hands brushed together and I wondered if they were going to hold hands. I sucked in a breath until they both picked up their coffee mugs and sipped.

  "So, why are you guys here?" I stared at the two of them.

  "We missed you," my mother blurted out. "And you disappeared." Her hands gripped the mug until her knuckles went white.

  "How did you know where I was?"

  My father pushed his coffee mug aside. "We contacted several of your online friends. When they hadn't heard from you either they were happy to tell us where you were staying."

  I frowned. Shit. I should have told my friends where I was so they wouldn't worry, and I should have told them not to talk to my parents no matter what. Most of them had no idea what I'd gone through with them because I wasn't ready to talk about it.

  "Oh," I sat my coffee mug down. "I thought you guys didn't want to talk to me."

  Their eyes darted around the room as if they didn't want me to admit that. I didn't care about their shame. They were the ones that liked making me feel like shit.

  "Well we came to bring you home," my mom glanced at my dad and looked back at me. "Your brother and sister miss you. They want you to come back home."

  My voice caught in my throat. "I don't know if that's a good idea." I glanced at Carsen and Lukas. "I like it here. I'm about to get ready to enroll in school and get my life together."

  They both frowned. My heart pounded in my chest. I knew that familiar expression on their faces. They did not approve.

  "Reece, can I speak to you for a minute?" My mother smiled softly.

  Panic set in immediately. If I left the safety and security of the couch I would be at her mercy. Who knew if I was strong enough to resist her soft voice and pleading eyes? I toyed with my shirt before I made up my mind and nodded.

  We walked out of the living room and I felt every set of eyes on us as we went. The door squeaked when I opened it and we stepped out onto the front porch. I waved a hand to the two seats waiting and sat down in one of them before she sat in another.

  The tension was so thick I could choke on it. I stared down at my pants as if the pattern was infinitely interesting. The feeling of dread in my belly only grew.

  "What did you want to talk about?" I blurted when I couldn't hold back anymore.

  "Your father and I want you to come home," she said quietly. My mother glanced at the front door. "Are you with one of them?"

  I shook my head. "No."

  It wasn't a complete lie. I wasn't with one of them, I was with both of them. How the hell could I tell my mom that? She almost passed out when she found out I was gay.

  "You can tell me the truth, Reece." She laid a hand on my arm. "I want to know what's going on with you. You've been so different lately."

  I jumped up out of my seat. "I'm not different! I'm the same as I've always been, but you guys just won't acknowledge it."

  Her eyes widened and my father snapped. "Don't talk to your mother that way." I turned on my heels until I was face to face with my father. "She's worried about you. That's why we're here."

  I scoffed. "Yeah, after you stalked me and found out where I was living. I never should have given anyone my address."

  My father's hand shot out before I could blink. He gripped my cheeks and pinched them hard between his calloused fingers. Instinctively I reached up and wrapped my hand around his wrist.

  "You're being disrespectful. Look at your mother. Look at her!" He yanked my head until I was forced to look at my mom crying softly, her shoulders shaking. "You've done this. She's like this all the fucking time now and it's your fault."

  I shook my head. "It's not my fault."

  "If you weren't off being a little faggot she wouldn't be so heartbroken. All she's been doing is crying because of you."

  God, I wanted to punch him in the face. Or cry. Or hide.

  I'd never felt the urge to hit my father, just fear and anxiety. However, he was full of shit. The only reason he'd come was because my mom was getting on his nerves. I could see it written all over his face. I’d broken her, I needed to fix her.

  "Take your hands off of me," I muttered from between gritted teeth.

  "Who the fuck—"

  "You heard him," Carsen's voice rumbled. When I glanced at him he stood there, massive arms folded over his beefy chest. "Take your fucking hands off of him."

  "No offense, but this is between me and my son."

  "Is it?" Carsen stepped forward. "Do you know my name is Officer Carsen Malone?" He glared at my father. "Right now you're assaulting him so I suggest you let him go. Now."

  My father released me and took a step back. I guess he wasn't expecting my amazing boyfriend to be a police officer. Good, I could live off of that idiotic look on his face for a year. He'd been caught and he couldn't pretend to be nice anymore.

  "Reece." My mother took my hand in hers. "Please, you need to come home. I don't know what you have going on here, but you have to remember your brother and sister. Me. Your father. We all want you back."

  Yeah, I was sure my asshole dad wanted me back. When I was around I was the family scapegoat. I was t
he one that took the brunt of his screaming and insane tirades. I was done with it, once and for all.

  I shook my head. "I'm not going back, mom. You don't accept who I am."

  "This isn't you! This is just... too much TV, the wrong type of people, something." She shook her head. "I refuse to accept this."

  My eyes watered. "That's the problem, Mom." I choked back a sob and released her hands before I wrapped my arms around myself. "Maybe one day you'll be able to love me for who I am, but I don't think that will come anytime soon. Do you?" When she was silent, I nodded. "I'm an adult. I want you both to leave."

  "You're kidding." My father snorted. His eyes went over Carsen and Lukas. "Living in sin with some random guy is more important than your family?"

  "Look," Carsen growled. "I'm really fucking sick and tired—"

  I held up a hand and Carsen went quiet. "I'm not living in sin with one of them." I smirked. "I'm living in sin with both of them and it is fucking amazing." I took a step closer to my father and glared. "And they're more of a family to me than you ever were. I want you to go now. Or I'll have Carsen arrest you and throw your ass in jail.” I pointed to my mouth. “Read my lips, Dad. I'm. Done."

  My father glared at me. "You're breaking your mother's heart you know that? If something happens to her, it's on you."

  "What a vile thing to say," Lukas spat.

  My mother frowned, but she kept her lips pressed together. When she was close to my father he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they descended the stairs. My body slumped.

  Yeah, my mother didn't lay it on as thick as my father or completely berate me, but it was time for me to realize that she was just as bad as he was. She didn't stick up for me or protect me. All my mother did was lower her head and walk away from her son.

  I watched them climb into their shitty little rental car and take off. Just like that they were out of my life. My emotions twisted in my gut. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that I would probably never see them again?

  All of the strength I'd had left my body at once. My knees buckled. Strong arms wrapped around my body and a second pair joined them. I was sandwiched between Carsen and Lukas, safe and sound in their grip.

  I didn't know what pushed me past my breaking point. Whether it was the hate from my father, the apathy from my mother or my partners’ love and adoration. I simply... burst.

  A sob tore through my body. It hurt. Every cell in my body was on fire and I wanted to scream.

  28

  Carsen

  I ran my hand over Reece's back. He was still asleep, wrapped up in thick blankets. Sweat covered his forehead. The entire night he'd tossed and turned, muttering in his sleep and kicking off the blankets. When he wasn't struggling, he was awake. At times he was numb and quiet, others he was a crying mess.

  Finally, he'd drifted off in the early morning hours and stayed asleep. Lukas had made him a cup of tea and given him some melatonin. Apparently that had done the trick. I ruffled my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek.

  "How's he doing?" Lukas asked quietly as he peeked into the doorway.

  "Sleeping at least." I pulled the blanket up and tucked him in gently.

  I walked out of the room and pulled the bedroom door closed behind me. Lukas wrapped an arm around my waist, then we wandered to the kitchen and he released me long enough to pour me a cup of coffee.

  "You haven't slept so well either," he pointed out.

  "I know." I ran a hand over my face. "I'm worried about him." I drank from the mug slowly before I set it back down on the table. "It's been days, Lukas, and he's not getting any better. He won't even go talk to his psychologist."

  Lukas frowned. "Maybe today he'll want to make an appointment."

  "I doubt it," I mumbled. "He's going through something that you've never had to deal with before, Lukas. You've always been accepted for who you are."

  Lukas slammed his mug down. "Don't make it like my life is so easy and cushy that I don't understand other people’s problems."

  "I-I didn't mean it like that." Lukas glared at the table and refused to look at me. I sighed. My hand covered his. "Lukas, I'm sorry."

  He slouched and glanced up at me. Lukas' eyes were forlorn and he looked like he was going to cry. I was up in an instant. I rounded the table and wrapped my arms around him.

  "Don't cry." I kissed his shoulder.

  "Sorry," he shook his head and reached up to hold onto my arms. "It's just been so stressful around here lately that it's putting me on edge. Sorry I snapped at you."

  "Shhh," I buried my face in the back of his neck. "Don't be sorry. I know it's been tough on everybody."

  "Yeah." Lukas shook his head, his words whispered as he gripped my arms tighter. "What are we going to do? Everything was going so well, and now it just feels like it's gone off the tracks." He sighed. "Reece was so happy."

  I wasn't sure what to do either. It had been years since I had to deal with my parents. When I was Reece's age, it was hard. Really hard. Now that I was older I had no idea how I would react if my parents barged in and treated me like shit.

  "I'm fine." Our heads snapped in the direction of the doorway at the same time. Reece rubbed his eyes and still clutched a pillow to his chest. "You two can stop whispering about me now."

  "Oh, hon, we weren't whispering about you. Not like that." Lukas was out of his seat and across the room to Reece in no time at all. He pulled Reece against his body. "Are you sure you want to be up yet? Maybe you should get some more sleep."

  Reece shook his head. "No, I'm tired of sleeping." He pulled out a chair and sat across from me. "Hi."

  "Hey," I reached over and fixed his wild, dark hair. "What do you want to do today?"

  He glanced at me and shrugged. "I don't know."

  Lukas leaned against the counter. "Maybe you should set up an appointment-"

  "No." Reece shook his head. "I don't want to. Not right now."

  "That's okay," I said quickly. "I'm sure when you're ready we can set one up for you, right?"

  Reece nodded. Lukas looked away from me and grabbed his coffee mug off the table sharply. It clinked against the counter hard before he poured more steaming hot coffee inside of it.

  I needed to get my guys the hell out of the house. Both of them were in such horrible moods. Reece was still raw and Lukas? I knew what he was feeling. Helpless. He hated not being able to help people. It put him on edge and he didn't handle being on edge well.

  "Let's go out." I put my coffee cup down. "There's new movies out. I know how much you like movies, Reece."

  Reece shrugged. "Sometimes. What's out?"

  "How about you check and pick one out?" I passed him my phone.

  "Are you sure?" He touched my phone gingerly and then looked up at me. "I don't know..."

  "Hey, it's up to you." I pushed some of his hair from his face. "I'm going to tell you something though. You have two options, baby. You can either wallow in your misery and keep dwelling on what happened or you can try to enjoy your life." I cupped his cheek in my palm. "You don't deserve to be unhappy."

  Reece bit his lip. "I know." He squeezed his pillow tighter. "I'm just..." He shook his head. "No, no you're right I need to snap out of it. I'm not going to let them keep hurting me even when they're gone." He pushed up from the table. "I'll figure out a movie and take a shower."

  "Atta boy," I smiled at him. "We'll be ready."

  The smile on Reece's lips grew. It was still faint, but hey, at least it was there. It made my heart feel so much lighter just seeing a sign of his beautiful smile.

  Reece ran over and hugged Lukas quickly before he left the room. Well, that was a start. I turned to Lukas who was still quiet and focusing on his coffee mug but he hadn't lifted it for a while. I walked over and put an arm around his waist.

  "What's wrong?" I whispered against his ear.

  "Nothing." He sat the mug down. "Maybe you two should go. I'm not feeling great."

  Lukas tried to walk aw
ay, but I wasn't about to let that happen. Instead I pulled him back and held him against my body. At first he tried to tug away, but then he stilled in my arms.

  "What's the matter?" I whispered. "This is about more than what happened. What's got you in such a foul mood?"

  He shook his head. "Nothing. It's stupid."

  "Tell me." I tightened my grip.

  "It's just that you two really understand each other." He reached out and held onto me. "I'm feeling like a useless third wheel." He slowly looked up at me. "I know I'm being stupid."

  "Hey, hey, no." I shook my head and frowned. "You're allowed to have emotions about shit, Lukas. Okay? And you're allowed to feel... everything you're feeling." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm fucking horrible with words, aren't I?"

  "Actually, no," he said quietly. "Just hearing you say that to me, that I'm allowed to feel what I feel, I don't know." He shrugged lightly. "It helps."

  "Does it?" I frowned. "I don't feel like I've done anything. And I definitely don't want you to feel as if you're a third wheel. This is new, for all of us. I think it's just going to take some time to fully figure our relationship out now that it's... changed, we all have to evolve, and that takes a beat."

  Lukas sighed softly. "Evolve. I like that word." He reached up and trailed his fingers down my back. "I feel a little better now." Lukas laid a hand on my chest. "I should get some actual clothes on so we can go to the movies."

  I released him and smiled softly. "You want to go now?"

  "I'd do anything for you two." He kissed me, a light peck on the lips that brought me comfort. "Come on. We should find out what Reece found."

  Reece had finally decided on a movie. Some obscure ghost thing that was definitely going to give him nightmares, but hey, he had Lukas and me.

  The movie theater wasn't too packed since it was the middle of the week. I was so glad I'd convinced one of my co-workers to trade shifts with me so I could spend time with my boyfriends.

  "Did you get popcorn?" Reece popped up in his seat happily.

  "Extra butter," I handed the giant tub over to him. "And nachos for Lukas."