by Terry Keys
“A kid like him? What does that mean?”
He put a hand on her shoulder. “Calm down and just listen to me. That didn’t come out how I intended.”
“No. I don’t need to calm down. Blaze has never hurt anyone. I think you need to leave now.”
“Really, Steph? Would you just hear me out?”
“On this? No, I won’t. I’ll call you later, or maybe I won’t.”
“Steph?”
“I’ve got a hair appointment that I’m going to be late for.”
He knew that saying what he had about Blaze could go south and it had. But it needed to be said. Hunter climbed out of the car and watched as Steph sped off across the parking lot.
Steph felt bad about just leaving like that. But he had some nerve calling Blaze dangerous of all things. He was a hurting, angry boy sure, but he’d never hurt anyone.
She thumbed through the business cards in her purse and dialed Dr. Smryl’s cell phone.
“Hello, this is Karyn Smryl,” the doctor said answering her cell.
“Hello and I apologize. This is Steph – Blaze-”
“Ahh, to what do I owe the call? Is everything okay?”
“Oh of course. Everything’s fine. It’s Saturday and I know it’s unexpected, but I really would like to hear what you have to say about something.”
She really didn’t want to hear what she had to say, but maybe she had been irrational with Hunter.
“Okay. I’m all ears.”
“Blaze obviously is going through a lot right now and he spends a lot of time you know shooting-”
“I’m going to cut you off right there. Are you asking my professional opinion on Blaze’s mental state? And if you should be concerned about him harming someone? I just want to be clear on what I’m answering.”
Steph hesitated. “Yes. I think that’s what I’m asking.”
“Personally, I think he’s very angry and that maybe he should take a break from the hobby for a while. I know he has the little rift at school, but I think something else has triggered his behavior. Maybe the divorce, maybe something else – but something. I don’t know him well enough to know if he’d hurt someone or himself. But from what I saw the other day… like I said, he is very angry.”
“Blaze has never even been in a fight.”
“Honestly that may be worse. It means he has a lot of pent up emotions. Maybe one day he’ll get tired of being everyone’s punching bag. Everyone has a breaking point.”
“Well how would I know if he was planning to – I don’t know – hurt someone? Or himself?”
“Has he ever talked about suicide or simply being gone and no longer feeling anything? I didn’t want to push too hard during our first session.”
Steph giggled nervously. “Not to me. No. That’s silly. Blaze is full of life.”
“No, it’s not silly. It’s what I see. We just need to keep a really close eye on him. Pay attention to changes in his routine. Be nosy. Log into his computer, check his cell phone. It’s your job to be nosy.”
“What about his privacy? He’s seventeen.”
“His privacy would be the least of my concern right now. Trust me.”
“I don’t have the passwords to his phone or laptop. That conversation should be fun. Could you imagine?”
“I can tell you it won’t be fun. But this warrants it. His behavior warrants it. It’s your job to be nosy. Good parents are. Dig in and find out where he’s at and what he’s doing. What websites is he going to? Dig in and make your expectations known. It won’t be easy and he’ll fight you on it. I’ve counseled a lot of parents that have lost kids to suicides and they all wished they’d been more in their kids’ business. Like I said, it’s your job. If you won’t, who will? I have an appointment in five, so I have to run. Call me anytime you need to talk more.”
“Okay, I will. Thanks… I think.”
Dr. Smryl paused for a moment. She knew what she needed to say next, but it was never easy.
She swallowed hard. “Steph, I can tell you what won’t be fun. And that is burying your son because he took his own life.”
Steph cringed at those words, but said nothing.
“Have you considered trying out any medication for Blaze? There are great medicines out there we can try. It can’t hurt?”
“What? No. Blaze doesn’t need to be zombie’d or pilled out. No thank you. And medication for what exactly?”
“This isn’t the twenties or the thirties anymore. Medications are much improved. And if he doesn’t like the way one makes him feel well, we can try something different. I don’t like to make diagnoses so quickly but I’m afraid Blaze is in dire need of help. I know doubt believe he is suffering from depression.”
Steph shook her head, “Depression? Blaze isn’t depressed. Maybe he’s a little angry okay. And no thank you to medication. He’d never go for it anyway.”
She wanted to press but didn’t want to dig in to hard either.
“Depression can be complicated and hard to diagnose. It can be a scary thing but we have to be honest with ourselves here.”
“Yeah well I know my son. Like I said he’s mad about the divorce and all I get it.”
“Okay well I have to run. Call me if you need to.” She was shocked that Steph couldn’t see or didn’t want to see how serious this was.
The phone disconnected and Steph stared at it. She’d been so laid back with Blaze that trying to reverse that now seemed impossible.
What was everyone seeing that she wasn’t? What would she do if he refused to give her his passwords?
Chapter 11
Blaze took a deep breathe, slowly exhaled and squeezed the trigger.
Mark looked through the spotter’s binoculars. “Bull’s-eye – dead center. Good shit, bro.”
Blaze put his AR-15 on safety. “One shot. One kill. I know it’s a bullseye, Mark. I mean I’m actually good unlike-”
“Screw you, Blaze,” he said laughing.
“How are you so terrible at this? Mr. Fortnite King?”
“I’ll kick your ass in Fortnite. You know that.”
“It’s a video game. I’d rather be good at shooting, yah know, in real life?”
“Life, smife. You keep the real stuff and I’ll keep being the best player in the school. Hell, probably in the county at Fortnite. I’ll go out on a limb and say I’m the best player in the Houston area. Speaking of, have you been practicing? Tournament is tomorrow.”
“I played some last night and some GTA. I’ll be ready.”
“GTA? One does not have time to be sidetracked. We need to win that tournament. I could really use the dough. My dad’s still only working part time gigs here and there bro.”
“I got your back bro. I’m going to tune up tonight after band practice. I’ll be ready.”
“Good. Be nice to have the bragging rights too. You know half the school is going to be there.”
Blaze flipped the safety off his weapon and aimed it. He fired five rounds in rapid succession.
Mark looked down the range and smiled in amazement.
“All within an inch of the bull’s-eye.”
Blaze smiled. “Like I said, I’ll be ready.”
“We’ve got about thirty minutes before we practice and I’m hungry. Let’s get the hell outta here. Put your toys away.”
“You’re always hungry,” Blaze said.
He disassembled his AR-15 and his AK-47 and put them neatly into their rifle cases.
“You ever thought about getting in shooting competitions?” Mark asked.
“No. I shoot for self-defense. Not to win someone’s damn ribbon.”
Mark laughed. “Really, self-defense? This is Kilwade, fool. When’s the last time someone’s been robbed here?”
“Self-defense from the government, you idiot. Or if we get invaded or something.”
“Blaze. They have tanks, genius,” Mark said, slapping his NRA cap off. “Your little toys won’t put a scratch on a tank.”
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Blaze didn’t have a comeback for that, so he just left it alone.
“Anyways - I’ve watched some of those competitions on T.V. and you’re just as good as those guys. Pays more than your gig at Academy.”
“I like my gig at Academy. I sell and talk about guns all day.”
“So if you like them so much try getting paid to shoot them.”
They grabbed a quick bite and headed for Mark’s garage.
When they pulled up, Zane and Flex were already there.
They all exchanged high fives and walked inside the garage.
Flex started setting up his drum set while Zane worked on tuning his electric guitar.
“Let me go inside and grab my bass,” Mark said.
Blaze double-checked his guitar and began inspecting his microphone and speakers.
“Mic check one, one – Mic check one, two,” Blaze spoke into the mic.
They spent the next fifteen minutes performing sound checks.
Finally, Blaze put his hand in the air. “You boys ready?”
The group nodded and they played through their song, Lonely.
After they finished Flex said, “It’s almost like we never stopped playing.”
A car pulled into the driveway. Seconds later Nikki climbed out with Pam.
“Looks like your best friend is here, Blaze,” Mark said, referring to Pam.
“Ha,” Blaze scoffed. “Gimme a sec, boys,” Blaze said and walked over to kiss Nikki as they walked up.
“So, you’re not mad at me anymore?” Nikki asked coyly.
“I guess not,” he said smiling. “Should I be?”
“No,” she said nervously. “I brought Pam so she can see just how good you guys really are.”
“Thrilled,” Pam said sarcastically.
Blaze walked back inside the garage and smiled. “Got a few guests, fellas. Let’s melt their freakin’ faces off. Run it back.”
Blaze caught Pam laughing. He knew it wouldn’t be long before she was eating her words. He winked at her and she frowned.
After they finished Nikki clapped. “Damn, you guys are too good to not be doing gigs. Seriously. I told you, Pam!”
“Yeah, you guys are pretty good,” Pam said not even hesitating.
Blaze walked over to Pam. “Hey, if you’re going to talk shit, at least admit when you’re wrong. Pretty good?”
Nikki laughed. “I tried to tell you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, you guys are strong. Who taught you how to scream like that? Your voice is really good. I’m really surprised. Maybe you aren’t a geek after all.”
“I will take the backhanded compliment. Thank you. Was that so hard? And no one taught me. Paint your fingernails black like mine and then voila - you’re a screamer.”
“If only it were that easy,” Pam replied.
They played a few more original songs before playing through a few radio hits.
“Okay ladies, we’re about to work on a new song. We don’t allow guests when we work on new material – band rules.”
“It’s okay. We’re going to get our nails done. C’mon Pam.” Nikki went over and kissed Blaze and then they walked out of the garage. When they got around the corner, Pam stopped Nikki.
“Hey, let’s listen to some of this.”
“No. You heard them say no one could listen, right?”
“Who cares about their silly little band rules?”
“This is stupid – I mean what if one of them comes out here?”
“Quit being a chicken. Where’s the adventurous girl from last night? The one that was kissing Tre?”
Nikki pushed her. “You shut up. Don’t ever bring that shit up again. It was a mistake. A stupid, drunken mistake.”
Pam stepped back. “Okay, okay. Chill girl. Five minutes?”
Nikki hesitantly agreed.
Blaze played through the chord progression for the new song and gave Flex the drum progression as he heard it.
“Fair warning - I haven’t played this for anyone yet,” Blaze said.
Zane and Mark set their guitars in their stands and turned to Blaze.
“Alright, let’s hear it,” Zane said.
“Okay it’s called Tear Me Down.” Blaze begin singing.
“I just try to stay to myself.
Never try to screw nobody else.
But you won’t leave me alone.
Now I’m fighting on my own.
All you do is try to tear me down.
A million tears I’ve cried.
I swear I’ll haunt you when I die.
All you do is try to tear me down.
I wanna watch your body bleed.
When I go you’ll come with me.
Cuz all you do is try to tear me down.”
“Damn, Blaze. That shit is straight fire,” Zane said giving him a high five. “Where the hell did that come from, bro?”
“Bro, that shit right there is lit and with the chords you dropped in on it. We need to record that tonight,” Flex said shaking his head.
“Thanks. I wrote it a few weeks ago. Been tweaking the words here and there. That’s the chorus.”
“Deep lyrics, bro. You not going postal on me, right?” Mark asked.
They all laughed. Everyone except Blaze, who just grinned. The words meant a lot to him. The words reflected how he felt. The song allowed him to paint a picture that he couldn’t on his own.
“You’re still growing as a song writer bro
– that’s good shit. Let us hear the rest of it,” Zane said.
Nikki looked over and noticed that Pam was recording. “Give me that,” she said reaching for her cell.
Pam yanked it back and saved the recording. “I’m not going to do anything with it. It’s just for me. He’s really good. You should be proud.”
“I am proud of him, but he’d kill us both if he knew you recorded that. You better not share it anywhere. Got it?”
“I won’t. Dark song though, huh?”
“Yeah well, Blaze is a deep guy. There’s a lot more to him than anyone knows.”
“You think he means any of that?”
“Means any of what?”
“You know the lyrics… Watching people bleed blah, blah.”
“What? No. It’s a song Pam.”
“Alll-right.”
“Let’s get outta here.”
Chapter 12
Nikki took one last hit of the joint that she’d gotten from Mark. Then she looked for the air freshener that he’d given her. She laughed at herself remembering back to the freshener that she’d bought. It had been terrible and worst of all it hadn’t worked when she used it. Her parents knew almost the second she walked through the door that night.
It was the first night her dad had finally come out and said how he really felt about Blaze. Something that Nikki still hadn’t gotten over. How dare he judge Blaze, the man was far from perfect himself. And he didn’t even know him. Only judging him based off of his appearance which she didn’t understand either. Blaze had always dressed nice around her parents. He wasn’t a stoner – he smoked sometimes just like she did.
Nikki closed her car door and walked into the house. She didn’t expect either parent for a few hours. Which was fine by her. The classes that she’d elected to take this year were much harder. And that meant a lot more time doing homework.
She grabbed a bag of Doritos and jetted upstairs to her room. The bed and room were a mess just how she liked it. She smiled. Her parents hated it. She flopped onto the bed and yanked open the giant bag of chips.
She thumbed through her phone. There wasn’t much going on Twitter and Snapchat was pretty lame at the moment too. She tossed the Iphone aside and dug her homework out of her bag. Who does homework on a Saturday? Why not, she second guessed herself? She wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while.
Her phone dinged. She rolled over and picked it up – Tre. A smile flashed on her face. It quickly turned into a half-smile then no smile at all. Wh
at the hell was she doing entertaining him? Blaze had been good to her. He’d changed over the past few months for sure, but if she wanted out she needed to do it the right way. Not like this. And she wasn’t sure that she wanted out anyway. Bailing on Blaze now when he needed her most wasn’t cool. She left his message unread and didn’t access it. Instead she tossed the phone back onto the bed.
An hour later she heard the front door open. Her mom had an event at work that she couldn’t miss. Nikki was glad that she’d talked herself out of going.
Her phone rang and she answered it without looking to see who it was.
“What are we doing tonight?” It was Pam.
“You and your short term memory.”
“What? Oh yeah – your dad. Shit girl.”
”Yup.”
“Just sneak out?”
“What happened the last time I snuck out Pam?”
“Hmmm… Let’s see you and Blaze got busted?”
“Very good Pam.”
“And? Maybe this time you won’t get caught?”
“No. Thanks. And I got grounded for a month. And now my dad hates Blaze.”
“Pfft he already hated Blaze. Everyone hates Blaze. Well everyone but you.”
“Whatever. He didn’t hate him before. He just didn’t like him. There’s a difference.”
“I guess.”
“And everyone doesn’t hate him. I like him just fine. And you have to start being nice to him – seriously.”
“Oh my God girl I try sooo hard.”
“No you don’t Pam. You hardly try at all. You’re going to make me find a new best friend.”
“You go right ahead. See how easy it will be to replace me whore bag.”
They both laughed.
“His band is good though. And he has a great voice. Maybe they make it big and he gets rich. Then maybe I’ll like him.”
Nikki rolled her eyes, “Sounds like something you would say Pam.”
“I ain’t sayin she a gold digger-…”
“I have a lot of homework to do. I gotta run.”
“Wait – what? It’s Saturday? Do it tomorrow.”
“Can’t. Got Church tomorrow, then a family outing or something.”
“Lame.”
“Bye Pam.”