“The more nuanced answer is that when I met Jenn, she was everything I thought I wanted. She was smart, driven, real partner material. She made me be better. It didn’t hurt that she was also gorgeous. If I could’ve written a list of what I was looking for when I was ready to settle down, she’d have ticked every box.”
That sounded familiar. Very familiar.
“She also was like a spotlight on all my failures. Places where I didn’t live up to her expectations or mine. I didn’t know how to deal with that.”
Zuri wanted to ask him if he was still a child, because while it sucked to be unable to live up to expectations, it was either take the loss or do better. She didn’t understand why people had such a hard time with that.
“Okay, you’re still listening.” He nodded. “Then I met you. You were nothing like Jenn.”
Zuri arched a brow. He’d just called Jenn all sorts of good things, and then proceeded to declare her nothing like her. It was hard not to see that as an insult. She was driven and determined, too. Just about different things.
Then she reminded herself she wasn’t in any kind of contest with the other woman.
“What I meant to say is, where she made me feel inadequate, you just accepted me for who I was. You didn’t ask me for more time than I had to give you, or for me to be interested in your wedding stuff, and you showed passing interest in my job, but not so much I had to break down every bit of information and spoon-feed it to you. It was easy. Spending time with you was fun because you didn’t ask me to be something I wasn’t.”
It occurred to Zuri just how much Phillip liked “wedding stuff.” He was as into it as she was.
She realized that while she hadn’t asked Alec to be something he wasn’t, she had asked that of herself. She’d tamped down her enthusiasm for her job while she was with him. She’d created this little cocoon where it was mostly about the sex.
Compared to what she’d shared with Phillip, even the sex had been lukewarm and the experiences they’d shared had been tailored for the person she’d tried to be, not the person she was.
It was like getting hit in the face with a grapefruit when the epiphany struck her.
“I see,” she said.
“I want that, Zuri. I want to be with you. I know I should’ve called off the wedding to Jenn, but it had already gone so far. She still fit me so well on paper, I just couldn’t figure out how to untangle myself.”
She looked at him for a long moment. “Is there anything else you’d like to say?”
“Only that I love you and I’m going to prove it to you. I know I’ve been a little aggro, but I see now I need to give you some space. Time to process. I can do that.”
“I know that you think I just need time to process, time to be angry and that when you think I’ve cooled down, I’ll remember what a good catch you are. I’ll remember how you ticked off boxes on my list, too.”
“But you think that you won’t?” he said this in a calm, even tone.
“I know that I won’t. You said that you love me, but Alec, you don’t know me.”
“I know that your coffee of choice is a blond mocha with heavy cream, I know that planning weddings is your passion, I know that you hate it when your socks get wet, and I know that I can make you orgasm twice before breakfast.”
“I made myself smaller for you, Alec. I acted like it was okay that you weren’t as excited about my job as I was, I acted like it didn’t matter that you didn’t have the same amount of time for me that I had for you, and I acted like two orgasms before breakfast was enough.”
His mouth dropped open but then snapped shut. “We can work on that. I want to know the real you. I’ll try to care about weddings and stuff. Although, I think it’s really not a thing that most men are into, but I’ll give it a try if you let me.”
“Phillip likes planning weddings.”
“Trust me, he’s faking to get into your pants.” He held up his hand. “I know it sounds harsh, and I’m not trying to be cruel, but it’s a fact.”
“You don’t know Phillip.”
“I know men, because I am one. Trust me.” He took a sip of his coffee.
“That’s the last thing I would do, Alec.”
“I’m trying to be honest with you. Something that this Phillip obviously isn’t doing.”
She was reminded that it was something he was doing. Even when there’d been roadblocks to what he could reveal to her, Phillip had been as open as he could be the whole time she’d known him. Even when it had come down to baring his mistakes, mistakes he thought would make her see him differently. Mistakes he thought would be the end of the spark that had sizzled between them.
“You don’t know him, anyway,” Alec continued. “You’ve painted him up like some knight in shining armor, and he’s obviously been only too happy to let you. You’re letting the kitsch of this place soak into your otherwise brilliant brain. Why don’t you come back with me to Chicago and we’ll give this a real shot? Complete honesty. Complete realism. See where it takes us, yeah?”
For a moment, her imagination wanted to consider what a future would look like. If only so she had a clearer picture of what she didn’t want.
She could see herself withering away with him. Everything she was, everything she wanted melting into the background until her entire being was about him. Then as soon as it was, when he’d sucked the life out of her, he’d get bored and he’d start working late, and have so many conferences he had to go to, and she’d spend her nights crying into her pillow wondering why she wasn’t enough.
Not only that, but if Zeva knew what she was thinking in this moment, even just for a glimpse, and she very well might’ve, her sister would smack the thought right out of the back of her head.
As she well should.
Then Zuri imagined what it would be like with Phillip.
How they’d be working long days, but together. How he shared her passion for giving people their dreams. How he really saw her. How he wanted her to shine as brightly as she could, for as long as she could.
She was reminded of how she could depend on him.
That he was trustworthy.
Honorable.
The way he’d agreed to host the children at the castle for Zeva.
The way he’d touched her.
That was the future she wanted.
“No.”
Alec paused and put down his fork. “Why no? Everything here in Ever After isn’t real. Not when you shine the harsh light of everyday life on it. I thought you were more pragmatic than that.”
“Your views of the world are miserable, Alec. A life with you, for me, would be miserable. I love Ever After. My everyday life here is wonderful. It’s magical in ways I can’t even begin to explain to you because you wouldn’t understand and you wouldn’t believe it.”
“Fine. Then I’ll stay here, too. Would that convince you? They don’t have a doctor. I’ll go into private practice.”
“I don’t want you to stay here, Alec. I don’t love you.”
He looked stricken. “Isn’t that a little hasty? I thought you were close to saying it before the wedding.”
“No, I wasn’t. I’d painted some pretty pictures of what I thought would happen, but I wasn’t in love. You don’t love me, either. You just don’t like being told no.”
“No one likes being told no.”
She took another bite of her waffle. “And don’t tell women what to eat. We can choose for ourselves what we put in our mouths.”
“I was just trying to take care of your health.”
“Save it for your patients. I’m a grown woman who doesn’t need your opinion on my health or what I eat.”
“Okay.” He held up his hands in surrender. “You really are different from the woman I knew in Chicago.”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I’m still intrigued.”
“You’re still going to be disappointed.”
He laughed.
“No, I’m bein
g serious. I need you to stop. Or I’m going to have to stop working on Anna and Jordan’s wedding. I don’t want to do that. I want to give them their dream, but you’re making it impossible for me to do my work. I gave you this meeting, but this is it. No more.”
“You’d really refund them all their money and cancel their wedding just so you didn’t have to speak to me?”
“Would you really keep harassing me knowing that I would cancel their wedding? Are you that selfish?”
“You must really have it bad for this Phillip.”
“I do.” She nodded. “I love him. I love him in a way I didn’t know you could love another person. I see him, and he sees me.”
Suddenly, emotion threatened to choke her.
“I don’t want anything from him. I only want to give. Because that’s what you do with love. You give it. The beautiful thing about it is that there’s always more.”
Maybe she could break the spell yet.
It was so long until dusk, she didn’t know what she was going to do with herself until then. She had to tell him.
“Your head will always be in the clouds, won’t it, Zuri? No one is ever going to be enough for you. I guess I’d say give me a call when you settle down and start thinking logically, but I don’t know that it’s possible for you.”
Irritation swarmed over her like angry bees. “Why do you keep saying settle down? Settling? Being with someone isn’t about settling. It’s about adventures with your best friend.”
“You’ve been reading too much of your own hype, sweetheart. That’s not how this works.”
“Alec. I’m done arguing about this.”
“I can see I’ve reached the end of your patience.”
“So will you stop?”
“I’ll stop.”
“Thank you.” She got up to get another Belgian waffle and ignored her omelet.
“Are you getting another waffle just to spite me?” he drawled.
“I’m getting another waffle because I want one.”
“Hell, will you get me one, too? I hate salmon.”
“Then why do you eat it?”
“I don’t know.”
She grabbed him a waffle, and this time, for spite, she loaded it with so much butter each tiny square was a reservoir full of the melted goodness.
Zuri set the plate in front of him and he said, “Okay, the butter was for spite.”
“You’re right—it tastes good.”
Without the threat of his romantic aspirations hanging over them, she was able to be present in the moment and talk with him about the wedding, about Anna and Jordan, and about all the banal things he said would shatter her illusions of Ever After.
They didn’t.
Not in the least.
They only made her more eager for night to fall so that she could find Phillip and tell him that she loved him.
Chapter 18
When Phillip was once again a man, he was surprised to find himself without the taste of bugs in his teeth, or the stench of fountain water clinging to him.
He was sitting in the mineral bath with Zuri.
She was delightfully naked.
Scrubbing the water off his face, he said, “This is unexpected.”
“I hope it’s okay. Frog you was happy to hop in my basket when I went to collect him from the fountain before dusk.”
“Interesting. He usually demands to be in the fountain. If you got him, I mean us, no . . . me. If you got me to leave, that’s great.” Then he went on high alert, inspecting her. “You didn’t get frog pox again, did you? Are you okay?”
“I didn’t kiss your froggy self. I’m fine. I might’ve enticed you with some strawberries, though, but I figured you wouldn’t mind.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth. “It’s a pleasure to taste strawberries rather than what I usually deal with.”
A new light sparkled in her eyes.
“What are you up to, pretty princess?”
She beamed at him and bit her lip. “I have something to tell you.”
“Well, tell me.”
“Not yet.”
He laughed. “Okay, what am I doing here?”
“Besides taking a long, luxurious soak in the mineral bath?”
“Don’t we have work?”
“Nope. Our schedules are clear for the next eight hours. So I expect you to make good use of that time.”
He’d have to admit he liked the way her brain worked.
Phillip never thought he’d be as happy to stay in the water, but here he was in this hot mineral bath thinking he’d never leave.
At least, not until he had to.
He knew he should be talking to Ravenna, but what would it hurt to give himself one more night with his sweet Zuri? Especially after she’d gathered him from the fountain. He’d have to be crazy and stupid to leave her naked and wanting.
But he also had to be honest. “Zuri, last night you said you understood if I had to take measures for this curse.”
“I do.”
“I need to tell you what those are.”
She looked down at her hands for a moment before looking back up at him. “Part of me wants to say that you don’t have to, but you do, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I do. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be here with you.”
“I know. So tell me. Then I’ll tell you. We’ll trade.”
“I went to see Ravenna about the curse. Her crystal ball showed us a wedding, and it was Ravenna’s familiar who escorted the bride.”
He waited for the shock, the betrayal, to wash over her. He waited for her to change her mind about being with him.
Instead, she cupped his cheek with her hand. “That is not the answer. I am.”
“What do you mean? Baby, you already kissed me, and not only didn’t it break the curse, but you got sick.”
“I didn’t know then what I know now.” She bit her lip. “I didn’t feel then what I feel now.”
“What?” The word almost got stuck in his throat.
Was this real? After all this time?
“You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You’re kind, generous, warm, and open. You’re honest. God, you’re so honest. Even when it costs you something to be so. You’re the kind of man who can admit you’re wrong, who can own his mistakes and try to be better. You see me for exactly who I am, and you don’t try to make me anything different. I want you to know that I see you, too. I love you, Phillip.”
Emotion overwhelmed him. Dry, empty places inside of him that he’d thought were long lost burst to vibrant life. So did that little flame of hope. Hope for not just a future, but a future with Zuri.
He pulled her to him, and she wrapped herself around him. Phillip buried his face in the crook of her neck.
“I wanted to tell you last night, but I didn’t think it would be fair to you.”
“Tell me now.”
He pulled back from her to look in her eyes. “I do see you, Zuri. You came to Ever After, and while this place is supposed to be magic, it’s supposed to be a fairy tale, it’s you that’s magic. And I love you.”
“This is True Love’s Kiss,” she said, before kissing him.
Phillip had no doubt, because he poured everything he felt for her into the collision of their lips, and he could feel the truth of her words in the way she melted against him, the passion of their kiss with its strange confident urgency.
It had all been worth it to bring him to this moment with Zuri. He’d do it all again, just for this.
Phillip couldn’t quite believe that this stunning, smart, kind, funny woman loved him. She was everything.
He eased back onto the stone seat in the bath, and Zuri straddled him.
“Don’t make me wait. I want you now.” With no other preamble, she eased down the length of him and took him fully.
“You can have me whenever you want me. However you want me.”
“I like the sound of that.”
She began to rock against h
im, and she felt too good. He’d never known how good it could be, how much higher having this intimate connection could take them both.
“You’ve got to slow down, or I’m not going to last,” he warned her.
“I like that you think this is all we’re doing tonight. I told you we had eight hours.” Her voice was low and sultry, her breath warm against his ear.
“You’re a cruel taskmaster.”
“I’m just getting started, handsome.”
Her words thrilled him and spurred him on. “Oh, you think so, do you?”
He lifted them together out of the water, and she squealed, but clung tight.
“No fair, you said I could have you however I want you, and I want you in the mineral bath. I’m going to ride you like the Kentucky Derby.”
He laughed. “You’re the one who said we had eight hours.”
“We do, but this is a pregame snack.”
Phillip eased them back down into the water. “You win.” “Good. When I win, you win, too.” She began to grind her hips again.
“Don’t I know it.”
He managed to keep it together just long enough until her motions were no longer precise and controlled, and when she surrendered to the wild abandon of the heat between them, Phillip waited until the grasp she had on his shoulders became insistent, and she threw her head back while she found her bliss.
Phillip loved watching her like this. Loved that he could do this to her with his body. He let himself drown in the waves of bliss she’d brought him, spilled into her, and held her tight while earthquakes of sensation racked them both.
“I need to know if it’s going to be like this every time. I think it requires much more research,” she said.
“Much more,” he agreed easily.
Her fingers traveled down the length of his arm, then back up again to his shoulder, down his chest and abs, then returned to his arm in a familiar, comforting pattern. “But I could stay here like this for a while, too.”
“Uh-huh. Until you remember that the castle can give us anything we want. Just what will your imagination do with that, I wonder?”
“We’re going to have to quit the wedding business because we’re going to be much too busy to do anything except test this castle, and ourselves to the very limits,” she promised him.
Men Are Frogs Page 18