by T. L Smith
“That’s the beauty of it, right? You don’t want me, but you also do. So, it’s me you will have forever.”
“There is such a thing as a divorce,” I utter the words, but he laughs at me.
“Not in our world.”
And he’s right.
Not in our world is divorce allowed—at all.
The men will cheat and the ladies sleep with the gardener. But they never separate, no matter how much they hate each other. It’s as the vows are stated, ‘till death us do part.’
We are two of the few families that still hold these traditions close.
Lucky for us?
Not.
16
“You aren’t doing it, aren’t you?” May follows me around the café the next day as I stock up the sugar on the tables. Granted, I have people to do this work, but I have to keep myself busy—or I’ll get lost inside my own mind. And that’s not a place I want to be right now. “Don’t ignore me, Ev. I need to know.”
I stop, look at her, then sit at one of the tables. “Yes,” I reply, holding the bottle of sugar in my hand.
“Okay, I know you have to. You’ve told me since we met that it’s your family’s way. And that if you didn’t, you’d be disowned, but honestly, would that really be that bad?”
I gasp at her. “It absolutely is, May. It is. In our traditions, family is what comes first, always. Everything in life is for them. Everything we do is about them. Family is life.”
“Okay, okay. I see. I won’t talk you out of it. How about we plan your wedding then? Make some excitement.”
“I want you in the wedding.”
She manages to smile even though I know it’s forced. “I would have pushed my way in anyway.” She winks.
“My mother has almost everything planned. She has for years. Where it will be and how many people on the guest list. Seeing as I don’t have many friends, I’m sure it’s not going to be an issue.”
“Okay, what about the hens’ night?”
I shrug. “The women don’t usually have one.”
“Well…” she waves her hand in the air, “… we sure as shit are. You and me, we’re going to get fucked up. No Gunner allowed.” I laugh and a smile I’ve been missing all day appears on my face. Her hand covers mine as I look up at her. “If you want to run… if it’s all too fast… you say the word and we run, okay?”
I nod. She is the best friend anyone could ask for. “Thank you. But it could have been worse. He could have been a douche and not attractive at all. At least I’m marrying a man I love, even if I’m not sure he feels the same way.”
“A marriage with a one-sided love is a hard marriage, Ev.”
She knows, her mother always loved her cheating father more than he deserved. Even when he left her for someone the same age as May. Her mother would still take him back today if she could.
“We aren’t going to be like that. He’s different with me.” I can see she wants to say something, but she bites her tongue. Have I become that silly girl, that stupid one who’s blind to what everyone else can see? Can I not see anymore? Perhaps my love for him is blinding me.
The thing is, I don’t know the difference. I don’t know how I’m meant to be. How could someone you want to be with, someone you beg to be around, not be good for you?
I crave him.
“This weekend, then. You and me. Tell Gunner I want you for one whole night.”
I nod. I haven’t seen him since I left my place yesterday, and he hasn’t called. Neither have I.
Our sex that night was amazing. The best we’ve ever had together. Then he left.
He messages me, a few days later. Tells me he’s busy and I won’t see him until Sunday at my parents’ house for lunch. I don’t reply. He doesn’t seem to care because he doesn’t call.
Saturday comes around fast, and May picks me up. We go to her house to get ready and have some pre-party drinks. She shares a house with two other girls, who she doesn’t really like but associates with to stay on good terms for her living arrangements. They’re also coming out with us tonight. Penny grabs my hand and looks at my ring. It’s his mother’s ring, and because of that, I’m reluctant to take it off to show her.
“Wow! He must be rich?” is all she says as she drops my hand and smiles.
“He is,” May says, pulling me into the room and sitting me down as she starts on my hair. My chocolate brown hair goes half up and half down with a high ponytail and curls for the half-down portion. She then places hoops through my ears and does my makeup flawlessly.
“What did Gunner say? He fine with not having you tonight?”
“Yep,” I reply as she does my lips then stands to throw my black leather pants at me with a pink rose-gold sequined top. I get changed and slide on my heels.
“Okay, that sounded enthusiastic. What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “Oh, Alec might meet us out tonight as well.”
Her cheeks go instantly red. “No way! Are you joking?” She fans her face.
“You need to get whatever it is you have for him under control.” I laugh at her.
She waves me off. “Oh, please, you’re way worse with lover boy.”
“If you say so.”
I turn to look at her and she’s still bright red. Sliding my phone out, I text Alec where we will be, and he replies with a happy face emoji.
“You’ve had enough, squirt.” His hands grab hold of my hips and they pull me down from the table I’m standing on and he deposits me on the floor. I look up to Alec who’s now standing in front of me as May creeps up and entwines her fingers around mine.
“Alec, you came.” She leans in and cuddles him with one arm while the other still holds firmly onto me.
Alec hands me a water which I take and then I look at the time. We’ve been here for ages. Way too long, and I have drunk far too much.
“We need to talk, squirt.”
I wave him off. “I’m drunk.”
He smiles and I grin up at him.
“I know. Where is he?”
He looks around and I lean in close. “It’s just us two.” I wave between myself and May and drop to a whisper, “Oh, and her skanky friends.”
“I heard that,” Penny yells out, smiling. I flip her off without looking back at her. I don’t like her, at all. Just because May has to be nice doesn’t mean I have to.
Alec laughs at my words and shakes his head. “Squirt, were you planning to tell me about him?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know. Honestly, I didn’t know what we were.”
“You’re marrying him.”
“I am.”
“Do you want to?”
“I think so,” I answer truthfully.
His head drops and he bites his lip. “I can get you out of it if you want me to, squirt. Just say the word.”
I throw my arms around him and he hugs me back. May stands behind me and when I pull back, she sidesteps me and throws her arms around him. His smile drops as she grips on for dear life, and she’s most likely smelling him too. I can’t tell her that he isn’t interested, it will break her heart. He has to follow family traditions too, so he will have an arranged marriage at some stage.
My phone starts buzzing in my hand and a picture of a sleeping Gunner, a picture I snapped of him, comes up on my phone. I reject the call and look up as May is pulled away from Alec.
“Squirt, I’m gonna go.”
I nod, reaching for the drink that I had before Alec pulled me from the table I was dancing on.
“Bye.”
I climb back up as my phone starts ringing again. I throw it to May who’s watching Alec walk away, and it hits the back of her head. She cries out, swinging around.
“Stop watching him like you want to eat him.”
She throws her hands up in the air. “But I do want to eat him. Why won’t he let me eat him?” she whines climbing up to the table with my phone in her hand.
“Just leave him be.” I smile
while shaking my head at her. She puts my phone to her ear as I speak, “We can always find someone delicious to eat. I’m sure there are plenty of penises here for you.” She giggles loudly dropping the phone back to the table.
“You said penis.”
“Penis. Penis. Penis.”
May reaches down and grabs two glasses from the bartender. “It’s time to get completely fucked up.”
We clink glasses and dance. Dancing until the club is starting to close and the bouncers come over and tell us it’s time we leave.
“Okay, best night ever. Does it have to end?” I ask hanging off May as we manage to stumble out of the club.
“Ummm… no. Let’s go back to mine and drink until we fall asleep.”
The fresh air hits me. Everything hits me. My head becomes dizzy and I lean over, letting go of May and bringing up the contents of my stomach everywhere.
“Ev.” I brush her off, but she doesn’t touch me. “Ev,” she says again.
Everything comes back up again and again. My belly hurts and my mouth tastes like shit.
“In a second,” I manage to gasp out between the grossness that is happening to me right now.
“Ev…,” she says again making me turn my head to her. Next to her is Gunner, he’s standing tall watching me as I lay everything I’ve drunk all night on the road.
I wave him off. “Fuck off.”
May laughs loudly next to him, covering her mouth with her hand when she sees he doesn’t look at all impressed.
“Samuel, take Everly’s friend home.” Samuel, Gunner’s driver, opens the door for May and she gets in with just a wave for me. Gunner waits until I stand then walks over to me, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and passing it to me. I wipe my mouth and step away from my cocktails now running along the street.
“You didn’t answer.” I shrug. “That won’t happen when we’re married, Everly. At all.”
“Please, just shut up.” I grip my head with my hands and hang it between my legs.
“I’ve been standing out here since you spoke about penises, which I might mention, the only penis you will ever be getting in this and the next life will be mine.”
“Stalker much?”
He reaches for my hand, sees the ring then drops it. “I know where you are all the time, Everly. You are one of my main focuses.”
“How romantic,” I say with an eye roll, trying to not lose more of my cocktails on the ground.
“If you weren’t so fucked up right now, I would fuck you down that alley and make you apologize for the way you’ve spoken to me.” He leans in close as he says it, his eyes hard.
“Where’s May? I still have drinking to do.”
“We are going home. Your things will be delivered to my house tomorrow.”
“Say what?”
He stands, leaving me sitting in the street, brushing off his pants as he does.
“In one week, you will be my wife, Everly. Soon you will be all mine.”
“What am I now?” I ask, confused.
“Not completely mine, just yet. But you will be.”
17
I wake to hands touching me, hands I know well.
Hands that steal my dreams.
They flip me over and roam so fast over my already-naked body. I don’t remember stripping. I remember being physically ill then him handing me some bottle with electrolytes that he insisted I drink to make me feel better the next day.
As he slides into me, my eyes spring open and my hands grip onto his back. Behind him I notice some of my stuff is here. When did that happen? Then I remember him telling me I was moving in.
I’m about to ask him about it when he pushes in farther and grips the back of my hair, pulling my neck back, so he can kiss down my throat.
His lips are ravenous and his hands are unforgiving as he stakes claim on me once more. Gunner kisses the side of my mouth, not touching my lips, then lets go and pushes up, as I drop fully to the bed. His hand grasps my breast as he continues to fuck me while he squeezes my nipple. I watch him in fascination, and wonder if this will ever change, whether his passion for me will ever leave.
I hope not.
The hooded look he gets in his eyes when he touches me, the look of pure ecstasy when I come that flashes across his own face, or the way he marks my body with pleasure, none of it can change.
He applies pressure to my clit with his hand, and the other leaves my breast and grips my leg as he holds me still, and fucks me like there’s no tomorrow, as if I am it for him.
I hope so.
When he comes, he rubs faster, fucks me just that little bit harder, and I come along with him. The scream that rips from my mouth is almost ear-piercing. He smiles. I’m sure he gets pleasure out of watching me come. I get pleasure out of watching him, full stop. He doesn’t pull out of me straight away. Instead, he leans forward, and in a manner I’ve never seen before from him, he gently strokes my hair.
“Soon you will be my wife, Everly.”
I nod, unsure of what words he wants to hear.
“And then I will introduce you to my world.” He gets up, leaving me sitting on the bed wondering what the hell he means.
“Do I have anything left in my apartment?” I ask when he finally comes back in. I’ve gone through most of the stuff, and all my clothes are here, some already hung in his closet which it seems is now half mine. Granted his place is nicer than mine and bigger, but I love my place. It’s the first place I lived in when I moved out of home, and that means something to me. He pauses at the sight of me sitting on the edge of his bed with just one of his shirts on. It’s the first thing I saw on the floor when I went searching through my things.
“No, your furniture is in storage.”
I shake my head, turning away from him. “What happens to my place?”
“I bought it, it’s ours now. But you won’t be living there. As I said, you will be living here with me.”
“You bought my place?” How could my father do that? Let him take it from me.
He nods when I look back to him. Then he walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. I get up and follow him, pushing the door open so I can see him. He brushes his hair back and places it in a ponytail.
“We are going to be a team, aren’t we?” My body leans against the door, unsure of what to make of all this. He finishes his hair, turns his cold eyes on me, then something changes, and I’m not sure what.
“You’re going dress shopping today with your mother. My car will take you. It’s out front.”
“Change of subject.” I roll my eyes. “Nice.”
He leans in close, and his hand wraps around my bare ass and lifts before he slaps it.
“I want you in lingerie under your dress, because I plan to fuck my wife the way I want to. Do you understand?”
I place my hands on his chest and push him back. He takes one step and that’s it.
“You fuck me the way you like anyway.”
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I fuck you the way you like.” He takes a deep breath then leans in close. “Soon, you will see how it’s done my way.” He pulls away again and leaves me there in the doorway, pondering his words. I continue to stand there even when I hear the front door close, knowing he’s left.
My mother’s in the car when I finally manage to get cleaned up and out the door, and when I open the car door, she’s smiling at me. “You’ve moved in already?” she asks looking up at the place. Closing the door and sitting next to her, I nod. I can’t tell her I didn’t actually get a choice in this. That he did it. “Well, that’s good. You would have had to move in soon anyway.”
I shrug.
We start driving and soon we stop again. May’s standing outside and gets in as well.
“Hey,” I say, shocked.
“You didn’t think I was going to let you pick a dress without me, did you?” She squeezes my hand and my mother offers a small smile.
“Tell me more about Gunner,
Everly. Is he nice? Good to you?”
I feel May’s eyes turn to me as well.
“I thought you’d already know about him?” I ask.
“I do, but not what kind of person he is. I know of his family, that’s all.”
“What of his family?” I ask Mother. Gunner doesn’t tell me much, and my father won’t tell me anything.
“He comes from old values like ours. A contract was signed on your father’s side of the family many years ago, before you were born, that his first daughter was to marry the heir to the Reid name when you come of age.”
May gasps next to me and Mother smiles.
“It was a huge relief when you brought him home, and I could tell you already loved him. Especially in the century we live in, where the choice of someone to love is a given right. I didn’t have a choice when I was chosen for your father. My father locked me away in our family home until the day came, so my contact with other men was only the men of our family. And back then, you never went against your father’s word or will. Luckily, my father wanted someone young and with a strong name.”
“I know the stories, Mother. But I want you to know that my children will choose who they marry. No contracts. No old traditions.”
She nods. “Your contract was the last. Your father was afraid that wouldn’t even hold, but Gunner made sure it did.”
“What do you mean, Gunner did?”
“You don’t remember him?” she asks me.
What? No. I shake my head.
“When you were younger, Alec and Gunner were the best of friends. You used to follow them everywhere.
“No, that isn’t him?” I shake my head. I remember Gunner from when I was five, that was the last memory I have of him. Myself, Alec and Gunner always used to ride bikes and play in my treehouse.
“Yes. Not long after you turned five, his family died.”
“How did they die?”
Her hand covers mine. “That isn’t my place to say. You should ask your future husband that, my dear.” She taps my hand as the car comes to a stop. “I’m excited for you to pick a dress.”