by Lily Holland
I open my mouth to talk but he doesn’t leave me enough time and takes a step toward me.
“I have been falling in love with you for quite some time now, Miss Devinan.”
I try to mouth a few words but no sound comes out of my throat. My eyes are riveted to his and my breath catching at his enthralling tone.
“Our talk when we last met has only clarified what my heart already knew. You have no idea how much I wanted to visit you the next day. I even had to think of a scheme to get you here, making sure John would invite you so I could have you here, to see you and hear your voice…”
“You… You made sure we were invited?” I ask.
He nods in agreement.
“Lord Feaston wasn’t hard to convince, but I requested it as a personal favor.”
I remain silent as I observe him and he takes a last step toward me.
“I… I don’t know what to believe,” I admit, looking away as his hand on my arm glides to my fingers and he takes my palm in his.
He brings our joined hands to his lips and his softness creates a shiver of delight over my skin.
“You have to trust me, Lucy,” he says, gently squeezing my hand and his caressing eyes keeping me mesmerized. “You were wrong about me before, and I reckon I was wrong about you too. Our misunderstanding has already spoiled much of our time together. I would never marry someone for business purposes,” he adds and I notice his eyes are determined. “If you remember correctly, I gave up on the deal and made new investments in the North. My feelings for you are not motivated by mining interests, please believe me when I say only my heart has chosen this situation.”
“Only your heart?”
He laughs gently as he notices the clumsiness of his words. He closes the space between us and his hand presses to my cheek, his warm skin quickening the pace of my heart and sending a wave of heat across my entire body.
“The whole me has fallen in love with the whole you, Lucy,” he says, his knuckles gently caressing the sensitive skin of my cheek.
I blink as he inches closer and his nose brushes over mine.
“Now I only dare to dream you will share my feelings,” he whispers, his breath on my skin making me shudder with unknown desire.
His nose stroking mine softly and my eyes close when he presses a tender kiss to my forehead.
“And if I do?” I wonder, my heart thundering in my ribcage.
A large smile stretches his lips as he details me and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear.
“Then you can consider me the happiest man on Earth.”
I smile as his forehead meets mine and we remain quiet and still for a few moments. His fingers caressing my face, I am compelled to lean against his body and we pull back softly, our eyes blinking open to gaze at each other.
I open my mouth to speak, say something as I feel a peculiar connection is linking the two of us at the moment but he loses his smile and something flickers in his eyes. My breath catches as he inches forward, his lips hovering above mine as I close my eyes.
When his mouth presses to mine and he captures my lips in a delicious kiss, I let go of any doubt I might still have. There is no place for lies between us, his honest eyes and gentle soul have proved it to me before. He pulls me closer to him as his other hand snakes around my waist and I cup his face in my hands as I kiss him back.
His skin is so soft, so warm where my gloved fingers are so cold. I wonder if he can feel it but, as he kisses me strongly, I believe nothing can distract him anymore, and it makes me happier than I would have thought.
I strengthen my grip on his face and our tongues meet in a fiery duel. He holds me close, and we kiss in the midst of raw passion. When we pull back to catch our breaths, I keep my eyes shut and his hand leaves my face to join the other on my waist. He holds me against his body, losing his nose in my hair as I press mine to his neck.
We lose ourselves in this moment of pure tenderness and none of us gives a thought at the pale moon appearing above our heads. We remain locked in our own world for long minutes before we have to, unfortunately, pull back and return to the party.
Are we lucky? I don’t know just yet but, in the end, this night ended up as eventful as I could have dreamed of.
Chapter 12
Miss Lucy Devinan
I wake up and stretch in my bed only to sigh wishing I didn’t have to get up. I am about to go back to sleep when my mother enters my room after a brief knock.
“Lucy darling, you are so slow this morning! We are leaving today and…”
She stops and I peer above my blanket as she reviews the room at a glance.
“Good Lord, Lucy! You haven’t even finished packing yet! We are to leave in a few hours!”
I grumble and burry myself under the warm cover again but it is only a short relief. I head down for breakfast as my mother makes a selection with Mrs. Portman of the dresses I am to take with me to London.
I sit down to eat and lose my gaze outside the window. Months have passed since Lord Feaston’s ball and the late September sun has let his place to an early March breeze and an annoying drizzle preventing anyone to walk around the garden.
The ball’s night was a very agreeable one, I can recall. I sigh as I take a bite of my toast and smile as my father enters the dining room and greets me kindly. Since that very day at the Feaston estate, Andrew and I have been exchanging many letters. We have been meeting a lot, too, but his affairs are taking a great deal of his time and with the world moving as it does, he had to go to Manchester a lot over the last few months to secure his investment.
Every time we meet, a feeling of peace fills my entire being. I don’t know why, I only know that I love him and that he loves me and, as it should, it is enough for me.
I talk with my father and share some views about the weather and the war but I soon go to my room to finish packing.
“I could have finished it myself, mama,” I say disapprovingly to my mother who is, as she so likes to do it, picking out dresses from my trunk.
“Don’t you worry,” she argues feeling the touch of two different dresses. “I want you to be dashing in London.”
I roll my eyes but I don’t oppose her and go to sit at my desk. A smile lifts the corners of my lips as I brush my fingertips to the lid of the box holding Andrew’s letters.
I have been happy all those months and, even if his absence has postponed any official engagement between us, I have been pleased with our relationship thus far. I miss him when he is far and I feel revived when he is near, my mother believes it is the proper feelings attached to deep love.
“You know, my darling,” starts my mother as she studies a purple dress I had made last winter. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the Duke of Peicester were to propose to you soon enough.”
“Mama!”
“What?” she says looking up to find my eyes. “You two have been involved together for quite some months now. You must be eager to become his wife in more than in name.”
“Mama you are shocking me!”
My mother laughs at my words before shaking her head.
“If you love him, my darling, then I am happy for you. I only hope he will not keep you waiting for too long.”
I nod as I try to conceal the faint blush that colored my cheeks. Marrying Andrew has been my worst nightmare at one point, but now it is only a dream that I hope will come true soon. Nothing is official between us just yet, but I know he wants to propose for us to be married as soon as possible.
I grab one letter and read it silently as my mother gives indication to Mrs. Portman and I remain a complete stranger to the process of packing my own clothes. As Andrew’s voice echoes in my mind as if he were here reading his words to me, a smile appears on my face and a wave of comforting wellness makes my body relax.
It is funny to think the real him is so far from the heartless, snobbish and contemptuous man I have believed him to be all those years. I didn’t believe I could ever find any charm in him,
and yet I have found so many that I can’t dare to count them.
We get ready to leave and, after everything is packed into the carriage, I realize I am sad to be saying goodbye to Cornwall for a while. I know I will come back, but I will miss it tremendously even more now that it has become a symbol in my relationship with Andrew.
Of all the suitors I got acquainted with in London last season, the man my heart settled upon happened to live close to birthplace. The irony isn’t lost on me.
The carriage starts off and my mind wanders as we head to London. It is the first time going to London isn’t exciting me. A few days ago, Andrew informed me he wouldn’t be able to join me in town before at least a week or two. It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day and he had to leave because of urgent matters while we were in the middle of having tea.
Apparently, his business is thriving and he is gaining more power over the neighborhood than money can buy. My father himself has declared he was impressed by the young man. The last time we met, he confided in me some Lord was trying to convince him to run for a seat in Parliament. For someone who doesn’t like politics too much, he didn’t refuse before having my views on it.
“Do as you must, Andrew,” I told him. “I have but a very restricted opinion about politics and I do not believe my views would help you at all. If you feel a seat in Parliament might help you achieve a greater goal of yours, then you must take it.”
At this he had looked at me on the side and tilted his head.
“Don’t you fear it will make our times apart more frequent?”
“No,” I answered standing and taking his hand for him to stand as well. “I will go with you wherever you go. A seat in Parliament only means I will have to be in London many months a year. You know I love Cornwall, but I believe we could make it work, going back home as soon as the sessions are over.”
After this, he had kissed me and told me he couldn’t wait for me to become his wife.
Now, as the scenery passes before my eyes and I curse the road for being so bumpy on this road, I wonder if I could ever get used to not seeing him every day.
As the miles between us weigh on me like an infernal obstacle, I have to face the nature of the discomfort. I am probably more in love with him than I might have thought. Since that day when we shared our first kiss, I haven’t inhaled a single breath without thinking of him or keeping his face in a corner of my mind.
Those weeks in London without him, lost in a crowd of suitors and beaux trying to win my favors, will be more of a nuisance to my heart that I had expected.
Chapter 13
Miss Lucy Devinan
We reach our townhouse in London and settle as quickly as we can. Sessions in Parliament have started and my father has many people to visit before he must attend his seat.
Mama and I get reacquainted with our furniture and rooms as Mrs Portman gives indications to the servants we have brought from home.
Two days later, a letter reaches us as we are in the dining room finishing our dinner.
“What is it?” wonders my mother as my father reads.
A frown bars his forehead but I know from the look in his eyes that the letter is nothing displeasing. At once, he shugs and holds it out for my mother to read.
“Not much,” he admits. “We are cordially invited by Lord Hammersworth to dinner tomorrow.”
“Really?” exults my mother. “How kind of him!”
“Shall we go Papa?”
He arches an eyebrow as he studies my face before sighing loudly.
“I suppose it would distract us. My appointments tomorrow are set to the morning.”
“It would be marvelous, my dear!” says my mother, fanning herself with the invite. “This is a great way to start the season in London Lucy, a perfect occasion to show we are around and your father’s responsibilities are not keeping us in a hole in the ground.”
I shriek.
“Since when have you been considering Cornwall a hole in the ground?”
“Oh you know what I mean, my darling. It is a fine occasion to meet with various people and interesting gentlemen.”
I roll my eyes as she details my features. Unless Andrew comes forward with an official proposal, my mother intends to keep on looking for a match for me. I find it rich coming from a woman as happily married as herself, but she will not listen to my complaints…
The next day, we are all taking off to join the Hammersworth for dinner. As we reach the party, I realize my spirit cannot be lifted. A veil of sadness keeps on weighing over my heart and prevents me of being perfectly content at any party if Andrew isn’t with me. I cringe; a few months ago, I wouldn’t have had a hard time finding some amusement in this social event.
I would be able to mix in quite well, I am sure, if my mind wasn’t so occupied by thoughts of my loneliness without him.
We greet our hosts and get involved in some idle talks with a Lord and Lady Pemberton and I let my mind wander. When a strong hand grips my arm and makes me turn in a swift move, I tense and stare at the intruder.
My eyes go wide.
“Andrew! Why, I thought you were not supposed to reach London before another week!”
“Surprise,” he says, a fond smile stretching his lips. “I hope you are not too disappointed.”
“Disappointed?” I repeat, my breath short out of surprise. “I am thrilled! I was just thinking about you.”
My voice has dropped for only him to hear and a faint blush on his cheeks follows my words.
“I did my best to hurry with my business in Manchester to join you as soon as possible. I would have wished to share some time with you in Cornwall before having to leave for London, but unfortunately…”
I nod softly and, as I detail his face and smile without purpose, I have to fight an impulse to kiss him on the mouth. I have missed him so much in so little time.
“I am so happy I can’t breathe,” I say as he takes my hand and draws his lips to my knuckles. “I have been wondering how I would be able to survive tonight without your company.”
A laugh lifts his chest as his warm fingers caress mine and he tugs on my hand. Our faces a few inches apart, I get self-conscious of how it might look in the eyes of the people around us but, as I check with a quick glance, I realize no one is paying us any attention.
“Shall we dance?” he mouths slowly, his breath creating goosebumps on my cheek and spreading to my neck.
I nod and follow him as he leads me to the dancing room and we engage in the next quadrille. Time flies as we dance and eat and drink and laugh and my heart fills with a new kind of joy, a happiness I have never felt before but that charges my soul with contentment. After a next exerting dance, we decide to take a few steps to the garden outside to inhale some fresh air.
The sun is setting slowly, following its languid race in the sky, and we walk side by side, my hand fastened to his arm as I can’t take the thought of leaving him.
“It is a beautiful evening.”
I nod in agreement and he takes my hand in his. I stop and frown, turning to him to detail his features. A thrilling smile lifts the corners of his mouth and he kisses my knuckles before gently entwining our fingers and tugging slowly on them to keep me walking by his side.
“I wish I never had to leave your side again.”
A cold sensation runs across my spine and I tense at once.
“Are you leaving again?”
I know he can perceive the ounce of distress in my voice, my entire body is screaming it to him, my fingers squeezing around his and my breath short.
He stops and turns to me in a swift move. His hand releases mine and he brings it to my cheek. His fingers traveling along the curve of my jawline, my breath catches and my blood races through my veins.
“No,” he whispers inching closer.
His lips hover above mine and his sweet, enthralling smell fills my nostrils. I love when he is this close, the anticipation of his kisses making me restless.
&n
bsp; “Actually, I intend to never leave you again, my dear Lucy.”
I can barely inhale some air but I force a whisper out of my mouth.
“Never?”
He shakes his head no and leans back, taking my hand in his and driving in to his lips.
“I have a very important demand to make, Miss Devinan.”
I blink quickly as my heart thunders in my chest and I wonder if my legs are still supporting my weight.
“Yes?”
“We have been attached to each other for a while, now,” he begins and never - not once - leaves my eyes. “Those months have been the best of my life and I… I wish for us to make our future together. I love you Lucy, more than anything in this world and I do not envision my existence without you. You are the beholder of my happiness now and, as such, I would be honored if you were to accept to become my wife, my sweet, adorable Lucy.”
My breath leaves me as I study his face and try my best not to faint at his words. This is exactly what I have been waiting for all these weeks, these months since my heart started to beat only for him. His fingers tense around my hand and he brushes his nose to mine, my voice nowhere to be found and my eyes shutting close.
“Will you marry me, my love?”
My eyes flash open and I nod, a frank, undoubted agreement given at once.
“I will, Andrew, of course I will. My happiness depends on you, you could not make me happier than you are at the moment.”
He smiles and a corner smile appears on his lips.
“So I suppose we will be able to make it official soon.”
I nod but he leans in and captures my lips in a hurried kiss. The heat of his skin brushing mine makes a moan erupt from my throat and I close my arms around his shoulders as he holds me close. He trails a path on my lower lip with his tongue and makes his way in my mouth, our tongues finding each other in a sensuous duet that barely meets the fire devouring our bodies.