I waited patiently at the bottom of the stairs like a good little badass. He eventually bounded down the stairs, no longer trying to be quiet. "What the hell took so long, Eli? Did you make friends with my shower curtain or something?"
Elias scrutinized me.
I snapped my fingers in his face. "I'm going upstairs to get my stuff, Weirdo. Grab the guns out of the hiding spot behind the mirror, would you?” I waved vaguely toward the closet behind the front door. “There's a duffel in the coat closet.”
I paused on the stairs to make sure he knew where to find it. He should’ve, he helped me install the mirror case. It was cool—we carved out a hole in the wall behind a large mirror. There was a hidden latch attached to the side of the mirror frame. I pretended I was a spy every time I opened it. Michael would’ve loved it.
I grabbed a large bag out of my bathroom closet and shoved pajamas and workout clothes into it. The next two days, Sunday and Monday, were my normal off days. I made a mental checklist. Toothbrush, hairbrush, deodorant. Don't need makeup around Eli. I’ll not be acting on any urges. I won't even take a razor with me, so I'll be even less tempted to further complicate my already ridiculous life. Stubble and sex don’t mix.
Eli was waiting with my shoulder and bra holster, as well as a light jacket to wear over them. I was more confident when armed to the teeth. The ankle holster seemed like overkill, so I skipped it, and I was already wearing the one at my waist.
Another dull throb of pain slashed from temple to temple as I closed and locked the front door behind us. Elias touched my elbow. "Give me the bags. I'm still a Southern gentleman, even for the independent Riley Effler."
"You're lucky my head hurts, Elias. I don't have the energy to argue."
Elias stopped in his tracks. "Did it hurt when you were inside?"
"Oddly enough, no.” What in the world was going on with my crazy brain?
"Let’s get you out of here. I think you may be right about the allergen thing, since you were okay inside. Maybe it hurt the other day because Anthony walked through a certain grass or flower before he came inside. Who knows?"
Elias rushed me by putting a hand at the small of my back. It was somewhere between the realms of gentlemanly and chauvinistic, and it hit me like delicious lightning. Calm your tits. He’s not for you.
"I want you to stay at least until you have to return to work. Maybe it’ll rain and wash away whatever is aggravating you," Elias murmured as he opened the truck door for me.
"Thank you. I appreciate it more than you realize, but I want you to know that I'm only agreeing because you have absolutely nothing else in your life to entertain you." Elias threw his head back and laughed. "I'm serious! I know exactly what you'll do tomorrow if I'm gone. Two hours in the gym and the rest of the day playing some video game or another."
He smirked before walking around the truck and hopping in the driver’s side. "Well, we aren't lazing around tomorrow. I'm taking you to the mountains." I gave him wide eyes. I didn't know if I was up for all that.
"I'm scared. I'm tired. I’m feeling a fresh wave of missing Michael, and the boys…" I faded off, remembering my breakdown. "I actually said their names this morning."
"That's fantastic! How long has it been since you said their names out loud?" Elias grabbed my knee again, causing me to jump and shiver. We pulled out onto the road, headed for his house.
"I stopped around six months after they disappeared. I’d open my mouth, and their names just wouldn't come out." I leaned forward and put my head on my knees, a feat I wasn't able to do a couple of years before. The constant desire to work myself into exhaustion helped get rid of my gut, and I'd become much more flexible.
"I broke down after Anthony left today, and I talked to them. It was almost like they could hear me. I think I'm starting to think of them as angels." Tears started running down my cheeks again, absorbing into my jeans. "How many times in one day can I cry? I'm going to get dehydrated." I tried to joke to relieve the tension.
Eli moved his hand from my knee to the curve of my neck. He squeezed and kneaded my shoulders. His hands were so large he was able to rub both sides of my neck—in a truck traveling thirty miles an hour down the road—and make it feel like I was getting a professional massage.
I began to feel uncomfortable with the touching. Guilt ruined my ability to enjoy myself even a little bit. I sat up so Eli would remove his hand. "I want to sleep. That's all I can think about." We turned into his driveway.
"Whatever you want." The truck idled while Elias waited for his garage door to open. As soon as we stopped inside the garage, I jumped out with my bags. I needed space and lots of it.
"I'm going to make myself at home, E!" I called as I ran for the door to the kitchen. I'd been in his house countless times over the years. Eli had a home gym, and we’d used it until we’d found a twenty-four-hour gym. I was almost as comfortable in Elias's house as I was in my own.
I grabbed a wine glass and a bottle of white from the fridge and ran upstairs to the massive guest bathroom. I was supremely jealous of his house. Michael and I never made enough money to move out of the rental house. I soaked in the borderline opulence of Eli's house, and couldn't help but think that I’d happily live in a hovel if I could have my family with me.
The enormous tub filled with bubbly water while I filled my glass. Wine doesn't count. It's not like whiskey. I’ll have a glass or two to make me a little fuzzy so I sleep without nightmares. I could justify the alcohol if it meant no nightmares. The thought of waking Eli up with one of my screaming night terrors made me groan.
My aching, tired muscles relaxed as I sank into the too-hot water. Michael had always teased me about the temperature of my baths. I'd been known to scald my skin before he turned the water heater temperature down when we brought David home from the hospital. He’d been so careful with the kids. The house was baby proofed within a week of telling him the news of our first pregnancy.
I imagined that day—thanks to the need to do my daily ritual of dredging up memories of my family—but every time I imagined Michael's face, it was cut off and Anthony floated into my mind. His unusual eye color haunted me. I tried to mentally shake him off, only to have the feel of Elias's hand on my knee intrude on my cherished memory of Michael.
"Damn it to fucking hell!" I jerked up out of the bath and grabbed the wine bottle. I eyeballed the wine glass. "Fuck it." Setting the glass on the edge of the tub, I tipped the bottle up and greedily chugged. Make it go away. I wanted peace.
I chugged until I needed to breathe, then sipped as the water cooled around me. I splashed and hummed, letting the buzz take effect. The bottle emptied far too easily, and my body was covered in goosebumps. My nipples looked like tiny pink mountains on my breasts. I giggled and poked them. Sighing, I placed the empty wine bottle on the side of the tub so I could stand up.
Unfortunately, I forgot the wine glass was already there, and it hit the bathroom floor with a crash. A string of curse words came out of my mouth, at a rather loud volume while I struggled to haul myself out of the tub.
"Riley! What the hell is going on in there?" The sound of a fist banging on the bathroom door filled the room.
Uh-oh, busted. "Nothing." I giggled. "I'm okay!" I stepped wobbly out of the tub and immediately stepped on a piece of glass. "OW! Ow, ow, ow!"
The banging at the door stopped as I plopped down on the closed toilet seat to attempt to pick the glass out of my bleeding foot. I finally located the elusive little shard when the door knob rattled, and Elias burst into the bathroom. I froze, staring at him, clad in plaid pajama bottoms. The flat ridges and planes of his stomach mesmerized me.
"Riley, what the hell?" Eli stared pointedly at my foot. I managed to tear my eyes away from his stomach to realize I was stark naked. One foot was propped up, and my goodies were on blazing display. I laughed without shame.
"Well, Eli, it appears I'm naked, and I’ve cut my foot." The glass slipped from my foot, and I pressed a soapy
cloth from the tub to the cut. "I'm okay, you can leave."
"Okay isn't the word I would use to describe you at the moment." Eli's jaw was rigid, and his eyes were dark. His stomach muscles were taut.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"Elias. Will you please go get a broom? I'll clean this up and go to bed." And pretend I’m not attracted to you.
He didn't answer. Instead, he walked over and picked me up like I weighed less than a bag of flour. "Elias Tipton! Put me down! I'm going to hurt you!" I didn't squirm, afraid of being dropped or of his hands slipping from their relatively innocent positions. As much as my hoo-ha wanted those hands to move on down to the playground, I couldn't handle it yet.
"Riley, how much wine did you drink?" he asked in a husky voice.
"Um, one glass?"
"Are you asking me or telling me?"
"Well, if we’re being technical, I only filled the glass up once." I gave him my best sad puppy dog face. "But, I might've drunk the rest of the wine straight from the bottle." I lowered my lashes in mock shame. "I'm sorry I broke your glass."
I had just laid my forehead on his shoulder when he dumped me onto a soft bed. I sprawled, ass up, across the comforter, momentarily forgetting I was stark naked. Rolling over, I peered at Elias. I didn't trust myself enough anymore to know what I wanted from him.
His eyes raked over my naked body. Insecurities plagued me, reminding me I was exposed. I pictured the slight sag in my breasts from nursing two babies. Then my mind was filled with the silvery stretch marks that still lined my stomach. There was a little pooch above my belly button that only surgery would remove, and I wasn't interested in surgery for such a small flaw. With Michael, I never thought twice about it. He loved my body with its imperfections because it gave him his sons.
When his eyes rested on my toes, I sat up and curled my knees into my chest. I couldn't form a coherent thought. My body was aroused beyond belief, and my mind was in a self-conscious panic. Elias turned and stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him.
I fell over onto my right side, still curled up into a ball. I faced the window, but from my angle I could only see the dark sky. My tears lulled me to sleep as I gazed at the stars. For the first time in five years, my last thoughts were not of my children or husband. I thought of Elias, and I cried.
"Riley, I need you to hear me. Let your sleeping mind listen to me and remember nothing tomorrow. You can't trust Elias. He knows where your family is, and he helped make them disappear. He’s been watching you for years. I can help you. We’ll meet soon, and I'll explain everything. When you see me you'll understand. Sleep, beautiful girl, and trust me when the time comes. Let me help you."
"Wake up, Riley! Come on, wake up!" My eyes snapped open to find Elias inches from my face. "Thank the gods, Riley. I was about to hit you."
"What the fuck are you doing, Eli? Why are you shaking me?" In an attempt to get some breathing room, I put my hands on his warm, hard chest and pushed.
"You were having a nightmare, and thanks to the wine I couldn’t wake you. You screamed enough to wake the whole neighborhood.” He leaned over and pulled a blanket from the end of the bed. I was surprised when he covered my still-naked form with the blanket. "I never knew you were so comfortable in your bare skin."
My blush started at my hairline and spread to my toes. "Maybe a little too much wine—you know I rarely drink." I was mortified.
"It's fine. Do you want me to stay in here with you? You really scared me."
I nodded. "I think that might be nice, but…nevermind." Michael was the last man to sleep in the same room with me, the same bed. "I know I may have sent you mixed signals, what with the boob and twat flaunting, but I don't mean for you to—"
"I didn't mean that either. Let me be your friend. Let me be here in case you need me." Elias stood up to pull the covers from the bed, and I noticed he was down to his boxer briefs. I knew how he felt when he found me drunk and naked in the bathroom—the boxer briefs left nothing to the imagination. My traitorous vagina was dancing a jig as he pulled the blankets over us both.
I rolled over, because otherwise I would’ve reached over and grabbed that sexy, sweet man by the dick. Gasoline panties. Gasoline panties! Get your shit together.
"Can I, I mean, would it be okay if I held you?” He was nervous. “We've known each other for a long time, and I…I just want to help take some of your pain away. I care about you." I stiffened under the covers, but I didn't deny his request.
He shifted closer and his body heat enveloped me. Lying on top of the covers for the short time I was able to sleep had left my skin icy. I watched through the window as the first pink rays of morning peeked over the horizon. The long night was almost over.
As Elias pulled me close, my body was a foghorn in the dawn, screaming, "Riley is naked! Riley is naked!” And, oh my god, I could feel his dick pressed against my ass through his underwear. Not quite hard, but definitely large enough to make my nipples stand up and salute. He slipped his arm around my ribs, dangerously close to the bottom of my breasts.
"Sleep, Riley," he said in a soothing voice. "You're safe. I’ll always protect you." The wine still in my system combined with the heat of Eli's body soothed me, and I slipped off into a blissfully dreamless sleep.
Why are my eyes on fire? Even through my closed lids, I could see the cursed sunlight, turning the insides of my eyelids bright pink. My throat was scratchy and dry, and my head was pounding again. I blamed the wine—it forced me to drink it. I groaned, then immediately regretted the unnecessary noise.
Elias's body had molded around mine while we slept, and his hand was thrown over my hip. I peeked under the blanket to see how close his fingers were from brushing against the place my renegade body desperately wanted them to brush. He was so close, and yet not close enough. My emotions were a ping pong ball, bouncing here and there. I wanted to roll over on top of Elias and I also wanted to run screaming for the door.
I opted for the less painful route and tried to slip out from under his hand so I could close the curtains. Whatever my body wanted to do with Elias, my eyes were burning like a vampire at dawn.
Eli had other plans. His hand gripped my hip, keeping me in place. He groaned in his sleep and pressed his pelvis harder against my ass. I sucked in a tremulous breath and enjoyed the sensation of having a mouthwatering man wrapped around me. Then I slapped his hand on my hip as hard as I could.
”What the hell?” Eli sat straight up, surprised by my wake up call.
I rolled over, prepared to defend my action, but his face softened as he took in my shocked expression.
"Good morning to you too," I said with venom.
Elias raised one eyebrow and drifted his eyes down, lingering on my lips. He inched his gaze down my chin, then neck, to rest on my chest. Please let my boobs be covered up. I opened an eye and saw the edge of one nipple peeking out. Shit. I jerked the sheet up.
"What’s going on between us?" he asked. My mouth flew open, and my jaw unhinged.
"I can't, Elias. I can't. My body is screaming at me that I can, but I can't."
His head dropped to the pillow. "I understand. But you know it would be completely acceptable for you to let go, right? You can move on. It’s been five years. You’re allowed to live."
I rolled out of bed and held my chin high, fighting my shame, as I stalked naked out of the bedroom. Leaning against the wall in the hallway, I inspected the spot the glass cut me the night before. There was a small dump truck bandage on it. I shook my head at the thought of my dorky best friend. Best friend? What the hell? I guess he is. I’d spent so much time training with him that I’d grown to know and love his big, goofy ass.
The bathroom sparkled again and smelled like lemons. The broken wine glass was gone, and my overnight bag sat on the toilet. I brushed my teeth and downed two glasses of water out of the tap to rehydrate. After a quick shower, I dressed in my workout clothes and made my way downstairs.
Eli stood at t
he stove, shirtless, frying bacon. "I could smell that from the shower,” I said. “You're going to spoil me, and I won't want to go home. I love bacon! But, Eli, dear, didn’t anyone tell you bacon grease burns when you cook bare-chested?" I grinned awkwardly, trying to cut the tension between us. I supposed it was sexual tension, but I didn't know what to do about it, except ignore it. "Can I help with breakfast?"
"No."
I gave him an exaggerated sigh. "Well, then I'll get us some orange juice." I filled two glasses and sat on an island stool to wait for my breakfast to be ready. Racking my brain did no good. I couldn’t think of anything to say to make us feel natural around each other again.
The doorbell rang, and I jumped up in relief, hoping I’d get the chance to shoot someone. "I'll get it!"
Elias jumped in front of me, slinging bacon grease from the spatula across the kitchen. "NO! You watch the bacon. I, uh, don't want you walking on that foot."
Bemused, I gawked at his retreating body, before grabbing some disinfectant wipes and wiping the grease off the kitchen wall. I paused when I heard voices.
"This has gone on long enough, Elias. It's time to end this farce." A familiar, masculine voice floated into the kitchen.
"You'll ruin everything if you barge in there." That was definitely Elias's voice.
Unable to contain my curiosity, I peered down the hallway Elias had disappeared into. I met the green frothy depths of Anthony's eyes, and ice filled my veins. I twirled around and bolted through the kitchen and up the stairs, desperately trying to get to my guns.
My panic helped me move faster. I couldn't even feel the sting of the cut on my foot as I pounded up the soft, carpeted stairs. I skidded into the bathroom and realized that only the bag with my clothes was there. I ducked out, beginning to panic in earnest, and my back hit a wall of muscular chest. Hands wrapped around my biceps. I shook as fight-or-flight filled every muscle in my body. My instinct was flight.
Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem Page 43