My brother snorted and walked from the room, leaving me all alone with the happy couple. And happy they were. My father beamed, even if his eyes dimmed momentarily when my brother walked out.
“Kayla?”
I bit my lip. My heart thumped. For him, I would do anything. And with the threat of his dying from my poisonous cookies looming over me, I gave in. It took four long steps before I was close enough, but I did it. I leaned in and kissed her leathery cheek. “Goodnight.” Turning, I threw myself into my father’s arms. “I love you, Daddy.”
The woman cleared her throat loudly. “I believe you told Kayla that it’s her bedtime. Kayla, you should listen to your father.”
He patted my back, gave me a kiss on the top of my head, and let go. “Goodnight, baby girl.”
I nodded and walked out of the room. But I didn’t move fast enough not to hear my soon-to-be stepmother tell my dad how he was spoiling me.
They were married before summer and my life changed dramatically. We could no longer live in our small apartment as the stepmonster, I mean stepmother, didn’t like it. Before school finished for the year, we moved into a house and a new school. I wasn’t allowed to wear my usual pants or shorts to school but instead was forced to wear dresses and skirts.
My silver lining… the new house gave me more room to hide from my stepmonster.
Another silver lining was hockey. It became my saving grace. When my stepmother said it wasn’t right for me to spend so much time around boys at the arena, my father, who rolled over on everything else, put his foot down. “Hazel, it’s our special time together and I’m not giving it up. Kayla will continue to accompany me to the practices and games along with her brother.”
My stepmother made a sour face but let it pass. I already knew, from earlier experiences, that I wouldn’t like the consequences, but for hockey and my dad, I would put up with anything.
Since hockey stayed the same, I assumed—you know what they say about assuming, but I was too young then to know it—our summer vacation would stay the same. My brother would attend hockey camps, and I would get to go back to my Aunt Susan’s. But I was wrong. He still attended hockey camps, but for the next two summers, I was stuck on boring vacations to wherever my stepmonster wanted to go. The rest of the summer, I was subjected to her version of “how to be a lady” training. It was nothing like my time with Aunt Susan, and I desperately missed her.
Life became unbearable with my stepmother, but my dad appeared happy to have her. Still wanting to please him, I sucked it up. When they announced that my brother and I were getting a new sibling in the fall, I didn’t know what to think. My brother, on the other hand, found a way to escape our crazy life. He entered the junior hockey draft for the Western Hockey league instead of the local Ontario draft, leaving me all alone to face the new changes in our family.
I knew nothing of babies and wasn’t sure how I felt about becoming an older sister. But the day my baby brother came home from the hospital, I fell hopelessly in love. My stepmother did only the barest minimum to look after my baby brother, so at the tender age of twelve, I spent my non-school time caring for him. That was until she became jealous of the baby’s affection for me.
As summer approached, with tensions running high, my father—I could no longer call him Dad—arranged for me to spend the summer with Aunt Susan. I finally had my own escape plan, even if it was only for eight weeks.
My father pulled our brand new expensive car into my Aunt Susan’s driveway. Before he could even turn off the engine, I jumped out and rushed into her open arms where I promptly burst into tears. The smell of fresh baking and dirt clung to her, and it soothed the hurt in my chest.
“I’m sorry I can’t stay, but thank you for taking her for the summer, Susan.” My father deposited my suitcase filled with dresses and skirts on the porch by the front door. “Give me a hug, baby girl.” He held open his arms for me.
The use of my old nickname caught me off guard. I hesitated, overcome with longing. Even our hockey nights, which without my brother living with us only amounted to home games for our local junior team, my father held himself back from me. He no longer showed me the same level of affection, and I felt its loss.
His face puckered and his eyes shone with what I thought were tears as I stood looking at him. I wanted nothing more to rush into his arms to be his little girl again, but a distance had grown between us.
He took a step forward.
And I matched it.
The next second I found myself clutched to his shaking chest. His strong arms wrapped around me. “Remember, baby girl, no matter what happens, I will always love you.”
His words broke the dam in me. Until that very moment, I hadn’t realized how much I missed him even though we lived in the same house. “I love you, too, Daddy,” I said through my tears.
We stood like that until my tears slowed. When he stepped back, his thumbs wiped all traces of them from my face. “Be good for your Aunt Susan and I will be back at the end of summer to pick you up.”
With that he turned and walked away. He never waved or even looked at me as he backed the car out onto the road.
My aunt’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s get you inside and you can tell me exactly how bad it is.”
I never loved my aunt more than I did right then. She never tried to tell me things would get better or to just suck it up. Instead, she gave me a safe spot to land when things got rough.
She commiserated with me over supper when I told her all about my stepmother and my baby brother. I told her how I missed my older brother but was glad he escaped. When I told her about the dresses and skirts, she tsked and made plans to purchase me appropriate clothing the next day.
That night when I went to bed, I felt hope. Hope for the future. Hope for dreams I had yet to think of. And most importantly, hope that something good would be right around the corner.
Silver linings. They were always there, I just needed to look.
Chapter Two
Summer Age 16
“Kayla, you’re back!” A red headed boy seated on my aunt’s steps called as my dad pulled our new car to a stop in my aunt’s driveway.
“That’s the neighbor boy, Ryan, right? The one younger than your brother. Who plays for Kingston?” My father rolled up the windows and turned the key shutting off the engine.
I couldn’t help the grin that split my face, bringing pain to my cheeks. “It is. I can’t believe he’s here waiting for me.”
The door beside me opened, and Ryan leaned into the car. “Hi, Mr. Erickson.” Ryan held his hand out in front of my chest. I couldn’t help the small inhalation nor the slight blush that rose on my cheeks as I realized how close he’d come to brushing across my chest. If my boobs—much smaller than I wished—had been a cup size larger, he could have copped a feel.
My father glanced at me through narrowed eyes but didn’t say anything. He shook Ryan’s hand and then began to discuss the previous hockey season.
Slowly, I twisted to pop open my seatbelt. We’d been in the car for over four hours, and I wanted out. My movement didn’t go unnoticed, and Ryan shifted slightly to help. The problem… he shifted at the same time I did. His naked arm brushed up against my t-shirt clad breast.
We both froze for a split second, but then Ryan carried on as if nothing happened. Me… I was mortified.
For the previous two years, maybe even three, I’d developed the biggest crush on Ryan and his best friend Kris. That first summer, back when I was ten, they spent most of their time with my brother doing hockey related activities. But my first full summer back with Aunt Susan, they’d taken me under their wing, allowing me to perform all the same chores I’d previously done for my brother when he trained.
Each summer we spent more time together, becoming fast friends, but I knew nothing would ever come of my crush. After all, both Ryan and Kris were fabulous hockey players who would be turning professional. In fact,
Kris had been drafted to play professional hockey in Ottawa just the month before.
Besides their hockey skill, both boys were gorgeous. And it wasn’t just me who thought so. There was never a shortage of girls trying to throw themselves at the two of them. Between my age and how I looked—my stepmonster never stopped reminding me how plain my looks were—I knew I could never compete.
But every time they stood up and protected me from some of the nastier girls who hung around them, my heart pitter-pattered. It made me fall a little deeper in love with them even though their actions reminded me of my brother. They acted like he would, making me realize they thought of me as their little sister. I guessed a sister was better than nothing, but not when he touched my breast.
“Ex-excuse me. I-I need to get,” I stammered as I interrupted their conversation.
“Right. I noticed you hadn’t gone to the bathroom before we left, Kayla. I imagine you have to go pretty badly by now. Maybe next time you’ll listen to me.”
I slammed my eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. Gee. Thanks, Father. As if I wasn’t already mortified.
The body leaning over me vibrated with suppressed laughter. I knew it was laughter because I could hear the rising hysterics in his voice when he apologized for trapping me in the car.
If ever I prayed for a hole to open up to swallow me, it was then. I didn’t know how my father could embarrass me like that.
Gathering what dignity I could, I allowed Ryan to help me from the car. Unable to speak for fear I would cry, I nodded my thanks and rushed into the house. My rapid retreat probably bolstered their idea that I needed to use the bathroom when I didn’t, but I didn’t care. I needed a hug from my aunt. She was the only one who could take away the sting from my humiliation.
“Aunt Susan,” I called out as I ran into the house. “I’m here.”
Her head popped out around the doorway leading to her sunroom and greenhouse. A large smile lit up her face and her hazel eyes twinkled merrily. “Katybear, you’re here. Well, come on girl, come give me a hug.”
As I rounded the doorway and stepped into her open arms, I understood why she’d only leaned around the door jam. She’d been in her greenhouse or maybe her outdoor garden working and was covered in dirt. The rule in her house was that you had to strip off in the attached laundry room before stepping into the main parts of the house. To facilitate clean up, she’d installed a walk-in shower and always kept a clean towels and robes for after.
But a little dirt never hurt me. So, I didn’t hesitate to jump into her arms for a bone crushing hug.
My aunt was only in her mid-forties and kept herself in great shape. She lived alone, but friends always dropped by. As far as I knew, she’d never married, nor did she appear to have a significant other, but I also never asked her about it.
“Everything alright, Katybear?” she asked when I continue to burrow into her chest.
“I can’t believe my father would say something like that. Especially in front of Ryan. I was so embarrassed.”
“What did he say?” Her hand stroked down my caramel colored hair that flowed down to mid back. I was grateful she ignored my comment about Ryan. She never asked outright, but I suspected she guessed about my crushes.
“He lectured me about using the bathroom before going on a long drive.” Even I heard the childish whine in my voice, but all she did was chuckle.
“Katybear, bathroom habits are just a normal part of life. There’s no need for embarrassment, although your father could have picked a better time and not lectured you about it. I mean, you’re sixteen now. You’re almost a fully grown woman.”
Somehow her words made me feel better. Or maybe it was just her hug. But either way, life could function again.
“Thanks, Aunt Susan. I’m going to go wash my face.”
“You do that, sweetie, and I’ll get your father something to drink and a snack before he heads home.”
I walked toward my room with a lightened step. Aunt Susan always made things better. It was why I loved coming here every summer. I hated the fact my parents wouldn’t let me call her during the year—they never said officially why, but I think it had something to do with Aunt Susan being my mother’s sister, though it could also have just fallen under the “I’m not allowed to use the phone” rule. But every month, without fail, she called me to talk for the thirty minutes I was allowed to speak on the phone with her. It wasn’t much, but I cherished every moment.
Pushing the door open to my bedroom—Aunt Susan had it decorated for me and never allowed anyone else to use it—I jumped, startled to see Ryan lying propped up on my bed.
He opened his arms for me to climb into. “I’m so sorry if I embarrassed you, Kitkat. I didn’t mean to.”
I snuggled into his arms, wishing his hugs were more romantic than platonic. He always had a scent of spicy cloves clinging to him, and I breathed in deeply. Whenever I smelt cloves at other times of the years, it reminded me of him, of my summers of freedom, and increased my loneliness. “It wasn’t you, Ryan.”
His hand rubbed circles on my back for a moment before he rolled me to his side. I worried for a moment he would remove his arm, but instead, he kept his arm under my neck while his other hand grasped mine. “Dads can be that way, Kitkat. Mine embarrasses me all the time. But, I miss him terribly when I’m away in Kingston with my billeted family.”
My free hand snaked across the bed until it cradled his cheek. As he spoke of Kingston, his eyes misted. For the previous two years, he’d roomed with his best friend Kris during the hockey season but that would change this year. With Kris drafted to Ottawa, while it wasn’t a guarantee, Kris would most likely be playing for the farm team in Belleville, if not in Ottawa.
Without thinking how it might look to someone or how Ryan might interpret it, my thumb caressed the smooth skin below his eye. “You’re going to miss him this year, aren’t you?”
He licked his lips, and I felt a strange flutter low in my abdomen. There was nothing I wanted to do more at that moment than to taste what his tongue touched, but I couldn’t and would never. It would forever be relegated to the land of dreams and fantasies. His eyes continued to stare at me. I wanted to shift under the weight of their gaze, but held perfectly still, not wanting him to look away.
“Yeah, it’s going to be rough without Kris next year. Thankfully, he’s staying close by. I don’t know how I would have survived if he’d been drafted by a team on the west coast.”
Our whispered discussion lent an air of intimacy that played havoc on my sixteen year old hormones. I bit the side of my bottom lip to keep from lunging forward and planting my lips on his.
“Kayla, I’m—”
We jumped apart as my father pushed open my bedroom door and walked in. His eyes narrowed when he saw Ryan on the bed beside me. “I’m leaving and you need to come say goodbye.” He turned on his heel and stomped down the hall, calling for my aunt, but not before levelling a death glare at Ryan.
“I’m sorry, Kitkat. I think I just got you in trouble, but I couldn’t resist having you close by. I missed you so much this past year.”
I nodded and jumped off the bed. “I missed you, too.” I shoved my shaking hands into the pockets on the ultra conservative summer dress my stepmother forced me to wear. Having my dad walk in and now hearing his heated discussion with my aunt, I worried he’d force me to leave. My stepmother wouldn’t be happy to have me back, but if he told her that he found me on a bed with a boy, she would be pleased he kept me shaming the family. Although it wouldn’t stop her punishments to keep me from tarnishing my reputation in the future.
A hand landed on my shoulder, and I jumped. “Relax, Kitkat. I’ll go explain everything. I couldn’t deal with it if he took you home now.” Ryan pushed past me and strode down the hall toward my father’s angry voice.
I stood there stunned, not knowing what to make of his words. We were friends, even if he treated me like a little sister, but never had his voice so
unded so anguished when he spoke of me leaving. Even though I knew it couldn’t be, hope for something more crept into my soul. My heart double timed as I raced down the hall after him.
“—my sister, sir. I would never do something like that.”
My heart broke at hearing Ryan confirm to my father exactly what I always knew… I was a little sister to him. Tears pooled in my eyes, but I fought them back. I had years of experience practicing it. My face became a blank slate as I reverted back to the Kayla I was at home.
“I’m sorry for my behavior, Father. I will complete added chores for Aunt Susan to make up for it.” I prayed my apology and willingness to work for forgiveness would be enough. I already had a broken heart, I didn't need his nor my stepmother’s scorn on top of it.
My father’s eyes raked over me for a minute as I stood unflinchingly under his glare. After what seemed like an eternity, or at least long enough to have me seeing black patches from holding my breath, he nodded. “Fine. I will let it go this once, but if I hear of you breaking any more rules, I will be back to take you home. Understand?”
My head dropped until all I could see was the gray and white fake marble linoleum floor of my aunt’s kitchen. “Yes, Father.”
“Well, then. Come walk me to my car.” His arm went around my shoulder as he led me outside. “I’m sorry, Kayla, for being so hard on you, but it is for the best. You need to follow our rules even when you are here. If you don't, it will only make things that much harder when you return home.”
I nodded, unable to say a word. Agreeing with him verbally would make me a liar as I wouldn't be following our house rules while at Aunt Susan’s. With all the rules I’d broken in the past, the one I’d never broken was to outright lie to my father. He may not have still been the man I admired and looked up to the most, but a little of that young girl’s awe for her father lingered. If I couldn't give him anything else, I could at least give him honesty.
He gave me a quick hug and then jumped into his car. I stood alone, watching him leave, but never once did he look up or back at me.
Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem Page 74