It wasn’t until she’d rushed home early from an important conference to see what his strange, drunken, panicked phone calls were about that she couldn’t ignore the signs any longer. She’d never felt anything like when she’d walked into the condo she shared with him to find her finance in his own bedroom fucking—she hated the term, but there really wasn’t anything else to use for what they were doing—three women in his bed. Even worse, he’d made fun of her and suggested to one of the women, that she’d be more receptive to having sex if the woman asked her to join in.
She’d walked out, slamming the bedroom door, and with shaky fingers phoned Molly. Sean and Molly had turned up at her door fifteen minutes later. After making sure she was okay, Sean had stormed into her bedroom and yelled at his teammate before returning to grab her and his wife, leading them out of her condo.
Lifting her face to catch the final dying rays, she sighed. As much as the break up should have crushed her, it didn’t. She’d chosen Jack, hockey’s bad boy, because he was precisely that—a bad boy. It made him safe. Someone she could be with, could have fun with, but she could keep her heart from becoming attached. After her failed love affairs with Kris and Ryan, and then Adam, she’d kept her heart from every other man who entered her life.
Although, if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t have any of her heart left to give to another man. Her heart already belonged to three amazing men. Each one left a permanent mark, their mark of ownership, on her soul. Even when she cuddled within Jack’s arms on the couch, her heart would pound, sweat would bead on her skin from erotic daydreams involving Kris and Ryan. Or Adam. Some nights, alone in her own bed, her dreams even contained all three despite the fact that combination would never happen. With dreams like that, she knew she and Jack were doomed from the start, but she stayed with him. He was safe and comfortable. He took away her loneliness.
No, she wasn’t hiding out due to her failed engagement and losing the love of life, like most of the wives and girlfriends thought. She was hiding because her confidence had been shattered. Jack was the first guy she’d put herself out there for since Adam. He was the second guy she’d allowed to get close to her. So, the tally for her relationships stood at Kris and Ryan who left without a word and were seen with other women, Adam who she left, but not by choice, yet he never tracked her down, and now Jack who’d decided he needed sex more than her. How was anyone supposed to feel good about themselves with that history.
Rolling her shoulders and then her neck, she stood as the sun slipped below the horizon and the final streaks of red and orange fled. The darkness broken by the light of the moon and the reflection of the walkway lights in the housing resort complex, gave her enough light to pick her way down the beach to the path leading to Molly and Sean’s.
Using their outdoor shower to clean her feet, she stepped gingerly through the patio doors leading into her guest room. She dropped her beach bag on the floor and tossed her hat and sunglasses onto the bed. Her nostrils flared as her stomach growled, whatever Sean and Molly were cooking smelt amazing. Rubbing her stomach, she meandered down the corridor toward the kitchen and great room.
“Do you think we should tell her?”
Her feet came to a dead stop at the sound of Molly’s panicked voice echoed in the hallway. Who is she talking about? It must be me. I’m the only her left here.
“Shh. Not so loud, Molly, dear.” Sean’s low calm voice floated down the hallway slowing her own heart which shot off at a gallop when she’d heard Molly. “I don’t know what we should do, but…”
His voice trailed off and Kayla took that as her cue to make herself known. “Tell me what?” she asked as she stepped around the corner into the kitchen. Her fingers fisted at her side as she held her body stiff. Did Kris or Ryan find out about Jack? She’d never wanted to hurt Kris or Ryan the way they’d hurt her, so she’d deliberately kept the news of her engagement to Jack quiet. Only team members had been told about it and their subsequent break up, but she knew the story wouldn’t stay quiet forever. Hockey players loved to gossip.
Molly stepped closer to Sean who wrapped his arms around her waist. The look on Molly’s face had her fearing the worst. Visions of TV tabloid stories filled her head. She wouldn’t be able to walk the streets without a disguise.
Sean cleared his throat. “Um, Brad called earlier wondering if I knew where you were.”
The skin between her eyes wrinkled as she tried to understand the meaning of his words. Brad? Ryan’s brother. Called here? For me? Why? How’d he know about my friendship with Sean? She thought she’d been careful whenever she’d met with Brad. Never revealing anything too personal: not Jack, not Sean. Never did she want him to know that she was still involved in the hockey world outside of his games. And she really didn’t want him to know about her former engagement. She tapped her foot against the cool marble floor as she sunk back against the wall. “Why would Brad call you looking for me?”
Sean gave a slight shrug of his shoulders as he glanced down to Molly. Kayla’s breath caught in her chest. Sadness and resignation washed over her. Of course, Molly would tell him. He’s her husband. She understood, but the sting of betrayal was still there as she wondered how much Molly had revealed.
The only reason Brad would have called Sean would be if he knew she was friends with Sean. But there was no way for him to know unless Molly had revealed to Sean her connection to Brad through Ryan, and of course Kris. Did this mean Brad knew about Jack? Did Kris and Ryan?
Her hand flew to her mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut. How could she do that to them. Even six years later, Kris and Ryan still had her heart.
“It’s not what you think,” Molly quickly tried to reassure her, having guessed what was going through her mind. She opened her eyes training them on her best friend. “Brad doesn’t know about Jack.” Molly looked up at her husband. “At least, we didn’t say anything.”
Sean nodded. “Honestly, we didn’t say anything.” He pulled Molly in closer as his eyes pleaded with her to understand, but as she stared at him and Molly, she also noticed hints of sorrow and compassion in them. What is going on? “Don’t be angry, Kayla, but Brad has known we are friends for the past three years. After your second coffee with him in Boston, he saw you with Molly and me before the game.”
Her heart raced. Do Kris and Ryan know? Did they not want to see me?
“He never told them, Kayla. He kept your promise.” Molly’s voice cut through her rising panic.
She nodded as her eyes traveled between husband and wife. “So then why did Brad call?”
Sean and Molly both looked uncomfortable with her question. They glanced at each other, eyes tight at the corners before returning their gaze to her. She noticed Molly’s hands were white as they gripped her husband’s forearms. I’m really not going to like this. Kayla stiffened, locking her muscles in place as she prepared to hear them out.
“Well, he tried your cell phone, but wasn’t getting through…” Sean’s voice trailed off. She nodded. Wanting to hide from the world, she never purchased the international plan on her phone and had the cellular shut off. “He called mine, figuring I would know where you were.”
Kayla bit her lip to keep from yelling “Just get on with it.”
Molly looked as if she was going to cry as Sean took a deep breath, pushing her nervousness to greater heights.
“Kayla,” Sean’s voice lowered. “He called because Desiree was in a serious car accident. They’re removing her from life support today.” Despite the clenching of her muscles, her knees buckled as he continued. “They were able to rush her into surgery to deliver the baby early, but…”
“I’m so sorry.” Tears streaming down her face, Molly broke away from her husband, rushing to her side, but was too late to catch her as her backside smashed into the marble floor.
She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t cry. Memories rushed in. This was the same position Desiree found her in six years ago. The day Desiree bec
ame more than an acquaintance, more than Kris’s younger sister. Instead, she became Kayla’s savior and confidant when everything went wrong.
No. No. No. It’s not true. Her brain refused to believe the news. They’d grown closer over the years. As soon as Kayla managed to move away from her father to her mother’s in Boston, she contacted Desiree to apologize for her silence. The two talked nearly every day until she’d come to the island. In fact, Desiree had pushed her into taking the trip, telling her she’d be too busy being the nanny for Desiree’s baby to take another adult trip. Now what was she going to do? Who would look after Desiree’s baby now?
Kris.
His name and face popped into the forefront of her mind. How self-centred could she be over Desiree. Her loss was nothing compared to what Kris would be going through. Her first thought should have been for him, but she’d become so adept at blocking Kris and Ryan from her mind that it became second nature not to think of them.
Molly’s arms surrounded her, pulling her to Molly’s shoulder. She shivered as Molly’s embraced warmed her. Shock. “Let it all out, sweetie.”
Molly’s words confused her for a minute until she felt the damp patch on Molly’s shoulder. I’m crying. The thought jolted her from Molly’s shoulder as silence reigned over the kitchen. Swiping at her face, she removed any traces of her tears as her heart tore in two.
Kris.
Even now, her arms longed to wrap themselves around him. To hold him and offer comfort. She flexed her fingers. The memories hitting her strong enough to remember what it felt like to run them through his hair.
Kris.
It didn’t matter what she did, what she planned, or even dreamed, it all came back to Kris. Kris, Ryan, and even Adam. She wanted to smack herself in the head. I’m so screwed.
Tears threatened to fall again, but she held her breath until they retreated.
“Are you okay?” Sean’s worried voice broke through her self-imposed isolation. His hands reached for, pulling her to her feet as Molly rose beside her.
She sniffed. “Yeah, sure. I’m okay.” She squared her shoulders, showing a resolve she didn’t feel. “It was a shock. I just feel bad for Kris, and by extension Ryan.”
Molly rubbed her back. “Are you sure? Is there anything we can do? Do you want Sean to get a hold of Kris?”
Molly’s offered surprised her. Did she want them to contact Kris? Would she want to talk to him? Could she handle talking to him? After all this time, should she really break her silence? She didn’t think so. Besides, she thought she’d read somewhere that he had a girlfriend. He probably wouldn’t even want to hear from her. No, it was better this way. Better to keep her distance.
She offered them a wobbly smile as she took a step back out of their reach. “No, it’s fine. Don’t call him. It’s all good. Just a shock. I, um, think I’ll go and lay out in the sun.” She bobbed her head. “Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.” She spun on her heel and rushed from the kitchen to her room, needing time and space to lick her wounds in private.
Picking up her bag from where she’d thrown it on the floor earlier, she opened the patio door to the darkened patio. Crap. No wonder Molly and Sean looked at me so strangely.
She closed the door, shoulders slumping as she made her way to the bed. Dropping herself and her bag on the bed, she flopped back. She lifted her arm and covered her face. Her chaotic thoughts bounced around her head. Where would she live now? Did she want to reach out to Kris? How was the baby? Should she track down Adam to care for the baby? Kris’s lips. Ryan’s lips. Adam’s caresses. It was all a huge mess.
Groaning, she sat up. Her head pounded. Rubbing her temples, she closed her eyes and hung her head. What was she going to do? She didn’t know anything except it wasn’t wise to make any life altering decisions at this stage.
Standing, she weaved her way into the bathroom where she snagged two Tylenols and swallowed them down with a gulp of water from a water bottle she kept by the sink. She grabbed a cloth and held it under the cold water until it was ice cold to touch. Wringing it out, she stumbled back to the bed.
She climbed in, kicked her bag onto the floor, and placed the cloth on her forehead, covering her eyes. She willed her muscles to relax, for her brain to stop churning, but nothing she did worked. Tossing and turning, she punched her pillow. Why, God? Why? Why did it have to be Desiree? Why does Kris need to lose another person from his life?
Her tears mingled with the water dripping from the cloth wetting her cheeks. “Kris,” she cried, wishing with all her heart he was still a part of her life.
Making one decision—really the only choice she had—she knew she needed to fulfill her promise to Desiree. Someway, somehow, she’d find a way to help with Desiree’s baby. With that resolved, she closed her eyes and finally found an unsettled peace.
Author’s Note
Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I hope that you fell in love with Kayla, Kris, Ryan, and Adam as much as I have. Their story continues in Changing On The Fly. Authors live and die by the recommendations and reviews from their readers. If you liked this story and would like others to read it as well, leaving a review or sharing by word of mouth would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Also By TB Mann
Red Line Series
Junior “Eh” Book 1
Changing On The Fly Book 2 www.books2read.com/RedLine02
Cherry Picking (Exclusive novelette in Holidays Between The Sheets) www.books2read.com/Holidaysbts
Dump ‘N’ Chase (Exclusive novelette in Valentines Between The Sheets)
Entangled Hearts Series
Savor Life www.books2read.com/EntangledHearts01
About the Author
TB Mann (Twilah) is the wife to the most amazing husband and the mother to three extremely smart young adults. After nearly becoming a member of the 27 Club, she left her job as a nurse in the Canadian military to be a stay at home mom. As the children grew, further studies in nursing, infectious diseases, and theology were not enough to keep her brain active. After a few years of pushing by her husband, she finally picked up the keyboard and hasn’t looked back.
When she isn’t behind her keyboard, she can be found watching hockey, attending theatrical or musical performances, or reading as she lounges by her backyard pool or on a beach in the Caribbean.
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Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem Page 94