“That really was some dress,” Jocelyn said. “Do you have a picture of the back?”
“Oh, there’s a perfect one during the ceremony. Let me find it…”
My mom flipped a few pages back and found a shot the photographer had taken from behind me, focused on Dom at the exact moment he was putting the ring on my finger. While the others looked at the style of my dress, I looked at the expression on his face. The way he looked at me, like he had won both the lottery and a one-way ticket to heaven.
Creed didn’t look at me that way. There was certainly affection and appreciation in the way he gazed at me, but it was dim in comparison to how my husband had looked at me.
Joss and my mom continued to rave about the venue—the Museum of Fine Arts there in Westview—the bridesmaids’ dresses, the flowers…
* * *
“Did you have fun talking about wedding stuff with your mom and Joss?” Creed asked.
We were on our way home, the evening a pleasant one even though rain threatened. The interior of the car smelled of homemade dishes like mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables, turkey and dressing, the leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner carefully packed by Mom and Hadden.
“I did, actually. I thought I would hate talking about somebody else’s wedding when the time came, but it turns out, it’s not a bad thing.”
Creed glanced at me from the side, then smiled. “I’m glad it wasn’t a painful conversation for you.”
The thing was, wedding talk could grow awkward between a couple who weren’t on the same page, and I was pretty sure Creed and I weren’t even reading from the same novel. I changed the subject before I somehow mistakenly gave the impression that I was trying to wrangle him into a trip down the aisle.
“Sorry you got leashed into entertaining Hadden’s fishing obsession earlier. I hope you weren’t bored,” I said.
“No, not at all. I haven’t gone in a long time, but I love fishing. He even told us about some of his best spots around here. It was nice to talk about something mundane for a change.”
It was like somebody switched on the light. “That’s why you’ve been so distant lately, isn’t it? You want to avoid the conversations about you and what you are.”
“Not exactly. It’s not you… Not really. We talk about anything and everything, but everybody else has wanted to show solidarity or whatever it is you’d call it. We don’t have normal conversations anymore.”
“It hasn’t been that long—barely a week. And isn’t it a good thing that they want to show you they’re with you, even after everything that has happened?”
Creed parked in the spot next to my truck and cut the engine. He shifted in the driver’s seat to face me. “Yes, and you have no idea what that means to me. But I know I’m also now the weak link on the team. A liability.”
“No, you’re—” I tried to interrupt him and tell him that wasn’t true, but he didn’t let me.
“It’s true. I’m part of the same group of monsters we hunt every night.”
“To be part of it would mean you take part in what they do, which you don’t. You aren’t some label the supernatural world puts on you. You are what you choose to be.”
I unlatched my seatbelt and got out of the SUV. Creed followed suit from the other side and met me on the sidewalk.
“You’re annoyed with me,” he said.
“No, not at all. But if I’m honest, I don’t understand why you think your bloodline determines who you are. So you’re Nephilim, the son of a Fallen… Why does that mean you have to repeat your father’s mistakes?”
“It doesn’t, but don’t you think we all have a destiny? That our fates are predetermined? You yourself are an example. Your father was a hunter, now look at you. Look at Dylan.”
“Yeah, my dad was a hunter, but I was also all set up to be a museum administrator before Dominic was killed. So what? We all have the free will to become what we choose to be.”
“Do we, though? Your path was so altered by your husband’s death, what else could it be but fate?”
I ground my molars as my frustration ignited. “It. Was. My. Choice. It was an ancient evil and an old vendetta that got Dom killed, and I chose to do something about it. I could’ve gone on with my plans alone, but didn’t want to. If I have the ability to stop the same thing that happened to me from happening to other people, but do nothing about it, what does that make me? So no… It’s not fate or destiny or any other hokey horse shit. I choose to fight.”
“Point taken,” Creed grinned.
Looking at him with disbelief, I questioned, “Then why are you smiling?”
“You make me enjoy being wrong.”
I exhaled all at once and laughed a sharp laugh. It was easy to appreciate someone who would admit they were wrong, even if he was the one who had gotten me all riled up in the first place. And I felt the vise grip around my heart release at the sight of his high-wattage smile.
His eyes dropped to my lips. “Are you gonna hit me if I kiss you right now?”
“Not this time,” I smiled.
Chapter 11
Creed was still in bed when I awoke, but he was sitting up and wide awake as though he had been for hours. Maybe even hadn’t gone to sleep at all.
My content smile faded, erased by the unease that had returned to him.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up and bringing the sheet with me.
A few moments of silence dragged on, and he didn’t look at me. About the time I thought he had gone catatonic, he answered.
“I know what I have to do, and you aren’t going to like it.”
I sat up even straighter and braced myself for what was coming. “Tell me.”
“I need to find my father. I need to find others like me, to figure out what I am. And I can’t stay here to do that,” he said.
“I don’t understand,” I told him. “Now we know what you are. And you’re the same person, regardless of what label is put on your parentage.”
“Except I’m not. I can feel it. Something inside me has changed in knowing, and none of you look at me the same way. Like you all can sense it even though you’ve tried not to let it color your opinion of me. It’s like I’m a bomb you’re all waiting to go off. And you know what? You’re right. Look at what happened last time I put my faith in the wrong place.”
I reached out and took his hands in mine. “You made a mistake, but you fixed it. Nothing like the cemetery will happen again.”
“How do you know that? I harness the souls of the dead, Remi. There’s nothing good about that. Never has been, and I’ve known that as long as I’ve known about my ability. No matter how hard I’ve tried to use it for good, it gets twisted back into what it truly is.”
“So you’re giving up?”
“No, but I need to know more. I need to know if it’s even possible to be what I want to be. I have no idea how other Nephilim live, if they live at all. What are their abilities, how do they use them? I feel like I’m in the dark even more than I was before.”
I nodded. “I understand that… I won’t stop you from doing what you feel is right.”
“Come with me,” he said.
Letting go of his hands, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want him to continue to flounder here if he felt like the answers were elsewhere in the world, but I had too much to lose if I left Dove Creek to follow him.
You have to decide if the change is something you work through or if it’s a deal-breaker.
“I can’t,” I said at last. “You know I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
I thought about that question for a moment, and found the truthful answer. “Both. There’s too much work left to do. I refuse to leave that behind and break promises to the others. They need me… and I need them. As long as the Amasai are together, I’m part of that.”
“Will you wait for me?”
We had barely survived the distance of the past week while we were under the same r
oof. I doubted the rift between us would close if it became physical, too.
“I promise to try. But I can’t wait forever.”
“If circumstances were different… If it was just you and me, none of this other stuff… Would you come with me?”
“I don’t know… maybe? Probably.”
Creed placed a solemn kiss on my lips. “I’ll miss you.”
I nodded. “I’ll miss you, too. When do you plan to go?”
“Honestly, there’s no point in dragging it out. I’ll be out today.”
I thought of Jocelyn and the plans we had made to get together later in the day. Though I didn’t feel up to shopping, the idea of getting out of the apartment while Creed gathered his things felt better than sitting around in a miserable situation.
“I’m supposed to meet Joss later. I’ll get out of your way so you can do what you need to do.”
And didn’t that statement have meaning on so many levels.
I would keep my chin up and get out of his way without clinging to what might have been, in a desperate bid to hold us together.
Getting out of the bed to go get ready, I took a pointer from something Creed had said: No point in dragging it out.
I texted Joss to ask if she wanted to meet a little earlier than planned. Nine times out of ten, I would have gone to Gabriel to hash out a problem, but this wasn’t ordinary. For all his intentions to be a shoulder for me to cry on when I needed it, I didn’t think he could quite understand where I would be coming from fresh off a temporary but likely permanent break-up. And as I had just told him a few nights before, I didn’t want to keep burdening him.
It didn’t take me long to get myself together, and Joss had agreed to meet for brunch at Bobby Sue’s about an hour after I had sent my text.
When I went through the living room to get my keys, Creed was standing there with the suitcase he had rolled into town with, ready to pack. I might have guessed that a man who had been a nomad for years wouldn’t settle down in Dove Creek for long.
“I’m not taking everything,” he said. “Only what I need for now. I’ll be back for the rest.”
“I hope so. I truly hope so,” I told him, trying not to get teary-eyed.
“For what it’s worth, I have loved being with you. I never expected to find someone like you when I came back here. You’re more than I deserve.”
“It’s worth a lot,” I told him.
“I’ll leave my key under the mat where it used to be.”
And he would roll back out of town, leaving a gap in my life, a place I was supposed to hold open for him. If that was what was to be, I hoped he would find the answers he sought… soon.
I took three quick strides and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Take care of yourself. And come back to us.”
He turned his face into my neck and inhaled long and deep. “Goodbye, Remi.”
* * *
It was a cool, drizzly day outside the foggy windows of the diner. The gray damp was a perfect match for my mood.
“I’m so sorry to drag down what was meant to be a fun day,” I told Jocelyn as I stirred cream and sugar into the heavy ceramic mug in front of me.
“Don’t be silly. I’m flying high enough right now, literally nothing can drag me down. So I’m here to listen. And we’ll go shopping and get some cute stuff and take your mind off things.”
“I’m not so sure retail therapy works for me.” I smiled a weak smile.
“How do you know if you’ve never tried?” she insisted. “You know, I thought Creed seemed a little off yesterday, but I wouldn’t have expected this.”
“Me, either. We’ve been a little out of sync ever since we saw Yescha and Michael, but I didn’t imagine it would come to this. We had a good talk last night… I thought he was coming around.”
The server placed two steaming plates in front of us, asked something I didn’t register, and left us to it.
Joss lifted her knife and fork, but paused long enough to catch my attention. “You’ll be okay, Remi. I know you will.”
“I know I will, too. For now, I’ll just mope around for a few days and get used to living alone again. It was only a few months, after all. I’m not even in love with him, not really. We aren’t there yet.”
“Oh?” she finished chewing a bite of fluffy pancake and washed it down with a sip of coffee. “I guess I thought that was one of those things you don’t wait for. Either you are or you aren’t.”
“You sound like Gabriel,” I told her.
“No one will ever stack up to Dominic unless you allow them the chance,” she said, giving a direct look to my wedding ring. “I made a similar mistake, closing myself off for years, convinced that any other man I let get close would treat me like Jack did. And I was so wrong. When I finally took a chance, Dylan proved all of that completely wrong.”
“So you’re saying I should’ve given Creed more of a chance?”
“No, not exactly. If it isn’t there, it isn’t there. And he obviously has his own issues to go work out… Maybe after he works them out, it will be there. But my point is, you shouldn’t discount the possibility that you’ll find true love again.”
I nibbled a piece of bacon and thought about what she was saying. Meg had told me something similar only a couple months before, after things had gone sideways with both Casey and Alex. I didn’t think I was avoiding love, but I wondered if I was somehow sabotaging myself. Pursuing dead-end relationships out of a subconscious need to protect myself.
But until Valan was back in hell where he belonged, I would fear my love was a death sentence.
That wasn’t a thought I wanted to continue to entertain, so I was shameless in changing the subject.
“So, have you and Dylan talked about wedding dates yet? Or is it too soon?”
Jocelyn’s face brightened into a smile that rivaled the very sun. “We stayed up late last night talking about it. We’re planning for the summer—probably early June before it gets too hot. But…”
She trailed off for a moment, the clouds rolling in across the radiant skies that had been her expression.
“But what?” I asked, concerned.
“My ex-husband’s prison term is ending. He’ll be out by Christmas.”
“That’s what Solomon came to tell you about the other night, isn’t it? I’m so sorry. Are you afraid he’ll try something?”
“Yes, Solomon came to tell me himself, since he was the one who was instrumental in Jack going away in the first place. He said no threats were made or anything, but he wanted me to be prepared.”
“I’d say these days you’re pretty apt to plant him in the ground before he could even say boo.”
“That’s very true,” Joss agreed, a certain edge to her tone. “And I have Dylan, who has been so good about all of it.”
“You have all of us, too. Really. If he tries anything at all, we’ll feed him to the hellhounds.”
She grimaced, then her lips curled into a devious smile. “Honestly. Remind me not to cross you.”
I grinned back. “You never could.”
“I’m not afraid of him… not anymore. But I do worry about him trying to cause some kind of scene at the wedding.”
I thought for a moment and came up with a simple solution. “There’s a party barn out on the Blazing T Ranch. People use it for weddings all the time, and the property out there is gorgeous. You’d be out of the way where he would have to know about it to crash the party.”
“That’s perfect. We hadn’t even talked about venues yet, but I’m sure Dylan would love it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”
“Sometimes when it’s our own problem, we can’t see the forest for the trees.” I paused and finished the last of my coffee. “Now that we’ve talked over all our issues, are you ready to get going?”
“Yeah. It’s high time I show you what retail therapy is all about.”
Chapter 12
“If we stick with the same schedule, we’ll kill o
urselves,” Casey said.
We were all sitting in the great room of Amasai headquarters, the updated first floor of the old farmhouse teeming with the stress of reconfiguring our rotation with Creed out of the picture.
“It doesn’t change much,” Gabriel argued. “Meredith already agreed to pair with Dylan, so if we switch to just having one person on backup each night instead of two, we should be fine.”
Garret broke in: “And I can do double duty—act as backup some nights. Yescha gave me an ability, too, so I should use it. Stacey is getting the hang of the computer system and acting as dispatch, so she can be here to keep things organized like I do.”
“I hate that idea,” Aric said.
“I knew you would,” Garret fired back, eyeing his twin with exasperation.
We weren’t used to seeing the meeker of the two brothers stand up for himself, so instead of rushing to his defense, we let it play out.
“I can handle it. I’ve gone through the training just like everybody else here. Now that it’s needed, I intend to put it to use.”
Aric folded his arms across his chest. “Fine. But we’re gonna talk about it more later.”
“That’s it, then,” Hugo said. “We’ll keep to the same rotation with Meredith taking Creed’s place and pare down to only one on backup each night. Does anyone have any other objections?”
Words of assent went up all around—even from Casey and Aric—and the meeting adjourned. Hugo and Aric were out in the field that night along with Matt and Ty, Casey backing them up, so the rest of us lingered only long enough to ask after each other’s plans. I didn’t have any, for obvious reasons, and Gabe simply hadn’t made any commitments. Jocelyn suggested that those of us who were free to go out for an impromptu celebration and (I suspected) to keep me out of the dumps.
“I can’t tonight… I asked Viviana to stay with the kids only long enough to come for the meeting,” Meredith told us.
I shrugged. “I’m in.”
“Me, too,” Gabe agreed.
“How about the Dirty Dozen?” Dylan asked.
Three Times Burned: A Paranormal Fantasy (Remington Hart Book 3) Page 9