“He still has control of the school!” he argued.
I lifted my gaze to where Conner stared at something over my shoulder. “Is that true?” I demanded.
“The students have been released as of this morning. It is yours to return to.”
“There will be no more witches sent to you for training! You are an abomination!”
I smiled as I swayed my hips and walked towards him. Scenting his fear as I approached, I leaned over and gently brushed my lips against his as my magic held him prisoner. I consumed his magic; every single ounce of power he held vanished to enter me, a more powerful host. “And you’re fucking mortal, so who has more issues now? You, who now has no magic and must leave the coven, or me, who took in the unwanted, the damaged and broken things that no one wanted to see? I could own the world, should I ever choose to rule it. Anyone else want to poke jokes or talk shit before I go home?” I waited, turning to look at Conner, who dropped his eyes to the floor, refusing to look at me. “What’s the matter, love? Am I not all you wished for? Didn’t your daddy make me pretty enough for you? I guess he was right after all: you’d never want me knowing he had tainted my flesh and took away my beauty. Pity, I guess some things are just written upon burning stars that die out and leave even fate in despair.”
Turning, I found Laura watching me carefully, knowing I felt pain at his rejection. I nodded to her before searching the room for Clara, who stepped forward, healed and physically whole again from what the vampires had done to her. Once she was beside Laura and me, we left, not bothering to say another word to the witches or vampires as they watched us slip through their ranks and walk out of their lives.
Chapter 15
Six months later
I watched bad reality television in the main room of the academy, alone. I’d spent weeks in solitude, needing to once again bury the nightmares that plagued me. Now, getting Conner out of my system again, that would take centuries to achieve. I was covered in popcorn and butter when Laura entered the room, huffing and out of breath as she slid to a halt in front of me. Lucky for me, Clara was still healing and left me alone. While she carried no scars from her trauma, her mind still felt everything that had happened to her. She was like me now, broken, but learning to live with the pain she’d endured. That took time to accept, time to learn how to live with the memories. She was coming around, but she hardly left the basement of the academy or her rooms. Laura, on the other hand, the bitch had no pity for us or a shut-off switch, but that was one of the reasons I loved her sassy, snarky, take-no-shit ass.
“Get up,” she demanded. “You have got to come see this!”
I eyed her as I popped another delicious kernel into my mouth and crunched it. My eyes dropped back to the television as one of the girls slapped the male she’d been shacking up with, only to learn he’d done the same thing to the other girl in the house. I started to toss another kernel of buttery goodness into my mouth as Laura grabbed the tub and threw it into the growing mess around me.
“Conner was here,” she seethed. “It had to be him; he’s the only one with enough balls to have done this shit while we were sleeping.”
“We don’t say that name here,” I grumbled as I looked down at the couch, finding a fallen piece of popcorn that I picked up and ate as she scrunched up her nose in disgust.
“Get your ass up, oh Queen of the Sofa, and come outside.”
“I do make this sofa look hot, don’t I?” I muttered beneath my breath as I stood up, dusting off the kernels with butter coating my fingers. “What is so important that you’re disturbing my television time?”
“Come with me,” she said and waved her arm one way as she started in the other direction. “I’m over this pity party, and I’m also over you allowing Clara to hide away in her rooms. You know she needs to be out of it, and yet you don’t force it. Probably because you seem to be hiding from reality as well,” she huffed.
“Which way am I going?” I asked as I held my fingers up, pointing to each exit. “Clara is learning a new normal, and that shit takes time. Would you decide which way we are going? I can do many things, but cloning myself isn’t one of them, yet.” I tapped my foot impatiently as I sniffed the air. “What is that smell?”
“You, you are that smell, Avery. You’ve been moping about for six months now. No one has the balls to stand up to the covenant, nor do they think you’re sane anymore. You ate Roger’s magic, and you did it in full view of other witches. Do you know how dangerous that is, or how deadly it could be to those who have chosen to follow you? Remember when we discussed the whole you’re not normal spiel, and that if they knew, they’d move against us. Remember that?”
“What century did we have that argument?” I asked as I scratched my head, staring at her before bringing my fingers down to look at the butter that coated them. Okay, so maybe I should shower. “What time is it?”
“It’s nighttime; you know, when your undead King is out about and roaming the woods. Now follow me, then you can shower and do something with…” she paused, then indicated all of me. “Do something with that.”
“You don’t know what I feel right now,” I uttered as I wiped my hands on my sweats.
“That you feel like you can’t fucking breathe without him? That it feels like your heart is being ripped out through your chest, and everything inside of you wants to lie down and die? No, I have no idea what it feels like. Love is shit, it is hard, and it is ugly and maybe, just fucking maybe, it’s the universe’s biggest joke that it plays on us. We will figure a way out of it. We have worked miracles together, Avery. We have survived time and time again through everything this world has thrown at us. One man, who can’t even look at you anymore, isn’t a challenge. He’s a fucking problem and those we know how to handle.”
“I don’t want him handled; I want to forget him. I want to forget the way he can’t look at me…” I paused when we reached the roof and a glow lit up the meadow. Slowly, I walked to the edge of the building, staring down at the glowing peonies that had been planted the entire length of the field.
“I was out here thirty minutes ago, and this field was empty. They’re as far as you can see all around the building. Worse yet, he’s out there, watching us.”
“He is,” I said as I stepped back, feeling the pull to him. “This makes no sense. Why plant flowers that I love unless it is to taunt me? Do you think he plans to fight me?” I asked, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth as I considered what this meant.
“Normally, when a guy wants to fight you, he doesn’t plant an entire field of glowing flowers as a challenge or warning?” She shrugged. “Just saying, that doesn’t scream fight club.”
“Peonies, they’re peonies that have been painted to shine beneath the moon’s iridescent rays. It’s the flower I used to love. He’d pick them for me, and I’d place them into my bath, and then I’d bathe as he watched me from the shadows. It left me vulnerable and drove him mad with longing since, at that time, we hadn’t slept together.”
“You guys have some serious issues,” she replied as she leaned over, staring at the miles of flowers that surrounded us.
I lifted my gaze, sensing him in the shadows and pinpointing his location before I took another step backward. I knew better than to be outside at dusk, and yet it was past midnight, and he was at his strongest when the moon reached its zenith in the sky.
“Avery,” his voice wafted to us, and I turned, escaping to the lighted staircase as my heart shattered again. “I need to see you. We need to talk without an audience around us.”
I slid into the staircase and waited for Laura, who slowly made her way to me and closed the door behind us. She sat beside me as I lifted tear-filled eyes to hers. I couldn’t do this again, because I’d wanted him. I’d never stopped wanting him; I’d just learned how to live without him. He was a part of me, and yet he couldn’t even bring himself to look at me n
ow, after seeing what lay beneath the magic I wore.
“You’re stronger than you think. You’re braver than you know you are, and your butt is rocking in those sweatpants, even the butter looks great on you,” she uttered as she leaned forward, grasping my hand and pushing a hint of magic towards me in reassurance that I wasn’t alone, and that this, too, would pass.
Every night at dusk, more flowers would appear. I’d taken to cutting them down when the sun rose, and every night, he and his hive replanted them. Three months passed with them doing it. Every night, he’d wait for me to come to the roof, to expose myself to the night, and every night, I’d stand in the staircase, feeling him right outside the door, waiting for me to come to him. One night, my hand touched the door, and I knew the moment his hand mirrored my action. Yanking it back, I leaned closer, listening to him breathing as he waited for me to come out.
“You can’t hide forever,” he said after time had passed in silence as we sat there, just feeling each other from a distance. “I need to see you; to know you’re alright.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine; you will never be fine again after what my family did to you. I won’t be either. You were mine to keep safe. I agreed to my sentence because it allowed you to move on. It allowed you to go free and forget about me. I would have found you again, but for you, it wouldn’t be as it had been. You wouldn’t have remembered me. My father promised to keep you alive and make sure nothing happened to you. He wrecked you, abused you, and tortured you after giving me his word. He gave me his word as King to our hive and London. He promised me, as my father, that nothing would befall you, and that he would ensure you were safe from harm.”
I sat in silence, listening to him breathing as he waited for me to reply. My head leaned against the door, and I felt his touch through it, the touching of souls that only soulmates shared. I craved it; I craved him. I stood up, dusting off my hands and knees before I left the staircase and took shelter in my room. That night, I dreamt of him before our world had been ripped apart, and when I’d loved him more than I had ever loved myself.
Chapter 16
I stood in the meadow, watching the sun as it crested the sky. All around me were ruined flowers, piles of them that had been painted in a green-colored substance that ruined the petals. I could have left them alive, given Conner and his hive a much-needed break, but I was being petty, and the scent of this many peonies only served to remind me of the night he took me in a bed of their silken petals. It had been romantic, sensual, and perfect. I fucking hated it, hated their rich aromatic scent, the feel of their soft stupid petals, everything about them pissed me off now.
“You know we could just open a flower market and make a killing selling these things.” Laura snorted when I glared over my shoulder at her. “You need to talk to him. You’ve been going up to the roof just to feel closer to him for days now. Listen, I get it. It is a fucked-up situation on both ends, and neither of you saw it coming. I personally hate him, but I hate him because his breathing hurts you. You’re my best friend, the one I call when I need to hide a damn body. We’ve had each other’s backs since I pulled you out of that heap of trash you’d sat your skinny, terrifying self down on. I know you too. I know you’re hurting to go to him, and you won’t. You are you, and the most stubborn witch I have ever met. You have spent your life helping broken things find a home and a coven, two things they never would have had without you. You turned this broken-down shithole into one of the world’s top academies for spoiled assholes to pay for the coven and their needs. You could be the Queen of the Witches if you only reached for it, and yet you don’t because you love him. You still love him, and he loves you. There’s literally only you and Conner standing between your souls uniting. Choose love, Avery. You’re worth it; you’re worth so much more even though you can’t see it. He saw your scars, and he’s still here. He is trying to get your attention, and so what if it is to say sorry. Let him say it and see what happens from there.”
“You think I don’t know that? My issue is this: what if I let him, and it’s a goodbye? What if I can’t accept that? Worse, what if he doesn’t want me anymore and I have to learn to live without him again?”
“What if you never take the first step to figure it out? What if he still loves you and wants you back? What if we stopped using what-ifs and just figure it out? The entire world could end tomorrow, but that’s tomorrow, and this is today. He’s here, trying to talk to you, and you’re so fucking broken that you can’t see it because the idea of being hurt again is terrifying. It’s supposed to be scary, Cheveron. It’s supposed to terrify you. It’s your forever, and if he says goodbye, it will be goodbye. Tell me you don’t want him, tell me that and I will be at your side to search the entire world for a cure to cut the ties between you. Tell me, and we will go right now and do it together.”
“I can’t say it,” I uttered as I bent down, lifting up a single flower as I brought it to my nose and held it there. “I know I love him still, and yet I know we can’t ever be what we were. We’ve changed; we’re no longer the carefree children who thought they could take on the world. We wanted to make the world a safer place for both of our races and change the laws of them. He did that without me. He changed the laws and did everything we were supposed to do, and he did it without me. I’m afraid that even if he can forget the scars I hide, the pain I’ve endured, what would we do? Everything we’d meant to do together has been done.”
“You make new plans,” she said as she watched me closely, knowing me as well as I knew her. Centuries together had done that, and we were closer than sisters. “I am hunted, you know that. What you don’t know is, I’m bound by the mating of souls like you are. The man who hunts me, he is my soulmate. He’s done more than I care to admit, and I carry those scars with me. I’ve killed him in every rebirth he’s had. He is mortal, and yet he isn’t. He comes back every time, and every time, he’s worse than he was. He’s a storm within me that I crave more than I crave the air that fills my lungs or the magic that dances within my soul. Braydon is my bane, and my salve, and every fifty years, he returns to me, and I’m forced to kill him. We’re cursed, and he becomes infatuated, and everything turns dark. When it turns dark, it becomes a choice between my life or his, and I choose mine to go on. I have to watch him die, the man I love more than air, and I watch him die by my hand. I know your pain, and I understand it well, Avery. Unlike my story, yours has a chance to be rewritten again. I know you, and I know you love Conner, because no matter how hard you try to ignore that ache, it only grows worse as the time passes. You are the sun, and he is your moon and stars. Think about it before you ignore a chance at happiness. Some of us are cursed to remain unloved, while others ignore their chance. Of all the things I wish for you, your happiness is first and foremost. I’ll leave you to the flowers, but at least keep a few of them. I find their scent most soothing, sister mine.”
Hours later, as darkness descended and the light fell behind the mountains that surrounded us, I stood upon the roof in a maxi dress that exposed my shoulders and had slits cut up to my waist. The wind blew around me, howling as it rushed through the valley. I felt him before I caught his masculine scent. He didn’t speak as he stood behind me, didn’t move or ruin the solitude of the serene setting in which we stood. Exhaling deeply, I let my soul brush up against his, needing the connection as he waited for me to turn around.
He hadn’t brought anyone else with him this time, and I almost felt sad that they weren’t planting more flowers below. Laura’s words echoed through my mind, and I knew if given a chance, or a choice, I’d run from this moment. I feared his rejection, knowing I’d been used as I had, well, he’d liked my innocence and I had none of it left. I carried that proof within me, the amulet may have hidden it from the world, but I had lived it, and now he knew it too.
His hands slipped around my waist and he pulled me back against his granite-hard muscles. His
nose touched my ear, and I closed my eyes and relaxed into his touch. Still, he didn’t speak as we stood there, basked in the light of the moon.
“There is something I need to show you, imp. Something I found long ago and have kept hidden from the world. Will you come with me?” His voice was deep, sending a ripple of desire rushing through me.
“I shouldn’t,” I uttered as I turned around, searching his eyes as he held mine. I waited for the disgust to pass over his features, for his eyes to shift from mine. He did neither. Instead, his mouth lowered and brushed against mine and a moan of longing left my throat. “Conner,” I moaned huskily, needing him with everything within me.
“Come with me, and if you want, you can leave at any time you choose. I won’t ever force you to stay, Avery. You are free of me and my kind should you choose to be.”
“You think you could hold me there against my will? You think I’d trust you after you treated me like shit and allowed me to be abused? You have some pretty big balls coming here, let alone asking me to do shit for you.”
“I think I’m an asshole, but I lost everyone, Avery. I lost you, and it damn near killed me to think you’d turned against me willingly, and that I had allowed our enemy in to murder the King. I thought you had turned against me, and murdered my entire hive to teach me a lesson. I have spent every day since believing that. I didn’t hurt you. If I had felt you didn’t want to fuck me, I wouldn’t have forced you to do so. I was an asshole, yes, but I made it clear that you were under my protection while you were within my stronghold.”
“Addison didn’t get the memo, nor did you when I expressed that neither Clara nor Laura were to be harmed. I played the part you wanted me to, and I did it only to keep them safe from harm. You broke the terms when Clara was harmed, you’re just lucky she doesn’t carry the same scars that I do, or I’d be the monster you think me to be.”
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