by Ruby Scott
newlywed. Sean, Tom and Pat are the babies.”
“And you’re the middle one, right?”
Cara nodded. “Yeah, I thought they’d stop popping out kids when
they finally had a girl, but here we are.” She grinned as she pushed open the
swinging door that led to the dining room.
The table was long and rectangular with at least twelve seats around
it. It was an old table, with scratched wood and chairs with yellowing
cushions. On the far end of the table sat a large, bald man. His skin was the
same olive color as Cara’s, with a thick, bushy mustache over his lip. They
all sat chatting away casually, enjoying bottles of beer.
When they entered the room, Cara cleared her throat. All the attention
turned to her and the older man smiled. “There’s my little girl!” His voice
was booming. It was loud and gruff, but somehow welcoming. It was
another clear difference between Cara’s and Izzy’s life. Izzy’s father went to
the gym five times a week, never drank, and kept a full head of well-
conditioned dark hair.
“Hey dad.” Cara let go of Izzy’s hand again, crossing across the room
to where her father sat. She threw her arms around him and he hugged her
back. When they parted, she looked over at Izzy. “This is my girlfriend,
Izzy.” She pointed to her father, “This is my dad, Russ.” She then began to
point to the men surrounding Russ. “This is Sean,” She said, pointing to the
youngest of the boys. “This is Pat,” Pat had long dark hair that was pulled
into a ponytail. “And this is Tom.” Tom wore glasses.
Izzy had no idea how she was ever going to remember which brother
was which. “It’s nice to meet all of you. I’m Izzy,” She said, offering an
awkward wave.
“Come have a seat, Izzy. I was just tellin’ the boys here about our last
client and how much of a pain in the ass he was.”
“Dad owns a construction company.” Cara said, walking away from
her father and back over to Izzy. She took a seat next to Pat and then pulled
out the chair next to her for Izzy, “all the boys work for him.”
“There was a spot in the company for Cara too, but she chose another
path.” Russ said. “Gotta admit. We’re pretty proud of her though.”
Izzy offered a small smile, looking down in her lap while Russ
continued his story. Evidently the client had them working on a ridiculous
deadline and didn’t understand that rain was an issue with construction
work. He finished the story by retelling how he had told the client that they
could take their deadline and shove it. They’d have the work done at a
reasonable time and it would be done right. “You should’ve seen the look
on the sonofabitch’s face. It was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen.”
Everyone dissolved into laughter at Russ’ story. Everyone laughed,
although Izzy was a little shocked. Her father never would have used that
kind of language around a guest. She was fairly sure she had only heard him
curse once during her childhood. When the laughter subsided, Cara started
telling a work story.
Everybody was all ears, including Izzy. She was fairly certain she
hadn’t heard that story from Cara before. Izzy kept her hands in her lap,
making herself as small as possible as she listened to Cara’s story.
There was always something weird about being in a house that was
not yours. No matter how nice everybody was or how much you liked the
people you were around, there was still a level of uncomfortableness there
that you couldn’t shake. That was how Izzy felt, uncomfortable. Everything
was warm, everyone was welcoming… but she was still uncomfortable.
Add in the pressure she was silently putting on herself to give a good first
impression, and Izzy couldn’t relax.
She had a feeling Cara noticed because halfway through the story, she
reached out and took Izzy’s hand in her own, putting them both in her lap.
The small touch was extremely comforting. It helped her relax enough to
listen to the story and enjoy it.
Around the time Cara finished her story, Ann entered the room with a
pan of chicken in her hand. “Dinner’s ready.” She said as she placed the pan
in the center of the table.
Cara let go of Izzy’s hand to stand, “Let me help you get everything
in here, mom.” And then she left with her mum to go back to the kitchen
and bring in bowls of food.
She left Izzy there with Sean, Pat, Tom and Russ. The entire room
took on an awkward aura as nobody opened their mouth. Clearly
uncomfortable with the silence, Russ cleared his throat before speaking.
“So, Izzy, how long have you and Cara been together?”
“Um, a few weeks.” She answered. When she spoke, she didn’t make
eye contact. Instead, she looked straight across the table in the hopes that
Cara would return soon.
FOURTEEN
After the food was placed on the table, everybody began to help themselves
to it. Cara gently nudged Izzy with her elbow. “Hey, get some food.” She
said quietly to Izzy. It didn’t take long for her to realize how uncomfortable
her girlfriend was. Sighing, she took Izzy’s plate in her own hands. “I’ll fix
your plate for you.”
With all the plates served, Russ led the family in saying grace.
Religion was an aspect Izzy was unsure about. Her family weren’t vaguely
religious, but being respectful, she bowed her head with Cara’s family.
When it was done, everyone perked back up and began to eat.
It didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to Izzy. It seemed like
everybody was interested in Cara’s new girlfriend. “So,” Ann began. “What
do you do, Izzy? How did you meet our Cara?”
Izzy took a small bite of food, drinking some water afterwards before
answering. “I’m a surgical resident. Cara and I met at the hospital.” She felt
Cara’s eyes on her at the latter answer. It was a lie she had started, so she
didn’t look bad in front of her friends and it seemed she was still clinging to
it. Plus, telling her girlfriend’s family that they met at a club and hooked up
didn’t quite feel like the proper option.
“Ah. A surgeon.” Russ mused, stuffing his mouth with some mashed
potatoes. Izzy had a feeling he hadn’t swallowed all of them before saying,
“What’s your specialty? Surgeons have specialties, right?”
Keeping her eyes focused on her plate in front of her, Izzy shrugged.
“At the moment it’s cardio but… I don’t know. I’m considering my
options.”
“Really? What options are they?”
Izzy was beyond thankful when Cara jumped in. “Oh, she’s just
working through some stuff right now. She was originally in for
cardiothoracic, but she isn’t sure it’s for her. She’ll make a decision in the
next few months, right Izzy?”
Izzy nodded. “Yeah, right?”
“Not to show my ignorance,” Russ said, stuffing more of the dinner
into his mouth. “But what’s a cardiothor – whatever that word you used
was?”
“Cardiothoracic.” Izzy said. “It's a specialty in the heart, lungs and
&
nbsp; the other organs in the chest.”
“There’s other organs in the chest besides the heart and the lungs?”
Pat piped in.
An awkward silence fell over them after that before Ann asked the
next question, “Izzy, what do your parents do? Have they met Cara yet?”
Izzy drank some more water. “My mother’s a psychiatrist and my
father’s a cardiothoracic surgeon. They live in New York, so they haven’t
met Cara yet.”
“Any plans for you two to go visit?”
Izzy didn’t know what to say, so Cara jumped in. “Izzy’s parents
don’t know about ‘us’ yet. They don’t know about Izzy’s sexuality, but I
think Izzy is gonna tell them soon, right?”
Izzy felt completely put on the spot. She hadn’t even really
considered telling her parents yet. She knew that she had to. She knew the
longer she put it off, the worst it was going to look. Every day she didn’t
tell them just built up her anxiety and gave her more of a reason not to tell
them. She knew keeping this a secret would get to Cara and cause them
problems if it wasn’t already. She swallowed, keeping her eyes focused
down on her lap instead of the surrounding people. “Yeah, I’m going to tell
them soon.”
“Are your parents homophobic, sweetheart?” Ann asked in a
motherly tone, one that made Izzy feel like it was mocking more than
caring. “We weren’t the best at accepting Cara when she first came out…
but we came around. She’s our daughter and we love her, even if we don’t
agree with all of her life choices. I’m sure your parents will be the same.”
“They’re not.” Izzy shook her head, still not making eye contact.
“They just… I don’t know if they’re expecting it.”
She didn’t want to let them down or hurt them, even if it wasn’t on
purpose.
“They might.” Ann told her. “You’ll never know until you do.”
Cara reached down, lacing her fingers with Izzy’s and pulling her
attention somewhere other than her lap. “I promise that no matter what, it’ll
be okay.”
“I know.” Izzy said.
Luckily for Izzy, that seemed to shut down the questioning of her.
Ann and Russ turned their attention to asking questions to the boys about
their lives, about work and girlfriends. Dinner came to an end and Ann
offered to fix Izzy a plate to take home, which she accepted. She helped
Cara and Cara’s mum clear everything away, but she was quiet for the rest
of the evening as she thought about everything.
She probably looked like the shy, awkward girl. That wasn’t how Izzy
was. She was confident and fun. People loved her… but she couldn’t be that
person, not right now with so many things swirling through her head.
When the night with Cara’s family came to an end, Russ and Ann
hugged Izzy goodbye and told her how good it was to meet her. Izzy
returned their sentiment before Cara took her hand and led her down the
driveway.
“I think that went okay.” Cara said when they were both in the car
with the doors shut. “What do you think?”
“It was fine.” Izzy said. “Your parents were nice.” And they left it at
that.
Cara was at work the next day, stationed in a gas station parking lot while
they waited for calls. Her phone buzzed, telling her she had a message. She
was expecting it to be from Izzy, who hadn’t said much that morning.
Instead, it was from her mom. ‘Call me when you can? Love you.’
It was never a good thing when her mom wanted her to call. Worried
filled Cara, so she told Terri she would be right back before she hopped out
of the truck. She dialed her mom’s number before leaning against the side
of the red and white truck. The phone rang twice before Ann’s voice
answered on the other end, “Hey sweetie.”
“Mom, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
“Oh honey, it’s nothing. I just wanted to see how you were.”
“I’m great mom. What did you think of Izzy? She’s great, isn’t she!”
“Yeh. Yeh.”
“Mom, what is it? Didn’t you like her?”
“Oh, it’s not that Cara, it’s just after Ali we thought—well I don’t know
what we thought but it’s just… your father and I were talking last night
after you left, and we weren’t sure if Izzy’s right for you.”
It wasn’t what she was expecting her mom to say, but it still made
Cara’s heart drop. It made her stomach tighten in that not-so-familiar
anxious feeling. She swallowed again. “Why do you think that?” She didn’t
want to get angry. She wanted to hear her mom out.
“Well,” Ann started. Cara could tell she was stalling on the other end,
trying to find the right words to say what she wanted to say. “She seems a
bit… stuck up. She hardly talked to us last night. We just don’t want you to
rush into another relationship.”
“She’s not always like that, mom. I think she was just nervous.” Cara
was quick to excuse her girlfriend’s strange behavior, but that didn’t stop
the thoughts from entering her mind.
She thought back to the brunch with her friends, how they made Cara
feel like garbage and how Izzy never stepped in. She thought about how
Izzy didn’t talk about work with her as much anymore. Maybe her parents
knew she was gay, but she didn’t want them to know she was with Cara,
maybe she was worried that they’d think she wasn’t good enough. She was
clearly ashamed of how they met, not wanting anyone to know they had
met in a bar.
“I know and I’m sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything. We
just want you to be happy no matter who you are with.”
Cara knew her parents just cared about her, and they didn’t want to
see her hurt yet again. She swallowed. “I know. Thanks mom. I appreciate
you caring enough to tell me what you really think. I really do.”
“I know, baby. Please let me know if you need anything. No matter
what.”
“Thanks, mom. I’ll think about it, promise. I love you. Take care.”
“Love you too. Keep in touch and stay safe.” With that, her mom
hung up and Cara stuffed her phone into the front pocket of her work
cargos.
Her mind was racing, problems she didn’t know were a thing now
racing through her head. She had brought Izzy over to her parent’s house in
hopes that they would see how wonderful she was; now she was worried
that everything about Izzy was too good to be true. She took a minute to try
to regain her composure before walking around and climbing back into the
truck. When Cara opened the door, Terri peaked over at her.
“Everything okay?” She asked, concern etched on her face.
Cara looked straight ahead, trying to keep herself together. She told
Terri everything. They’d worked together for years at this point. “Yeah…
it’s just…” She debated on whether to tell Terri what was really going on.
Finally, she said, “My parents didn’t take too well to Izzy. They thought she
was a bit stuck up.”
“Oh.” Was all Terri said.
FIFTEEN
Later that night
, Cara and Izzy were going about their nightly routine. Cara
laid in bed as she watched Izzy in the bathroom, watching as she brushed
her teeth, went through her ridiculously expensive skincare routine, put her
dark waves up in a wrap. Everything she did was meant to be perfect, and
Cara was just now noticing that.
Izzy turned the light off in the bathroom before turning around and
walking into the bedroom. She crawled underneath the covers next to Cara,
tilting her head as she looked over at her girlfriend. “Hey, is everything
okay? You’ve been quiet today.”
How could Cara look Izzy in the eyes and tell her what her parents
had said? If she knew her girlfriend, like she hoped and prayed that she did,
it would crush her. Cara was convinced that Izzy didn’t think she was better
than anyone. Cara was completely convinced that Izzy had just come across
as awkward, not stuck-up. Her parents just didn’t know the difference. But
her mother’s words had wiggled their way into Cara’s brain, making a home
there, making her anxiety rise at the thought. She didn’t want to think of her
girlfriend that way, but now she was.
So, Cara did something that she wasn’t proud of, something she had
never done before. She looked Izzy straight in her blue eyes and lied,
“Nothing. I’m just extra tired. Today was rough.” She paused before asking,
“Everything okay with you? You’ve also been a bit quiet.”
Izzy shook her head. “Everything’s fine. I’m just tired too and you’ve
been extra quiet, so I kind of just followed suit… if that makes sense? I
didn’t want to be obnoxious and drive you insane with my constant
blabbering, y’know?”
Cara felt awful for lying, and even more awful that Izzy believed her.
She did her best to shake off the conversation she had had earlier with her
mother, hoping she could find a place in the back of her mind and store it
there, forgotten, like an unwanted Christmas present.
“You could never be obnoxious or drive me insane, I hope you know
that.” Cara said as she leaned over, wrapping an arm around Izzy’s
shoulders. “But since you’re so tired, let’s get some sleep.” She pressed a
kiss to her cheek and Izzy seemed to beam.
There was no way she thought she was too good for their
relationship. No way at all.