by Sarah White
“You may be an adult, but you’ll always be my little sister. I hardly think that I’m forcing Greg on you. Why don’t we wait to see how you feel about it once he gets home? Dad is expecting you to accompany Greg to the office Christmas party—it’s not really the time to do this.”
I can feel it happen, the moment I feel broken. My shoulders slouch and I turn my head slightly so Jackson can’t see my face. “Ben, I’m not going to the Christmas party with Greg. I’m not in love with him and dragging this thing out is just causing both of us pain. Please give me time to talk to Greg when he gets home in person.”
“Don’t do this, Madeline.” The command in Ben’s voice intensifies and I can almost feel the wave of air hit my face when Jackson snaps his head around to make eye contact with me. His eyes are pleading with me to stick up for myself, but I know better than to fight a battle that I can’t win. “You’re not still whoring around with that football player, are you?”
“Watch your fucking mouth,” Jackson hisses. “Speak to her like that again and I’ll make sure you can’t speak for weeks.”
I reach out to end the call but Jackson’s hand grips my wrist and he shakes his head no. His hand slides down to take mine and I wait for Ben to attack. “Madeline, am I on fucking speakerphone? Will you never learn to keep your personal life personal? This is between you and me.”
Jackson shifts forward in his seat. “It was between you and Maddy until you crossed the line.”
“Her name is Madeline, but I wouldn’t expect you to know that or to care. I’ve heard about your reputation. Just walk away from my sister and let her be with a man that deserves her. You’ve had your fun.”
Jackson chuckles. “Are you always such an ass? You don’t tell me what to call her and you don’t tell her who to date. My reputation is not a secret, but it’s my past. Your sister is my future.” My hand is shaking in his but he doesn’t let it go.
“You think we would just sit back and let you break her heart? You might be able to kick my ass, but there are two more of us that will fight for her. You want to take us all on? Don’t be stupid.”
Embarrassment doesn’t even begin to describe how I am feeling right now.
“No—I don’t want to take any of you on, but I want to be with your sister. If that means I have to go through all of you, I will. You want to get together to discuss this in person, I’m happy to meet up. But I’m ending this call, before you say something you can’t take back.” With that, Jackson reaches across to end the call and squeezes my hand.
“Jackson, I’m sorry.”
“Rookie, he’s just looking out for you and I can respect that, but if he talks to you like that again I’m going to teach him some manners.”
I squeeze his hand back and nod. “If we do this—if we are together, I need you to know that my family will need some time to adjust. I’m not just going to break Greg’s heart, I’m going to break my family’s hearts as well. They love him. You’re going to have three very angry brothers out for you.”
“Maddy, they don’t intimidate me. I’m willing to fight in whatever way they want to challenge me. Words or fists, you’re mine and they can’t change that.” Jackson brings my hand to his mouth so he can brush a kiss across my knuckles.
After lunch we head down to the beach. I haven’t been here in a long time and it feels good to breathe in the salty air and feel the warm sand beneath my feet. We take our shoes off and leave them by the wall that separates the sand from the strand, and make our way down to where the ocean laps at the shore. When it’s just the two of us it feels so perfect. He holds my hand as we walk along the shoreline and talk about our families.
We’re meeting up with Abby and Kyle for an early dinner and cocktails, so we brush the sand off of ourselves and retrieve our shoes. I hold Jackson’s hand as we walk along the strand and feel like we’re truly a couple.
“Kyle is a good guy,” Jackson says. “He really is in love with Abby. If she decides to let him go, he’s going to be crushed. He texted me the other night, trying to figure out what he was saying to her that was so wrong. He hates seeing her so sad.”
“She wants him to listen to her so they can make the choice together. I think she’ll be devastated if their story ends here.”
We enter the restaurant that overlooks the beach. Jackson wraps his arm around my shoulder. The giddy feeling I get from his touch quickly comes to a stop when Tina, the bubbly cheerleader, appears as the hostess. Great, just what I need. I wait for Jackson to back off but he doesn’t, keeping his arm around me, even as I try to put some space between us.
When she turns to show us to our table, Jackson whispers in my ear, “No running, rookie.”
Tina shows us to our table with a toss of the menus and then smirks as she tells us to enjoy our meal. She’s pretty intense, considering she and Jackson were never serious. I’m about to ask a few questions, but Abby and Kyle are making their way to our table and I wave as they get close. They seem good tonight, with Abby nuzzling up against him and even cracking a few jokes as we talk about the day.
The conversation between Kyle and Jackson makes me laugh; the two men could not be any more different. Kyle is into computer programming while Jackson loves sports and spends as much time as he can outdoors. It doesn’t seem to matter, and Abby and I start a quiet conversation as they fall into a discussion about whether Vegas oddsmakers should be replaced by software programs. On the outside, we look like two couples in love, sharing a fun night together. On the inside, we’re four young adults, struggling to find our places in life and with each other.
After dinner, Jackson and Kyle head to the bathroom, leaving Abby and me alone. “We haven’t talked about the whole thing in days, Madeline. It’s as if we’re in denial. I talked to my mom and she gave me the guilt trip about what it would look like if I moved to another state to cohabitate with a boyfriend. I swear she and my grandmother still live in the fifties.”
I laugh but totally understand what it feels like.
Kyle makes his way back to the table just as I excuse myself. When I round the corner to the restroom entrance across from the kitchen, I see Jackson leaning on a wall, talking to Tina. My stomach rolls and I quickly duck into the bathroom so neither of them can see me. I take my time and try to tell myself it’s nothing. The Jackson I love is different with me, but I can still hear Ben and Greg in my head.
I hope I’m making the right choice but can’t help but to have doubts when the evidence is right in front of me. Am I being naive? I’ve never had to deal with this before. With Greg, things are so easy. He would never want a scandal so he’d never be out talking to an ex-girlfriend in a way that would look suspicious. When he leaves for business trips it’s never a thought in my head that there might be other women. What would life with Jackson be like? Would I live in constant worry? Would a marriage with a man like him stand a chance of making it?
When I leave the bathroom, Jackson is back at our table. I decide I need to keep my mouth shut and trust him to be the man I want him to be. We pay our bill and say our goodbyes at the door. Jackson and I walk back to my car as the sun begins to set over the water. It’s in the last few minutes of daylight that we enter my apartment and make our way to my room. Jackson empties his pockets onto my dresser and goes to the kitchen for a bottle of water.
I lie down on my bed, trying hard to ignore his phone as it buzzes on the dresser—flashing a message from Tina.
Chapter Fourteen
I must have fallen asleep last night before Jackson came back into the room because I wake up under the covers in my clothes. Jackson is in the shower and I lie awake in bed, trying to persuade myself that I’m enough for him. I’m not very convincing.
I pretend everything is okay when he kisses me goodbye on his way out to train with the team. Before we leave my room, he stops at the jewelry box that belonged to my mother and touches the little dancer on top. “Why doesn’t she dance, rookie?” he asks me and I shrug my shoul
ders.
“My aunt says that my mother played her too much.” I trace my finger over her small frame and wonder what song she once danced to. “I wish she would dance for me.”
“Let me take her home and see what I can do.” Jackson traces a line from my forehead to the tip of my nose and then leans in and gives me a kiss. “No promises, but I might be able to fix her.”
I nod yes and my heart allows me to hope for a minute that he can fix her and that we’re okay. I didn’t read the messages on his phone last night, but I wanted to.
“I’ll see you tonight, Maddy.” Jackson tucks the jewelry box under his arm and picks up his bag. He gives me one last kiss and then leaves my apartment.
It’s time to check back in with Greg, so I curl up in my bed and make the call. If I had called him yesterday, I would have told him I wanted to be with Jackson. Today, I decide maybe his prediction is coming true. His phone rings a few times and then his assistant, Emily, picks up.
“Hey, Madeline, it’s Emily. Greg can’t get to his phone right now. He’s stepped outside to walk a few of the contractors around the site. Do you want to leave a message?” I shake my head no, but then realize she can’t see me.
“No, Emily. I just thought I would try to catch him. How is he?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. He seems okay, but he looks tired.” I can hear empathy in her voice and I hope he’ll confide in her while he is away from me. I miss our friendship and know he must miss having someone to talk to, also.
“I’ll try to call again soon. Thanks.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way into the shower so I can start my day. When I get out I see that my phone has a message from Caleb.
Caleb: Hey, Sis. Sorry about lunch the other day. Ben can be intense.
Me: Lunch sucked! Ben passed intense years ago.
Caleb: Meet me for lunch today. No grilling you for state secrets, I promise. ;)
Me: I would love to.
We decide to meet at a little sandwich shop close to campus. He looks more relaxed today, wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead of his suit. His arms engulf me in a hug when I get to his table. We sit down and order our sandwiches.
“I’ve really missed you, Caleb.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Madeline. Ben is all spun up over this Greg and Jackson thing and has been making everyone’s life hell for days. He’s so sure Jackson is wrong for you that he can’t look past what he’s heard and see the big picture.” The waitress brings our drinks and smiles at Caleb. Caleb returns her smile, causing her to blush.
“What is the big picture?” I ask. “Greg’s an aspiring business mogul and Jackson is a jock. The big picture is that I don’t have a chance of convincing Ben and Dad that Jackson is worthy.” I twist my straw in my soda and take a deep breath. “I don’t even know if I want to anymore.”
“Trouble in paradise?” Caleb kicks my foot under the table and my gaze meets his again. “Do you even know what you’ve got yourself into, little sis?” He knows something; I can tell by his tone and the way he’s looking at me.
“What do you mean? I got myself into a messed-up situation. I got myself into a big risk of heartbreak. I got myself into trouble with the family—”
“You got yourself into a relationship with the heir to the Rider Corporation.” Caleb drops the information like a bomb and the blood drains from my face, then rushes back with a wave of heat.
The Rider Corporation, a direct competitor of my family’s business. No wonder Ben is freaking out. The dinner conversation with Jackson’s mother suddenly makes more sense; I can’t believe I never connected the dots.
Caleb continues, “When Jackson’s father passed away, he left the business to his son, but under the care of the shareholder board until the son turns twenty-five. In four years, Jackson will be the owner and CEO of Rider Corporation.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “Why wouldn’t he have told me?”
Caleb chuckles and leans back in the booth. “I wouldn’t kid you about something like this. We’ve been watching Rider Corporation for years. We know all of the shareholders and board members—we just didn’t know the relation between the company and your Jackson until a few days ago.”
I close my eyes and cover my face, leaning both elbows on the table. “I don’t think he’s just my Jackson.” It is a whisper but Caleb catches it.
“What do you mean?” He is leaning into the table now, too.
“He’s been talking to another girl. A cheerleader he used to hook up with. Ben might be right—an ass, but a correct one.”
Caleb pats my hand until I cross my arms and lean against the back of the booth. “Madeline, don’t get ahead of yourself. He has girls around him all the time—that just goes with the territory of being a college football player.”
I nod but still can’t get the evidence out of my mind. “I saw him talking to her two separate times, and last night she was texting him.” I feel stupid for admitting that I might have fought for him for nothing.
“Hang on, I need to call the CNN hotline…” Caleb reaches for his phone in jest. “You mean he talked to a female and then received a text from her? Shit, this is terrible!”
I giggle and am grateful for this easy banter between us having been restored. “Shut up. I’m serious.” I slap his arm just as the waitress brings our sandwiches.
Her face drops and I realize she thinks we are together.
“He’s my brother.” I say as I grab a fry off the plate.
“Oh, I… it’s not really my business.” Her cheeks turn pink as she tries to serve us quickly and get out of our section.
“Madeline, leave the poor girl alone. Did you see how nervous you just made her?” Caleb reaches for the ketchup and puts some on both of our plates.
I wink and scoop a handful of fries into my mouth, smiling widely so he can see them in my teeth.
He laughs. “Oh, my God, Madeline. You’re just like Mom.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“She was always messing around like that, trying to make us laugh,” he says wistfully. “I know you don’t remember a lot about her, but you remind me of her all the time. Table manners aside, she would be proud of you.” We finish our lunches and he walks me to my car, giving me one last hug before we go our separate ways. I drive home thinking about what Caleb has told me and what it could mean for my relationship with Jackson.
When I get back to the apartment, Kyle is sitting on the couch, waiting for Abby as she gets ready to go out. I sit down and put my feet up on the coffee table next to his. It’s quiet for a minute as we watch the sports highlights, but when a commercial begins to play, Kyle nudges my arm.
“I almost forgot. Jackson stopped by before the gym and left something in your room for you. I’m supposed to tell you he can’t come over tonight because the team is flying out in the morning for a meet and greet to bring in some money to the athletic department and he has to get some sleep. He wanted to see you, but when Abby told him you were with Caleb he didn’t want to interrupt.”
I’m on my feet in seconds, rushing down the hall to my bedroom. The jewelry box is sitting on my bed, along with a very old envelope. There is a note on the box in Jackson’s writing.
Dear Maddy,
It didn’t take much to make her dance. Turns out there was an envelope tucked into a little compartment beneath her and it was blocking the motor that makes her spin. With a little oil and some tender coaxing—she dances again! Her music is “Somewhere my Love.” I can remember my mother listening to that song over and over when I was little. Can’t wait to find out what’s in that envelope.
Wish I could spend time with you before I leave but I have to be ready for the flight. I’ll think of you every minute I’m gone and I’ll see you first thing Wednesday when I get back. Listen to her music, rookie.
“Till then, my sweet, think of me now and then
Godspeed, my love, till you are mine again!”
—Paul Francis Webster
>
I love you,
Jackson
I open the box and listen as the music begins to play. I watch in a trance as the dancer twirls around in front of me. I wait for the song to finish, and then close the lid and pick up the envelope.
The glue has long since detached from the closure. I carefully removed the old photograph of me and my brothers. It must have been taken just before she passed away. I’m only about three in the picture. Each of us has our arms around each other and we’re smiling at the camera. They’ve always taken such great care of me.
I can’t help but smile as I run my finger across the glossy surface. We were all so young when we lost her. We’ve just been doing the best we can to look after each other since she’s been gone. If I thought one of them was making a choice that would lead to heartbreak and struggle, I’d be doing the same thing that they’re doing. I hope in the end we all find happiness and our decisions don’t tear us apart as a family.
I sit down on the edge of my bed. What if it boils down to this choice—my family or Jackson? Am I really prepared to make it? Have I thought of what that would mean for me and for them? It’s so much bigger than the two of us, isn’t it? We don’t have the luxury of falling in love and just seeing where it goes. Our family names carry a lot of responsibility. If he’s to take over the Rider chain of hotels and I’m obviously a huge part of my family’s hotel business, what would that mean for our businesses and all the people we employ? What would it mean if our relationship ever failed?
Jackson kept his family business from me for a reason. It changes things. It complicates us. He knew that. I fell in love with the idea of him, but now I feel like I don’t know him at all. If he could keep something this big from me, what else don’t I know? If my brothers have been watching his corporation because he’s a rival, it’s safe to assume he’s had his eye on us too. Maybe this feeling of familiarity was too good to be true. Maybe Ben was right all along. I’ve only been seeing what I’ve wanted to see and the signs that he isn’t who I’ve thought he was have been there all along.