CHAPTER XXIII.
THE ABSENT-MINDED JUDGE.
Burnbrae, the home of the Barings, with its productive acres fringed byvine-clad vales and hills, had by an irrevocable event passedirredeemably out of the possession of its embarrassed owner, andheart-broken the old man yielded his tenure to the new master. Themortgage debt and taxes, like omniverous caterpillars, began to eat awayat its four corners at one and the same time. Mr. Baring could onlyawait the inevitable hour with the saddest apprehensions. For himself itwas a matter of little consequence, for like the sea-tossed sailor, hecould discern within the length of a cable the ultimate haven,land-locked and tranquil; but for his two daughters who would survivehim the stroke was almost heart-crushing.
The forced sales of beautiful homesteads like Burnbrae, in the days ofreconstruction were not much of an incident; when there was no haltingby that unbrigaded army that was laying waste field and plantation, andscourging the land into nakedness; when by the extra judicial processesof assimilation and absorption the spoils system was budding into avigorous life and the spoilsmen were animated, remorseless andpersevering.
Around this home there were memories dear and tender, trellissed in theaffections of the Barings; incense came forth from chambers and bowers,and out yonder where the smooth white stones glisten in the moonlightlike platoons of white-gowned maidens, the Baring generations lay inunbroken files.
It is a sad thing to see a home, like a worthless chattel, under thehammer of a callous-hearted auctioneer; to hear him cry going, going,going, with as much delight as if he were parting company with apestilence; but alas! with the owner it is like a judgment of outlawryto pass the keys, the symbolical title, to the purchaser, who isanimated by no kind sentiment; who sees no tears and hears no sighs."Going, going, going!" There slips out of the master's control thenursery where infancy was cradled, swathed in the manifolding of loveand tenderness.
I see in retrospection a beautiful young mother, with a redundance ofsoft black hair as velvety as the wing of a raven, with her foot uponthe rocker smiling so sweetly upon the sleepy-eyed child, who arousesher little tired self only long enough to whisper dreamily,
"Sing please, again, mama; sing Dix--" and falls asleep. And then thereis the old conservatory just under mother's window, aromatic withmemories. Mother called it her "Flowery kingdom," because every morningand every evening she entered her throne-room there with its dais ofjaponicas and camelias; and there were her little maids of honor inrusset and gold and carmine glistening in dewy diamonds and pearls; andthey would thrust back their silky night-caps and their little eyeswould be bright, as they peeped out of tiny hoods of blue and purple,red and white. Ah, this was a royal realm of the queen mother, and thoselittle star rayed princesses were so loyal in their beauty andfragrance. And this, too, like a beautiful pantomime, was passing away,leaving only shadows that, like some horrid dream, were darkening thesoul. Oh, the charm, the aroma of the vine-clad conservatory, dearmother's "Flowery kingdom" and her little royal maids?
And there is the old drawing-room with a bountiful bouquet of memories.This hallowed chamber was so often refreshed in the golden twilight bymother's presence, by mother's devotions, by mother's voice as itblended softly with the harmonies of the old harpsichord; and it seemsas if there were sweet chimes out of doors in the stilly air, andperhaps the stars were re-enforcing the old songs with whisperingsymphonies.
Then there was the chamber just next to mother's, embowered in columbineand the trailing arbutus where there are treasured still old letters,books and shoes and articles of vertu that belonged to Walter; justwhere he placed them before he enlisted in the Confederate cavalry;before he died and was rudely buried without a winding sheet, under theclods of the Shenandoah valley, that day that Stonewall Jackson unfurledthe star barred banner in the streets of Winchester; to rest, aye, torest until the bugler of the skies shall pipe the reveille. Going,going, going. It is the knell of happy days; the dirge of hearts crushedby sacrifices, sorrows; it is the thud of the cold clay upon the coffinof hope; the shroud that a remorseless destiny has flung around ouridols as they fall one by one from their pedestals. "Going, going,going," the echo is thrust back upon the bruised heart from the whitecold stones out yonder under the Mulberry. Perhaps Mr. Baring'sdaughters, who planted about these sacred mounds the star eyed daisiesand the lily white violets, never thought of the dance that should go onand on to the fascination of lute and harp in the resounding halls, whenthe stranger should occupy in his right dear old Burnbrae. Sobewildering are the changes in this life. It seems to them but yesterdaythat their lovely sister, a maiden of sixteen years, was laid away bythe side of their mother, to arise one day transfigured and glorified;and now they were going to tell the old home with its cherishedmemorials good-bye; and the old graveyard and mother's vine clad"Flowery kingdom" too. Ah, every footfall is like an echo from somedeserted shrine; and there is no kind voice to bid them "come again."The little twittering birds are piping the refrain of the sad, sad songof the auctioneer. Others enter now with the keys of a lawful dominion;they unlock the dead chambers, but the fragrance of happy lives is gonelike the breath exhaled from the nostril. The stranger never heard theold harpsichord with its responsive chords, as they were swept bymother's lily white hands and almost syllabled her angel voice. Theywere never charmed by that sweet sunny voice that in so many twilightshas been singing vespers in heaven; they know naught of the dead whiteashes that lay in the unlighted furnaces of the poor souls, who aresaying now so tenderly, so tearfully, to their old home and itsmemorials, its idols, "Good-bye, good-bye!"
Judge Bonham, the purchaser, had been highly distinguished in the civicand military employments of the country. Like his old friend, ColonelSeymour, he was with Lee at Spottsylvania, Gettysburg and Appommattox,and like his colleague in the humiliations of the hour he had declinedto "bend the pregnant hinges of the knee that thrift may followfawning." To say that under all circumstances he maintained aperpendicular, from which there was no swerving backwards or forwards orto the right, or the left would be a falsification of biography. He,like all other mortals upon this terrene had his passions, when histemper, despite curbs and restraints, almost overmastered him. Judicialexperiences had affected his manners, so that he appeared austere andunfriendly; but he had a kind heart, open-handed to a fault, true to hisconvictions, his friends, his God.
There were curves and lines in the physical man here and there thatappeared misplaced and misshapen. His long stringy hair or what therewas left of it, was of a carrotty color, his nose was aquiline withunnatural projections, and his mouth though a little rigid in outlinedisplayed, when animated, a beautiful set of teeth.
He was a very scholarly man; a religious man too, and entertainedthroughout his life strong Calvinistic convictions. It was strangeindeed that a gentleman so exemplary in life, should sometimes run thehazard of being suspected as a rogue by those who were ignorant of theinfirmity that harassed him all of his years. When meditating upon thisplayfulness of nature he would observe confidentially, that in anycommunity where he was not known he would be oftener in the State'sprison than without it.
"Better a Bedouin in the trackless desert than a man who is foreverrunning the gauntlet at such a risk," he said embarrassingly.
There was the gossip of the town in which he lived as biting as the hoarfrost, revamped and magnified to his hurt. When the gossipping spinstersheard that the judge was reinforcing his natural attractiveness by theglossiest and finest of raiment, coming out of the wardrobe like thebutterfly out of the chrysalis, they hurried to and fro among theneighbors, like magpies chattering and twittering, and they laid thepoor fellow under the power of an anodyne upon the cold marble slab, andwith scalpels scarified him horribly, as some women only can do. "Didyou ever! Did you ever!" came a refrain from puckered lips.
"Who would have believed it!" exclaimed Miss Jerusha Timpkins, as sherolled up her dancing eyes and clasped her bony hands as if inexpostulation.
"The i
dea! The idea!" ejaculated Miss Narcissa Scoggins.
"That man going to marry!" they all exclaimed in chorus. "My, my, my!"
"And pray who told you so?" asked Miss Jemima Livesay with a bitingexpression.
"Why, where have you been, Jemima, all these months, you ain't heard it?It is the town talk. Why, Amarylla Hedgepeth she heard it straight fromthe knitting society. Squire Jiggetts told old Deacon Bobbett that thejudge had spoken to him to marry him to the beautiful Alice Seymour, andDeacon Bobbett told his wife, and Mrs. Bobbett told Sarah Marlow, andSarah Marlow told Polly Ann Midgett, and Polly Ann ups and tells MarthaGallop, and that's how the news gets to us strait."
"Well sir!" exclaimed Miss Serepta Hightower, forgetting she wasspeaking to old maids who had a loathing for any expression thatsuggested a man or the name or the memory of a man, except the man theywere prodding and scarifying. "I wouldn't believe it if the news camepine blank from the clouds; that I wouldn't!" and she gave emphasis tothe utterance by the malicious and vehement stroking of one skinny fistagainst the other.
"Why, that man?" she exclaimed with horror, "Why, he would forget hismarriage vows before he ever made them. Why when he led MalindyHartsease a blushing bride to the altar thirty years ago; why, don't youall remember that he sauntered out of the church by his lone lorn self,and the preacher had to go to his house in the dead of night in therain and tell him that he had left his bride in the church crying hervery eyeballs out?"
"The monster! the monster!" all exclaimed and skinny hands and skinnyarms and skinny necks were tossing and swaying automatically.
"Of course I warnt there myself (nor I either, came interruptions fromall the spinsters) but I heard my mother, poor soul, say that she wasright there and that she never felt so sorry for a poor human being inall her life as she did for poor Malindy; but she has gone to her restnow, thank the Lord!" and a dozen handkerchiefs instantly gravitatedtoward a dozen hysterical faces.
"I pity any poor soul that ties herself to such a man as that from thebottom of my heart," said Miss Anastasia Perkins in great sympathy. "Whyshe won't know whether she is married or not, neither will he; just aslikely as not he will go courting somebody else with his poor wife asitting back in the chimney corner in the ashes."
"And there is another pint I haint ever said anything about, but I thinkit ought to be known here betwixt ourselves and not to go any further"said, Miss Martha Gallop "but the way he treated his poor wife Malindywas a purified scandal. Now I aint a telling you this as coming from me,for the good Lord knows when that thing happened, I was a little teensyweensy tot, (with a coquettish toss of her antique head) but old auntMehetibel Parsley knows all about it, and I've heard her say over andover again that when Judge Bonham and Malindy would be riding in theircarriage to meeting that he would forget where he was going and wouldfetch up right against the poor house three miles or more in the otherdirection, and that poor mournful woman would be a sitting back in thecarriage with eyes as red as a gander's, and a looking pine plank likeshe was coming from a funeral."
"Oh the cruel, cruel monster!" came another refrain, and skinny fistswould double up and strike against ancient knees like resounding boards,and the spinsters would all heave great, tumultuous sighs, and corkscrewcurls, like spiral springs, would dance up and down mechanically upontheir well oiled pivots.
Judge Bonham was quite nervously gravitating toward a situation thatrequired great force of character; a situation always extra hazardousand demanding the exercise of every resource.
This phlegmatic man was running the biblical parallel, dreaming dreamsand seeing visions; not the distorted creations of the night-mare, butbeautiful little crayons of love, swinging like tiny acrobats from blueribbons on the walls, and descending like vagrant sunbeams upon thevermillion carpet; composite faces, too, with bright golden hair andbrighter blue eyes.
The old gentleman sat back in his easy chair, thinking of thecaptivating beauty over at Ingleside, and there were ecstatic littlechimes ringing in his ears, and their chorus always was this,
"I don't care what the gossips say, I shall marry some fair day."
"But am I really in love?" asked he. It was a perplexing question to amind unusually acute and active in the powers of analysis and synthesis;to a mind that could grasp, multiply and divide remainders, particularestates and reversions in all their infiniteness. And the old man beganto ponder seriously upon the situation.
Something quite unusual and quite unnatural was tinkering upon thefrayed out heart strings of the old judge, until the learned man quitebewildered found himself addressing his reflected image in the mirror.
"Quite handsome, upon my honor, Mr. Livy Bonham," he exclaimed, "and shewill say so, too, when she sees her beautiful image in my soft blueeyes; for they will speak to her in love and she will understand."
He turned from the mirror singing sweetly,
"And bright blue was her ee, And for bonnie Annie Laurie I'll lay me doon and dee."
As he passed out of the door with his brand new beaver hat canted to theright side of his head and twirling his gold-headed cane in his hand, hesaid to his old cook,
"Remember, Harriet, to come to me when I return, as I shall have ordersfor a general cleaning of the house by and by, and tell Lije to put thecarriage in apple-pie order."
"I wonder what mars judge do mean?" asked the simple negro as she turnedaway, "Hit pears lak his mind is a purified a wonderin; noboddy haintrid in dat kerrige since ole missis died, und it do seem lak a skandleto rub ole missis' tracks out dis late day. Ef Mars Livy is agwine toget married he orter dun und dun it soon arter old missis died, den derewudn't ben no skandle in de lan lak dere is agwine to be now. Folkseshigh und low is ergwine to look skornful, wid dere fingers pinted at degal, und ax deyselves how cum she jined herself to ole marser, wid wunfoot in de grave, jes to suck sorrer arter he is dun und gon."
The man of fifty-five years was met at the door of Ingleside by thefaithful old butler, who bowed almost to the floor as he greeted thejudge, who, placing his hat into Ned's hands asked suspiciously if hisyoung mistress were at home?
"Deed she is, mars jedge," exclaimed Ned obsequiously.
"Miss Alice is always at home to er yung gemman lak you is sar. Und sheis diked monstrous, mars jedge, in lilacks und princess fedders undjonquils, jes lak she cum outen de observatory, und she is speckincumpany dis werry minit, und I spek yu knose who dat is sar," said theold negro as he dropped his voice almost to a whisper, laughing andsmirking the while.
"Angelic creature!" exclaimed the old man aside, as he began to feel acreepiness up and down his back like great caterpillars upon the march."What infinite comprehension!" he exclaimed again as he seemed to jerkspasmodically; "What an affectionate appreciation! Doubtless expectingme as if my arrival had been telegraphed from Burnbrae."
"Mars jedge," asked Ned "dus you ame dis wisit for yung missis or olemarser?"
"Undoubtedly, Ned, this visit is for your mistress," said the judge ashe rubbed his hands with energy. "When my plans are arranged I willinterview your marster--perhaps in the very near future."
"Eggzackly, yung marser," replied Ned as he twirled the judge's newbeaver in his hand. "Mout I mak jes wun kurreckshun, sar, fore yu gitstoo fur?" asked Ned.
"Why, certainly; what is it Ned?"
The old negro placed his hands to his lips as if to keep back the soundof his own voice and asked in a whisper, while a smile played around thecorners of his mouth, "Is you sho yus all rite, boss?"
"Why certainly," the judge replied with a degree of impatience "Do yousuppose I have come out of the low grounds?"
"Lans saks, yung marser, dis ole nigger don't ames to inturrup a gemmanof your sability. But boss yu dun und flung yo oberkote on de rack, duzyu ame to go into the parlor whar yung missis is wid all herhallibooloos ur dout ary weskote ur koller udder?" and the old negroturned away his head and tittered, while the judge with theembarrassment of a suspected felon was looking and feeling for themi
ssing garments; and he turned his ashen face with a hard grimace tothe old negro as if he had been the cause of this particular act ofabsent-mindedness and said angrily.
"Ned if you ever mention this matter to man or beast your life shall paythe forfeit."
"Deed I won't, mars jedge, dat I won't, kase dat mout fling de fat in defarr."
"What shall I do, Ned?" asked the judge confidentially.
"Hit pears lak dat de onliess fing yu can do now is to slip outen dis dorite easy fore ole Jube sees yu und wait out in de piazzy twell I fetchwun of mars Jon's weskotes und collars, und den yu kin march in sar asbiggerty as when yu was de jedge in de kote."
"No, I will go back home; and shall I come again Ned?"
"Sartainly mars jedge, sartainly sar," said Ned, bowing and scraping."Ef you seed all dat finery Miss Alice has got strowed around her neckund all dem white und pink und yellow jonquills und sweetbetsies undsnowballs und princess fedders on top of her bed, und all dun und dunfor yu mars jedge, dere wudn't be but seben tater ridges twixt dis gratehouse und yourn; yu'd be pearter dan any rabbit in de mashes agwine unda cummin."
The foolish widower passed out of the door and out of the gate singingto himself,
"Her brow is like the snowdrift, Her throat is like the swan."
His feelings toward the peerless beauty were stoutly reinforced by theobservation of the negro "und all dun und dun for yu mars jedge."Clarissa ever and always upon the lookout in these suspicious times,hearing only snatches of the conversation in the hall between the judgeand her husband called out imperiously,
"Ned cum to de do er minit," Ned in his slouchy way, giggling like anidiot, advanced toward Clarissa.
"Whot ailed dat white man in dem fine cloes und stove-pipe hat agwineouten de gate?" and Ned only giggled the more.
"Don't yu heer me axing you Ned?" stormed Clarissa.
Ned still giggling with both hands to his black mouth replieddistrustfully.
"I gin mars jedge my solum wurd dat I wudn't woice dat diffikilt twixtme und him to man nur cattle beastis nudder."
"Woice what diffikilt Ned?" asked Clarissa in her provoking way. "Youknows I haint no man nur cattle beastis nudder; whot maks yu sotantilizin? Ef you haint agwine to tell me I'm agwine rite strate toMiss Alice; I knows she will mak yu tell her." Ned buried his face inboth hands and then peeping through his fingers sheepishly observed,
"Now Clarsy you knows you is monstrous handy noratin ebery blessed fingyou heers to tuther fokses; now ef I ups und tells yu, und it gits tomars jedge's ears, whose agwine to stand twixt me und him? Tell me dat."
"I'm agwine to stan betwixt yu und de jedge, dats who," replied Clarissaconsequentially.
"Oh Lordy! Yu ergwine to stan twixt me und him," interrogated old Nedcontemptuously "Jes as well have ole Jube er stanin twixt me und dejedge ebery bit und grane."
Clarissa thought for a moment and replied with infinite satisfaction.
"Miss Alice is ergwine ter stan twixt yu und de jedge, dats who."
"Dat mout do," said Ned, "und ef de jedge axes me about it I'm agwine tosend him rite strate to Miss Alice, und let dem two fite it out twixtdey selves," and Ned with great circumstantiality placed Clarissa inpossession of the facts in the case.
"Fo de King!" exclaimed Clarissa after Ned had concluded. "I'm ergwinerite strate und tell Miss Alice."
"Und den dars is gwine to be a rumpus in dis grate house," said Ned withdisgust as Clarissa shuffled down the hall to her young mistress'schamber.
Nothing baffled by his misadventure, and realizing that faint heartne'er won fair lady, the judge reappeared at the hall door of Inglesidewith his beaver hat canted on the other side of his head, and rang thedoor bell quite tentatively, as he felt that Ned would watch for hiscoming, and would admit him without knocking.
"Now Ned," the judge remarked, as he passed his beaver to the old negro,"examine me from head to foot and tell me if I'm all right." Ned did ashe was commanded in great detail of inspection and observed,
"Yes sar, dat yu is, mars jedge, I neber seed such a portly yung man inall my days sar. Pend upon it boss, Miss Alice is ergwine to bite at thehook fore yu flings out de bate. Ef I mout tell yu de truf you looks lakyu was a stepping into de marrage sallymony dis werry minit und I don'tspeck nofin else but dem yallow und white snowballs und sweet betsiesis ergwine to drap rite down und perish on yung misses hed when yu putyour little foot in dat dar parlor;" and the vain old man now fullyreassured, followed the old butler into the parlor, the latter remarkingin a highly patronizing way.
"Now, mars jedge, I'm ergwine to set yu down in de bridegroom's cheer,kase I knows hit is ergwine to be yourn fore dis yeer is dun und gon,und den I'm ergwine to be yourn too," he laughingly continued. "Kase Ibelongs to yung missis und yung missis belongs to de jedge. Ha, ha, ha!"
After Ned had retired to the hall the vain old man, after looking allaround him, stealthily arose from his seat and surveyed his person in anelaborate mirror over the mantle piece, arranging his hair, beard, andeyebrows in every detail of evenness and position, and was thusassaulted by the bewitching beauty of Ingleside without a picket orskirmish line, and with his back to the conqueror of hearts. The dilemmawas excessively embarrassing and as he turned to speak to the queenlybeauty he began to stammer and quite unconsciously to make apologies.
"I called this morning, madam," he began, "er, er, er, to inquire afterthe health of your father. You don't know er, er, er, how solicitous Ihave been about him of late. How is he this morning?"
"He is very much better, I thank you, sir," replied Alice with an effortat self control, "and if you will excuse me I will inform him that youare here."
"I beg you will er, er, er"--stammered the judge with an uncontrollableenergy.
"Oh, I am sure it will do him so much good to see you," interruptedAlice, as she gracefully bowed herself out of the room, leaving thebewildered lover to destroy with huge battering rams the beautifulcastle which his ardent fancy and old Ned's sycophancy had erected.
"In olden times," soliloquized the judge, as he brought his clenchedhand with force upon his knee, "kings alone had their fools; and here Iam playing the miserable fool in the presence of an unsophisticatedmaid. Father indeed! Why did I ask about her father, blasted idiot thatI am?"
The old judge was still scourging himself with the thongs of emphaticrebuke, when to his surprise another judge entered the parlor with thebeautiful Alice upon his arm.
Colonel Seymour and the two judges had met before in the court room, andwere now enjoying themselves in an old-fashioned way in the elaborateparlor of the old mansion.
Judge Bonham was very delicate and refined in his compliments of hisfriend Judge Livingstone, who in the niceties of the law "could divide ahair 'twixt the north and north-west side." He was the judge who hadextracted the poison sacs from the fangs of reconstruction; the judgewho had stampeded the vile and vicious hordes that thronged and pollutedthe temple of justice. As Judge Bonham looked at the man, he felt thatthe entreaty of the South had been answered by the Power that rules inheaven and earth.
"God give us men; a time like this demands Great minds, strong hearts, true faith and willing hands; Men whom the lust of office cannot buy, Men who have honor and will not lie."
These gentlemen had scarcely begun to sap the foundations of thesuperstructure of reconstruction, when dinner was announced by thebeautiful hostess, who stood in the door, as judge Bonham declared,encircled in a cincture of angelic grace. It was a bountiful meal; therewere cheer and laughter and polite jest at the board, and as thesedistinguished gentlemen were bowing themselves out of the dining room,Judge Bonham was observed by Clarissa to take a napkin ring from hisplate and put it in his pocket; with rolled up eyes and wide open mouth,Clarissa looked like a black idol in a Chinese temple. The guests againassembled in the library and Alice busied herself in arranging the tablefor tea.
"What sorter man is dat tother jedge Miss Alice?" asked Clarissa in anauthoritative kind of a
way. "I don't mean dat shiny-eyed jedge, but datman dat has got dem grate big warts on his nose. Ef dat ar jedge cum todis grate house many mo times ole missis silver is agwine to be allgone. She tole me to look arter her plunder. I don't ame to sass dat arjedge Miss Alice, but de fust time I ketches him to hissef I'm ergwineto ax him please turn dem dere pockets rong side outtards und lemme seewhat he has got stowed erway in dere. Dem kote skeerts haint er bulginout datterway fur nuffin. Twixt dat secesh man und de scalyhorgs, wun isjamby ez big er fellum ez de tuther; he ergwine erbout punishin tutherfokses for gwine rong, und he, yu mout say, is er conwick hissef. Inebber seed wot yu mout call a high quality white pusson steal yo fingsrite fore yo eyes in de broad open daylight lak dat."
"You must not talk that way about Judge Bonham, Clarissa," rejoinedAlice with irritation. "I am ashamed of you! What would father say if hewere to hear you accuse his guest of stealing!" Alice continuedrebukingly.
"Well, Miss Alice," said Clarissa apologetically, "It mout be dat Ispoke too brash; seems lak do ef he was a sho nuff jedge he orter havemo manners dan agwine erbout shoolikin und pilferin lak dat; speks efdat white man was sarched yu mout find udder wallybles belonging to disgrate house in his hine pockets dis werry minit; yu dun und heerd me saydem dar kote skeerts aint a bulging out dat dar way fur nuffin."Clarissa with malice prepense was arraigning the judge upon a cruelindictment, a prejudiced prosecution and a predetermined verdictevidently. There was but one plea that could avail the judge if Clarissawere polled as the jury, and that would require the immediaterestitution of the stolen property, and an unconditional withdrawal fromold marser's great house; or to punctuate the verdict in Clarissa'semphatic way,
"Don't yu never set yo foot in dis heer grate house no mo, epseps yuwant ole Jube to wour yu up with wun moufful, ef dem is all de mannersyu got."
"Permit me to ask you sir," observed Judge Bonham to Judge Livingstone,"if the conditions prevailing in the South are not entirely unlike thosethat obtain in the North?"
"Yes, indeed," replied Judge Livingstone. "It would be difficult torealize that we live under the same Federal government. Society in thiscountry seems to be thoroughly disorganized. I can imagine that somegreat upheaval of nature has widely separated the South from the North."
"I presume," said Judge Bonham, "that you have seen southern characterin all of its transformations in your courts?"
"Yes sir, and very frequently in its most abhorrent and disgustingforms. There is such a variety of indictable frauds and many of themgrowing out of the rudimentary education of the negroes, that this fact,in my opinion, is the most cogent argument against their education."
"I am very decidedly of that opinion," replied Judge Bonham withemphasis. "I believe if it were not for the criminal class of youngnegroes there would be very few indictments in the courts; but as thematter stands they are congested to that extent that our jails arealways over crowded and so are our dockets."
"Do you know, sir," replied Judge Livingstone, "that there is a side tothis ever-shifting panorama that challenges my profoundest sympathy? Togive you an illustration: A few days ago, in this county of F., I saw inthe dock a decayed old negro, who staggered into the bar from sheerexhaustion. He was dying piece-meal from starvation. He was indicted forthe larceny of a peck of sweet potatoes. The prosecuting witness was awhite man of about forty years of age, and was what is provinciallyknown as a scalawag. I do not exaggerate very grossly when I say that ablacksmith would have hammered a plowshare out of his hard face. The oldnegro was convicted; he had no substantial defence. I said to him, 'Iwant you to tell me why you took the potatoes.' The poor old negroleaned heavily with both hands upon his staff, his unshorn white locksgiving him the appearance of a 'sheik of the desert,' and raising hisharrowed face, that was wet with tears, tremblingly addressed the courtas he grasped the railing for support, 'Mars Jedge, I hab neber nied disscusashun, und I tole de boss man ef he wudn't sen me to de jail I wudwurk hit out ef hit tuck seben yurs. I libs erway ober yander cross demash. Dar is my ole marser a settin dar. He noes I'm er tellin yu denaked truf, und God in hebben noes I wudn't tell yu nary lie. Dar isfoteen moufs in my fambly er cryin fer wittles ebery day de good Lawdsends; und Malindy, dat's my dorter, haint struck a lick o' wurk fur modan er hole yur; und dar's my growed-up son, dat's Joe, he got droundedin de crick nigh unto er month ago; und dar's my po wife, dat's Mimy,she tuck sick und died when she heerd dat Joe had drounded hissef, undnobody in de wurrel ter git ary moufful o' wittles epsep me; und I wasso hongry, und de chillun wuz er cryin twell I wuz moest stracted; und Ihad a grate big bone fellyun on dis heer han'--dar tis, rite dar--so Icudn't wurk, und I went to de boss man, standin rite dar fo yo eyes, undaxed him fer two er free little stringy taters; und he cussed me unddriv me er way, und called me er ole free issu dimmycrat nigger; und myole marser libed so fur erway I cudn't git nary wurd to him; und den, ezI wuz ergwine outen de plantashun, I seed two er free little stringytaters, mout be fo taters, er lyin on de tip eend o' de ridge in debrilin sun arter de taters had bin dug outen de patch, und I didn't finkit wuz no harm to nobody, und I tuck um und toted um home in my pocketter de po little parishin yunguns, und--'
"Here the old negro broke down and cried as if his heart would break,and then wiping his eyes with his ragged coat sleeve, he continued,
"Und den dey tuck me und put me in de jale; und I axed de high shurriffter please git wurd ter ole marser whar I wuz karserated, und he nebersont no wurd ter ole marser. Marser Jedge, I'm ergwine on eighty-freeyurs ole, und ef I libs ter see nex Juvember, ef I don't make no mistakeI'll be gwine in er hundred. I aint neber been kotched in no scrapesbefo in my born days, has I ole marser?' Then turning to a white-hairedman on the jury, 'Nary body, white er cullud, hab eber crooked de fingerat enyfing I eber dun rong, und I'm too ole und crazyfied to be sont tode penitenshury, und fur de Lawd's sake, Mars Jedge, please don't sen medar, ef yu duz my po little yunguns will parish ter def, und I axes allyu white gemmen on dat jurrer ter pray fur me, und de jedge too.'
"The court and jury were in tears when this eloquent plea wasconcluded, and the poor old negro, shaking from head to foot, sank backinto his seat, bowed his white head upon his staff and covered his blackface with his old hat. There was a painful pause in the court room;handkerchiefs were freely displayed here and there, and ominous sounds,as if there was weeping, was heard in the great press of people."
"What is your name?" asked the judge, addressing the white-haired jurorin the box to whom the old negro had appealed as his master.
"Grissom," modestly replied the man.
"Do you know the character of this old negro?" asked the judge.
"Very good, very good sir," the juror excitedly repeated, "trustworthyand truthful under all circumstances sir."
After a moment's reflection the judge said to the old negro, "Stand upold man." The negro reeling from weakness raised his bowed, palsiedframe, and repeated after the judge the formula used in recognizances asfollows substantially.
"I duz hereby nowledg dat I is debted to de State of Norf Caliny in desum ob ten millun dollars to be leveled pun my goods und cattle, lansturnements und harry dettyments to be woid on kondishun dat I maks mypussonel pearance fo de jedge of dis kote next Christmas und bide by dejedgement of dis kote."
"Now old negro," said the judge sympathetically, "You can go home."
"Tank yer mars jedge," he exclaimed as he advanced to grasp the judge'shand.
"May the good Lord in heaben allus be rite by your side when yu gibsjedgement." Taking up his old hat he bowed to the gentlemen of the jurywith the observation,
"May nun of you white gemman ever git kotched in such a scrape as dis,epseps yu has dis heer jedge to stand twixt yu und de gallus." He turnedagain to the judge with a smile that played like sheet lightning overhis haggard face and inquired humbly.
"Mars Jedge, duz yu specks me to pay dat passel of munny to de state nexKrismas too?"
At the conclusion of this narrative our mutual friend Judge Bonham ar
oseto take his leave, remarking as he did so "that his visit should be longremembered, that his distinguished friends were so agreeable;" andgrasping the hand of the judge he congratulated him and the country that"a Daniel had come to judgment." When the absent-minded gentlemanarrived home, his servant Lije discovered that the judge's head down tohis ears was immersed in a light derby hat, and he ventured to ask,
"Mars Jedge, what you agwine to do wid dat dar hat? To be sho you didn'tswop your brand new slick beaver off for dat dar camp kittle?"
The judge in his chagrin saw that he had carried away JudgeLivingstone's derby hat and had left his beaver in its place. And hesaid sharply to Lije,
"Go through all of my pockets and see if I have stolen any of theproperty of Colonel Seymour. I dare not trust myself to visit a neighborthat I am not liable to be sent to the penitentiary." The negro Lijeexploiting all suspected places exhibited to the judge a table ring andnapkin, that by some inexplicable means had been transferred to hispocket.
"Gracious heavens!" the humiliated man exclaimed, "Larceny both grandand petit by the eternal! Felony without benefit of clergy! Return thosestolen articles at once, you black scamp, where they belong, and presentmy compliments to Colonel Seymour, and tell him they got into thepossession of Judge Bonham without his knowledge and against his consentand bring back my beaver and cane. Stop! stop!" he exclaimed excitedly,"What is this?" drawing from his vest pocket a small miniature of Alicethat he had seen upon the parlor mantel. "Great Jerusalem!" he fairlyshrieked, "condemned beyond the hope of pardon."
The Broken Sword; Or, A Pictorial Page in Reconstruction Page 25