by Lili Valente
And why would he be hopeful?
Unless…
“I think I…” I trail off, the possibility that Nash might feel the same way I do making my throat so tight it’s hard to get the words out. I take a deep breath and try again. “I was afraid of feeling so much for someone. I had all these dreams of big adventures and faraway places and you…”
“What?” Nash prompts, cupping my face in his hand, the feel of his fingers sliding along my jaw making me shiver.
“It was only a few weeks, when we were kids,” I whisper, fear rising inside of me again. “You’ll think I’m crazy.”
“I already think you’re crazy,” he says. A smile flickers at the edges of his lips, but it vanishes almost immediately. “But maybe I’m crazy, too. You ever think about that?”
He brings his other hand to my face, holding me captive with a gentle intensity that takes my breath away. “Say it, Aria. Please.”
My tongue slips out to wet my lips. “You made me think about what it would be like to have a different kind of adventure. I was starting to feel…” I glance down at his chest to steady myself before meeting his searching gaze again. “I thought we might be something special. The real deal, and that you might be it, you know. The One.” I finish with a shaky laugh, fighting the urge to make a joke.
Yes, it’s scary to put all that out in the open, and I’ve made myself an easy target if Nash is in the mood to take a shot while my guard is down. But I can’t keep running away from the things I feel when I’m with him. Besides, the words are already out. I can’t take them back, and I don’t want to.
I want a second chance, a real second chance.
With Nash.
He’s silent for what feels like forever, his attention shifting from my eyes to my lips and back again, making my pulse race with anxiety until finally he says, “Aria?”
That’s it. Just my name.
“Yes?” I ask.
“I have a crazy idea.”
The huskiness in his voice sends another shiver racing across my skin. “What kind of crazy?” I whisper, my breath coming in shallow gulps as Nash’s mouth moves closer to mine.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was about to—
Oh my god, he is. He’s going to kiss me. For real. Our first honest kiss since we were kids.
“The kind of crazy where we give this a real shot,” he says, so close that his chocolate-scented breath warms my lips, making them tingle.
“You and me?” I ask, refusing to acknowledge the giddy surge of excitement building inside of me until I’m certain.
“You and me. And Skeeter, too. I meant what I said. I love her, and…I could love you, too,” he says, his thumb caressing my cheek. “If you’ll let me.”
My breath rushes out fast, so fast it makes the world spin.
“Too much?” he asks, watching me with careful eyes.
I shake my head. “No. Not too much. Not even a little bit and…”
“And?” he says, so close now that less than an inch of space remains between our lips.
“I could love you, too,” I whisper as he closes the distance between us.
My eyes slide shut with a sigh as his lips slant across mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and melt into him, kissing him with all the hope blooming in my heart, moaning in approval as he pulls me into his arms, crushing me against his chest as his tongue slips between my lips.
The kiss is a far cry from the teasing kisses at dinner, a far cry even from the kiss at the fair. This kiss is pure need, pure hunger. It’s all of me, and all of him, with no walls between us and nothing left to hide.
This kiss…is on fire.
Desire rushes through me like flames jumping from one cell to another and before I know it I’m clawing at the thick muscles of his ass through his pants, pulling him closer to where I ache for him, to where I—
A high-pitched squeal of laughter pierces the air, and Nash and I flinch apart with twin sounds of surprise.
I turn to see Felicity awake in her stroller, laughing her head off, kicking her legs and pumping her fists as she giggles up at us.
“Apparently she thinks kissing is pretty funny.” Laughing, Nash bends to pick up the stuffed skunk Felicity’s knocked out of the stroller, pressing it back into her eager arms before he stands.
I meet his gaze, my heart skipping a beat when I see the happiness and hope I’m feeling reflected in his eyes.
“Do you think we’ve scarred her for life?” I ask, fighting the urge to pull his lips back to mine.
We’ve already made a spectacle of ourselves. Thank goodness Felicity seems to be the only one who caught us in the act.
“Nah,” he says with a crooked grin. “But I’m sure we’ll get around to it. Even good parents screw up every once and a while. No matter how hard they try not to.”
My breath catches and a sliver of fear cuts through the haze of desire, clearing my head.
Parents.
Nash and I raising Felicity together.
Am I ready to think about that?
Giving a romantic relationship a chance is one thing, thinking about making a forever family together is something else entirely.
I was so determined to have forever with Liam and look how that turned out. All it did was lead to years of fighting and crying and suffering over something that should have been dead and buried a long time ago. I can’t let myself lose my head that way again, not over anyone, even a guy like Nash.
Yes, he’s been amazing to both Felicity and me so far, but he has a bad side, too. Hell, his bad side was the only side I saw for years after the camp disaster. And sure, we were just kids, but can I really—
“Don’t go down the rabbit hole,” he says, cutting into my thoughts as he takes my hand and gives my fingers a squeeze. “And don’t be afraid. We’ll just take each day as it comes.”
I frown up at him. “How did you know what I was thinking?”
“I’m getting pretty good at reading you, Red,” Nash murmurs. “And so we’re clear, I meant what I said back there. I’m so glad you came back into my life before I settled for something less than the real thing.” He pauses, searching my face. “I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone else.”
“Me, either,” I murmur.
“So why not go for it?” he asks, excitement flickering in his eyes. “We’re already married. Why not see if we can make this marriage something we’re both excited to wake up to every morning?”
I exhale. “Well, a few reasons off the top of my head. One, we barely know each other anymore. Two—”
“Not true. You know me. And I know you. Even better, I know exactly what you want in a man.”
Brows lifting, I cross my arms over my chest. “Oh yeah? Enlighten me, Geary.”
“You want a man who will love Felicity like she’s his own. I already do,” he says, banishing the comeback on the tip of my tongue. He is so good with her. A dream come true, really. “You want a man who will respect you and keep his promises, and that’s the only kind of man I ever want to be.” He steps closer, making my nerve endings hum all over again. “And you want someone who will love you so much it’s almost sinful, a man who will worship you, make you feel like a goddess every damned day.”
I swallow. “I don’t want to be worshiped,” I protest, though maybe a part of me does. The part that still dreams of romance and happily ever after. The part that wants to love my man the same way, with every piece of my mind, body, and soul.
“Yes, you do,” Nash says without missing a beat. “Because that’s the way a man loves a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Anything less than worship isn’t going to last fifty years and through thousands of dirty diapers.”
“There won’t be thousands,” I say, tackling the least terrifying thing he just said. “I think I can have Felicity potty-trained before she’s two.”
Nash nods. “That’s fine. But what if we decide to have eight or ten more?”
My eyes fly open so wide the sockets immediately start to ache and Nash laughs so hard he sets Felicity to giggling again, too.
“Not funny,” I say, slapping his chest with the back of one hand.
“I was just kidding,” he says, his teeth still flashing. “Been there, grew up in that nuthouse. That much madness isn’t for me. Two or three kids would be plenty.”
“Good to know,” I say, my brow furrowing. “But the number wasn’t the only thing freaking me out, Nash.”
His smile fades a watt or two. “Yeah? What else is freaking you out, Red?”
“I don’t know. All of it?” I flop my arms at my sides. “None of it? The fact that it doesn’t sound as crazy as it should. I mean, it really is crazy. We’ve barely been back together a week and we haven’t really been together, we’ve been pretending to—” I break off with a sigh as Felicity lets out a squawk of annoyance and tosses her skunk at my legs.
“I agree, Skeeter,” Nash says. “Mama’s thinking too hard.”
“Maybe I am,” I fetch the toy and hand it back to Felicity before standing and rubbing two fingers into the knot forming at my temple. “I’m not sure my brain is up to this much excitement after two glasses of wine.”
“Then let’s head home.” Nash reaches for the stroller handles “We’ll get you a glass of water, put Felicity to bed, and let things sit for a while.”
“Sleep on it?” I ask, following him toward the truck, as he pushes Felicity in front of him.
“Maybe. Though I can think of a couple things that might be more fun than sleeping.” The look he shoots me over his shoulder would be enough to make my panties damp if they weren’t already. “What about you?”
“Maybe one or two things,” I murmur in a dangerous voice.
A part of me whispers that we shouldn’t rush into anything too fast, but the part that’s been dying for Nash Geary to touch me again since the moment he stopped twelve years ago insists we’ve waited long enough. I’m dying to be alone with him. Nothing but him, me, and a door we can lock to make sure we’re not disturbed until we’ve done all the things I’ve been dreaming about since the night he swept back into my life.
Nash stops by the truck and turns to fix me with his full attention, making my heart race as he presses a kiss to my forehead before whispering against my skin, “I’ve been dying to touch you, Aria. I want to kiss you everywhere.”
“Everywhere?” I echo, blood going fizzy in my veins.
“Everywhere. I want to taste every inch of you. Think that can be arranged?”
“Yes,” I whisper, fighting a wave of desire so intense it makes my head spin. “I think that can be arranged.”
Chapter Eighteen
Nash
Until tonight, I’ve enjoyed being a part of Felicity’s bedtime rituals: listening to the happy sounds from the bathroom as Aria gives the baby her bath, inhaling the scent of lavender as she crawls into the living room in a fresh sleeper, the warm, heavy feel of a little one in my lap as Felicity snuggles close while Aria reads her picture books on the couch beside us.
It reminds me of bedtimes around my house when I was a kid, except a thousand times less chaotic.
One baby, instead of three or four under the age of five, means more time to savor each smile, to relish the sweet moments, to appreciate the milestones that can fly by way too fast when you don’t have the luxury of paying close attention.
Felicity is already so different from the baby I met at the BBQ weeks ago. She’ll be walking before we know it and speaking her mind with a bigger vocabulary than “mama,” “no,” and “deer,” not long after. She’s a sweet, funny kid, the kind it’s impossible not to lose your heart to.
But tonight, she’s also a child I can’t wait to tuck into her crib.
I need to be alone with her mama.
I swear bath time lasts a hundred years and the pre-bed stories drag on for a full-blown eternity. An eternity in which it’s impossible to concentrate on anything but Aria sitting so close that her thigh presses against mine, so close I can count the freckles on her arms, and imagine all the new freckles I’ll discover once I get her out of that sexy green dress.
I can’t wait to have her all to myself, to show her there’s nothing to be afraid of when it comes to the two of us. We’re going to be a perfect fit. She was made for me and I was made for her. I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her. From day one, being happy with Aria was easy. It’s fighting her, resenting her, clinging to old misunderstandings that’s been hard.
I don’t want to cling to those things anymore.
The only thing I want to hold on to is her, for as long as she’ll let me.
This is what falling in love is supposed to feel like. An irresistible force, a tidal wave that pulls you under, spins you around, and turns your entire world upside down in the best way. I don’t care that there are toys all over my living room floor and a highchair blocking the sliding glass door out to the deck. I don’t care that I’ve gone without sleep for most of the nights since Aria moved in or that I know we’ll have more sleepless nights ahead as we deal with baby teeth, little kid sniffles, nightmares, and all the things that wake parents in the night.
I’m ready for it. All of it.
I can’t wait.
As long as I get to do all those things with her.
“She’s asleep,” Aria whispers as she steps out of the baby’s room into the hallway, closing the door softly behind her.
I lean back against the wall, studying her troubled face. “Having second thoughts?”
She shakes her head. “No.” She bites her lip, laughing beneath her breath as her gaze falls to the carpet. “Just a little nervous. It’s been a while for me.”
“Been a while for me, too.”
She rolls her eyes. “Um, no I mean it’s really been a while, Nash. Like, in some cultures, I’m considered a virgin again by now.”
I grin. “Are there cultures like that?”
“I don’t know,” she says with a shrug. “Probably not, but there should be. After going so long without anyone seeing you naked it starts to feel kind of scary again, you know?” She exhales with a wave of her hand. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. You’re too pretty to worry about what you look like naked, and I’m sure you’ve never gone over a year without sex.”
My brows shoot up.
Over a year.
That means she hasn’t slept with anyone since Felicity was born, apparently not even her ex.
No wonder she’s nervous. I’ve heard my sisters talk about their post-baby body woes enough to know it’s something that bothers a lot of women. But my sisters have husbands who love them, who insist they’re still beautiful, stretch marks and all.
I can imagine how hard it must have been for Aria, to have her marriage fall apart while she was recovering from childbirth and no one there to remind her that she’s still every bit as beautiful as she was before she had a baby.
Tonight, I vow to make her feel that way, to make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. It should be easy enough. In my eyes, she always has been.
I take her hand. “There’s no reason to be nervous. I’ve got you.”
Her features soften. “Yeah, you do. Hopefully you won’t come to regret that a few months down the line.”
“Why would I regret it?”
She lifts a shoulder and lets it fall, her throat working as she says, “My ex… cheated. A lot. I started to wonder if maybe there was something wrong with me. In the bedroom. Or out of the bedroom. I don’t know. Maybe both.”
“There is nothing wrong with you,” I say, the pain in her eyes hitting me like a karate chop to the throat.
My jaw clenches.
I already hated her ex for the way he’s treated Felicity, but now…
“You said I deserved better than Rachael,” I say. “Well, you sure as hell deserved better than that douchebag. There’s nothing wrong with you. He’s just a selfish, shitty excus
e for a husband and a father.”
“That’s sweet of you to say,” she whispers, but I hear the doubt lingering beneath the words.
I cup her face in my hands, leaning down until my eyes are level with hers. “Aria March, you are beautiful, inside and out. You are a wonderful mother and a good friend and I’ve had more fun sleep training a fussy baby with you than I have on any date in the past five years.”
Her lips twitch. “You must have been on a lot of bad dates.”
“So many,” I tease, loving the sound of her soft laughter. “And in addition to your other excellent qualities, you’re an amazing kisser. You have nothing to worry about in the bedroom.”
Her tongue slips out to dampen her lips. “You can’t know that for sure. I could be super bad at all the other stuff.”
“I doubt it, but if you are…” I drop my hands to her waist, drawing her against me. “Then I’ll be your sex tutor.”
Her eyes flash. “Yeah? You’d do that for me?”
“I would,” I say, dipping my head closer to hers.
She lifts her chin. “Nash?”
“Yes?” I ask, brushing my lips against hers.
“I’m pretty sure I don’t need a sex tutor.”
“I’m pretty sure you don’t either.” I kiss her again, soft and light, relishing the feel of her breath warm on my lips.
“I’m also pretty sure I’m going to die if we’re not naked and in your bed in five minutes.”
“Less than two,” I promise, sweeping her into my arms and sprinting for the bedroom so fast it makes her laugh.
“You’re crazy,” she says as I set her down just inside the door, locking it tight behind us before pulling her against me.
“Crazy for you,” I say, kissing her hard.
She moans and her lips part, her tongue mating hungrily with mine as we back toward the bed. “Fewer clothes,” she murmurs against my mouth, tugging my button-down from the waist of my jeans.
“Yes ma’am.” I make quick work of my shirt and jeans before helping her pull her dress over her head, revealing a strapless black bra and tiny bikini panties that make me want to fall to my knees in gratitude for lingerie and this woman and how insanely sexy she looks right now.