“I get that.”
Erin skewers me with a skeptical look. “No, you don’t. You’re wondering why the hell I ever trusted a man like him.”
“Maybe. But I know that guys don’t always understand what women see in other guys.”
Erin tucks a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “I suppose that’s true. Women don’t understand why men fall for skanky bitches either.”
I have to grin. “Skanky bitches? I don’t think I’ve ever met one. But then, they avoid nerds.”
“Can’t think why. Unless they’re stupid.”
I tap the steering wheel. “I think you just gave me a compliment. Not sure. Did you?”
Erin’s smile blossoms, which makes everything better. “Yes.”
“That’s why I’m in my truck with you, not a skanky bitch.” I make her laugh, which releases something inside me. “Interested in Dean’s happy hour?”
Erin shakes her head. “Not really. He’s a hard charger—dancing and partying are Dean’s life. I just want to take a nap.”
“That can be arranged. Want me to drop you at home?”
Erin goes very quiet. When traffic lets me, I turn my head to see her watching me, her mouth straight, her eyes soft.
“Only if you come in,” she answers. “You did stop at the drugstore.”
Immediately, my body is ready, willing, and able. If it weren’t for Phoenix traffic barreling around me, I’d pull off somewhere and do it right now. A lot of places are closed on Sunday—I bet I can find a quiet parking lot.
I keep myself contained until we pull into the driveway of Erin’s house. Mrs. Hampton across the street is nowhere in sight, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Not that she isn’t watching out her window.
I park the truck and we hop out, my legs shaking with the effort of holding myself back.
Erin unlocks the front door and ushers me gently inside.
Chapter Six
Erin
The rest of the afternoon is bliss. Ben and I lay in the sunshine in my bed, getting up only to eat—ordering out pizza—and then hitting the mattress again. I forget all about Reuben, my tired body, my worries.
All I need is right here in this room.
Ben eventually rises to leave, late in the night. It’s quiet outside as we emerge, moonlight bathing the street. My neighbors are indoors, and only occasional distant traffic breaks the silence.
“Good night,” Ben whispers.
I rise on tiptoe, put my arms around him, and kiss him. I want to kiss him for the rest of the night, and wake up in the morning against him. Why don’t you stay? I want to ask. Forever …
But life marches on. We have work in the morning—Ben needs to go home and get ready for that. No one knows about us and our secret weekend. As Ben eases from the kiss and rests his forehead against mine, I wonder if he’ll want to keep it secret.
We study each other, Ben holding my hands. I don’t want to let go. Finally, he releases me, reluctantly I think, and turns away.
I stand in the driveway and watch him back out and roll away. I wave until his truck is out of sight, though it’s too dark for him to see me.
The house feels empty when I go back inside, but different as well. Serene. A new warmth has entered it. I straighten up the kitchen and go to bed, but I don’t sleep. I think of Ben, lying in his own house a couple miles away, turn my face to the pillow where he slept, and sigh in contentment.
I walk into work Monday morning a little flustered. I arrive early as I always do to unlock the doors and turn on the lights. I make coffee in the break room then check the company’s phone and email messages. I’ll deliver each message to the appropriate McLaughlin when they arrive, except for the generic questions I can now answer myself.
I like my job. It’s not glamorous, and it won’t make me rich and famous, but there’s something satisfying about helping out at McLaughlin Renovations. The family is easy to work with, and they’re nice to me. The brothers have their own light squabbles, but they manage to keep things professional at work, and they appreciate what I do.
I don’t want to ruin a good thing. Plus, I need the paycheck, because while dance is wonderful and fulfilling, Clarice can’t pay us lavishly, and the cost of living is fairly high. Everyone in the company has a day job.
I struggle to keep my concentration on my computer and the phone and not worry about how I’ll act when Ben gets here.
Austin breezes in, greeting me cheerfully on his way to coffee. Ryan arrives, looking relaxed—no doubt due to what the newlyweds did all weekend. I smile to myself as I return his “Good morning.”
Zach and Abby rush in slightly late, flushed and breathless. I give Abby a wink as she sails by, and she laughs. Zach clears his throat and dives into his office.
I don’t see Ben. Maybe he decided not to come in today. My heart beats faster. If not, why not?
But perhaps it’s better we don’t see each other right away. We can take a step back, figure out how we feel about this past weekend. Maybe it was just a weekend, and we’ll move on.
My mouth goes dry. I don’t want to move on. I want to see Ben. Talk to him. Even if we only say hello.
“Hey.”
I shriek and jump a foot out of my chair. When I land again, Ben is beside me, on my side of the reception desk.
He gives me a baffled look from under hair that needs trimming. “What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t see you come in. I thought you were staying home today.”
“I used the back door. I was carrying in some new equipment.”
“Oh.”
My wild speculations and fears suddenly seem stupid. Ben pulls up the extra chair behind my desk, just as he does whenever he’s come to give me a computer lesson.
I scoot closer to him, inhaling his clean scent—soap and toothpaste, no aftershave or cologne. I start to say hello more politely when his mom wafts in and pauses by the desk.
“There you are, Ben,” Virginia says. She’s a trim woman in her late fifties, her face retaining the beauty I’ve seen in her wedding photos from nearly forty years ago. Her hair is dark like Austin’s, her eyes the blue of all her sons. “I was just about to ask if you’ll start training Erin on the orders software. She’s ready for that, I think.”
I warm with her praise—I like that Virginia trusts me more and more with the business. I hope she can hire me on permanently, and that me boinking one of her sons won’t change her mind.
Ben and I keep our faces straight until Virginia scoops up her messages, sails into her office, and closes the door. Then we both burst into quiet laughter.
“Software training,” I choke out. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
“Seems as good a term as any.”
We go quiet. Ben isn’t in a hurry to grab my mouse and start darting the cursor around the screen. My setup is pretty basic—in Ben’s office he has multiple screens, racks of computers, the latest tablets, and gadgets I don’t even recognize. At my desk it’s monitor, keyboard, and mouse.
My chair squeaks, and I quickly still myself.
“So,” I ask softly. “Is it awkward?”
Ben’s voice is as hushed as mine. “Why does it have to be awkward?”
Because we’ve slept together. The quiet receptionist had glorious sex with the introverted IT guy, and we both work for IT guy’s parents.
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“What’s up, peeps?” Austin strides out, coffee in hand, to attack the mail stacked on the counter. “Wild weekend, Erin? Missed you at the family Sunday dinner yesterday. Hoped you’d be there so I’d have someone to talk to besides the besotted couples. Ben ditched too …”
Austin peers over the high counter at us, sitting close together, looking up at him in trepidation. He stares at us a moment, his mouth falling open as he puts the pieces together. He takes a breath … and lets it out again.
“Okaayy.” Austin, who prides himself on being the best-looking McLaughl
in with his dark hair and blue eyes, taps his wad of mail on the counter. “So, I’ll just be walking away now.”
He moves from the desk in slow, deliberate steps, exaggerating a casual walk. When he reaches the middle of the showroom, be begins to whistle, which he keeps up all the way to his office. The door clicks shut.
Ben huffs a laugh. “All right, so it’s awkward.”
“What do we do?” I whisper.
He leans closer. “We play it cool.”
I don’t know how I can play it cool when his breath ruffles my hair and he kisses me below the ear. I want to turn to him, grab him, rip off his clothes, and make wild, passionate love to him under the desk.
Imagining it makes me laugh. Ben laughs with me, and soon have our arms over our stomachs, half falling out of our chairs. I wave my hand in front of my face.
“Stop, stop, stop. Show me ordering. You’re supposed to be …”
We laugh again, and can’t cease. Abby is heading out, and pauses at the desk. The diamond on her third finger sparkles.
“You two sound happy,” Abby says, interested. “What’s the joke?”
I shake my head, and Ben wipes his eyes. “No joke,” he says. “Just … um … a software thing.”
Abby starts to shrug, then she, like Austin, hesitates. I know I’m turning all shades of red, and then I fear there’s a hickey on my neck from where Ben suckled it last night. I think I’d have noticed it when dressing this morning though. Wouldn’t I?
I self-consciously put my hand on my throat, pretending I’m cupping my chin. Ben doesn’t help, because he’s red too, staring hard at the computer screen, which is blank, the McLaughlin logo floating around the black background.
Abby straightens. “Well,” she says with exaggerated brightness. “I’m off to a radio station downtown. Ad meeting. Be back after lunch.”
“Okay.” I quickly make a note. “Good luck.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Abby looks us over one more time, then strolls out, high heels clicking.
Ben and I gaze at each other. “Don’t you dare start laughing.” I point at him. “We’ll never get anything done today.”
“Somehow, I don’t really care.” Ben leans back, hands behind his head.
“Should we tell them?” I approach the question with caution.
“Tell who what?”
I fold my fingers into my palms. “Your family. That we’re …”
Having fantastic sex? Dating? That’s a tame word for this weekend. And was it a one-time thing? I have no idea. Ben isn’t the type who lays out exactly what he’s thinking. Reuben had simply moved in with me and hadn’t budged from my house until he found another job. I realized after he left he’d been simply mooching off me.
Ben is far more independent, with a nice place of his own. A family he’s close to. I’m the interloper. Abby and Calandra have been friends of the family a long time, with past histories with Zach and Ryan.
“No.” Ben’s abrupt word cuts into my thoughts.
“No, what?”
“I don’t want to tell them.” Ben brings his hands down, the chair rocking forward as he leans close. “I want this between us, for now. My family can be seriously nosy.”
That was an understatement. Nothing happened but all the brothers, and Alan and Virginia, soon knew about it. Great Aunt Mary knew whatever everyone else didn’t. It was uncanny how gossip whipped around the family.
“Want to have lunch?” Ben’s next question drags my attention to him.
I glance quickly at the clock on my desk. “It’s nine-thirty.”
A chuckle. “I mean at lunch. Want to go grab something?”
“Yes.” The word leaves my mouth with enthusiasm. Then, dismay. “No, I can’t.”
Ben blinks. “I like that you can surprise me.”
“I already promised a friend I’d meet her for lunch. You met her, in the scrum. Ida—she’s a dancer. She’s the head elf. In the show, I mean.”
“There are elves?” Ben looks confused.
“Clarice’s shows are kind of abstract. But yes, she was in the red and gold. Anyway, we made this date a while ago, and I can’t cancel on her.”
“No.” Ben lifts his hands. “Don’t want you to do that. Go. Have fun.”
“Tomorrow,” I say quickly. “We can have lunch together tomorrow.”
Ben nods, his grin returning. “It’s a date.”
We watch each other, the laughter threatening to return. It’s so easy, laughing with Ben. As though everything we think and say is funny.
It isn’t funny—the laughter is from giddiness. Something I haven’t felt in a long time.
I’d forgotten how nice it is to fall in love.
“Orders,” I say with determination. “Your mom is going to expect me to understand how to do the orders.”
Ben lets out a breath. “Okay. Here we go.” He clicks the mouse with hands that touched me so well Saturday night and throughout Sunday.
Working here will never be the same again.
Ben
When Erin takes off for lunch, I head back to my cave and try to concentrate on installing a couple new pieces of hardware. Usually I get absorbed in that, but today all I can think of are Erin’s eyes behind her glasses when she smiled at me before she left and said, “See you later.”
I’d wanted to kiss her. We’d been standing in the middle of the office with my family streaming to and fro, Ryan talking with a client.
I wished I could say to hell with everything and kiss her. Take her in my arms, run my hands down her back to cup her fine ass and kiss her deeply.
But I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I just nodded and let her go.
My brothers and parents have already drifted off to lunch, Ryan and Dad with the client, Zach joining Abby after her meeting. The only one left is Austin, who’s in his office singing along enthusiastically with whoever he’s playing on his radio. I stopped listening to popular music a long time ago, preferring blues classics. True music.
I lay down my screwdriver, dust off my pants, take a swift swig from a bottle of water, and head to his office.
When I walk in, Austin breaks off his wailing and turns down the volume. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t know anyone was still here.”
I lean against the doorframe. “Felt like staying in. Hey, can I talk to you?”
“Sure. What about?”
Austin is the brother I’m least connected with. Zach and I are closest, we two middle brothers finding common ground. Like I said, I was Zach’s tackle dummy all through high school, but he taught me a lot about football and holding my own. I couldn’t catch a ball to save my life, but I was good at running and punching, which made the other kids learn respect.
Austin, though. He’s about dressing in sharp suits and going to clubs and having the most beautiful women in town on his arm. He’s a schmoozer, but a decent guy if you catch him on a good day.
“How do you do it?” I ask.
“How do I do what?”
“You know.” I wave my hand vaguely. “Be you. With women.”
Austin is baffled. “I don’t know. Talk to them?”
“Yeah, but specifically? How do you know exactly what to say to them, how to treat them, what to do?”
Austin stares blankly as though I’ve asked him to explain particle physics. Then he has an “aha” moment.
“This is about Erin, isn’t it?” Austin launches himself from his chair and comes around the desk. “I knew there was something up with you two. What happened—did you hook up?”
I don’t like that term—hook-up. So impersonal, like the encounter is all about sex and nothing else. I try to keep my expression neutral, disapproving even, but my face feels hot.
Austin is overjoyed. “You did hook up. That’s awesome, bro.” He grabs me in a bear hug, pounding me on the back. “You dog.” He stands back, admiring. “She won’t even look at me.”
“Leave her alone.” I’m all defensive, my fists balling. “Do not say
a word to her, all right?”
Austin lifts his hands. “Sure, sure. No problem. The secret is safe with me. But why are you asking my advice if you’ve already scored?”
Scored. Another term I don’t like. “I don’t know where to go from here. What do I do? Buy her flowers? Take her to a fancy dinner? I want her to like me.”
“From what I saw this morning she seems to like you well enough. But I get you. You don’t want her to stop.” He sobers. “I have to tell you though, you don’t want to lavish too much attention on her. Don’t come off as needy. You want her chasing you.”
I eye him doubtfully. “This works for you, does it?”
“Well enough. But why are you so worried? You’ve had girlfriends before.”
“Not like this.” No woman in my life—the few that have been in my life—can compare.
“True. Erin’s a class act. Not that your other girlfriends weren’t,” Austin adds hastily. “There was Debra in high school …”
“Now married to a rich property developer.”
“And Jean in college—your lab partner, right?”
“Traveling the world as a photojournalist. Gave up computers for the road.”
“Hmm.” Austin leans back against his desk, hands supporting him. “I can see your problem. Great women, but they pick someone or something else over you.”
“Yeah, that’s how I roll.”
“Don’t be gloomy. I saw how Erin smiled at you. All right—what does she like to do?”
“Dance.” I warm inside. “I went to her show this weekend. Twice. She’s amazing.”
I must look seriously impressed, because Austin grins at me. “What else?”
“As far as I know, she dances and she works here. If Erin ever has to choose between dance and our business, she’ll blow us off so fast we won’t know what happened.”
Why Don't You Stay? ... Forever (McLaughlin Brothers Book 2) Page 5