I take a gulp. “I’m sort of with Ben. We haven’t, you know, discussed a relationship. It was just a—”
“One-night stand?” Calandra finishes, and Abby chuckles. “A pretty long one-night stand, I’m guessing. Same thing happened to me with Ryan. And Abby with Zach.”
“A long one-night stand?” I ask in puzzled amusement. “What is that?”
“It’s when you have one beautiful night together—and he doesn’t leave,” Abby answers. “And you don’t leave either. Next thing you know, you’re standing in the McLaughlin backyard asking your friends to be your bridesmaids.”
My face grows hot, and I wave my glass. “Whoa. No weddings. We’ve only been seeing each other a week.”
“And pining for each other a long time before that,” Calandra says. “Don’t worry,” she adds with confidence. “You’re together.”
I know they’re trying to be nice, but I don’t want to discuss it—this is between Ben and me, and it’s too new, too tender. I derail the conversation by asking Abby how the wedding plans are going.
That’s good for nearly an hour of talk, Abby excited about what’s right and frustrated about what’s wrong. No wedding ever comes off without a glitch or two.
Ben returns to escort me as we troop into dinner. I’ve attended the McLaughlin Sunday get-togethers before and usually enjoy them. Virginia doesn’t cook the meal herself—she’s busy and picks up ready-made food from grocery stores. But Alan grills, with Ryan’s help, and the rest of us throw stuff together in the kitchen. Between the family, it all gets on the table, and we sit down to eat.
Ben makes sure I’m next to him. Austin slides in on my other side before anyone else can.
“Don’t worry,” he whispers. “I’m here to fend off embarrassing questions you might be pestered with.”
He and Ben protect me from the others who clearly want to probe for details about what Ben and I have going on. Austin is good at interrupting any question that starts off too eagerly, or loudly asking for food to be passed if he senses I’m uncomfortable.
Ben, unworried, easily parries his brothers’ teasing by giving back as good as they give him. Somehow he and Austin make sure that no one asks about our sex life, or where we’re going with our relationship, or if we’re moving in together.
After supper, we break into teams for board games, boys against girls. Alan softly plays piano in the background.
At one point, Abby casually tells Austin, “I saw Brooke the other day.”
His instant tension speaks volumes. “Oh?”
“Yeah, she looked great. She said to tell you hi.”
Austin gives her a frown. “Are you sure she didn’t say tell him to go to hell?”
“Nope.” Abby smiles. “She said hello. That’s all.”
Austin shudders and returns to his after-dinner coffee.
We play Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary, and the girls trump the boys. Virginia is especially good at both, and I’m happy she’s on my side.
I also like the way she looks over at Alan from time to time, the love in her eyes plain. There’s a reason the McLaughlins are a close family. They love unashamedly.
By the end of the night, it’s obvious I’ve been accepted into their circle. I’ve been invited to their parties before, but tonight they’ve embraced me.
It makes me happy, and I sigh with contentment as Ben and I walk out in the cool darkness. He kisses me before he tucks me into his truck and we drive back to my house.
I’m pleased the McLaughlins like me, but it’s a little scary too. If Ben and I fall apart, as has happened in every other relationship I’ve been in, losing the family will be extra hurt on top.
Monday morning I walk into the office with a lighter heart. Everyone says an extra friendly hello to me as they pass my desk.
Ben is a little late, because he went home to do laundry before coming in. He sends me a smile when he enters, and when no one’s looking, he sneaks behind my desk and gives me a long kiss.
Things are going well, the family cheerful as we settle down to business. Abby keeps shooting me we need to talk signals, but in a good way.
Yes, everything is fantastic in my world, until after lunch, when Reuben walks in.
I launch myself from my chair. “What are you doing here?” I keep my voice low, but it’s vehement.
Reuben blinks, his dark gaze taking in the showroom and then me. I used to think his eyes soulful. Now I’m reminded of a cow.
“Is this how you greet all your customers?” he asks.
“You’re not a customer,” I snap. “You don’t need anything renovated.”
“That’s true. I like rentals. So freeing.” Reuben leans on my counter, and the smile he sends me is genial, nothing more. “Actually, I came to talk to Ben.”
“Ben?” I give him a level stare. “Why?”
“Erin, you are so suspicious. Though I can’t blame you, I suppose. I was selfish, and I know it. Can’t we let bygones be bygones?”
“I’d love to, if I knew the real reason you moved back to Phoenix.”
I expect him to stammer an excuse, but Reuben smiles again. “The real reason is I need more experience. It’s why I begged Clarice to take me back. I was out of my league up north and I knew it.”
That sounds logical, but I’m surprised Reuben admits it.
I’m about to grill him on why he wants to talk to Ben, when Ben himself comes barreling out of his office.
“What do you need?” Ben moves to my desk, ready to shove himself between me and Reuben.
“Hello, Ben.” Reuben greets him with a friendly nod. “Can I take up a few minutes of your time? I know I don’t deserve it, but I promise I won’t keep you long. I need to ask you something.”
Ben glances at me, and I shrug, spreading my hands. I have no idea what it’s about.
I’m hoping Ben decides to throw Reuben out the door, maybe calling on Zach, Ryan, and Austin to assist, but Ben silently gestures Reuben to precede him. Ben takes him, not to his office, but outside to the parking lot.
The two start walking, making a circuit of the building. I strain to keep them in view as long as I can, but they’re soon around the windowless side and gone, leaving me stewing and worried.
Chapter Ten
Ben
After about twenty minutes of conversation, Reuben says his goodbyes, climbs into his car, and takes off.
He’s left me … what’s the word? Dumbfounded.
When I return to the office, Erin charges around her desk to me. “What did he want?”
“Well …” I’m not sure how to begin.
Her eyes are wide, glasses glinting under the skylights. “Damn it, Ben, don’t do the suspense thing. Did he challenge you to a duel?”
I stare at her in amazement before I bust up laughing. She’s not serious, but I can imagine Reuben doing it.
“Can you take a break?” I ask.
Erin zips behind her desk, clicks something on her computer, and switches off her hands-free phone with rapidity. I lead her to my office.
Stacks of humming computers and a shelf of cords and computer parts adorn the room. My desk is clean and neat, only my desktop computer on it. My brothers always seem to have papers everywhere, but I don’t have a scrap in sight. Drives my mom crazy whenever she wants to leave me a note.
Erin has been in here before—she’s told me the room went with me, whatever that meant. Today, she’s too impatient to look around.
“Ben, I’m so sorry.” Erin clasps her fingers loosely in front of her. “Reuben has no right to bother you, no right to bother anyone.”
“Hey.” I take her hands—I have to pry them apart. “Reuben’s not your fault. He’s an asshole all by himself.”
That wins a little smile. “What did he say?”
I mull over the weird conversation I’d had with Reuben. We’d slowly circled the parking lot as we talked, shaded by mesquites and thick oleanders that separate our business from the one next
door.
“He wanted to reassure me he hasn’t come back for you,” I tell her. “That he knows he screwed up with you. He’s happy you’ve found someone new, and will bow out gracefully.”
Erin scowls. “He has a big ego.”
“Yeah, that’s obvious.” I squeeze her hands. “Like it’s up to him who you go out with. But he seemed sincere.” I frown, still pondering. “It was strange. I kept trying to get mad at him, but then Reuben would deflect that and be contrite. He apologized a lot. Like he was losing sleep over his behavior and wouldn’t be absolved until he came and talked to me.”
“Hmm.” Erin swings our entwined hands, and I find myself wanting to move closer. “Maybe he has reformed for real. I doubt it, but you never know. He might have had an epiphany.” She pins me with her gaze. “Does not mean I’m interested in him.”
She sounds worried I won’t believe her. I can’t help bending to her and giving her a kiss.
The kiss could have changed into something more serious, but Erin eases back. “Is that really all he wanted?”
I have to shake my head. “He wants to dance with you in the show. A pas de whatever-it’s-called. Wanted to assure me it was purely professional. He says you’re one of the best dancers he’s ever met, and you can help him grow. His words. He wanted my blessing.”
Erin stares at me in perplexity and growing anger. “He asked you? Why the hell didn’t he ask me? The idiot. Or discuss it with Clarice? And Dean? If we add a pas de deux to this show, we’ll have to cut or trim one of mine with Dean, who will not be happy.”
I squeeze her hands again, pulling her back to the here and now. “I told Reuben he should be talking to you instead of me. But he said he was afraid to approach you directly, knowing you’d say no. I think he wants me to persuade you.”
“The total jerk.” She’s fuming now, cheeks flushed.
“He’s not wrong about you being a good dancer.” I picture how she glides across the stage in perfect elegance.
Erin isn’t soothed. “He’s changed his tune. Reuben used to criticize me all the time, like I wasn’t good enough to dance with him. I wonder what the hell happened to him in Milwaukee.”
“He got cold?” I glance out my slit of a window at the blazing May sunshine. “I hear they have winter there.”
“Ha ha,” Erin says, straight-faced. “You think I should agree?”
“What?” I pull my brain back from fantasies of Erin dancing like a goddess, except naked in her bedroom, just for me. “No, I’m just telling you what he said—it was a bizarre conversation.” I stand closer, moving my hands to cup her elbows. “It’s your life, your career, your choice. I’d never tell you to do what I want, or talk you into going against your gut.”
Erin’s eyes go rounder. “Wow. That’s the nicest thing any guy has ever said to me.”
“Really?” The corners of my mouth twitch. “That’s kind of sad.”
“Reuben is right though, that any interaction I have with him now is purely professional. I am truly over him. I don’t want you to worry about …”
I touch Erin’s face, and her words trail off. The fact that she’s reassuring me she won’t dump me for a good-looking, well-built guy the ladies in the audience drool over is the nicest thing any woman has said to me.
“Erin.” I brush my thumb across her cheekbone. “I’m not worried about you. You’re awesome. Kind and sweet, and not the type to string along two guys at once. You’re true. It’s one of the things I love about you.”
She stills, her eyes fixed on mine, lips parted. A few heartbeats go by.
Then I realize I’ve just said the L- word.
Damn it—I was supposed to save that for the grand gesture. Oh, well, I screw up stuff like this all the time. Falling in love isn’t the same as setting up an efficiently elegant, bug-free program.
Love has lots of bugs in it. I’m figuring that out.
Erin drags in a long breath, and then she launches herself at me. Her arms are around me, and we’re kissing and kissing.
We fall to the non-static floor mat, which is soft, our legs tangling as we devour each other. My hand is on her breast, hers running down my back to grip my ass.
“Hey, Ben, could you help me with—” Austin’s voice breaks off, and we hear his startled exclamation, followed by quickly retreating footsteps. His voice trails behind him. “Aw, man. This place is not safe for work anymore.”
Erin
After a long afternoon of thought, I relent and tell Clarice I’m fine doing a pas with Reuben, but Dean has final say. I suggest it needs a meeting with me, Dean, Clarice, and Reuben to discuss it all before making decisions, which is how Reuben should have handled it in the first place.
Not going behind our backs and asking my boyfriend’s permission, the git.
Clarice agrees and we fix a time to meet during rehearsals tonight.
On the other hand …
Ben’s words, It’s one of the things I love about you, continue to ring in my head. Reuben’s visit caused the phrase to slip from Ben’s mouth, and I’m almost grateful to Reuben for that. Ben got embarrassed as soon as he said the words, and I kissed the hell out of him before he could take it back.
Good thing Austin had come in, or we both might have been fired.
I hug the feeling to myself that evening in Clarices’s office at her studio as Reuben tries to convince Dean and Clarice he needs to dance with me. Neither Clarice, Dean, nor I are sure of his motives, but I’m in a great mood.
“Sure,” I say. “We can do something short. We wouldn’t have to cut any of my dances with Dean that way.”
Dean gives me an amazed look, opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it again. Clarice has the final word—it’s her show—and she takes a moment to consider.
Clarice is in her sixties, with very short gray hair and a willowy dancer’s body. She still performs for the fun of it and she choreographs and teaches us all the dances herself.
She purses her pink-lipsticked mouth while she thinks. “All right. I don’t want to hide you in the chorus anyway, Reuben. The audience likes you, so you can have a few minutes in the front with Erin. Actually I’m having an idea for a pas de trois as well.” She sends Reuben a sudden frown. “But no ad libbing. You do my steps and don’t mess up my show.”
Reuben lifts his hands in surrender. “Thank you. I promise you, Erin, this is purely dance. And, Dean, I’m not trying to upstage you. Like anyone could.”
He delivers the last words with a twist of lips that makes it a possible insult. That’s more Reuben’s style.
Dean chooses to ignore the poke at his ego. “All right. We’ll need extra time to learn all this, which means you’re paying for dinner, Reuben.”
Reuben rolls his eyes. Clarice dismisses us, and we head to the studio’s large mirrored rehearsal room.
I hang back with Dean. “You gave in easily,” I remark.
Dean shrugs, glancing at Reuben, who is yards down the hall from us already, eager to begin.
“Keeps him from whining. Clarice will turn his demands into an asset—we all know that.”
“Hmm.” I study Dean closely, and he mouths, What? “You’re getting mellow in your thirties,” I say. “Feeling all right?”
Dean puffs up in mockery of his own usual attitude. “I’m perfectly fine. If I’m mellow it’s because I’m happy for you. I’m just a romantic at heart, I guess.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, perplexed. He was hiding something.
“Nothing.” Dean takes my hand and rushes me down the hall. “Let’s learn this new stuff. Time’s a wasting.”
I let him tow me into the rehearsal room. Clarice joins us and we start working out the logistics.
It’s one of the things I love about you.
I hug the words to myself. I’m a romantic at heart too.
It’s Saturday night. The show is going well, as are the additional dances we’ve added. Clarice has kept them short, and we’ll grow them as
the performances continue.
True to his word, Reuben has not pestered me all week, only discussing dance when we converse. No mention of our past, our relationship, his departure, his return, or our present circumstances. If Ben comes up in conversation—both Ida and Dean make sure to mention him as often as possible—Reuben either remains neutral or says, “He’s a decent guy.”
I’m puzzled, but relieved.
Tonight we’re debuting the new additions. Dean, Reuben, and I do a pas de trois in the first act, me going back and forth between them—like a dancing three-way. My character is apparently torn between the two guys, though she picks Dean in the end. Smart lady.
The audience loves it. They applaud us and some even rise when we’re finished to show their appreciation.
I’m pleased, but also very nervous tonight. Joining Ben in the second row is his entire family. The four brothers, Alan and Virginia, Abby and Calandra, a few cousins from the extended family, and Great Aunt Mary. She’s dating someone now, the very good-looking silver fox next to her. Go Aunt Mary.
Whenever I happen to glance into the audience, which I try not to do, I see faces of McLaughlins. I focus on Ben, make myself relax, and dance with renewed vigor.
Before the intermission, Reuben and I do a brief pas de deux. It’s a “farewell” dance, where our characters are putting our pasts behind us and parting, so my lady can return to Dean. Very fitting. Clarice is a canny woman.
Reuben dances well, better than I’ve ever witnessed him do. He never misses a step, his entrechat—jumping up straight and switching his feet back and forth in midair—makes him look light and floating, as though gravity doesn’t apply to him. Whenever he has to catch me, he does it without a slip. He holds me like a rock for my deep arabesques, and his spins are fast and perfect.
We finish with what’s called a fish dive—both my legs point back up in the air, with my chest forward and my arm extended to the floor, while Reuben supports me via his thigh and arm with seeming effortlessness.
Why Don't You Stay? ... Forever (McLaughlin Brothers Book 2) Page 8