“Better, but you’re still too tense. Just relax,” she whispered in my ear. I nodded, let out a deep breath then imagined it was just the two of us on the dance floor. I stopped trying to imitate the way other people had been dancing and just did what felt natural. A few times, Lily offered up encouragement or advice, but overall seem satisfied. I stopped thinking about what I was doing and just moved to the beat. The night stretched into a blissful eternity and I let the music take me away…
Chapter Nine
Five days passed and we heard nothing from the council and it was all I could do to stay sane. It was funny, but in the short time since I’d joined the resistance I had become so accustomed to being on the run that I was getting antsy just staying in one place. The fact that I was so conflicted with myself only made matters worse. I didn’t want to think about it, but it was all I could do.
We’d all been asked to contribute to the nest in some way, and I had agreed. At the very least it gave us something to do, but unfortunately because of our experience Becca and I had both been drafted to work in the kitchen. It still loved to cook, it was second nature to me and I could do just about anything in a kitchen without putting much thought into. Which left my mind to wander, and wander it did.
The more I thought about it the more I realized, I didn’t actually dislike being female, but a part of me still wished to go back to being male. There was just something about this body that felt wrong, it wasn’t the breasts, the hips, or even the vagina. It was something else, something I couldn’t quite name, but always there on the tip of my tongue. I felt wrong, not because I was female, but for reasons I couldn’t easily define.
And… I felt guilty, for not telling Lily and for a lot of things, including Kaya’s death. I couldn’t help but feel responsible, and I hated that our relationship had ended the way it had. She had been carrying our child and–I stopped looking around at the other people in the kitchen, who were busy going about their tasks, then wiped a tear from my eye–I felt like I had abandoned Kaya. It didn’t particularly make sense, considering she was the one who hadn’t been attracted to me, but emotions were seldom logical.
At least life in the nest wasn’t too unpleasant; most of the people were friendly if somewhat distant. I did get a lot of odd looks and I’d had more than one would-be suitor knocking at my door. It was sort of flattering, but it was beginning to get old. Still, a few of them had been pretty good looking. If I hadn’t been in a relationship with Lily I might have let them take me out on a date.
I sighed, mostly I’d been doing grunt work, peeling potatoes, cutting vegetables, and washing dishes, but at least I was doing something even if it gave me far too much time to think. What I wouldn’t have done at that moment to smash or rip an opponent to shreds. That was something else I’d been thinking about a lot, violence. It came so easily to me, since I’d becomeLexa.
I hated to see people I cared about hurt, but the more primal aspect of my personality loved the violence and it scared the shit out of me. The question I kept asking myself was would it be any different if I had a chance to be Jellfree again? Was the violence something ingrained into my being and had only come out once I’d gotten a taste of it or was the answer more complicated? Maybe, it had nothing to do with my human aspect at all, but was a direct result of being joined with Khala. Somehow that didn’t seem likely. I didn’t know much about my people’s history, but I’d heard enough from older slaves to know that humans had been blowing the shit out of each other for centuries before the Qharr, and thus the K’teth, had arrived.
As much as I tried to reason it out, the answers only seemed to pile up and so I bore my troubles silently hoping for answers that never came.
There were always rangers nearby wherever we went in the nest. Rayland said it for my own safety, but we all knew the real reason even if we didn’t vocalize it. The nesters still didn’t trust us, but none of us had any reason to trust them. Having a shadow all the time was nothing new for me, but it didn’t mean I particularly liked it. At least, when we returned to the house they didn’t follow us inside, but that wasn’t all that surprising considering that Lily had found more than one listening device in our quarters. One way or another, they were keeping tabs on us.
There wasn’t a single place in the nest where we could hope to have a private conversation without being heard. Lily, Becca and I were the only ones who could communicate without tripping off any nester spy devices due to our symbiotes. Lily and I had to be careful what we said in front of Becca, but fortunately we did have the ability to communicate without being overheard by the other symbiote.
The nesters gave us free range of the main chambers and most the adjoining tunnels so long as we allowed the guards to follow us around, which meant it was almost impossible to find someplace where I could be alone. Most of the guards kept their distance so sometimes I could almost bring myself to believe that I was alone. Sometimes I liked being alone with my thoughts and I’d found a spot which seemed like the perfect place, a small cavern that overlooked a precipice so deep that I couldn’t see a bottom. It wasn’t the most spectacular site and it didn’t seem to get much if any traffic which was exactly what I was looking for.
The chamber looked to be natural, but a metal safety rail had been installed at the rock’s edge which suggested that at some point in the chamber’s history it had probably received more traffic than it had in recent times. I was standing over the edge looking down into the darkness, and wondered just how far those depths went. Sometimes I felt as if I’d fallen over a precipice and had never stopped falling.
I asked myself the usual questions, who was I? Lexa or Jellfree or was there any difference at all? I tried to sort out my feelings, but as usual I wound up feeling even more confused and angry. What right did I have moping about when the world was in tatters? My problems seemed so small, so why then did I have so much trouble overcoming them?
What was I doing anyway? I had too many things to worry about to let these feelings get in the way. I turned to leave and nearly stepped face first into a set of big voluptuous breasts. I blushed and back away and caught a flash of auburn hair before I got a good look at Arianne’s face. She smiled and studied me with a pair of cool eyes. She might have been younger than me, but there was just something about the woman that gave her the impression of being much older.
“Major Patterson, said you might be down here,” she said walking toward the railing then leaned over and glanced back at me.
“You were looking for me?” I blinked surprised that the nester woman would have any interest in hunting me down.
“I’ve been hoping to speak with you for a while now,” she smiled. “I just wish I didn’t have to come as the bearer of bad news.”
“Bad news? What do you mean?”
“The council has voted not to mount an expedition to New Anaheim,” she frowned then shrugged.
“So that’s it then? What exactly are we suppose to do, hang up our phase guns, and sit around in this fucking nest with our thumbs up our asses and wait for the gray-skins to come to us? Don’t you people realize what’s at stake here? It’s bigger than your petty squabblings.”
“I know,” she folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes. “I voted in favor of the expedition, but I’m only one person. The other council members wouldn’t see the truth if it hit them in the face. Bueller does, Krane does too, and I think with a little prodding I can get Jokeb to come around, but the rest are so afraid of the what ifs that they won’t even allow themselves to ever hope for a brighter future.”
“At least some of you do,” I sighed then glanced back into the hole. “What exactly is it we’re suppose to do now? This could be our only chance? My people will do this alone if we have to, but I think our odds would be much better if the nesters were to join us.”
“Ranger!” she called suddenly and my guard appeared from around the corner. “You’re excused.”
“Ma’am?”
“You heard me.” The ranger disappeared back down the corridor and she waited a moment before turning back to me.
“I’ve come to warn you, Lancaster Dahl is planning something. I don’t know what it is, but I know that scheming bastard too well to believe anything else. Mark my words, you and your people are in serious danger. He’s been holding secret meetings with just about anyone who’ll listen and he has enough rangers who follow him to wreak some serious chaos,” she sighed then bit her lip. “You need to leave, go to this meeting of yours, before Lancaster makes his move. With your abilities you shouldn’t have much trouble escaping the nest.”
“Why?” I asked as she turned to leave. “Why tell me any of this?”
“Call me naive, but I believe there is hope for our world. I don’t know what it is, but from the moment I first saw you I knew that if we are to be liberated you will be the key. I will not let that sniveling bastard do anything that will jeopardize the future of this world.”
“Th-than-thank you.” I was so flabbergasted that I could barely form a coherent word.
“I have to go now. Lancaster doesn’t know I’m on to him, but the ranger who was guarding you is in his pocket. I’m sure he’s gone to report to that little ratfink. The sooner you act the better. I don’t think he’ll wait much longer and if he realizes we’re on to him he may accelerate his plans.”
She disappeared down the tunnel leading out of the cavern I glanced around the room one final time then leapt into motion, revving up my speed to full throttle as I took off down the tunnel and back to the house before it was too late.
I slammed into the ranger guarding the door as I approached. He didn’t even see me coming, and he wilted under the force of the blow. I didn’t know if he was working for Lancaster or not, but there was no way for me to know for sure. Better to render him unconscious than to risk it.
I blasted into door with enough force to send it shooting off from its hinges. “We’re leaving!” I yelled rounding on my sister and Farris before I realized what they were doing. The fair-haired dope had his hand up my sister’s blouse and they were prodding and groping each other and looked to be well onto their way to rounding home plate.
“You bastard!” I yelled my vision turning red as I tore him off my sister and slammed him into the wall. I gripped my hand around his throat and pinned him against the wall. “What did I say, Farris? Do you remember what I told you?”
“Jeff!” my sister screamed and I felt her touch me. I whipped my hand out and was about to backhand her when the red cleared and I realized what I had nearly done.
I loosed Farris and he landed in a heap at my feet. “Don’t touch my sister again.”
“Lexa,” Becca shook her head and backed away from em. “What’s gotten into you?”
“I warned that bastard, what would happen,” I gritted my teeth then closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. “But, I will deal with him later. We need to get the hell out of here. Where are the others?”
Her jaw tightened and I caught a glimpse of the old Becca as she stared at me in defiance before she wilted away and the new worn and tired Becca returned. “Lily’s in your room, but I haven’t seen the doctor all day, he’s probably lurking in the infirmary. Look, Jeff, I-I’m an adult. I don’t need protecting, I’m going to be with whoever I want.”
I shook my head and looked into her eyes. “We’re not discussing this right now. We’re leaving, I don’t think the nest is safe for us anymore. I’ll explain later, just go grab Lily and start gathering anything you might think be useful, but pack light. I’ll go find the doctor, be ready when I’m back. We might have to fight our way out.”
She nodded, and looked like she wanted to say more, but I was back out the door before she could issue a response. I would have grabbed my phase pistols, but in the interest of satiating the nesters I’d given up the power cells. Not that I really needed them, they helped me kill things faster, sure, but I didn’t really need weapons to do that. I was a weapon.
I made my way to the infirmary, but came to a very abrupt halt when I found myself confronted with a half a dozen rangers all of them armed to the teeth. “Lexa, I’m really sorry, but you’ll have to come with us,” Corporal Jake said stepping forward. He had a coil gun, identical to the ones the inquisitors had used on us. We’d left them all back on the ship, clearly the nesters had collected them without our permission. “Dahl would like to speak with you.”
“Okay,” I said holding my hands up giving a show that I was intimidated by their show of force. It wasn’t too difficult of an act to pull on them considering one of them was carrying one of the few weapons capable of harming me. Jake nodded then waved his Qharr-sized rifle at me. “Get in front, I want to see your hands.”
“Why are you doing this, corporal?” I asked him as slowly moved toward the cluster of guards. “We’re not your enemies.”
“No, you’re not, but we can’t risk the security of this nest. We’ve built a nice life here, you should have been happy with our offer of sanctuary instead of bringing us into this fight of yours.”
“Our fight is your fight, can’t you see? So long as the gray-skins occupy this world we can never be free,” I said stopping in the midst of the rangers who had parted for me.
“We’ve got too much to lose.” He shook his head, then raised the muzzle of his rifle and trained it on my back. “Keep moving, get in front or I’ll open fire.”
“Open fire,” I raised an eyebrow. “You really think you can take me? The gray-skins tried using those things against me and I still kicked their asses.”
“J-just step forward!” He yelled his fingers twitching as he glowered back at me.
I recognized all the rangers in Jake’s group, some of them I’d practiced with, others had guarded me. I’d even had friendly exchanges with a few, so what I did next didn’t sit particularly well with me, but unfortunately they didn’t give me any choice. I pounced on Jake, but before I could take the gun from him three shots hit me in the chest. I howled in agony and yanked it out of Jake’s hands. I slammedit into the side of his head, dropping him, before rounding on the next pair.
Khala dulled the pain, but his attack weakened me enough that the other rangers got the drop on me. A saw a flash of metal out of corner of my eye just before brilliant white light filled my vision and stabbing-hot pain slammed into my ribcage. I fell to my knees, and as my vision cleared I saw a second knife come slicing down toward me. I fell down onto my back and caught the descending blade between my feet. My attacker, Corporal Evans, tried to yank the weapon free, but I still had the upper hand when it came to strength. I twisted my legs, he lost his grip and I let the blade fall to the ground before jumping back to my feet.
“That was a mistake.” I glowered at Evans then smashed an open palm into his face. He dropped and I had just enough time to yank the first knife from the side of my ribcage before the other rangers were on me. One of them had retrieved the coil gun, but I slammed into him, knocked it out of his hands and flung it as far away as I could.
They were all wearing body armor, and I knew better than to hit them below the shoulder as it would absorb too much of the impact. I took the first down, with a single blow to the head, and kicked him across the chest sending him toppling into two of his companions before rounding on the final ranger with an open-palmed blow to the face.
The remaining, rangers the three I’d sent toppling to the ground were struggling to climb to their feet, but I managed to take two of them out before they’d risen to waist-level, the third unfortunately, got the drop on me. He leapt onto me from behind, the barrel of his rifle digging into my throat. I elbowed him in the shoulder, forced the gun out of his hand and slammed it into the side of his cheek. Either I hadn’t hit him as hard as I intended or else he was made of tougher stuff than his compatriots, but I caught a flash of something white drop from his mouth. I could hear it hit the floor with a soft ‘pi
ng’, and he stumbled back obviously disoriented from the blow. I hit him again, and this time his eyes rolled into the back of his head then toppled backward landing atop his friends.
I glanced around, it was getting late, but our confrontation was loud enough to have attracted some attention. I spotted several, sleepy-eyed nesters poking their heads out doors or glancing out windows. A few had even left their homes to watch me fight the rangers. I had this brief thought that I should defend my actions, but somehow I doubted it would do any good. The people had seen me take down a group of their protectors. These people were only just coming to know me, somehow I doubted they’d believe anything I had to say. I grimaced, shrugged at the gawking onlookers, and stopped just long enough to pick up one of the fallen weapons before I sped off toward the infirmary. If the corporal and his group had been looking for me, then it was a good bet that Lancaster had sent more of his pawns after the doctor.
“It is most fascinating, is it not?” The doctor’s voice wafted through the entrance just before I burst into the room.
Vakrexid was poised over a console and Doctor Yu was standing beside him apparently too absorbed too have given notice to me. “I-I can’t believe it. How could this go undiscovered after so many years?”
“Not so surprising, Qharr tissue decays most quickly once it leaves the body, making genetic comparisons quite difficult. Qharr do not allow themselves to be taken prisoner, it is considered a grave dishonor. It was only because Vakrexid acted quickly to preserve this sample that it was still viable” he replied.
“Doctor,” I said stepped up behind the two. They both jumped and spun around to face me.
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