Don’t be a bloody fool, he cursed. Anyone would think you were a bloody virgin.
Idiotically, he wished that he was. He wished he could redo the past and make it so he wasn’t the man he’d become, but then he’d never have met her. Stop it, he scolded himself, clutching at the cork of the champagne bottle. Have a drink and calm down, for the love of God.
“What a cosy room.”
Ludo leapt from his skin as he heard Bunty enter the room, and the cork flew from the bottle with a resounding pop.
Champagne gushed from the neck and Bunty gave a laugh and snatched up the glasses he’d left on the dresser, placing first one then the other beneath the torrent. Well, he hoped that was the last of the humiliations in store for him this evening and not an omen. If not, he’d best just throw himself from the window and have done with it.
“And you call yourself a rake,” he muttered crossly.
“Pardon?”
“Would you like some cake?” he said in a rush, improvising wildly and hoping to God there was some.
“No, thank you, this is splendid,” she said, raising the glass.
Ludo watched, fascinated, as she licked her lips, and everything south of his navel grew taut.
Oh, God.
Please let him get through this night without making her cry or shaming himself.
He only prayed that some forgiving deity was listening with a kindly ear and did not seek to make an example of him. Well, in that case… it looked like he was on his own.
Chapter 4
“Wherein… a wedding night.”
London
December 9, 1820
Bunty looked up to find Ludo watching her intently. Their eyes met and he cleared his throat, turning away and going to the fireplace to stoke the fire which was burning merrily and did not appear to need his attention. She frowned. If she didn’t know better, she would have said he was nervous.
Pffft. Nervous?
Lustful Ludo the Libertine?
Hardly.
Yet she did not know how else to account for his behaviour. Unless, of course, he didn’t desire her? The thought made her stomach clench. Oh. She’d just assumed, after the way he’d kissed her, that… but perhaps bedding someone was another thing entirely. Or perhaps he’d gone off the idea, or….
“What’s wrong?”
Bunty jolted, a little alarmed to discover he was standing so close to her.
“N-Nothing,” she stammered, and then changed her mind. If this marriage was going to have the slightest chance of succeeding, they must be honest with each other. “Well, actually, there is something….”
His face fell and he looked so utterly dejected she wished she’d kept her blasted mouth shut.
“I know it’s awful,” he said, one large hand raking through his hair and making it stick up all over the place. “I tried my best to make it presentable, but no amount of flowers and champagne will ever turn this hovel into a palace, I’m afraid.”
“What?” She stared at him for a moment before she realised what he was talking about. “Oh, no, it’s not that. Your rooms are charming.”
He snorted with disgust.
“For a bachelor, certainly.” He moved closer and took her by the shoulders. “I will do better for you, Bunty. I swear I will.”
“Please don’t worry. After all, there is my dowry now, and—”
Ludo shook his head, his mouth set in a firm line. “No.”
“No?” She frowned at him, puzzled by the resistance in his voice.
“I’ll… I’ll find a way myself. That money is yours, to use as you see fit.”
Bunty gaped, bewildered. “But I don’t need a sum like that! Though, that you would give me access to it is… is more than I expected. Thank you, Ludo.”
“Christ, you would thank me? For forcing you to live in this….” He gestured around him with a muttered curse and turned his back on her. “I suppose I ought to use your money to buy us somewhere decent to live, for your sake at least, but… but I want to do it by myself. God, I’m a selfish bastard.”
Bunty smiled, understanding his dilemma. A man’s pride was a fragile thing. Her mother had taught her that much.
“I am perfectly content to live here while you get things in order, Ludo. It is no hardship, I assure you.”
Bunty had come from a well-run, elegant house, and she had never lacked any comfort, but she did not think life in these rather shabby rooms was enough to daunt her. Not if Ludo genuinely wanted her with him, but that brought her back to her original point.
“You are too kind,” he said.
She could not decipher his tone so she moved closer so she could see his face.
“Ludo?”
He turned towards her, and Bunty gathered her courage.
“D-Don’t… don’t you want me?”
She watched him blink, such an incredulous expression on his face she might have laughed if she’d not been so anxious.
“What?”
“Oh,” she said, twisting her hands together. “Don’t make me say it again. It’s only… I thought before that… that you did, and you said I was lovely, and I… well, I believed you, which was probably foolish of me, but… but if you meant it, why… w-why haven’t you kissed me yet?”
“God,” he said with feeling. “I’m a stupid bastard as well as a selfish one. What a catch you are, Ludo.”
Bunty’s eyes grew wide at his language, but she said nothing as he was moving closer, putting his arms around her, pulling her close.
“Not want you?” he said on a breath of laughter. “How could you think such a thing?”
“Well.” Bunty licked her lips, trying and failing not to stare at his mouth. “You seemed so nervous, and I thought perhaps you didn’t want to, or that you’d changed your mind.”
Ludo groaned and pressed his forehead gently against hers.
“Forgive me. I’m such a fool, it’s only….”
“Only?” she pressed as he paused, looking embarrassed.
“It’s only I wanted everything to be perfect, but I have to bring you here to this wretched place and you must surely regret agreeing to marry me, and then I realised that you’d never… that you hadn’t…. That you were a virgin, and I’m worried because I don’t want to hurt you, and….” He huffed out a bitter laugh. “You’d think the one thing I could do with no trouble was take you to bed, but no, I’m a bundle of nerves and I can’t even get that right.”
“Oh.” Bunty reached up and cupped his beautiful face, joy bubbling through her blood like the champagne bottle had burst inside her veins. “You wanted to make me happy.”
He nodded.
“Ludo?”
“Yes,” he said cautiously.
“I’m so very glad I married you.”
“You are?”
Bunty nodded. “I think I made a wise choice, and I believe that everyone will see that one day, but I don’t care how long it takes, as long as you are glad too?”
“Bunty,” he whispered. “Oh, God, love. I’ve never been gladder of anything in my whole life.”
She laughed then. “How foolish we both are. From now on we must speak our minds and not fret about what each other is thinking, but ask. Don’t you agree?”
A slightly wicked glint lit his eyes, but he nodded.
“I do,” he said. “Why don’t you do that, then?”
“Do what?”
“Ask me what I’m thinking.”
Bunty swallowed, a little daunted now, but determined not to be silly. “W-What are you thinking, Ludo?”
He leaned in and nipped at her earlobe, making her gasp, and then whispered in her ear. “I’m thinking I should like you to take your clothes off now.”
Bunty blushed as an odd mixture of anxiety and excitement coiled low in her belly.
“Oh.”
“Mmmm,” he murmured, kissing a path down her neck before returning to nuzzle the tender spot beneath her ear. “I want to unwrap my prize.”
“I thought you were nervous.”
“I’m putting up a heroic fight.”
“Oh. Well, go on, then,” she said, aware that she was breathless but impressed she’d got the words out at all.
He took a step back and grinned at her before turning her around. She felt the brush of his fingers against the nape of her neck as he worked each fastening in turn and shivered. What clever fingers he had. He was far quicker than her maid, she thought, as her dress slithered to the ground. Bunty closed her eyes and wished she were slender. If only she’d known she was to marry such a man, she could have at least tried to lose weight, not that it had ever worked before. Oh well, it was too late now. She only hoped he wasn’t expecting too much. With a gasp, she realised he had worked even faster than she’d anticipated. She was clad only in her stockings and chemise, and Ludo was turning her back to face him. Panic struck her. She clutched her arms about her middle, wanting to hide as much of herself as possible. He would not allow that, though. He undid the tie of the chemise and gently moved her arms aside, before pushing the flimsy material down to join the rest of her clothes.
Bunty squeezed her eyes closed with mortification and prayed he was not disappointed.
Holy God and all his angels
Ludo let out a ragged breath as he stared at his wife in wonder. You lucky bastard, Ludo. He had no idea what the devil he’d done to earn this astonishing gift, surely nothing in this lifetime, but he swore he’d do whatever it took to be worthy of it.
He could hardly breathe. He longed to touch her but felt he ought not, as if it wasn’t his right, yet he was her husband. She was his wife. His wife! He blinked hard as a sudden surge of emotion caught him off guard.
“Ludo?”
He looked up, to discover Bunty peering at him from between her fingers.
“Yes, love?”
“I’m trying hard not to jump to the conclusion that you don’t want to touch me, b-but what is taking so long?”
Ludo let out a bark of laughter and then forced his expression into something more solemn as she glared at him in outrage.
“Forgive me,” he said, his voice low and gravelly as desire thrummed through him. “I was so overwhelmed by my own good fortune, I could do nothing but stare. My God, Bunty, how lovely you are. I cannot help but fear I shall wake up in the morning and discover the whole thing has been a dream.”
She gave him a sceptical glance and wrapped her arms about herself again, a gesture he was recognising as a habit, and thoroughly disliked. He moved closer and took each wrist in turn, moving her arms aside, allowing him to stare down at a delicious landscape of full breasts and luscious curves. His mouth watered.
“Don’t you dare try to hide from me, wife.” He released her wrists in favour of cupping her breasts and groaned as the plump weight filled his hands, heavy and ripe. “I do not understand how such a thing is possible, when everyone was so certain I’d go to the fiery pits, but I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
“Don’t be silly,” she said, laughing, though it was a nervous sound.
Ludo looked at her curiously. “You have no idea, do you? You don’t have the faintest idea what the sight of you does to me?”
She shook her head and Ludo smiled. “That’s all right, love. I’ll show you, but I tell you now, I’ve seen nothing as lovely as you in my whole life.”
That he’d seen more than his fair share was something he didn’t mention. He did not doubt that she knew it.
Ludo kissed her then, delighted at her eager response, that she remembered everything he’d taught her as she opened her mouth, her tongue seeking his. He kissed her until she was breathless and trembling, unable to still his wandering hands from exploring the silky skin exposed for his pleasure. Working his way down her body, he kissed her neck and shoulder, working lower with as much patience as he could muster until his hands and mouth found her breasts. He sighed happily.
She gave a little squeak of surprise as his mouth closed over her, suckling at her breast with enthusiasm before moving to the other and lavishing the same attention there.
“Oh,” she said, a wondering sound as her hands rested tentatively upon his hair.
“So sweet, Bunty,” he murmured against her skin. “I just know you’ll be even sweeter elsewhere.”
He got to his knees, pressing kisses over the soft swell of her belly and hips, moving lower as her eyes widened and her breathing grew fast. She gasped and squealed as he wriggled his tongue into her belly button and then laughed and he sat back on his heels to grin at her.
“I love to hear you laugh.”
“Really?” she asked doubtfully. “Is it appropriate at such a moment? I always thought… well… this was supposed to be serious, solemn.”
Ludo pressed a kiss to her belly.
“Sometimes, yes,” he said, savouring the feel of her skin against his cheek. “But there ought to be playfulness, too: fun, and pleasure above all things.”
He held her gaze and moved lower, kissing the sensitive skin at the apex of her thighs. Her breathing hitched as he moved again, nuzzling the silky curls before parting the delicate folds that hid the little pearl of flesh he sought. With a sigh of pleasure he kissed her there, before teasing his tongue between the folds. She gasped and clutched at his hair.
“Oh! Oh, my.”
Ludo chuckled and settled to his work, licking and teasing until she was squirming, and he was forced to hold her still.
“Oh, it was all true,” she murmured, though now she held him in place, her beautiful skin flushed with pleasure. “You are a bad, bad man. Dreadful. Utterly wicked….”
“Yes, love, and all yours now,” he murmured before looking up at her, dazed with his good fortune.
“All mine?” she repeated, as if she had doubted it.
Ludo frowned and got to his feet. “I meant what I said, love. Forsaking all others.”
A slow smile curved over her mouth and she flung herself at him, holding him tightly. Ludo savoured the moment, happy and a little bewildered that she had not expected at least that much from him. What a bad bargain she had been willing to strike. He could not comprehend why she would take such a chance, for she was not so foolish as to be dazzled by a pretty face alone. Well, whatever her reasons, he would do his best, in all things, which reminded him….
He reached down and swept her up, laughing at the incredulity in her eyes as he lifted her with ease.
“Goodness, you’re strong.”
Ludo snorted. “You’re a featherweight, love.”
She made an incredulous sound. “Oh, what a plumper. I certainly am not anything of the sort.”
He tsked with impatience and set her down carefully on the bed, leaning over her. “I don’t know what kind of maggoty ideas you have in that head of yours. Though I suppose I ought to expect such nonsense from someone hen-witted enough to marry me, of all people, but let us dispense with this nonsense once and for all.”
“What nonsense?” she said, eyeing him dubiously as he made his voice stern.
“The idiotic notion you have about being too heavy, too big, too fat, or whatever preposterous ideas you have about yourself.”
Her dark brows drew together, and she shook her head. “I know you’re being kind, Ludo.”
“Damnation!” he said, throwing his hands up. “I’m not being kind, you little widgeon. I mean… just look at you….” He did just that, his breath catching as his gaze travelled over her body, laid out for him on his bed, their bed. “You’re splendid, gorgeous, a bloody goddess, and I’m going to prove it to you.”
Bunty stared up at him, astonished by the obvious desire in his eyes. He really meant it. He did not think her too tall, too plump, too… everything. Though she had never done so before, Bunty questioned why she thought she was. Well, because she’d been told so. Her mother was always imploring her to lose weight and father always looked disapproving if she ate a dessert. She’d been teased as a girl by those who were supposed t
o be her friends and she’d heard too many disparaging comments from men not to take them to heart, and yet….
And yet Ludo, this big, glorious man, was looking at her as if she were the last cake in the world, and he was starving.
It was rather… invigorating.
He’d said she was splendid, gorgeous, a bloody goddess!
For the first time in her life, Bunty rather thought she felt like one too.
He’d also said he would prove it to her. She wondered just how he intended to do that, but then she realised he was taking off his clothes, and thought of any kind was suspended.
He made rather a performance of it for her, sliding off his cravat and tossing it to her with a wink, before easing out of his coat. Slowly, he unbuttoned his waistcoat, his eyes never leaving hers, that heated and intense gaze making her insides quiver with anticipation. Once he cast it aside, he tugged the shirt from his breeches before pulling it over his head in one smooth movement.
Bunty’s mouth went dry.
If she was splendid, he was… magnificent.
Big and broad, his shoulders and arms were impressive enough, and now she saw how he’d lifted her as though she’d been made of spun sugar. His chest, though…. Words failed her, though her fingers itched to touch him, to run her fingers through the fleece of coarse hair on his chest and touch the thick quilting of muscle beneath. The desire to rub herself against him like a cat was almost overwhelming, but then she realised he’d discarded his boots and stockings during her reverie, and his fingers had moved to unbutton the fall of his breeches. Bunty was riveted to the spot, filled with curiosity. She had seen the naked male form before, in sculpture at any rate. Not every figure had a strategically placed fig leaf, though she had always been a little underwhelmed by what she’d seen and wondered how that appendage had done the job required of it. All such questions were firmly—and appropriately—put to bed as Ludo pushed his breeches and small clothes to the floor, and kicked them to one side.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Scandal: a Christmas collection of Historical Romance (Have Yourself a Merry Little... Book 1) Page 28