Kelley patted Nina’s forearm. “Everything will be alright, dear. You’ll see. Text your gentleman friend and start there. All will be set to rights.”
Nina placed her hand over Kelley’s. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Take some cookies. You know Sophie makes extra - special just for you. I’m sure you’ve barely eaten with all this stress. On your way home, stop for one of those decadent lobster salads you love.”
Exhaling roughly, Nina nodded. “You’re right. I’m sure I’ve built it all up.” She laughed nervously. “And a lobster salad sounds amazing. First,” she took a cookie off the plate beside her, “one of these because I’m suddenly starving.”
She chatted a few more minutes with Kelley and Sophie. Taking her time walking across town, she stopped and bought lobster salad. At the last minute, she added a large rare steak, some of their famous garlic knots, and cannoli to her order.
Carrying so much food, she decided to hail a cab to get home faster. In front of her apartment building, she paid the cabby and stepped out on the sidewalk.
Turning, she almost dropped everything in her hands.
James leaned against the wall beside the main door, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked incredible in a suit; his blonde hair swept back from his face.
“Hello, Nina.”
“How…?”
“Bennett is in New York on business. He keeps an apartment on 5th Avenue. Rowan is here as well.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “They’re in for the night so I decided to leave Mary-Margaret in charge and hunt my chosen prey.”
“You can’t come inside,” she said firmly. He gave her a slow smile and her insides clenched in need. “It-it’s small, messy, and not fit for company.”
“Has anyone ever been inside your apartment?”
“Never.”
“Telling.” He paused. “I scoped out the roof while I waited. There are some cute chairs and a table up there. I’ll sit with you while you eat. It’s a gorgeous night.”
Frowning, she stared at the bags in her hand and wondered at how much food she’d ordered. “I don’t...I have too much.”
“Too much what, sweetheart?”
“I-I ordered so much food.” She stared at the takeout and didn’t understand why she’d ordered so much for one meal. It was clearly enough for two people. “It’s too much.”
“Nina?” She looked up and met his eyes. “I swear to respect your boundaries. You have my word.” Removing her keys, she passed him and managed to unlock the outer door. She started to switch everything to her opposite hand and James said, “Allow me.”
Handing him the bags, she went up two flights of stairs to her apartment door and stared at it for a long moment without unlocking it.
“I don’t like people to see me,” she said without looking at him. “I-I don’t want people to know who I am.”
“Let’s go to the roof…”
Shaking her head sharply, she hissed, “I’m not afraid.”
She unlocked the door and placed her things on the narrow table in what passed as her foyer. Keeping her eyes down, she took the food and carried it to her tiny kitchen.
Striving for a flippant tone, she announced, “It’s small. There’s not much to see.”
She made two plates of food and watched him from the corner of her eye. He walked two hundred square feet as if it was two thousand and paused several times to read the spines of her books or look at the few photos she displayed. He glanced in the bathroom before joining her at the kitchen bar.
“You love this apartment,” he remarked as he shrugged off his jacket and removed his shoulder holster. Placing them on one of her barstools, he waited for her to reply.
“I-I like the bodega downstairs.”
“I popped in for a moment. The woman who owns the place reminds me of Miss Jeffries.” Her hands stilled in their movements. “The closest thing to a mother you ever had. It’s understandable to want to be near something familiar. You didn’t know anyone when you came here.”
“No. I didn’t know anyone and I’d burned the bridges to the people behind me.” Holding out a plate of food and silverware, she said, “I always eat here. I don’t have a dining table.”
James took it with a smile. “Standing while you eat is excellent for digestion. Did you know that?” She shook her head. “You’re a trailblazer, Nina.”
She snickered softly and focused on eating. It was the first food she’d really eaten since the day before. Her body needed it.
James ate quickly, efficiently. “Were you coming home from the theater?”
Tightening her fingers on her fork, she shook her head. “Therapy. I-Isaiah suggested Kelley a couple of years ago. She’s a huge theater buff. Knows all the songs...” She frowned at her food. “I don’t know why I told you that.”
“You like her as a person. You want to share her with someone else. It’s human nature. We want others to like what we like and know things we know.”
Chewing and swallowing past the lump in her throat, she said softly, “I told her about you today.”
“First time you’ve seen her since you’ve been back?”
“Uh uh, I just...I wasn’t ready to talk the first three times.”
Without a word, he wiped his mouth on a paper napkin and carried his empty plate to her kitchen sink. He rolled up his sleeves. She didn’t look at him as he washed everything and put it in the drying rack.
“I forgot to offer you something to drink…”
James opened her fridge and selected one of the many bottles of wine. Other than some fruit and a few specialty cheeses, the narrow space was filled with booze.
There was only one drawer in the kitchen and he found the wine opener easily. He took down the only two wine glasses she owned and poured them each a glass.
“What made today different?” he asked as he sipped his wine. “Why did you choose to talk?”
Nina rubbed her temple. “You messed me up.”
“In what way?”
Bracing her hands on the counter, she said through her teeth, “I can’t...I’m having trouble.”
“You’ve lost weight. Are you alright?”
“Yes. No...I don’t know.”
Straightening slowly from where he leaned on the counter, James stared at her for a long moment. “Nina…”
She didn’t look at him. She stared at her food and hoped she didn’t throw up from stress. He walked around the bar and gently took her shoulder. Tilting her face with the side of his hand, he held her gaze.
“You haven’t fucked anyone…”
“You-you messed me up!” She tried to go around him and he took her in his arms. “Let me go!”
Pressing her cheek to his chest, he smoothed her hair. “Stay, Nina. Let me hold you.”
She wanted to physically fight him. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to throw him out of her apartment.
And yet, she didn’t want any of those things.
Inhaling deeply, she whispered, “Please, James.”
He held her tighter, lifted her face, and kissed her deeply. A whimper she couldn’t control escaped and he drank it down.
Picking her up, he carried her to the couch. He laid her down and stretched out on top of her. He supported most of his weight on his forearms and stared into her face.
“Soak up some physical contact for a minute, Nina. Lay here and breathe with me, sweetheart. I’ll give you whatever you want, whatever you need, but first, you need air.” He smiled. “If you can get any with my big ass on top of you.”
She tried so hard to smile, to laugh, to pretend her insides weren’t churning in pain.
Tears slipped into her hair and she told him with strength she didn’t feel, “It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.”
“Stop talking if you’re going to say ridiculous shit, sweetheart. Trying to come up with lies stresses you out more than hearing them does.”
James kissed her again and she didn’t car
e about anything else. All that mattered was that he didn’t stop.
Within seconds, she was fighting for control. Wrapping her leg around his ass, she ground herself against his cock. He grunted and rotated his hips to give her pressure where she was desperate for it.
Breaking the kiss, her body fell over the edge of pleasure she’d even struggled to give herself since leaving his bed. Her muscles tight, James kissed her neck as she absorbed her first relief in weeks.
“More…”
“As much as you want, Nina.” He undressed her and then himself. He sat on the couch and pulled her over his lap after he rolled on a condom. “Take what you need.”
Impaling herself on his cock, she stared into his eyes as she got herself off twice without giving a damn about his needs.
“Just like that, Nina.”
Her arms around his shoulders, she rested her head on her bicep. “I-I…” She was covered in a sheen of sweat. “I need it hard. Fuck me hard, James.”
He flipped them and drove her to the couch so fast that she was dizzy for a moment.
Then he was hammering his cock into her body and she chanted his name as another orgasm built.
“Take me as deep as I can get, as hard as I can give it to you. Let’s get you balanced so you’re not hurting.”
Her eyes rolled back in her head as his body pummeled her to the brink of pain. She soaked him with her release and he lightly bit her shoulder. Still he fucked her and she was soon incoherent.
“Another one. Give me another one, Nina.” Her body obeyed because it seemed she’d been waiting for him. He fucked her through it and growled, “Beautiful pussy just sucking my soul out through my dick.” He pulled back, stripped away the condom, and came all over her as he fisted his cock. Gasping, he met her eyes. “You marked me. I needed to do the same.”
Trailing her fingers through his come, she put them to her lips and sucked it away.
“More. I need more, James.”
“All you can handle, sweetheart.”
She would overdose on him so she could function when he was gone. It was too soon to think about the latter.
The current agenda was making James fuck her as many times as it was physically possible for him to do so.
Like Scarlett, she’d think about the rest tomorrow.
Chapter Eleven
James fucked Nina on her kitchen counter, against the wall beside her front door, and on the floor.
He took her again and again without mercy.
By two in the morning, she was drenched in sweat, delirious, and incapable of standing. James carried her into the bathroom where he’d run a tub of hot water. Other than her couch, it was the largest item in the apartment.
She fell asleep, waking when he started washing her body from where he knelt on the bathroom floor.
He picked her up, supporting her full body weight with one hand while he dried her. As he lifted her into his arms, she rested her cheek against his shoulder.
“Thank you, James.”
Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he said softly, “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
Back in the living room, she realized he’d opened her sleeper sofa. He tucked her in and kissed her cheek.
In and out of consciousness, she heard the shower running and the sound of James moving around her small home.
Lowering to the bed beside her, he held her hand. “Nina.” Exhausted, she struggled to focus. “I’m leaving.”
“A-alright.”
“Let’s figure out a plan for when it gets bad.”
“I’ll be okay. It was...I don’t know what it was.”
“You do know, Nina.” Reaching out, he smoothed his fingers through her hair. “I know you’re going to keep looking for other lovers. I worry it will ramp up your frustration even more, but I get it.” Leaning over, he kissed her lips. “If you need me, you know where I am. You’re the only woman I’ll be fucking so you’re always welcome in my bed.”
“The o-only…?”
“I’ve had the best. Why go back to mediocre?” He smiled and she knew he could probably read her panic. “No pressure, Nina. There’s never any pressure. Not from me.”
“Why did you come?”
Cupping her cheek, he answered, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Inhaling carefully, he added, “When you didn’t respond to my texts, knowing the life you’ve admitted to leading, I got worried. I made a few calls to make sure you were alive.”
“No one does that. Not with me.”
For a long moment, he stared at her. “How alone you are, Nina. Maybe one day, you’ll let me change that.” Giving her a gentle kiss, he rested his forehead against hers. “Call me, text me, send a smoke signal to let me know you’re okay. Reach out if you need me, sweetheart.”
One more kiss and he walked out of her apartment, turning the knob lock as he pulled the door closed behind him.
Nina’s body was boneless and exhaustion claimed her within moments of James’ departure.
She dreamed of him.
* * *
Leaving the shower following a week of grueling rehearsals for a play she regretted auditioning for, Nina wrapped a towel around her. Wiping the steam from the mirror, she took in her appearance.
Too thin.
Too pale.
She hadn’t seen James in four months, three days, and nineteen hours. When he texted her, she always responded. When he called, she ignored it. Instead of leaving her a voicemail, he’d send her an immediate text.
Chicken.
Lotioning her skin, she blow-dried her hair. Her phone rang and she was surprised to see Rowan’s name.
Her old friend had taken to sending Nina cards and letters every week or two since her party. She’d enclose photos of her adventures with Bennett.
Nina could tell by the locations that they were completing her husband’s bucket list. They hadn’t spoken on the phone.
Picking it up, she said, “Rowan, is everything alright?”
She laughed. “Of course! Bennett and I just got into town. We’re staying at the New York apartment before we fly to Iceland day after tomorrow. We’re going whale watching!”
Nina smiled. “That sounds incredible.”
“The last time we were in the city, I had back to back meetings with shareholders and Bennett came down with a nasty flu. I hated not being able to see you. I know it’s last minute but have dinner with us.”
Heart racing, Nina said, “I...alright.”
“I’ll send a car to pick you up!”
“How should I dress…?”
There was a pause on Rowan’s side and then she said quietly, “Wear whatever you want, Nina. You’re always beautiful and appropriate - no matter your outfit.”
Clearing her throat, Nina asked, “What are you wearing?”
“Bennett has chosen a lovely Jackie O ensemble in pale blue for me this evening. He loves classic styles on me and I find they suit. Is an hour enough or do you need more time?”
“Th-that’s fine.”
“I can’t wait to see you.”
After disconnecting, Nina walked to the long, narrow closet she’d had installed after the success of her first play. It was the reason she didn’t have a dining area, but sacrifices had to be made when you were often in the public eye.
Sliding back the triple doors, she stared at the racks of clothing and shoes organized neatly below them in boxes.
“Not yet. Makeup and hair first.”
She carefully pulled her hair into a sleek French twist and smudged her eyes to make them pop. Applying a nude lipstick, a bit of concealer to the circles under her eyes, she stepped into panties and a bra barely visible against her skin. Returning to her closet, she selected a chocolate sheath that clung to her figure and matching suede shoes that gave her four inches of height.
Staring at herself in the mirror that extended from the back of her closet, she pronounced herself good enough.
Other than the house k
ey she tucked into her bra, she left her apartment empty-handed. As she emerged on the sidewalk, a limo waited at the curb.
An attractive older man held the door for her with a smile. “Miss Adams.”
She slid in the back, crossed her hands on her thigh, her ankles at the appropriate angle, and tried to school her thoughts before arriving at the restaurant.
The driver opened the door and another man extended his hand. “Miss Adams. Allow me to escort you inside.”
When she was standing beside him on the sidewalk, she frowned. “You look familiar.”
“Owen Douglas. I do business with Bennett. When he let slip that you were joining them for dinner, I rudely invited myself. I’m a fan of your work.” His eyes flicked down and back to her face. “You are even more beautiful in person.”
He was attractive, clearly wealthy, and had the approval of Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson. Rowan was playing matchmaker.
Nina’s stomach pitched violently and she covered it with a smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Douglas.”
“Owen, please.” With a slight bow, he led her inside.
Rowan stood and came around the table as she entered the private room. “Always so gorgeous, Nina!” She hugged her tighter than Nina expected, started to release her, and hugged her again. “I see you’ve met Owen. He and Bennett are old friends. One casual mention of your upcoming play and he talked our ears off about you. We insisted he join us.”
“Yes. Of course.” Rowan’s husband appeared beside her and she said, “Hello, Bennett.”
“Nina. You look lovely. So glad you could meet us on such short notice. I hope we didn’t disrupt your plans for the evening?”
“No. I didn’t have plans.”
Bennett extended his hand and Nina took it. “You’re too young to spend evenings in.”
“We’re in rehearsals. It’s...been a demanding part. I don’t have much energy at the end of the day.”
He gave her a subtle squeeze and released her hand. “I’m glad Rowan has the opportunity to see you again. Between the company and me, I keep her running around the clock. She’s been hopeful since you left so suddenly last summer.”
“I apologize. One of the cast was injured. We needed to rework several scenes days before opening.”
Run To You: The Damaged Series - Book Four Page 8