I want to ask him how the financial troubles affect his decision, but my gut says that would be a mistake. “I think you’ll know Monday how you feel. I think you’ll know what you want. I think you’ll know what’s right. I’m nervous and excited for you, and not just about pitching. The camp is an amazing idea.”
“I’m pretty pumped about it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before now.”
“It wasn’t the right time. You weren’t in that headspace. You wouldn’t have done it the same way.”
His eyes move over my face, studying me. “You’re pretty smart for a divorce attorney turned romance writer.”
“I don’t know about that. I’m a work in progress, but progress feels better than divorce.”
His cell phone buzzes with a text, and he glances down at it. “Contractor confirming a meeting for today.”
“What contractor?”
“Someone to build me a baseball field right outside these doors.”
I smile. “If you build it, they will come.”
He laughs. “Field of Dreams. It’s technically if you build it, he will come. I think I need to watch that movie again.”
“Me, too, actually.”
He stares at me, and I think he’ll suggest we watch it together, but he doesn’t. I want him to ask me to watch it with him. Seconds tick by, and then he’s smiling, and he really has a charming smile, a smile I realize I haven’t seen until now, not this smile. Not a real smile. He stands up. “I’m going to throw a few more balls. How’s my ball girl holding up?” He pulls me to my feet.
“Reporting for duty, Flying J.”
He winks and my belly flutters. I’m falling in love with him and I’m just his friend. He’s decided this. That’s clear. I need to change how I think about Jason. He needs to be family. He needs to be a big brother. And damn it, I cannot keep looking at his ass and lusting after him.
…
Jason…
When I finally give Jessica a ride to the cottage, it’s all I can do not to walk her inside, strip her naked, and forget everything but her. Damn it, I’m falling for her and I can’t get distracted. I can’t lose focus because I let a woman fuck with my head. Field of Dreams reminded me of that. I can’t get on the mound with a woman on my mind. And yet, she is on my mind. She stays on my mind. It’s all I can do not to take the sketches of the field to show her after my meeting. I return to my house and enter the empty damn kitchen with a jolt of disappointment. She’s not here. Because she’s writing a book. A book that could keep her here, but that’s not going to happen. Everyone wants out of a small town. Everyone. I think of the conversation with Jessica. Does that include my grandmother? Am I blind?
It’s midnight when those thoughts lead me toward the cottage, but I drive by. I drive to the barn and I throw balls, minus the ball girl. Because I can’t count on her to be around. I have to do this on my own. And I have to do it right, and outside of a throwing a ball, I’m not sure what that means.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Jessica…
Sunday morning I’m at Jason’s house early, long before Martha arrives. I’m not baking, though. I’m putting together boxes for the next day’s orders when Jason walks in and, for the first time, I’m not thinking about how hot he is and how much I really am probably already in love with this man.
“I see my ball girl is occupied this morning.” He walks to the coffee pot.
“And suddenly nervous.” I turn to face him as he sets his cup down.
“Why are you nervous? Just yesterday you were on top of the world.”
“Your grandmother wants this to go well, Jason. I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to let her down. What if these are the only orders we get?”
His hand settles on my hip, a current charging with the touch. “I think a whole lot more of you and my grandmother to believe that would ever happen.”
“I do care about her.”
“I know you do.”
“I don’t want to let her down.”
“You won’t. Now. Tell me what we’re doing? What can I help with?”
“Nothing. You go throw balls.”
“You can go with me tonight. Let’s help my grandmother get this going.”
“Jason—”
“Don’t make me kiss you into silence and ruin our vow of friendship. That would be really shitty of me.” He releases me and backs up, turning back to his cup.
I turn to find Martha standing in the doorway, a smile hinted on her lips. She saw. She heard. “How do I bake when you have boxes everywhere?”
Jason turns around to face his grandmother. “I’ll help you get the boxes done, go take a run while you bake, and be back to take you ladies to the feast.”
“Well, then,” she says. “Help from my favorite grandson and my now adopted granddaughter. I’ll take that.”
Her words warm me but also remind me that Jason has reasons for keeping us as friends. Sex muddies the water. Sex can lead to trouble. It leads to beginning and endings. It leads to divorce. Family is forever. “I’m your only grandson, Grandma,” Jason reminds her, stepping to my side and offering me his cup.
“I won’t tell if you don’t tell,” his grandmother teases, grabbing a box and inspecting it.
I stare at Jason’s cup and look up at him. “What are you doing?”
“Try it. I added a special something. I want to see if you can guess what it is.”
Martha looks down, trying to hide a smile. I take the cup, again aware that my mouth is on his mouth. Sort of. I sip and a burst of flavor touches my lips. “Chocolate. I glance up at him, his eyes warm, mischief in their depths. He knows good and well his mouth was on that cup.
“That’s right,” he says. “I have powder in the cabinet. If you want it in the future.”
And so it goes. There’s this warm intimacy between us that stays until he leaves. Even then, it’s there, low in my belly, doing funny things to my body and mind. “I see you two have put fighting behind you,” Martha observes when we’re alone.
“For now,” I say. “That could change at any moment.”
“The fine line,” she says. “It’s always a bumpy ride to the other side.” She winks and grabs a bag of sugar.
…
A few hours later, Jason returns and checks in with us on his way to shower. “How are my two ladies doing?”
His two ladies. He’s killing me right now. And when his eyes meet mine, those are not friendship butterflies I feel low in my belly.
“We’re good,” Martha says. “Almost ready to go feed the hordes.”
Jason eyes me. “You?”
“Good. How was the run?” I ask, code for: how’s your arm?
“Felt good. Real damn good.” He gives me a nod and disappears.
When he returns, we’re ready to leave, and this time when I slide in next to Jason, I’m even more aware of how close he is. My God, my body is tingling all over. I need to touch him. I need him to touch me. We’re about to leave, and he leans over the seat to grab something from the floor, his arm brushing my leg. A charge shoots through me and I all but gasp. He knows. I sense that in him. He did that on purpose, and bless him for it. I swear I needed that.
A few minutes later, he helps his grandmother out of the truck, and when it’s my turn, he offers me his hand. I don’t take it. I can’t touch this man again and stay steady on my feet. I got my fix in the truck. I climb out and run my palms down my hips. “Thank you.”
His lips quirk. “Friends, right?”
“Yes.” His grandmother is already heading for the door, and I step to Jason. “What is up with you? What happened to friends?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You do know. You’re confusing me. I don’t know how to be friends like this. Either I’m obviously
in a different place than you, or you’re enjoying playing with me. It’s messing with my head. I’m going to get hurt. I don’t have the capacity to get hurt by you right now. I don’t want to lose you or this place. I don’t want to lose your grandmother, and I’m rambling. I don’t ramble.” I try to walk away.
He catches my arm and pulls me back to him. “Jessica.”
“Really, Jason. You’re confusing me. This is going to end badly. I’m doing this thing with your grandmother and—”
“Okay, you two,” Martha says. “Snap. Snap. We need to get everything inside.”
For a moment, Jason doesn’t let me go. He just doesn’t, but finally he says, “We’ll talk later.”
And then I’m free and confused, flying like a bird into the building. Once I’m inside, I’m greeted by familiar faces and eager to join Jimbo to start serving. It’s not until I’m behind the serving station that I realize I brought none of the food. Jason did, though. He’s walking toward me, and he sets Tupperware down in front of me.
“We’re going to talk. Alone. After this is over.” He doesn’t wait for a reply. He walks away, and I start unpacking, not sure what just happened between us. I can’t think about it now and stay pulled together.
Thankfully, I’m talking to Jimbo when Jason brings the rest of the desserts. I don’t look at him, but inevitably Martha comes to check on me. “What happened?”
“Nothing bad. All is well. I promise.”
She squeezes my arm. “You two need to talk, really talk. Or just get naked and be done with it.” She walks away, and I swear I feel Jason looking at me, hot and heavy, but I don’t seek out his stare.
About an hour into the line, Allen comes up to me. “We still on for that ride today?”
“Oh. I want to, but today is bad, after all. We’re getting ready for some orders for Martha’s new bakery.”
He’s instantly engaged and excited for Martha, but he doesn’t give up on the ride. “How about later this week?” he asks.
“Yes. Great.”
“How about Wednesday? We can meet here?”
“Okay, yes. Wednesday, but it’s not a date. This is a friends thing, right?”
“Friends,” he agrees.
“Great. Thanks for doing this.”
He smiles and walks away, and my eyes meet Jason’s where he’s sitting with Roarke a few tables from my serving area, his stare sharp. I cut mine and talk to Jimbo and Martha, who are standing a few feet away. “I’m going to go. I have to get some work done, and we have an early morning tomorrow.”
“We do,” Martha says. “So exciting. You want me to get Jason to take you home?”
“No. I didn’t run this morning. I need to walk.”
Her eyes light with understanding. “I hope you two talk.”
“We will,” I promise, hugging her, and I slip toward the backdoor where the crowd hides my exit from Jason. I start walking, taking the long way to avoid being seen, thankful that today I have on my ugly boots. The grass is high and I keep running in random places to avoid snakes.
I can’t get home fast enough. I really can’t. The sun is hot. The walk stretches eternally, but finally my little cottage appears. I’m home and I’m inside the door quickly, cool air blowing over me. Kelly greets me, and I love on her, feed her, and then pull off my boots before I walk into the bedroom, stripping away my jeans and pulling on leggings and a tank top. I’m going to write, and when it cools off I’m going to go run. Or not. That’s Jason’s spot. I’m not going to talk to Jason. Not tonight. I need to breathe. I need to think.
I walk back into the kitchen and Kelly is sitting in front of the refrigerator, staring down at the floor beside it. “Kelly?”
She doesn’t look at me.
“Kelly? What are you doing?”
I squat to look and a mouse runs right at Kelly. I scream and jump to my feet, running for the door. Yanking it open, I launch myself forward and smack into Jason. “A mouse. A mouse. There’s a mouse.”
He laughs. “This is the country, sweetheart.”
“Okay, you were right. I’m going back to the city.”
He strokes my hair from my face. “I won’t let you leave over a mouse. Where is it?”
“I think Kelly has it. Oh God, don’t let her eat it.”
He kisses me fast and hard. “Wait here.” He sets me aside and walks into the cottage.
My fingers touch my lips. He just kissed me. I follow him inside. “You just kissed me. We said—”
Kelly tosses the mouse in the air. I scream, and when the mouse lands in front of me and it’s still alive, I scream again. I jump over it and go straight to the bedroom, launching myself into the bathroom and sitting on the sink. Feet off the ground. I’m never stepping on the floor again. Ever.
There are noises and meows and then silence. “Jason!” Silence. “Jason,” I whisper.
He appears in the doorway, a smirk on his face. “It’s handled and you scream like a girl.”
“I am a girl and I’m not ashamed. Where is it?”
“It’s gone. I’ll get some traps out, but with a cat, you aren’t likely to have this issue again. That was an anomaly.”
“Obviously she’s not a scary enough cat. I need like ten cats. I need to become a cat lady. Now I know why cat ladies exist.”
He enters the bathroom, and it shrinks even before he stops in front of me and presses his hand to the counter on either side of me. “You kissed me,” I say, and damn it my voice trembles.
“Yes. I did. And I’m going to kiss you again. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because last night, when I couldn’t sleep and I was pitching balls without my ball girl, I decided that it’s time to live again. It’s time to stop denying myself what I want.”
“Baseball. You’re going to play again?”
“Yes. Baseball. And you, Jessica.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Jessica…
Jason leans in to kiss me. I catch his shirt. “What happened to talking?”
“Fuck talking,” he says, and then suddenly, he’s tugging my hair and slanting my mouth to his, in a deep, drug-me-and-turn-me-inside-out kind of kiss.
“What happened to friends?” I demand, shoving at his chest. “Friends don’t have sex.”
“I never said we were just friends.”
“Oh.”
“Oh,” he repeats, and then he’s kissing me again, drugging me again, and while I have warning bells going off in my head, my body has none, not a one. It’s humming with pleasure every time his hand slides here or there, which it’s doing plenty of right now.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he says, pulling his shirt over his head, “but I had you lying on top of me for four hours. This isn’t going to be slow and easy. We’ll do that tonight.”
“Tonight?” I ask as he drags my shirt over my head, his eyes sizzling a path over my naked breasts.
“Yes, tonight,” he says, and already his mouth is on my mouth again, his hand cupping my breast, pinching my nipple and moving on to slide my pants down my legs.
It’s a wild, frenzied, tug here, tug there, step here and there, kind of thing that has enough tongue and touching action in between to have my sex clenching and my thighs slick. I end up on the counter, while he’s naked and perfect with the most amazing, powerful thighs, and well, his cock is still quite impressive, too. He reaches for a condom package and the damn thing flies out of his hand across the room. He curses and I grab his arm. “I’m on the pill, but I need to know you really aren’t a manwhore. Because A) I don’t want you if you are, and B) I don’t want to catch something from you.”
He cups my head and says, “I told you I’m not that guy.”
“But Tessa was that girl. She slept around. You said—”
“We used condoms,” he say
s.
“Craig was a manwhore, so if you don’t want to—”
His answer is kissing me again, and good Lord, I love the way this man kisses me, like he can’t get enough of me, like he needs more every time he gets more. Still, somehow I manage to tear my mouth from his. “Are you going to decide I’m the devil from the city the minute this is over?”
“Are you going to decide I’m the asshole cowboy?”
“Maybe.”
He nips my bottom lip and then presses inside me, stretching me and pressing deep. His hands come down on my backside and he lifts me. “Then we both better hold on tight,” he says, and I’m convinced he’s right.
My legs wrap his waist, and he’s right. There’s no slow and easy to this. This is fast, hard, and wild in a way I never was with Craig. He lifts me, those powerful thighs holding me up, pulling me down. Over and over, until somehow he’s carried me to the bed, laid me down, and driven into me with a whole new definition of pleasure following. My orgasm is fast and unexpected, my sex clenching while his cock drives harder into me.
I shudder and he follows, the hard lines of his body jerking with his release, with my release. He collapses over me, and I sink deeper into the mattress. I expect some weird, awkward moment to follow, but it doesn’t come. He kisses me and then cups my backside and carries me into the bathroom, where he sits me down and offers me a towel.
“You were very trusting not to use the condom,” I say. “What if I wanted you to be my baby daddy and produce an heir to the baseball mound?”
He laughs and starts pulling his pants on. “Trust is why I did it.” He doesn’t button his pants. He leans into me, pressing his hands on either side of my hips. “If I still thought you were the devil from the city, would I have done that?”
My hand settles on his shoulder. “Why did you change your mind about us?”
“For two hours, I stood in that barn, throwing balls, while denying myself everything I want. The minute I decided to say fuck it, and go for it—baseball and you—I pitched the best pitches of my life. When I woke up, I tried to rein myself in, but when I walked into the kitchen and saw you this morning, I knew there was no fighting anymore. You have me. If you shred me, sweetheart, I’m going to enjoy the ride until we get there.”
The Truth About Cowboys Page 26