Mom Rachel put a glass of seltzer in front of Abby. “Honey, that’s how it is after surgery. You’re out of it and you sleep a lot. The surgeon said there were no complications and Paul did great.”
Abby took a bubbly sip of seltzer. “I’m glad he’s okay. I was worried today in school.” She decided not to tell her mom about Miranda and Laura since she had enough to think about with Paul. “What’s next?”
Mom Rachel leaned on the counter. “They’ll test the tumor and let us know the best treatment, although they already gave us a good idea of what it will be. It’s going to be tough.”
Abby nodded.
“We’ll have to help Paul get through it.”
Feeling like a knight on a horse about to ride in and save the day, Abby said, “We’ve got this, Mom.”
“Love you, Abs.”
Abby let her mom’s words fill her up.
“I should be making a new YouTube video for my channel today, but…” Mom Rachel tilted her head toward the living room where Paul was asleep on the couch. “If I don’t put the videos out on a weekly schedule, my subscribers tend to drop off. Then I don’t make as much money from advertisers. Or from my e-cookbook sales.”
“Maybe you could make the video tomorrow.”
Mom Rachel nodded. “Guess I’ll be making that one solo. Paul will probably spend the day in bed tomorrow.”
Abby thought about helping her mom with the video, and her stomach bunched into a knot. “I guess so.”
“Want a snack, Abs?”
She shook her head. “I’m going to sit out there with Paul.”
“He might keep sleeping. We can’t expect much from him today.”
“That’s all right.” Abby finished her seltzer. “I just want to be near him.”
Mom Rachel reached out and patted Abby’s hand. “You’re a good sister. You know that?”
Abby nodded. Paul is a good brother. She went into her room and grabbed her supplies to work on crocheting her endless afghan in the living room near Paul. Sitting on the chair near him, Abby kept an eye on him while she crocheted.
Mom Rachel came into the living room, removed the frozen petite peas ice pack, and tossed it into the freezer. She brought it back twenty minutes later. “To keep the swelling down,” she whispered to Abby.
Later, Mama Dee came home from her shop, Dee’s Delights, with a box of Paul’s favorite cupcakes—chocolate ganache with peanut butter frosting.
Everyone took care of Paul in the best way they knew how.
Even Miss Lucy curled up at the end of the couch by Paul’s feet and napped with him.
Abby felt sure Fudge was sending Paul good turtle-y thoughts from his tank in her bedroom.
* * *
When Abby and Conrad got home from school the next day, Paul was sitting on a folding chair in front of the garage.
“Hey, Six-Pack!” He waved, then hunched forward.
Abby ran over and gave her brother a quick hug. “How are you doing?”
“Hey, man.” Conrad shook Paul’s hand. “Hope you’re feeling okay.”
“I’m good,” Paul said. “Thanks.”
Conrad nodded. “Well, I’ll see you later. Tons of homework.”
Abby waved, then after Conrad went into his house/Cat’s house, she got a folding chair from the garage and sat next to her brother. It felt good to sit outside with him in the warm sunshine.
“Glad you’re home,” Paul said. “It’s boring sitting around all day while everyone else is in school. I couldn’t even play the banjo. It hurt to hold it on my lap.”
“Ow. Sorry.” Abby patted her brother’s arm. “Where’s Mom Rachel?”
“Food shopping.”
Abby leaned forward. “Can I get you anything?”
“Like frozen petite peas?”
Abby grinned. “One time I had to wear frozen petite peas on my head like a hat after I stood up really fast and banged it on the underside of a drawer.”
“Oh, I remember that. You looked ridiculous walking around with frozen petite peas on your head. The moms have to buy an actual ice pack.”
“They really do.” Abby pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. “You seem so much better today.” Abby wanted to believe this meant Paul would be fine and maybe not even need chemotherapy.
“Yeah, I guess I was out of it yesterday from the anesthesia. I’m still sore, though.” Paul shifted in his chair and grimaced. “It hurts to walk. And sit. And move.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
Paul shook his head. “Nah, it should get better soon, but I want to go back to school. It’s boring at home. Mom Rachel said I have to give it at least one more day. She doesn’t want anyone bumping into me in the halls.”
“Yeah, I guess that would hurt.”
“It would, but if I could leave class—”
Mom Rachel pulled her car into the driveway. She smiled and waved through the windshield.
“Paul, I’m really glad the surgery is over.”
“Me too. Wish I was all done with the chemo, too.”
Abby saw worry in her brother’s eyes.
“Groceries!” Mom Rachel called after she opened the car door.
Paul and Abby got up and met Mom Rachel at the trunk of her car.
Mom Rachel poked Paul in the chest. “Not you, buddy. No lifting yet. Abby and I have got this.”
Abby smiled at her mom’s confidence in her and carried four bags at once while her mom carried two.
“Show-off,” Paul teased Abby.
She did bicep curls with the heavy bags and watched Paul walk haltingly into the house.
“I’m exhausted watching you both carry all those bags,” Paul said. “I’m going to take a quick nap.”
Mom Rachel kissed him on the cheek. “Rest well, sweetheart. Dinner will be ready when you get up.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Miss Lucy pranced behind Paul and followed him into his room.
“I think that dog is your brother’s number one caretaker. She’s been his little shadow since Paul got home from surgery.”
“The whole family has Paul’s back,” Abby said.
Mom Rachel smiled. “It seems that way.”
Abby helped her mom put away groceries, but the minute she set up the camera to start filming, Abby hurried to her room and sat on her desk chair. “I’m not feeling brave enough to help Mom with her videos yet,” she told Fudge.
Fudge settled onto his rock and looked at Abby with his mouth open.
Even though Miranda and Laura had ignored Abby since they offered her their unwanted “advice,” their words still rattled around in her brain, making her doubt herself.
“Those girls are mean,” she told Fudge, “but they’re not wrong.”
Abby put her head in her hands. “I’ll probably never make a friend in my classes. No one will ever want to eat lunch with me. I don’t even know why Conrad wants to be my friend. He’ll probably dump me as soon as he finds someone better.”
Fudge opened his mouth wider, like he was paying attention.
Abby let out a sigh.
He slipped into the water and swam to Abby so their faces were only centimeters apart with the glass of the tank between them.
“Thanks, buddy.” Abby touched her fingers to the tank. “You’re a good listener.”
* * *
Just about three weeks after his surgery, Paul felt well enough to take Abby to her favorite place—Winding River Park.
As soon as they got out of the car, a peacock with its feathers fanned out approached. When it let out a sharp squawk, Abby shrieked.
Paul put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Abs.”
“They’re so loud.” Abby caught her breath. “And unexpected.”
“The world is loud and unexpected,” Paul said.
As they walked toward the entrance of the park, Abby thought about what Paul said. Loud cars. Loud TV. Loud people, like Miranda and Laura. The park was dif
ferent, though. There were sounds, but peaceful ones—a squirrel running up a tree, a deer bounding through the woods, a breeze rustling palm fronds. The quiet of the woods always restored Abby in a way that helped her deal with the loud world outside the park.
Paul and Abby walked side by side through the canopy of trees at the entrance and over a wooden bridge, their sneakers tapping on the planks.
Abby breathed in the smell of fresh pine, and also decaying leaves. “I love it here.”
“I know you do, Six-Pack.”
“You sure this isn’t too much walking for you?”
“Nah,” Paul said. “I feel really good now.”
Abby wrapped an arm around her brother’s skinny waist, leaned into him, and squeezed. “I wish you didn’t have to start chemotherapy tomorrow.”
“Let’s not talk about it.”
Abby nodded.
They walked along the sandy path, paying careful attention to the trees they passed in case they spotted a baby owl. That had happened only once, and Paul was the one who had noticed it. He had pointed Abby toward the hole in a tree where an owl was perched. She had felt tingles as she looked at the little owl, who was more feathers than anything else. Abby had hoped to spot another owl ever since, but with no luck so far.
As they curved around the path that ran along the water, Abby pointed at three turtles sunning on a log in the shallow, slow-moving wisp of an offshoot of the river. “Look. Fudge’s cousins.”
“Ha. Yeah. Oh, Abs, look past the turtles.” Paul positioned Abby so she had a clear view of the far bank of the river where a gator was sunning itself.
“Cool.”
“Yeah, I’m glad it’s on that side, though.”
“Me too.”
After they passed a small orange grove and continued along the shaded path, a pack of wild turkeys gobbled after one another and ran across the path to the other side of the woods, which made Paul and Abby laugh so hard, they stopped and bent over.
“Turkeys are hilarious,” Paul said.
“They really are.”
Abby noticed Paul didn’t wince from laughing or bending. He was doing so much better since his surgery that it was hard for Abby to believe he could still have something as scary as cancer inside his body, but Mama Dee explained that even though the surgeon removed his diseased testicle, there could still be cancer cells in Paul’s body. That’s why he needed chemotherapy to get rid of all of them.
Abby wished she could stay in the park like this forever. No cancer treatments. No lonely lunchroom in her crowded middle school. No Miranda and Laura. But staying in the park forever would also mean no more walking to and from school with Conrad, and that wouldn’t be worth it.
Paul and Abby continued to the back of the park, not talking, just noticing. Then they strolled around the big tree-lined loop that would eventually lead them to the trail out.
Abby squinted at bright sunlight filtering through the leaves. “I don’t want this walk to end.”
Paul stopped and looked up too. “Yeah. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, other than it’s going to make me really sick before it makes me better.”
Abby reached for her brother’s hand. “Paul, please be okay.”
He squeezed his sister’s fingers. “I’ll do my best, Six-Pack.”
Round One
Abby woke before her alarm the next morning and dressed quickly, yanking on jeans, a T-shirt, and her black Converse. Her sneakers weren’t colorful like Mom Rachel’s rainbow ones, but she loved them anyway.
She still couldn’t believe her moms were letting her go to the hospital to help Paul get settled in for his week of chemotherapy. Abby didn’t want to do anything that might make them change their minds, like not being ready on time. She knew if they made her go to school, she’d spend the whole time worrying about Paul and wouldn’t be able to focus on her work anyway.
“Come on, Paul,” Mama Dee said from the hallway outside Abby’s bedroom door. “There’s no way around this, bud. You have to go.”
Abby stood very still but couldn’t hear what Paul said. What if Paul refuses to go to the hospital? What if there is cancer in his body and it keeps growing? He promised he’d do his best to be okay.
Abby opened her door, not sure what she could do to help convince her brother to go to the hospital and get his treatment.
Paul, with his hair sticking up in forty-two different directions, shuffled in front of her and went into the bathroom as though it were any other day.
Mama Dee, hand on her hip, nodded.
Abby let out a breath, then prepared food for Fudge—carrots, green beans, and bok choy. Once her turtle was happily munching on his veggies, Abby packed a bag of things to do in the hospital in case there would be a lot of waiting. She brought the notebook from Cat if she felt inspired to write a poem, and a book of Mary Oliver’s poetry, which her Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Steve had given her last Hanukkah. Sometimes Mary Oliver’s poems transported her to Winding River Park and filled her with peace. Abby also added a deck of cards if Paul got bored and wanted to play a game with her or play Solitaire when he was by himself.
“Hey, Butterbean,” Mom Rachel said when Abby came out to the kitchen.
Abby noticed dark circles under her mom’s eyes.
“Hey, Mom.”
Mama Dee filled a coffee mug, then picked up her phone and started tapping keys. “Want to make sure they remember the big cupcake order we got yesterday. And that fire truck birthday cake is going to be picked up this morning.”
Mom Rachel reached an arm around Mama Dee. “They’ll remember everything, hon.”
Mama Dee put down her phone. “I know. I’m just nervous.”
Mom Rachel nodded. “We all are.”
Miss Lucy barked.
“Oh, I almost forgot to feed her. My head’s a mess today.” Mom Rachel filled Miss Lucy’s bowl and put it on the floor as Paul came out.
“Guess I’m ready,” he said.
Mom Rachel gave him a hug and leaned her cheek on his chest.
Mama Dee held up her mug. “Coffee, Paul?”
“Nah.” Paul came over and rested his chin on top of Abby’s head. “Ew. Six-Pack, you need to wash your hair.”
“Paul!”
“What? You do.”
Abby wasn’t really mad at him, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had washed her hair. “I’ll wash it tonight.”
“Good.” Paul held his nose. “P. U.”
“Paul!” Abby was secretly glad her brother was able to goof around a little on the morning he would start chemotherapy.
Mama Dee put her mug in the sink. “I hate to say this, but we’d better get going.”
Paul swallowed. “Guess so.”
Abby ran up and hugged him tight.
He patted her back. “It’ll be okay, Six-Pack.”
But it sounded to Abby like Paul was saying the words to convince himself. He wasn’t doing a good job of it; Abby noticed him shivering, and it wasn’t cold in the house.
* * *
On the drive to the hospital, Paul looked out his window in the back seat and didn’t talk.
Abby thought about reaching over and patting his knee, but when she looked closely, she saw her brother nervously tapping his fingers. This made her nervous.
She pulled out her phone and texted Cat.
Paul is the bravest person I know. We’re heading to the hospital right now for his first chemotherapy treatment. He didn’t want to go, but we’re going.
Cat responded immediately.
You’re brave too, Abby. Wish I could be there for you. xoxo
Abby hadn’t thought of herself as brave. Cat always saw things in her that she didn’t see in herself. Her phone vibrated. Abby thought it was another message from Cat, but it was from Conrad.
I’ll miss walking to school with you today. Hope everything goes okay with your brother.
Abby closed her eyes for a moment. She didn�
�t have Cat to help her through this, but Conrad was proving to be a supportive friend.
She replied to his text.
We’re almost at the hospital now. Mama Dee will bring me to school as soon as Paul settles in, so we can walk home together.
Sounds good. See you soon, Abby.
Conrad’s text made Abby feel better. It was good to know she’d have the walk home from school to look forward to.
As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, Abby put her phone away and glanced at her brother.
Paul looked like he might throw up, and he hadn’t even gotten any chemo yet.
Mama Dee swiveled around from the passenger seat and tapped Paul’s knee. “You ready for this, bud?”
He shook his head. “I’m scared because I have no idea what to expect.”
Mom Rachel pulled into a spot and cut the engine. She reached her hand back, and Paul grabbed it.
“We’re here for you, Paul,” Mom Rachel said.
Mama Dee put her hand on top. “We’ve all got your back.”
Abby put her hand on top of theirs.
Paul inhaled deeply and then exhaled. “Okay. Let’s do this thing.”
Bravest person I know, Abby thought.
* * *
Abby stayed close to her family as they walked through the doors into the hospital.
Everything was painted in bright colors—oranges, reds, and purples—and there were big pictures of monkeys hanging from the ceiling over the counter where someone said, “Good morning. May I help you?”
Looking at the child-friendly decorations, Paul muttered, “Great.”
Mama Dee poked him and smiled for the woman at the counter. “Yes, we need to check him in for the fifth floor.”
“Oncology,” the woman said. “May I see your ID and have the name of the patient?”
“Paul Braverman,” Mama Dee said while she pulled out her license.
The woman made a call, then said, “They’re all ready for you upstairs, Paul. The elevators are around that corner.”
Everyone but Paul had to get their photo taken and was handed a visitor’s badge to wear.
Abby, Tried and True Page 9