by Drea Shane
I held it together until reaching my room. Making sure to lock the door, I flung myself onto the bed, content to wallow in my grief. Soon, Assembly would begin.
Lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling wasn’t accomplishing anything. My brain crowded with sarcastic thoughts—defense against emotional bullshit. Now my innocence had shredded and shit happened. Also, a train might hit me at a speed of twenty WTF’s per hour. See? I didn’t need my sharp tongue for that one.
Dinner was a bit of a larger affair than I expected tonight. More of our pack wolves had come, out of sheer curiosity. Assembly was a huge deal, and many of the wolves wanted to see how today’s drama would unfold.
I’m sure they were hoping for gossip fodder. They were the worst when it came to blabbing. No pair of lips stayed sealed. If there was so much more to this that Dad hadn’t shared yet, I couldn’t blame them for wanting gossip.
My Alpha sat at the head of the table in his imposing and larger armchair. Joe sat to his immediate right, and I sat in the chair on his left. Ah, pack hierarchy. If Joe didn’t fight for me, I’d be in the clear.
I usually pissed him off on a regular basis. He might think I’d be more trouble than I was worth. That would work in my favor for once. I had no desire to stay here anymore. If my life needed to change, I wanted it to be a completely fresh start.
He was hot in a ‘I will kick your ass’ kind of way. Everything about him screamed badass. Too bad he was my father’s lapdog and replacement. I could’ve taken some interest in his tall stature and mesmerizing, green eyes.
Catching Joe glaring at me, I refocused on my dinner. He was still mad for all the chasing I made him do. Not that it was anything new, but the intensity of my turmoil had to be uncomfortable for him to interrupt. Usually, he gave as good as he got.
I didn’t hate the wolf, I hated his position in the pack. We had some chemistry, no denying that. At my dad’s request, I was off limits to all pack members. I turned that fire smoldering between us into anger. I challenged him both physically and verbally.
Thoughts turned to dinner as the Alpha quieted the crowd and said thanks to the Goddess.
“I bless this meal provided by the moon goddess and the chance to share our sustenance as a pack. You are all welcome in my home. With prayers to Selene, I deem the dinner purified and give permission to begin.”
We were having steak and potatoes tonight. It was one of my favorites because I was always starving after a shift. I devoured it as if I hadn’t eaten in days. My wolf wasn’t satisfied until my second helping disappeared.
The best thing about being a shifter was our metabolism. I loved to eat and it was acceptable in our culture to pig out on anything we wanted. I never gained weight, and when my birthday arrived, each curve would remain for good.
Finally finished, I patted my mouth with the cloth napkin and asked the Alpha for dismissal. All the eyes on me looking with such curiosity was too much. I wasn’t ready for that kind of attention.
Granted, my naked display prompted most of the stares. Knowing they were undressing me with every assessment, grossed me out. There were some wolves I didn’t want any attention from. Giving them material for their ‘spank bank,’ as the enforcers referred to it, left me feeling violated.
But it’s my fault in the first place, so I couldn’t pass judgment. They were all wolves full of virility and needs. It was selfish of me to get them worked up. I realized how much of a tease that made me.
Even after my pitiful internal revelation, there still hadn’t been an answer. Unless he consented, I was duty-bound to stay exactly where I was. He must’ve seen something in my expression because he finally agreed.
Dad needed time to cool off, and I could only hope he would come to his senses about Assembly. It was a minuscule probability, but a girl could hope, especially when it was all we had left.
Once the Alpha consented to my request, I bolted up the stairs and back to my room. It felt like the safest place for me right now.
It was my only true escape. The space was mine, and as a wolf, I was territorial. The pack respected another wolf’s haven and steered clear. Aside from Dad and Joe, others rarely stepped into my room. Thank the Goddess for small favors.
The need my wolf had to dominate was growing stronger with every choice made for me. I couldn’t believe I was being “auctioned” off. That was the only word to come to mind. Well, aside from pimping me out; but even the Alpha’s daughter wasn’t bold enough to express that sentiment.
I knew how important the continuation of our species was. Making it a reality was a very different thing. My future expectations were set from an early age. I thought there’d be a way around it if given more time.
Feeling deflated, I changed into a tank top and plaid boy-shorts. Sitting in the cozy window seat, I turned on my tablet and tried to get lost in an eBook. Reading could soothe my thoughts and take me away from life for a while.
I chose a book that was the furthest from anything romantic or shifter related. Zombies. That would do the trick.
There wasn’t anything romantic about cannibalistic corpses with rotting flesh. They lacked intelligence. All the characters took their anger on them by pure force and aggression. Now I wished it was me cutting down those zombies, unleashing my fury.
In retrospect, I regretted not getting into all those video games the guys obsessed over. It was clear now; they used gaming as an outlet for our natural aggression. Clever.
I only made it five percent in before I became distracted. Reading the same page three times was the cue to give up. There was too much on my mind to let go.
Pacing for a while didn’t calm my racing mind either. Only a run could do that, and Joe would be on the lookout now. His anger at dinner told me he wasn’t ready to forgive yet.
Knowing didn’t stop me, though. Everything inside me was restless and uncomfortable. Nothing but a shift would calm these feelings. Even the few minutes of time with my wolf this afternoon weren’t enough to quell our need to come together. I was itching to burn off my energy and clear my mind. It was no longer a desire, but a primal need spreading through my veins like wildfire.
The closer it got to my birthday, the stronger the pull between me and my wolf became. We grew up as separate entities, like two souls sharing one body.
Our true self would appear on our eighteenth birthday. My wolf and I would meld into one being until we were whole.
When my wolf grew more impatient, I acted. I didn’t even bother to put on shoes, knowing they would come off when I stripped down for the change.
At that train of thought, I bypassed the stripping part and prepared to leave the room in my bra and panties. They were older and I didn’t care about shredding them. Although, after the free show I gave the pack earlier today, nudity didn’t matter anyway.
Opening my window, I looked down to see who was guarding me. To my surprise, no one was down there. I did see a low-ranking wolf, Patrick, down toward the front of the property.
He was on the lookout for any incoming wolves since Dad probably made most of the calls. They were too busy planning Assembly to worry about me. Especially after my display this afternoon. Needing to shift more than once on the same day didn’t happen often, so I wouldn’t be a focus tonight.
If caught, there’s no doubt I’d pay for my actions. At least shifter healing took care of the broken rib from earlier. Patrick was far enough away that I could leave undetected, but only if I was silent. I was going in the opposite direction anyway.
Deciding it was now or never, I jumped. Rolling into the fall, I landed silently, thanks to werewolf agility. When no one came after me, I bolted. The tree line was within my field of vision, and I made my way to it. Once under the cover of night, I fell on all fours.
Sharp pains raced through me as the change began. Bones cracked as they reformed. Heat radiated off my body, and fur began to sprout. My snout grew, along with long canines.
It took several minutes for the
entire transformation to complete. I couldn’t enjoy or savor the process yet again. No matter how much I craved the sensations and unification, my wolf didn’t want to chance getting caught.
Once wholly wolf, I bounded off to run through the forest. We would hunt tonight and enjoy our kill. It felt good to be on four legs. My sense of smell heightened. My silver eyes were sharper, and the wind blew through my white fur.
Staring up at the night sky, I resisted the urge to howl. That would give me away. I got this sliver of freedom and wouldn’t waste it. My wolf and I both needed this, and we became one, at least for this short span of time.
There was rustling, and I worried one of the pack enforcers had found me. Instead, a rabbit revealed itself. As soon as it saw me, the poor thing tried to bolt.
It was no match for my wolf, and I pounced in seconds. My paws scrambled for traction in the packed earth, and my elegant form twisted into the attack. I caught the rabbit in-between my mandibles. The deep hunger roiling inside my wolf begged for it.
My teeth tore into the soft flesh of the small creature. I savored the taste of rabbit blood on my tongue, dribbling down my throat like a sweet, metallic liqueur. Its flesh was easy to rip apart, allowing me to eat the meat of the rabbit. The tender insides, raw and salty, helped curb my appetite and need to hunt.
Finally, I sat there, sated. The fresh kill was exactly what my wolf needed to calm down. She’d been so restless this past week, as the new month began—my birthday drawing closer. Something was coming and change was on the horizon.
I assumed it was Assembly coming together, but my wolf assured me that wasn’t it. Whatever would change was big, much bigger than I could imagine. She tried to reassure me, but with everything going on, it was one more thing to freak over.
Being one like this, we shared feelings and could communicate on a primal level. I loved the way I felt so complete with my wolf as an integral part of me. Regardless of my worries, she soothed my anxiety.
Somehow, her intuition insisted these ‘other’ changes were not to fear. I’d complete faith in her instincts, so I gave in to reassurances. We’d digest whatever would happen soon enough.
That acquiescence didn’t mean my curiosity hadn’t grown. If only she wasn’t so vague. I wasn’t used to her speaking in riddles or being evasive. It was one more thing upsetting our balance.
We were ready to play now, with our hunger sated. I frolicked in the woods, darting between the trees at impossible speeds. We were getting faster and more agile.
The undergrowth brushed along my legs, and the roughness of tree bark scored my sides. It didn’t bother me since the wounds would heal in the blink of an eye.
Our heightened senses cataloged everything. Notes of pine, sap, bark, freshly turned earth, and so much more—it became hard to keep track.
My wolf and I reveled in satisfaction, making my birthday feel that much further away. I could feel her impatience for us to join. Regardless of the secrets between us, our unity was the priority. Until then, everything would remain disjointed. The puzzle pieces of our true path in life would stay scattered.
I slowed down when there was a whooshing sound behind me. All contemplation left in favor of being the predator and not prey. We were too dominant to acknowledge defeat and would fight to the death if needed. After the incident with Mom, I knew the other possibility would be a fate worse than death.
For some reason, my heightened senses hadn’t picked anything up. That never happened. I was a damn good tracker, and my awareness of our surroundings was always in the forefront of my mind.
Had I been that consumed in thought to lose track of myself? With a quick, discrete scan, my eyes didn’t pick up anything out of the ordinary. In fact, this was the heart of the territory, and I was nowhere near the edges of our land where rogues could even see me.
Even though my wolf and I were blind to whatever lurked, we were certain it breached our solitude. Someone was watching us.
I whirled around and let out a menacing growl. It was a warning not to underestimate me as easy prey.
When I did, a large wolf stood there, looking at me with hungry eyes. My brain warned me to run fast and far, but my wolf refused to listen. She was basking in the attention, serene almost.
He had a gray coat, silver highlighted the beautiful color. His eyes drew me in, dark as night with a ring of a silver halo. That’s what startled me the most. I’d never seen anyone with silver eyes or even a hint of silver. It was the most unusual thing about my wolf.
The draw between us was unsettling, yet exciting at the same time. This wolf wasn’t someone from my overprotective pack. Was he dangerous? Maybe. The pack sheltered me all my life. I didn’t have a frame of reference for a situation like this—except my traumatic experience in the past with the rogue.
He couldn’t be a rogue if he was standing in pack territory. Only pack wolves could step foot on our land. It was unknown magic protecting our pack. No reason to question a good thing, in my opinion. As far as I knew, all packs had that protection. That was why staying away from the boundaries was so important. We were fair game if we breached their boundary.
Sensing my hesitation, he slowly approached, on his belly, keeping his neck exposed to me in a sign of respect. I was the Alpha’s daughter and pack princess, so it was customary to show your submission. The gesture put me at ease. He obviously meant me no harm. It was curious how my wolf had no apprehension around this new shifter. She sure as heck wasn’t sharing her reasons with me, though. Bitch.
When he finally reached me, I let out a low whine. There was something about this wolf that intrigued me. I had the urge to run with him but had no idea who this mystery wolf was.
Resting suspicions, I gave my wolf the okay to dominate us. We hopped about, wanting to play. His wolf relaxed as he reached us. We gave our backside, letting him know we weren’t intimidated.
He responded by swiping a soft paw to my rump. I twisted and swished my tail, teasing him, more than happy to continue our fun.
I didn’t think a moment longer; I took off. The gray and silver wolf gave chase. We weaved through the trees and tumbled through the foliage, yipping playfully.
Time held no meaning under the cover of night with the moon bathing us in its bright luminescence. Everything about this encounter felt soothing and natural. Not an ounce of hesitation lingered while with this incredible wolf.
I didn’t come back to my senses until a field inside our territory came into view. It confused me for a short minute. I’d rarely ventured this far out, not when it showed so much beauty. Then again, I’d never run with another wolf, either. It was a night of firsts.
I hesitated a minute too long, taking in the scenery. The wildflowers swayed in the mix of tall grasses. They were multi-colored with lavenders, whites, yellows, and many shades of blue. The area was stunning. In that moment, I thanked the Goddess for showing us such beauty.
My companion preyed on my momentary distraction and pounced. We tumbled through the fragrant field, nipping at one another. It was the most fun I’ve had, ever. I couldn’t believe I’d missed so much living.
We continued playing, enjoying the company of one another. My wolf was completely sated and in control. Everything felt so natural with this wolf, this stranger. Instead of analyzing it, my wolf nudged me forward. She insisted we stay here with our mystery wolf.
His scent, oh my Goddess, he smelled divine. The aroma was of fresh cut grass among something else I associated with sunshine and pure warmth. His distinct scent wasn’t even overpowered by the deluge of the floral mix surrounding us.
She rubbed our soft, white fur against his coat, depositing our own natural fragrance on him. My wolf wanted to declare him as ours. It wasn’t the time to question her, though. She was running on instinct, and I continued to let her.
In return, he pinned me and let out a soft rumble. That sound invoked new sensations that made me shiver in content. It didn’t escape notice that his scent was on me a
s well. My wolf was happy, and we preened with pleasure.
When we finally slowed, he nuzzled my neck. Dropping to the ground, I curled up to him, feeling relaxed and happy. This—this was what I’d been missing all this time. If this is what having a mate felt like, then I wanted one.
His soft rumble eased my wolf. Before I knew it, sleep crept in. The last word escaping my thoughts before my mind settled into darkness was mine.
I woke up radiating heat; smoldering was more like it. It took a few minutes as my mind pushed the fog from the thoughts surrounding last night. It all came back in a torrent of images. Was it still last night, or had we made it to morning already? Looking up at the sky, I realized it was daylight, and panicked. Goddess, I was fucked.
Joe was looking for me. Once he figured out I wasn’t in my room, he’d be on a rampage. I didn’t want him to hurt this wolf I’d grown attached to. The thought of separating from my gray wolf tore at my heart. This was a train wreck in the making. I had to get in front of our situation and with haste.
Pushing my muzzle into his flank and nudging him, I tried to wake the gray wolf. He finally stirred and peppered our face with soft licks. If time was on our side, I’d indulge in the simple but caring gesture.
Before my wolf and I could warn him, my senses went on high alert, but it was too late. Joe tore through the field and was on us in a flash. His wolf bore down on my companion, snapping his teeth.
I growled in response, feeling overprotective of the mystery wolf. Joe nudged me aside and continued his relentless, aggressive behavior. Geez, Joe was an enforcer, but this was a touch extreme.
Once Joe had me behind him, I howled in anguish. This was my fault. The gray wolf responded in kind, causing Joe to pause. It was enough time for me to surge forward and place myself between them.
I stood there, in a protective stance and growled at Joe. He would not hurt this wolf—the one that gave me the gift of a companion but allowed me complete freedom last night. Stunned, that word popped into my head again—mine.