by Nikki Ashton
As we pulled up at the end of the driveway, Sarah cuddled closer into me, which considering she’d had her arm wrapped around my bicep and been plastered to my side for the whole journey, was pretty difficult.
“I’d like to come in if that’s okay.” Mrs Danes glanced over her seat towards us.
“No, Mum.” Sarah unclipped her seatbelt and pulled away from me to lean forward to get closer to her mum. “You can’t just do that.”
“They’re expecting me.”
Sarah and I both inhaled sharply.
“I called them when you were both sleeping. I told your mother everything.”
“That wasn’t your place, Mum. That was up to Adam.”
Mrs Danes took a deep breath and turned to look out of the windscreen. “You are my daughter. You’re the only person I care about in this situation, so it was my place.”
I placed a hand on Sarah’s back and rubbed it gently.
“It’s okay. Someone had to tell her, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.”
Sarah glared at me over her shoulder. “No, Adam. She had no right.”
“She is your mother.” Mrs Danes shot back around to look at us. “Which gives me the right. Now you either stay here, or you come inside with me. It’s entirely up to you, Sarah.”
Sarah’s shoulder’s sagged and she reached for the door, pushing it open. Mrs Danes and I followed her out and then I took her hand to lead her up the driveway. I didn’t have time to pull my key out before the door was pulled open and we were faced with Roger, looking less than happy.
“You’d better come in,” he said directing his words to Mrs Danes.
I moved to push past him, but he placed a hand on my shoulder.
“You okay?”
I dropped my head and exhaled slowly. “Been better.” I didn’t have the energy to fight against him. I just wanted to get seeing my mum over with. Once I’d done that I could then decide how the hell Sarah and I were going to deal with things.
Roger gave me a reassuring pat and for once it was welcomed. I gave him a nod and then walked into the lounge where, just as I expected, I found my mum sitting in an armchair sobbing her eyes out and rocking while she clutched one of Roger’s hankies.
Fuck my life and fuck whoever decided the parents I’d got landed with.
“Mum?”
She looked up at me with red eyes and started a fresh bout of sobbing. “Adam, I can’t believe it.”
“Which part?” I asked as I took Sarah’s hand and led her to the sofa.
As we sat down my mum watched Mrs Danes, her eyes flicking between her and Roger who was hovering in the doorway.
“Can I get anyone a drink?” he asked.
Everyone declined and so he sat on the other end of the new huge sofa that had replaced the one which had been perfectly fine. I personally liked the idea of keeping the other as it was where Sarah and I first had sex, but someone else in Maddison Edge was now enjoying it after buying it for practically nothing.
“I suppose I should just get down to it,” Mrs Danes said. “Were you aware your ex-husband was now living as Joshua Mills and he was responsible for raping my daughter? In fact, did you know he was coming to live here?”
Mum drew in a breath and let it out with a ragged, “No.”
Seriously, she could have won best actress award. I knew this would be a shock to her, but the weeping and fucking wailing was too much.
“Is there any need.” I rolled my eyes and flopped back into the sofa, Sarah’s hand still tightly in mine.
“You have no idea what this had done to me,” Mum cried. “It’s devastated me.”
“Boo-fucking-hoo,” I muttered under my breath and earned a nudge in the ribs from Sarah’s elbow. “What?” I grumbled. “Everything is about her, all the time.”
“Adam.” Roger warned, his tone low.
“The point is,” Mrs Danes continued, ignoring our little family spat. “I need to know if you have anything that can help us to get rid of him.”
My body tensed and my stomach rolled. He’d only just got here. I hadn’t seen him in almost thirteen years. They couldn’t just make him go, could they?
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked quietly.
I nodded and gave her a quick smile. How the fuck could I tell her that I wanted the man who had ruined her life to hang around so that I could get to know him? More to the point, why the bloody hell did I want to?
“No,” Mum replied and buried her face into Roger’s hankie. “I haven’t seen him since he left us. I didn’t even know where he was.”
Roger cleared his throat leaned back into the sofa and crossed his legs at the ankle, attempting to look casual but looking anything but. Something was off, I could just sense it.
I turned my head towards Mum. “You knew where he was, didn’t you? All this time I wanted to find him; you knew.”
She shook her head vigorously, her long brunette waves swinging as if she had the lead in in one of those stupid shampoo adverts. “I had no idea, sweetheart, I swear.”
I could’ve asked her to swear on my little sister’s life; but I wouldn’t risk it. I bloody loved the little munchkin.
“You better not be lying to me, Mum.”
“I’m not, Adam. I’m not.”
She fucking was, she couldn’t look me in the eye, but I couldn’t prove anything. She would stick to her story until she dropped dead if necessary.
“You understand how awful this is for Sarah?” said Mrs Danes.
“We do, Helena,” Roger said, surprising me that they were on first name terms. “I, we, can’t tell you how sorry we are about it. We also have to consider Adam in all of this though.”
My head almost twisted off as I shot my gaze to my stepdad. “Me?”
“Yes, Adam, you. He’s your dad and you’re bound to be curious considering you haven’t seen him for so long. And your mum, well both of us, understand that. But I’m sorry, we are also concerned about you spending time with him.”
I pulled my hand from Sarah’s and leaned forward. “Why, he’s a rapist, not a paedophile?”
Sarah gasped and my mum burst out another sob, but I stared at Roger waiting for his reply.
“No one is saying that,” he replied steadily. “But—”
“He’s both,” Mrs Danes spat out. “Sarah was sixteen, she wasn’t an adult. He’s both as far as I’m concerned, and I want him away from her. If there’s nothing you can do or say to help us to force him to leave, maybe we will have to leave instead.” She shrugged and I knew she would do it to protect Sarah.
“Mum, no,” Sarah cried.
With my heart hammering I reached for Sarah’s hand. The thought that she might leave made me feel weird, like a slab of concrete lay on my chest and it was pushing down on me, making it difficult to breathe. She couldn’t leave, we were just getting started, but then I didn’t want my dad to go either. There was a tug-o-war going on in my heart and I had no clue who I wanted to fucking win.
“Maybe I could speak to him,” I spluttered out. “Maybe if I asked him to leave.” Sarah’s hand instantly felt sticky with sweat and I turned to look at her. The colour had drained from her face. “He might not even stay,” I continued, more to Sarah than anyone else. “If I don’t show any interest in talking to him, he’ll go, I’m sure he will.”
Sarah’s eyes told me that she knew I was conflicted. Sadness reflected off the tears pooled in them and her normally full lips were pulled into a thin line. I lifted my hand to push her hair from her face and she leaned into my touch.
“I would never tell you what to do, who to talk to, or who to believe, Adam.” Her voice was soft and the way she looked at me it was like we were alone, like our parents weren’t in the room. Her eyes were dark and soulful, and I could see she was fighting against pleading with me.
“I know,” I replied.
“But he’s manipulative and clever. He will say things that will make you feel at ease with him. He will tell you lies,
and then he will domineer you until you have no choices left.”
I drew in a sharp breath, because at that moment I wasn’t sure whether she was talking about me or my dad.
4
Sarah
Adam clutched my hand tight as we walked up the path into school. He’d insisted I call Alannah and tell her he was going to bring me in and that I wouldn’t need a lift. Obviously, it being Alannah she’d argued and wanted to know what the problem was.
“Why didn’t you call me after your appointment last week? And where the hell was Adam for the match? And Chanelle Dickson said she saw you and Adam in the car park, and you were crying. What the bloody hell did he do to you, Sarah?”
I’d closed my eyes and taken a deep breath. “I’ll tell you at school tomorrow, I promise, but Adam and I are fine.”
At least I thought we were, everything seemed fine, but how could the situation not have affected him, and us?
When he picked me up for school though, I’d been greeted with a gorgeous, long, sexy kiss, which almost made me suggest we bunk off. Then on the drive in he seemed almost back to normal, except we couldn’t be, not with his dad still being around.
“You okay?” he asked as he pulled me closer.
I looked up at him and smiled wide and hopefully believable. “I just don’t know what to tell Alannah.”
“It’s up to you. Tell her everything or we can come up with some story.”
His shoulders were stooped and there were dark rings under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping well, I knew because he’d been calling me at all times during the night, we’d been calling each other, just to chat. We were a team of two, working to get through it, and maybe it was strange, but it had brought us closer to each other. At least it seemed that way to me, I just hoped it did to Adam too.
“I think perhaps it would help to tell her, but it’s your story too, Adam.”
He pulled to a stop and pinched the bridge of his nose. I held my breath. I knew how much this was hurting him and I knew he was conflicted; it would be strange if he wasn’t. I was his girlfriend of just less than a month and Mr Mills was his dad, the man who he’d been desperate to find for the last thirteen years.
“I don’t know, Sarah.” He dropped his hand to his side and exhaled unsteadily. “I want you to do what’s best for you, but…”
I waited patiently for him to continue as kids pushed past us, one almost shoving me off the path into a tree, which surprisingly Adam didn’t respond to.
“I won’t tell her,” I finally said. “I’ll make something up. I don’t know, maybe I’ll say I had a shitty text message from a friend at my old school.”
Adam’s whole body relaxed.
“Yes,” I continued. “I’ll tell her that Harley my friend from my old school had posted some nasty comments about my dad.”
“Like what?”
I thought about what would have made me react in such a way. What could she have possibly posted to make me scream and sob like that?
“How about I say she posted a copy of the flyer that the boys made.”
Adam’s eyes darkened and his nostrils flared. “I could still fucking kill them for that.”
“Forget about it, it’s done.” I took a deep breath and then gave him a hopeful smile. “What do you think?”
Momentarily closing his eyes on a deep sigh, Adam nodded. “Harley,” he repeated. “Okay, let’s go with that. As long as you’re sure.”
I wasn’t, but this wasn’t just about me any longer. I nodded and stood on my tiptoe to kiss him.
I gasped when his hands went to my bum and he lifted me up, we were in the middle of the path, surrounded by people, but I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and took everything that he wanted to give to me in his kiss.
It was pain wrapped up in pleasure, and it was Adam Hudson begging me to understand him.
“Get a fucking room,” someone shouted.
Adam stopped kissing me and grinned against my lips. “I suppose they have a point.”
“Hmm, maybe.”
I moved to drop my feet to the floor, but Adam held on tight. “I don’t think you can move yet,” he groaned, dropping his forehead to mine. “These trackie bottoms don’t actually hide much when you’re half mast, never mind when you’ve got a full lob on.”
I started to giggle and held on tight to my backpack as Adam walked us into school and deposited me outside my locker. “Okay, I’ll see you later,” he said as he kissed my temple. “TJ’s after school?”
“Yeah, that’d be good. And try not to worry, okay?”
He gave me a sad smile and walked away to go find Mr Jameson before P.E.. I wished I knew what was going on inside his head.
“You’re back.”
Alannah’s voice surprised me as I continued to watch Adam.
“Oh, hiya. Yes, I’m back.” I flashed Alannah a smile and looked over her shoulder. “No Amber?”
“No, she’s got a dental appointment. I’m quite glad actually.” Alannah leaned closer and lowered her voice. “It’s so draining pretending to be as miserable as her all the time.”
I burst out laughing and it felt good. For all Adam and I had tried to be normal over the last few days, and as much as we’d talked and laughed, a dark shadow had still loomed over us both. At least Alannah’s behaviour was natural, maybe Adam was right in not wanting to tell her, this way I could be as normal as I could with her too.
“So come on,” she urged as we began to walk to our French class. “Tell me why you were crying in the car park.”
“Well, I’ve told you about my friend Harley from my old school, right…”
“What happened with Mr Jameson?” I asked Adam as we pulled into TJ’s car park.
“He already knew what happened, and he was sympathetic, but I still got dropped for a game.”
“What?” I cried. “That’s not fair. You were supporting me, not to mention the shock you’d had. That’s so wrong. I’m going to see him tomorrow and tell him.”
Adam started laughed and manoeuvred his car into a space. “Fucking hell, you’re even sexier when you’re mad and while I appreciate you sticking up for me, it’s not necessary. I’ll take the one game on the bench, it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Adam. He shouldn’t have done that.”
I folded my arms over my chest and pouted, only for Adam to capture my bottom lip between his teeth and to thread his hand through my hair. I let out a little whimper as my nipples hardened and a pulsing started between my legs.
“So, fucking sexy,” he said his voice quiet and controlled. “I think we need to find somewhere to go after we’ve eaten. I really need to have sex with you.”
I was wet and desperate for him and yet he’d barely touched me.
“Adam,” I groaned. “Let’s skip food.”
He pulled away; eyes dark. “Can’t sorry, I’m starved, and I promised Lori I’d take her a milkshake home.” He grinned. “Stop pouting like you’re five.”
“Ugh.”
He laughed loudly and it was the best sound I’d heard in days.
Once he’d rearranged himself and I’d stopped pouting, we walked into TJ’s with Adam behind me, wrapping his arms over my chest. He stopped occasionally, pulling me back so he could nibble at my ear and making me giggle and I wondered how long my carefree mood would last. Adam still hadn’t seen his dad since that day in the car park and he had to come out of hiding soon; my bet was his first stop would be his son. I had no idea what Adam thought about that because I hadn’t dared ask him. The answer he might give scared me to my core.
As we walked towards the football team’s table, I heard my name mentioned by someone. I turned to my right but the three girls and two boys in the booth just smiled at me and carried on eating their food. They seemed too innocent though and one of the girls definitely nudged one of the boys. Ignoring my instinct, I followed Adam to the table. As I sat down, Kirk moved up a place to leave a seat between us.
Adam gave him a chin lift. “Cheers.”
Things still seemed off between them, but at least they were talking. Flashing Adam, a smile, I unwound my scarf from around my neck, slipped off my pink Borg coat and picked up the menu.
“I suppose you all know exactly what you’re having.” I looked up at Adam, Tyler, Kirk and Ellis. “So, what should I have?”
They were a tight group of friends, or had been, and I was under no illusion that me being at their table was weird for them. Ellis didn’t seem to care one way or the other, but Tyler was watching me with an open mouth like I was Taylor Swift and I’d just popped into the café unannounced. I smiled at him hoping he edged closer to Ellis’ attitude towards me rather than Kirk’s. He twitched a smile back and then turned to look at Adam, who was watching me.
“Mum’s chilli burger is good,” Kirk said, gaining my attention. “It’s the only thing Dad can’t make.”
I nodded. “Okay, that’s what I’ll have.”
Adam’s eyes twinkled as his lips twitched into a smile and then turned to his friends. “Did Mr J tell you I got dropped for Wednesday’s match?”
“Yeah, fucking sucks, lad,” Tyler groaned, and glanced at me. “We could do with you as well. Dingley High are pretty good at the moment.”
Adam shrugged. “You’ll be okay. Dylan will step up, won’t you mate?”