by J. J. McAvoy
I didn’t answer, instead stepping down to stand beside him. “Let’s go home.”
He nodded without further pushing, which considering how he’d been acting before, was odd, but I didn’t want to ask.
A lot, and yet nothing at all had happened today.
It felt like I was pretty much on autopilot for the rest of the day. I couldn’t focus, my mind kept going back to that winter. That Christmas. If you looked at my hands now, you wouldn’t notice the scars from the frostbite, but I could still feel it. Whenever the weather became cold, my knees, hands, and toes always ached. Like the memory was still fresh…because it was.
Nothing happened today…but one day...one day soon, I’d close the chapter on that little broken girl in the snow and never look back. Until then, I had this family to face…
And now, five more days.
ETHAN
I sat back in my chair as I watched the security footage from inside the church. Though there was no sound, I understood well enough not to see more.
“Where are her sisters now?” I asked, looking up to one of the men she’d hired, though the slicked haired, broad-faced man seemed more interested in the interior design of my office.
“Italo took them back home. He gave them a little something to take the edge off. They’ll be all right…by the way, is this real?” he questioned, pointing to a painting of The Fall of Icarus that hung on the wall above the door across from my desk.
I didn’t answer, as I waited for him to turn back around.
“Of course, it would be real. How could it not be?” He snickered, putting his hands into his pockets as he finally focused his attention back on me. “Calli would have replaced it by now if it was a fake.”
My eyes narrowed at how he said her name.
“You have three options, Mrs. Callahan, boss, or ma’am.”
He pretended to think about it and nodded. “And for you?”
“Same address, different pronoun.”
“I’ll let the other boys know, sir,” he replied. “Anything else you need?”
“Yes. What grounds your loyalty?”
His eyebrow rose. “What?”
Rising from my chair, I walked over to the bar. “The people who work for us either need money, power, and protection, or they feel indebted to us for some reason. Which category do you all fit in?”
“None the above.”
“None the above?” I repeated.
“When the family you are born into is hell, you build a new one. Our loyalty is the same as yours to your siblings.”
I drank, watching him. I could tell he wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t being completely honest, either. Regardless, he stood unwavering in his answer.
“Mmh” was all I could say as I walked to my seat. “You may go.”
“Sir.” He nodded and took his leave.
Why is it whenever I try to get to know more of her, I end up with fewer answers and more questions? I snickered, looking up at Icarus. It was painted by Veronese. My mother had spent almost eighty million on it.
Just so it could hang here as a silent reminder that it was better to fly at night. I knew that. It made sense, yet somehow, I found myself flying at twilight.
20
“It hurts to let go, but sometimes
it hurts more to hold on.”
~Henry Rollins
DARCY
“Stay for a bit longer,” my mom nearly begged me as I tossed a pair of socks into my suitcase, only for her take it out.
“Mom,” I laughed, turning to her. “Seriously? Are we going to do this again? It feels like when I was going away to school all over.”
“There is no need to leave in the dead of night. Ethan’s plans can wait a few more days. I still don’t understand how he could possibly think you could just go and start your own gang overnight.”
“It’s not a gang…it’s a—”
“It’s an organized crime ring? Does the title really matter? Are you going to be in any less danger?” she snapped at me.
I sighed, looking to my father, laid back on my bed, beside my suitcase reading…none other than American Gangster. “A little help, please.”
“If you can’t even handle your mother, you definitely will get your ass handed to you out there,” he said, flipping the page.
“I do not need to be handled,” my mother said, taking my socks and tossing them at my father’s head. “Though I would like for you to please convince your son to think it through a little more before diving headfirst into the streets.”
Ripping the socks from her hand and throwing them to me, my father sighed, putting down his book and looking over at me. “You have a plan?”
“Yeah—”
“You have contacts?”
“Yeah.”
“Cash stored?”
“Yes.”
He looked back at my mother. “He’ll be all right.”
“I disagree,” she shot back.
“He’s not a child anymore, Cora. He’s made his choice. We should respect that,” he said, trying to adjust back down to enjoy his book.
“Thank you—”
“Helen’s an adult also, and yet you go around torturing Wyatt for their choice,” she shot back, and my father froze.
He cracked his jaw to the side. His eyes shifted back to her, but she crossed her arms.
“Mom,” I said, putting my hands on her shoulders. “Really, don’t worry. Even if you think so little of me that I can’t do this by myself, Ethan will surely keep tabs on everything.”
I said it jokingly…though I didn’t plan for Ethan to get involved. I wanted to do this. Ethan wasn’t rushing me to leave right this second, but my mind was already preoccupied with this change. It was time for me to break away.
“Ouch, Mom,” I hissed at how hard she had pinched me.
“I have immense faith in you,” she declared, putting her hands on my shoulders. “It’s just overshadowed by my immense desire to protect you.”
I smiled and reached over, hugging her. “Don’t worry. With all of you hovering over me, how can I stumble?”
“Which I find ridiculous,” my father interjected back to fake reading. “All this ceremony and protection. He’s not going to open a cupcake shop. He’s going to commit crimes. He needs to toughen up. Instead, you are babying him.”
My mother grabbed the pillow and threw it at his head. “Who asked you?”
I rolled my eyes. My father was right, but still, seeing him trying to be stern while my mother pelted him with anything she could get her hands on would be funny if it didn’t also seem as if they were flirting.
Ugh. I cringed. “Can you two take this outside of my room?”
“You’re leaving; you don’t have a room,” my father replied.
“He always has a room,” my mother argued back
“Okay!” I called out loudly, leaning over, I kissed my mother’s cheek. “I’ll see you on Friday for Calliope’s welcome party.”
She frowned, her shoulders dropping as she looked at me like I’d fade away and never return. “I’ll walk you out—”
“No, thank you.”
“Darcy.”
“Mom,” I snickered, “I got it. You’ve already done enough today. Thanks for the family dinner. But really, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”
She didn’t say anything else and just hugged me tightly, as tight as she possibly could before muttering, “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” I said, hugging her back; however, I shot a glance at my father.
He rolled his eyes, getting off the bed to stand beside her and pulling her back. “Go, then,” he said to me with a small nod.
“Going, old man,” I snickered, grabbing my socks and my bag from the bed.
Luckily, they let me get out the door in peace. However, because everyone in this family, except for Ethan, was so damn nosey, my sister, Wyatt, and Sedric were all in the hall waiting.
“Really?” I
sighed, looking at them all. “Haven’t we all seen enough of each other for one Sunday?”
“You didn’t think we’d just let you waltz out of here in the dead of night, did you?” Wyatt replied, hooking his arm around my neck, using me as his crutch. “What’s your gangster name going to be? You want me to help you think of one?”
“I don’t think that’s how it works, Mah Doc,” I muttered, trying to shrug him off, but for someone who was injured, he sure had a lot of strength left in him.
“What about the Shark?” He went on walking with me to the stairs as if he didn’t hear me. “Or Darcy ‘The Iceman’ Callahan?”
“Helen, can you get your boyfriend off me before I hurt him.”
“As if,” he scoffed, “she wants me to hold on tighter and convince you not to do this.”
I paused at the top of the stairs. My sister didn’t smile or hide the fact that she was upset. It pissed me off.
“You really are like Mom; neither of you thinks I can do this?”
“Darcy, it’s not that—”
“It’s either that or you are scared of the pain he’s going to go through.” We all turned to see Calliope coming up the left side of the stairs, holding her heels in one hand and glass of wine in the other time. Immediately, Wyatt let go of me, standing straighter, his smile dropping, his eyes focused in like an animal ready to defend…or strike.
She paused across from us, her gray eyes looking at us each one of their faces before falling to me. “They are scared for you. Because they know nothing worth having in this world, nothing that is great is born without pain. Today is probably your last carefree and good day for a very long time. Once you step out those doors, you will be in hell, and Ethan isn’t going to save you unless you are on your very last breath.”
“Then I’ll make sure never to get that point,” I replied, stepping forward.
“God, I hope so.” She glanced at Wyatt and said nothing else before turning to leave. “The rest of your family has been such a disappointment.”
“You…”
Helen grabbed Wyatt’s arm to stop him.
I watched her leave before shaking my head and looking back at them. “I think it might be safer out there than in here.”
“You might be right,” Wyatt muttered, frowning as he too watched her go for a second longer. Finally, he gave me back his attention, raising his fist to me. “If you need anything, just call.”
“I won't,” I said, tapping my fist against his. “But thank you for the offer.”
He nodded, stepping aside for me to go, but also to yell at the silent lurker behind me. “Are you going to say anything as our cousin leaves to untold dangers and horrors of the inner city?”
“Don’t die.” Sedric shrugged.
“You all are going to feel really stupid when I get back here on Friday, completely fine, after this goodbye,” I laughed, walking toward the door.
“Never,” Helen said, stepping in my way and hugging me just like our mother had. “We should always say hello, goodbye, and I love you to people we cherish because life is short. The world can change in the blink of an eye….so, bye, little bro, I love you.”
“Love you, too,” I said.
It was all I could say because she was right. Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed to anyone, especially people like us who risked it all for the power and wealth we currently have. But one thing was certain…
I wasn’t fucking dying.
And I wouldn’t fucking fail.
21
“I put a spell on you because
you’re mine.”
~Jay Hawkins
HELEN
I wasn’t sure if Friday had come too quickly or not soon enough. I hadn’t heard anything about Darcy since the night he had left the house. It wasn’t just radio silence; it was as if he had disappeared off the face off the earth. He hadn’t used any of his cards; the car he had taken to leave was parked in a garage in the city and left there. There were no calls, not even a text. No one had heard from him.
And when I asked Ethan, he simply looked at me with those dead of eyes of his and asked back, “Am I his keeper?” He was completely and utterly uninterested as if he did not send him out there to do his bidding.
For the first time ever, I wanted to smack him, I wanted to scream. But instead, I bit my tongue and found myself helping his wife with her stupid party.
“Where are my luminaries? Why are they not in and around the pool?” Calliope’s voice broke my attention.
I turned to see her in the center of the back garden dressed in an elegant, white, off-the-shoulder, fitted dress, with a slit up the thigh. Her dark brown hair was pulled over to one side with a diamond clip. On top of that, hanging off her shoulders, was a dark brown fur stole...because it was fucking November. Why she was dead set on having this party outside was beyond me. However, we’d spent only God knows how much making sure to have open heaters and fires set all around the garden to provide warmth. To her credit, the place looked like a winter wonderland. With strings of lights that covered the trees outside like a million lightning bugs. Little campfires were set all through the grounds with heated pillows and seats for the guests. She had thousands of roses, creating a backdrop for people to take photos in front of. On top of that, she had peacocks wandering the ground farther down and white swans in the pool. Why? Because she could. And nothing said rich like random exotic animals in places where they shouldn’t be.
“The swan keeper was worried that the flames would harm the swans, so we moved them farther back,” the decorator tried to explain to her.
Calliope looked at her as if she didn’t understand the language being spoken. It was actually awkward how long she just looked at her.
“Should…should we move them back?” the poor woman asked nervously.
Calliope gave one of her signature smiles, nodding. “That would be wise.”
“…and…the swan keeper?”
Again, she just looked at her.
“I will handle it myself,” she said quickly.
“Thank you,” Calliope replied and walked away from her toward me. She glanced around the guards, nodding to herself. “It’s nice, right?”
“Yes,” I muttered, not really in the mood.
“Really, I can’t tell from your face,” I shot back.
“I’ll work on it.”
“Good, today is my day. It needs to be perfect. So, I really don’t want you sulking and ruining it for me.”
That was it. Everyone had a limit, and I was fucking at it. I turned to her, breathing through my nose. “Maybe you didn’t realize—”
“Stop.” She held her finger out in front of me like a child before turning to face me, too. “You are approaching danger, Helen. I thought you were the wiser one. You don’t want me to treat you like I did Nari, do you?”
I opened my mouth. Then closed it. “Your garden is nice, Calliope. Sorry about my expression, I will be sure to make it perfect for you…happy.”
“It will do, but I could do without the obvious sarcasm.” I turned to leave. “You know what your real mistake is?”
I paused.
She didn’t look at me but up at her lights. “Your mistake is not using this time to get closer to me. I asked you to help me with today because I was hoping you’d wisely use me, too. However, once again, you are blind.”
“What are you talking about?”
She tore her gaze away from her lights and stepped closer. “Ethan might keep secrets from you, but I am different. I am his wife. I am Mrs. Callahan. Whatever happens to this family is my business and reasonability, too. So, I have to know everything about everyone.”
My eyes widen as I realized what she meant. “You know where Darcy is?”
She nodded. “And I would have told you, but instead, you chose to join Wyatt in doubting me, instead of bringing Wyatt in to support me…which is supporting Ethan, too.”
“I don’t control Wyatt…”
“If he f
ucks you, you control him,” she said and took another step closer. “If he loves you, you own him, which is why I need you to do fucking better. Especially if you want to take care of the people you love. Ethan will never open up to you at all. It’s just not his way. Which means you will always be in the dark with him. I, on the other hand, don’t mind sharing within limits, of course.”
I stared at her. “You’d really betray Ethan and tell me his plans?”
“Betray Ethan?” She chuckled, “How is it betrayal if Ethan never told me to keep it a secret?”
“Then tell me what’s happening with my brother?” I asked a little too eagerly.
“Why do I have to show my hand? When you’ve done nothing for me?” she asked, tilting to her head to the side.
I bit my lip in frustration. “I can’t just go up to Wyatt and tell him to trust you. He’ll know you said something.”
“Which is why you start slow. Whisper to his soul, distract him with sex, pray with him. I really don’t give a fuck. How about just work on him?” she all but commanded. “And yes, your brother is fine. He’ll be here soon. He won’t be able to tell you anything. So, don’t ask. Then he will disappear again.”
“What has he been—”
“That is my limit,” she interrupted. “Now, will you stop looking as if I’m holding you hostage?”
I gave her a brilliant smile.
“Good, now please go change into the maid of honor dress I sent to your room,” she said so quickly I almost missed it and tripped, following after her.
“What?” She glanced over at me.
“What better way to welcome the new Mrs. Callahan than with the renewing of our vows.”
I felt my mouth try to detach from my face. “Does Ethan know?”
“I’m going to let him know now…just like you are going to let Wyatt know.”
I really had no words.
This was… This was going to piss Donatella off.
ETHAN
I glanced at the blank note card she held up in front of my face as I tried to fix my necktie.