by Anne Patrick
Lord, as I'm reminded today of Your forgiveness for my sins, I pray You will give me the grace to forgive my mother. I've lived with the anger and bitterness far too long. Please change my heart so that I'm able to forgive her, and cleanse my spirit of the ill feelings I have toward her. In Your precious name, I pray. Amen.
When the service was over, Jamie walked out with Mallory and Stella. "I sure do hate that about Lucy," Stella commented on the way to the parking lot.
The pastor, while announcing prayer requests, had updated the congregation on her status. Although her condition had improved, she was still in ICU and couldn't receive visitors.
"Yeah, me, too," Jamie said, pausing at her Tahoe. "We had such a nice visit on Tuesday."
"I'd meant to ask you how it went."
"Much better than I expected. She reminded me of when Mom used to take me over to her house and Dwight and I played together. And I assured her that I didn't believe he was responsible for my dad's death. I think the visit helped both of us."
"I'm glad to hear that, sweetheart." Stella gave her a hug. "Are you sure you don't want to join us for lunch?"
"No, thank you. Another time. I still have some work to do before I'm ready to paint."
"Need any help," Mallory offered.
"Not until tomorrow."
"All right. I'll be there."
Late that afternoon, Jamie stood outside the door of the only room left besides her bedroom that still needed clearing out. She had avoided it up until now, knowing it would be the hardest to tackle. "Let's get this over with."
Jamie pushed open the door. The scent of her mother's Chanel perfume still permeated the room. Next to the unmade bed was a bedside table with a dozen or more pill bottles. On the floor next to it, sat a trashcan with three empty bourbon bottles. Jamie had carted off several she had found in the living room and kitchen upon her arrival.
Clothes and old newspapers were strewn about the room and bath, and the closet door stood open with more clothes on the floor just inside. By appearances, it looked like her mom had spent the last weeks of her life in here. Alone.
"No. You're not going to make me feel guilty, Mom. You abandoned me. Remember?"
Jamie took one of the trash bags dangling from her back pocket and started throwing clothes into it. Six bags later, the closet was empty of clothes and shoes, many of them designer brands. "Well, at least I know where some of the money went."
The five bags with clean clothes Jamie placed separately and tied a ribbon to them. She would ask Stella if there was somewhere locally Jamie could donate them.
Moving to the dresser, she spotted a small tan Bible lying on top. Jamie immediately recognized it as the one her father had given her at the end of confirmation class and baptism when she was eleven. Jamie thought she had lost it in the move to California. She read the inscription. 'No matter what you do in life, Jamie, I hope you'll always stay close to the Lord. And know that I will always be proud of you. Love, Dad.' Tears formed at the declaration.
"Well, at least you weren't cold blooded enough to throw this out." She stuck it in the waistband of her jeans then grabbed two of the bags she planned to donate and went downstairs.
***
As soon as his shift was over, Gage ordered a burger to go from Deb's. He then swung by his apartment and changed out of his uniform and took his spare .380 and ammo from his gun safe. It was almost seven when he got to Jamie's house.
She answered the door while towel drying her hair. "Sorry, time got away from me. Have you eaten? I can order a pizza."
"Nope. I'm good." He came in and shut the door. Boxes were piled all along the hall and well into the living room. "You've been busy."
"Yes, I have. And once I carry these out to the trash bin, I'll be done cleaning."
"Why don't I do that while you get together some cans for target practice?"
"Okay. Oh, don't take the stack by the sofa. I'm keeping those boxes."
"All right. Hey, do you have cable?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"There's a movie coming on at nine on channel seven I want to watch."
"Sounds good, and I can make popcorn."
Gage made several trips. By the time he was done, the dumpster was overflowing.
Jamie joined him. "I'll have to call Mr. Miller in the morning and have him bring me another bin."
Gage wiped the sweat from his brow. "I thought you said you were done."
"I'm done cleaning. I still have the boxes in the attic and basement that are to be thrown away."
"Remind me before I leave, and I'll bring the ones down from the attic."
"Thank you."
Gage slid his arms around her. "My pleasure." Then kissed her.
A few seconds later, Jamie stepped back but still held his hand. "You realize I have to leave in September. Right? I'm under contract so I don't really have a choice."
He squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "Let's just take this one day at a time, okay?"
"I can do that." She tugged at him. "The shooting range is ready whenever you are."
Gage went to his truck and got the gun and ammo from his glove box and met Jamie down by the barn. There were over a dozen aluminum cans lined up along the top of the wooden fence.
"Are you familiar with the .380?"
"Yep."
"You don't need a refresher course?"
"Nope." She held her hand out palm up.
"All right. There's one in the chamber and six in the magazine." He handed her the pistol, stood back, and folded his arms.
Jamie pointed the gun toward the fence, flipped off the safety, aimed using both hands, and fired seven shots consecutively. She only hit two of the cans. "Okay, so I'm a little rusty. It has been three years."
"That really isn't too bad. Try again." He handed her a full clip.
Jamie ejected the empty clip and tossed it to him, popped in the full one and pulled the slide back. This time, she took more time between shots and managed to hit five out of six cans.
"Very impressive."
She tossed him a smug smile as she handed him the pistol. "Told you I could shoot."
"I should know better than to doubt you." He exchanged the empty clip with the one he had filled, took his stance and shot five times, each hitting their target.
"Show off," Jamie said before walking away.
He laughed. Then after gathering his ammo and spare clip, he joined her in the kitchen. "There's one in the chamber, and I'm putting in a full clip. Hopefully, you won't need it, but this way I'll feel better knowing you have it."
"Me, too. Thanks for bringing it." She took the gun, made sure the safety was on and laid it on the counter. "I'm also having a security alarm installed Tuesday."
"Good decision. It'll increase your property value, too."
"I know, and my insurance premium will go down." She smiled at him. "Go on in and make yourself comfortable while I make the popcorn."
Gage was about to settle on the couch when he saw a small Bible lying on top of one of the boxes she had packed. He picked it up and began to thumb through it. Several of the passages were highlighted.
Jamie came into the room, he glanced up and she smiled. "Dad gave me that after confirmation class." She handed him a glass of tea and set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. She then turned on the television. "What channel is your movie on?"
"Seven." Gage went to put the Bible back and a piece of paper fell out. He picked it up and started to put it back, then stopped. It was a note from her mother. Jamie, I know you hate me, baby, and I don't blame you. I just pray that someday you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. Love Mom. It was dated the same month she died. "Jamie, did you see this?"
"What?" She glanced over her shoulder at him.
"It's a note—from your mom. She wrote it just before her death."
"Let me see that."
He handed it to Jamie and waited for her to read it. She gave no reaction as she handed it back. "You did
n't know it was in the Bible?"
She shook her head. "What does she want forgiveness for? Abandoning me? Never being there for me? Or hiring someone to kill my dad and me?"
"Jamie, I don't blame you for being angry at your mom, but sooner or later you're gonna have to let it go. Even if it turns out that she hired that guy to murder your dad."
"I know. I'm working on it."
Jamie headed back to the kitchen and Gage settled on the sofa. He hoped the note wasn't going to ruin their evening.
***
Jamie took a few minutes for her anger to dissipate. The woman had some nerve leaving the note in the Bible Jamie's father had given her. If she wanted forgiveness so bad, why didn't she reach out to me? Why not pick up the phone sometime, or better yet, fly to California and say she was sorry in person?
Jamie drew in a long breath and exhaled. I'm not going to let this get to me.
"You okay, babe?" Gage asked from the entryway.
She smiled at the endearment. Jamie loved how just his presence could make everything seem all right. "Yeah. I'm coming." She picked up her glass of tea and followed him into the living room. A familiar film score played on the TV. Jamie glanced over. Sure enough, it was from one of her earlier movies. "Oh, no, uh-uh. No way."
"Oh, come on, Jamie." Gage pulled her with him to the sofa.
She continued to shake her head as she set her tea on the coffee table. "I don't like to watch my movies. The only time I do is at premieres."
"Why? You're a great actress."
"Thank you, but when I watch my own movies, I start to critique myself, wishing I had done something differently, and it drives me crazy."
"Well, this is one I haven't seen, and since you don't have a DVR…" He tilted his head sideways and pouted.
Jamie tried to recall if this one was R-rated. It was, but there was no nudity. "Fine. We'll watch the stupid movie." Jamie sank onto the sofa next to him and he slid his arm around her.
In this particular film, she played a reporter who eventually falls in love with her cameraman while on assignment overseas. While it wasn't a blockbuster, the movie did get a lot of favor from the critics and helped to boost her resume. She also got a free trip to Paris.
In one of the kissing scenes, Gage glanced over and asked, "So how many guys have you kissed?"
"That's another reason why I didn't want to watch. Can we please not do this?"
He started laughing and Jamie realized he was just teasing her. She should've known he was secure enough to not let her onscreen kissing bother him. "Oh, and just in case you were wondering, in the four movies I've done with bedroom scenes, I had a body double."
"What?" He withdrew his arm from her shoulder and leaned away from her.
"That better not be disappointment I hear in your voice."
He laughed again. "I'm only kidding." He gave her hand an assuring squeeze. "It must be hard being a Christian in the entertainment business."
“I’ve struggled with my conscience many times during my career. Even with my 'no-intimacy' and 'no nudity' clause, I’ve made movies I’m not very proud of. Before I left my former studio, I didn’t have much say in the films I made, because I was under contract with them to make so many in a certain amount of time. Now, however, I’m in control of which roles I play, and I’m not going to choose one that conflicts with what Christ is all about.”
"So, you only do Christian films now?"
"No, I'm not going to limit myself like that. There are a lot of good movies made that are inspirational and wholesome fun that aren't faith based. If I read a script I really like, but there are a couple of scenes that bother me, I’ll let the casting director know my feelings. Sometimes they’ll make the changes. Other times, they tell me to take a walk. Which is fine with me. No film is worth giving up my relationship with God."
After the movie, Jamie helped Gage bring down the dozen boxes and two trunks from the attic to the upstairs hallway. By the time they were done, it was almost midnight. "We should've waited until later in the week to do this. You've gotta work in the morning, don't you?"
"That's okay. You want me to leave them here, or take them down stairs?"
"No, here is fine. I'll go through them tomorrow."
"I don't think so. I didn't just cart these down here so you could hunt for treasure on your own."
"Gage, it's almost midnight."
"I don't care." He started with one of the trunks.
Jamie shrugged and moved to one of the stacks of boxes. All she found were old Sunday school and Bible School material, more holiday decorations, and some of her father's old magazines and law journals. Anything that looked like it could hold money, she searched or thumbed through, being careful of any creepy crawly things roaming about. Thankfully, what spiders she did see were only skeletal remains.
"You should keep this, Jamie."
"What is it?" She moved to another stack of boxes.
"It's your dad's old train set. Remember when he had it set up in the basement and he would let us run it?"
Jamie turned and looked. Gage sat cross-legged in front of one of the trunks and he had several of the pieces set up on the floor around him. She recalled how much he loved playing with it when they were kids. "Why don't you take it?"
"What? No, I couldn't. I mean, it was your dad's."
She could easily envision Gage and his own children playing with it someday. "Please, I want you to have it."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. What's in the other trunk?"
"More of the train set. You having any luck."
Jamie shook her head. "Just junk."
"Let's check the other boxes."
Three contained old china Jamie had never seen before. The others didn't contain anything useful. Tired and disappointed, Jamie leaned against the wall. "I was really hoping we'd find some of the money."
"I know." Gage came over and took her in his arms. "Maybe she just blew it all."
"On what? I haven't found any souvenirs from any extravagant trips. I doubt she even had a passport. She had some designer clothes, but not seven hundred thousand dollars worth."
"She could've given some of it away. You know, to friends or co-workers. There are a lot of possibilities."
"Including hiring a hit man."
"Even if that were the case, I can't see her paying him that much money over the years. Unless—"
"Unless what?"
"He was blackmailing her."
"Wouldn't that be awfully risky? I mean, she was a court clerk, for heaven's sake. She knew cops and judges . . . oooh. I see what you're getting at. She would have just as much to lose, if not more if she told anyone the truth."
"Exactly. Your mom would be just as guilty of murder as he is. If he got the death penalty, so would she."
"It's kind of ironic, isn't it? She has my dad, and almost me, killed for the money, and ends up being blackmailed and never gets to spend it."
"If that is in deed the case, yes, it would be. We won't know for sure until we catch the guy."
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Gage yawned then took another sip from his coffee mug. A burglary at one of Jackson Ridge's convenience stores on the edge of the city had kept him busy since he went on duty at six. The culprits had smashed the front window, grabbed several cartons of cigarettes and beer, and managed to get away before any of the officers on duty arrived. The store has surveillance cameras, but just for show, and the only good the alarm system did was rile the dogs in the area. Alex was talking to the neighbors scattered along the highway. Hopefully, one of them would offer something useful.
This was the second break-in of a business in three months. The other occurred at an automotive store on Main Street. Gage suspected kids pulled this one off, though. One of the other officers on duty last night had caught wind of an under-age drinking party taking place out near Black Lake.
The store's manager, Patsy, came out. "How much longer are you going to be? I need
to open. Mr. Denny is going nuts."
Jack Denny, a hometown boy, had bought out the previous owner after Jack sold his father's arcade business in town a few years back.
"Well, you tell Jack if he wasn't so stingy and had live video equipment, this probably wouldn't have happened."
Patsy giggled. "I'll let you tell him that."
"I'll have things wrapped up here in the next half hour."
Gage followed her back inside. Suspecting the culprits had used a large rock or brick to bust the window, he searched the three aisles facing the counter. Because of all the foot traffic the business received on any given day, Gage had only dusted for fingerprints around the point of entry, and his efforts weren't productive. Whoever did this either wore gloves or was careful not to touch the surfaces while climbing through the window.
Alex joined him a few minutes later. "One of the neighbors said he heard someone burning rubber after the store's alarm woke him up, but by the time he got out of bed and looked out the window, all he saw were tail lights. Wasn't sure if they belonged to a truck or car."
"Okay. Ask around town and see if you can find someone who was at that party last night. Maybe they'll remember who made the last beer run." Gage doubted anyone would admit to being there, but it never hurt to ask.
Gage struck out in his search. He found Patsy talking on the phone and waited for her to hang up. "Tell Jack he can pick up a copy of my report this afternoon, along with photos of the damage for his insurance."
"I'll tell him. Thanks."
Gage checked in with dispatch then finished the last of his coffee. He'd be glad when this day was over. He recalled the sadness reflected in Jamie's eyes last night after they failed to find any of her mother's missing money. If it turned out that Rita Riedel had contracted her husband's murder, Jamie was liable to never forgive her. Despite his pep talk to Jamie, he understood her anger probably better than anyone else. She had been betrayed, on some level, just like him. The person they loved had broken their trust and basically deserted them. Only in her case, the betrayal went several steps further by causing her physical injury and robbing Jamie of her father. Bitterness, just like forgiveness, was a hard pill to swallow. Jamie had a lot to be bitter about and a lot to forgive. But with time and the grace of God, Gage knew it was possible.