by London Casey
“Very funny,” she said.
“How’s the head?”
“Not as bad as my lungs,” Miranda said. “I remember why I quit smoking.”
“So it wasn’t my fault?”
“Really? You want to get into it?”
“You said some nasty things to me.”
“I was drunk,” she said.
“How much of it was true?”
She went silent.
I nodded.
“Why didn’t you come up here?” Miranda asked.
“What?”
“You didn’t come up here.”
“I thought we settled this…”
“No. We didn’t. You should have dropped everything and came with me. And after last night? You heard me. You could tell I was drunk and in pain. And you did nothing.”
“Did you call to apologize or pick another fight?” I asked.
“I called for the truth.”
“The truth?” I stood up. “Okay, Miranda. The truth… I have no idea what we’re doing here anymore. You’re not going to demand that I quit my job and move. I’m not leaving the city. I don’t care what job you get. If Boston is your place, then just stay. Find your dream job and your happiness there.”
“Which means… that’s it?” she asked.
“What do you want me to say? This isn’t working. I’m the only one who gave half a damn about the wedding. I thought we were both getting married. Instead, I’m the one getting married. It feels open ended if you ask me.”
“Wow,” Miranda said. “You knew I was going to be busy.”
“So then call it what it is,” I said. “We’re two different people now.”
“Then I’ll just drop the ring in an envelope, Liam,” Miranda said. “Which is what I was going to do anyway.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course. What is this? You just want to sit there, settle and hang out with Jackson and your other loser friends. I’m living my life. I’m getting somewhere. You’re not going to hold me back.”
“Trust me, babe, I’m not holding you at all,” I said.
I heard a groan in my head at how mean that sounded.
Miranda laughed. “I should have told you everything when I was drunk. Of how many times I’ve woken up in our apartment and felt like a stranger. And how many times you’ve felt like a stranger to me. Or the fact that you’re okay with planning our wedding with someone else. I just wanted to see what would happen. That was your moment to say no and do something bigger…”
“You know what, Miranda? Maybe instead of being manipulative all the time and setting up these scenarios in real life that play through your head… just talk. You have no problem with that. Unless it’s something serious.”
“Well, fuck you then,” she said. “I’m staying in Boston. Your ring is on its way. I hope you enjoy being alone. Because today? I’m going to take a shower, eat something, and go live my life. And the best part? Now I don’t have to worry about you. I can do whatever the hell I want.”
“Good luck with that, Miranda.”
“I guess we both dodged a bullet then,” she said. “We would have just ended up as those people who get married for a month.”
“You think I’d spend a month married to you?” I asked, throwing another nasty comment her way.
She laughed again.
She fed off it.
I knew that though but I couldn’t help myself.
“Sit by the mailbox, Liam,” she said.
“For a ring? I don’t even care about it. Why don’t you pawn it and use that for an apartment?”
“With this ring? Please. What you paid for this couldn’t get me a decent meal.”
Miranda hung up.
I stood there, sort of numb, staring out the window.
My engagement - and relationship - just came to an end.
I hadn’t sat down yet.
I paced the office, talking to myself, talking to Jacob as I made him take notes on another case.
My goal was to keep my mind focused on work.
When I saw David, I made him make copies of projects I didn’t need copies for.
For Marie, I had her go through some depositions and come up with a new strategy.
It had been a couple hours since Miranda’s phone call.
I checked my phone a dozen times.
The thirteenth time, there was a text message from Miranda.
Ring is on its way. Thanks for nothing. Asshole.
That’s when I left the office.
I told Jacob to find something else to do and that was it for me.
I went to a bar and took care of my emotions the best way possible.
With whiskey.
I wasn’t sure what I cared about anymore or not.
Miranda. Emily. The ring. The wedding.
What actually mattered.
I paid my tab and when I stepped outside, I realized how late it was.
How long I had been sitting at that bar.
Hours had gone by.
Hours.
I told myself to go talk to Jackson.
He and Callie were probably fucking each other’s brains out.
I laughed out loud with nobody around me.
Drunk.
If I barged in on his apartment, he wouldn’t be the only person not fucking the woman they love…
After all those hours and all that whiskey…
I still couldn’t stop thinking about Emily.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Emily
I hugged the guitar with my right arm and took a selfie with it.
The first person I sent the picture to was Liam.
Then I sent it to a group text with Carla and Faye.
The original group text included Robin, but she got pissed when we would text all night and she just wanted to sleep because she had been feeling ill due to the pregnancy.
Faye replied with an excited face emoji.
Carla was a little more subtle.
Her text read FUCK YEAH!
Liam didn’t reply to me.
In fact… I hadn’t heard from Liam in almost two days.
Which was odd.
Part of it was probably my fault. I was so caught up in talking to Carla and Faye. Picking out songs. Getting to know each other. Both of them showed up to the bakery today and insisted I buy a guitar. Of course, they recruited both Lucy and Ember, and the four of them made it impossible for me not to go buy a guitar.
Not that I had the money or anything, but that’s what credit cards were for.
The second I touched the guitar, I smiled. I was happy.
I wished Liam would have been there with me too.
This whole thing was happening because of him.
I put my phone down and tuned the guitar again.
My fingertips twitched as the muscle memory of chords came back to me in a hurry.
I actually shocked myself by what I remembered.
And that it sounded pretty decent.
Another text came through.
Faye.
Record playing something! Right now!
Carla added a handful of thumbs up emojis.
There was something about it… about them… them also included Liam…
I started to feel fearless.
Play a guitar and sing? Record it? Send it to someone to hear? Screw. That. Noise.
That was my initial thought.
Anytime that happened, I just pictured Liam on that stage, singing - or attempting to sing – without a care about those who heard him.
That was all I needed.
So I recorded myself playing.
Strumming the guitar loosely. Singing for fun.
It wasn’t perfect but it was something.
I texted it to Carla and Faye and waited for them to respond.
Beautiful!
From Faye.
Fucking EPIC!
From Carla.
Still nothing from Liam.
I put the guitar down
and sent him another text.
Hey. Don’t be a stranger. Everything okay?
I chewed on the bottom right corner of my lip. Knowing who I was texting, why I was really texting him, and what could possibly happen if things were to explode. In a way there was way too much at stake by texting Liam with what I felt going through me.
Call it crazy, but with the guitar next to me, I felt empowered.
Maybe I should have gotten one a long time ago.
I could have taken it on first dates.
Or first times in the bedroom.
Don’t mind my guitar… but, hey, see this string? That’s the G string on the guitar. Just pluck it once and you can go brag to your friends you found the G-spot!
I laughed to myself.
Liam finally texted me back.
Sorry, Em. Just busy with work. We’ll talk soon. I promise.
It was a reply, which was better than the nothing I had been getting.
But I wasn’t sure I believed Liam’s text at all.
I walked into the bakery with my guitar in its case across my back.
When Ember saw me, she looked at the clock, then back at me.
“I’m really late, I know,” I said.
“And you have a guitar,” she said.
“Yeah. I love it.”
“Are you playing a show here?”
“Nope. Just wanted to bring it along.”
“Badass,” Ember said. “Look at you.”
“Hey, tell me when Emily is here because-”
Lucy froze as she rushed into the back of the bakery.
“Emily is here,” I said.
“With a guitar,” Ember added.
“A guitar?” Lucy asked. “You look like some… I don’t know… like a small-town girl about to sing for a record contract. You know, like in a movie…”
“Oh, those girls usually end up with a hot cowboy, country singer too,” Ember said.
“I’ll tell you one thing,” Lucy said, pointing at me. “I wouldn’t mind seeing Liam in some assless chaps.”
I shook my head. “I’m not responding to that.”
“Well, that’s all the good and funny I have for the moment. You have company, Emily.”
“Is it Liam?” Ember asked.
“No,” Lucy said. “It’s that realtor guy who wants to bang her.”
I cringed.
Hearing someone Lucy’s age say things like bang her always sounded weird.
“Jeff is here?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Lucy said. “And he’s not alone.”
“Meaning what?”
“Your sister is here too. And another guy. I’m assuming it’s her husband?”
“Fuck,” I whispered.
“Hey,” Ember said. “Want me to slip a little laxative in something for them?”
“You’re not poisoning my sister,” I said. “I do like her.”
“It’s not poisoning,” Ember said. “They’ll just be glued to a toilet for a little while.”
She looked way too eager to do something like that.
I snapped my fingers and pointed to her. “No poop poison, Ember.”
“Fine,” she said.
As I walked to the front of the bakery, Lucy pointed to the guitar.
“You’re keeping that strapped on?”
“Yes,” I said. “I love my guitar.”
“Who the hell are you becoming, Emily?” Lucy whispered. “I kind of like it.”
She bumped her shoulder into me.
I laughed.
Then I saw Elise, Dan, and Jeff.
I wished Liam was with me.
So he could knock Jeff out.
“What the hell is that?” Elise asked.
“A guitar.”
“You play guitar?” Dan asked.
“You know I play guitar, Dan,” I said.
“I think it’s awesome,” Jeff said. He leaned toward me. “Hey, maybe you can play a show… you know where…”
He winked.
Heat rushed to my cheeks.
What was he going to do? Play up the fact that he saw Liam and I together? Which wasn’t that big of a deal at all.
I felt the left side of my lip curling.
“What is this?” I asked.
“I said I would be here,” Elise said. “To tame your bitchiness.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“I’ve got something to show you,” Jeff said.
Next thing I knew, a leather folder was opened and he was an inch from me.
His cologne tickled my nose.
It was like someone mixed skunk and cat piss, then sold it for two hundred bucks a bottle. All because some shirtless dude rode a horse in a TV commercial, up to a mansion, then fucked some model that hadn’t eaten a meal in six weeks.
“I found the perfect spot for your bakery,” Jeff said. “Great foot traffic. Great location. There’s parking. There’s…” He looked at me. “I’m doing too much again, aren’t I?”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“She doesn’t want this,” Jeff said. He closed the folder. “Dan, this is dumb.”
“Emily,” Elise said.
“What?”
“Just listen to him.”
“What did I do?”
“Your demeanor,” she said. “He found a spot for the bakery. You can get out of here.”
“I can’t break this lease,” I said.
“Why?” Elise asked. “Because of Miranda? Screw her.”
“We can help with that part,” Dan said. “There are ways.”
“I’m willing to take on the building,” Jeff said. “Personally. If I do that, I break the lease. Then you move.”
It was too good to be true because the fine print of this little deal was I had to sleep with Jeff. Or date Jeff. Or entertain the idea of being with Jeff. And with him hanging saving me over my head, I would never escape that relationship.
And all Elise wanted was for me to fall in love, get married, and have kids.
We grew up taking care of each other and this was the first time we were on different paths. She wanted me to have the same life as hers. But I wasn’t there yet.
“I told you she would hate it,” Jeff said.
“I didn’t say that,” I said.
“See?” Elise said. “Let me talk to her a little.”
“Sorry, Emily,” Jeff said. He smiled.
It was so fake.
I could read his eyes.
Piece of garbage…
“Come on, I’ll buy you a drink,” Dan said.
“It’s morning,” Jeff said.
“We’re in the city,” Dan said. “Someone is serving booze somewhere.”
“Don’t you dare come home day drunk,” Elise said.
“Emily, can I crash on your couch later?” Dan asked.
“Me too?” Jeff asked.
Jeff made the funny joke with my brother-in-law, creepy.
When they left the bakery, I looked at Elise.
“A guitar?” she asked like a judgmental mother.
“What?”
“When was the last time you played guitar?”
“Are you really turning into a judgmental bitch, Elise?”
“I’m trying to help you.”
“I didn’t ask for your help.”
“I’m watching my sister struggle and it fucking sucks,” she said. Her eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t stop you from getting involved with this place. But maybe I can get you out.”
“And pawn my ass off to a guy like Jeff? No.”
“Then who? Who, Emily? I just…”
“You just, what? This is where you tell me what you want.”
Elise touched the corners of her eyes. “I thought you’d at least show some excitement.”
I had no idea what to say.
She wanted to dive deep into this… she wanted to talk about family, feelings, and the future. And I understood why. Our family was all about drama and arguments.
> Not that I was much better…
Hey, sister, guess what? Remember Liam? Yeah, he’s the one engaged to Miranda. Well… I’m falling for him. Again.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said. “I’m trying to figure it out myself, Elise. There’s so much happening. I want to tell you…”
My phone buzzed with a text message.
I instinctively grabbed my phone to look.
Because my happy world wasn’t the bakery or my sister.
I thought it was Carla and Faye.
But it was Liam.
I grabbed for the table to balance myself as I read his text message.
He and Miranda broke up.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Liam
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be upset or if I should celebrate.
The first thing I had done was get drunk and end up at Jackson’s. I sounded like a drunk fool, stumbling around his apartment, telling him I couldn’t marry Miranda. That was music to his ears (of course). Then I explained why I couldn’t marry Miranda. Which was some dumb poetic statement of how we broke up over the phone.
For the first time in my life, Jackson offered me water instead of more booze.
Callie joined the conversation at one point, telling me no matter how anyone felt, she was sorry to hear the news.
Jackson smacked her on the ass and she smacked him across the face.
They were great together.
I wanted something like that.
And definitely not with Miranda.
I knew the look in Jackson’s eyes. He would have rather been with Callie in bed than with me in the kitchen.
So I bounced from his place and hid in my place for a while.
Thinking.
Wondering what was next.
Fighting the urge to just show up at Emily’s apartment and have my way with her.
Me hiding was the best thing for everyone.
But I couldn’t hide forever.
I couldn’t ignore Emily forever.
At some point, I had to just follow my heart.
When Emily opened her apartment door, all I thought about was kissing her.
My hands sliding along her face, my lips closing in on hers. Gently kissing her… so fucking slow that chills would dance down her body to the tip of her toes. But then I’d kiss her in a different way, sending those same chills right to her-