by L A Cotton
Mom had spent years drilling it into me; telling me that guys like him couldn’t be trusted. Athletes. Jocks. Guys who were more focused on their careers than girls. But it was all a lie. Because we’d moved to Rixon and she’d managed to sniff out Kent Ford. Local football hero and legend in the making, if it hadn’t been for his career-ending accident.
God, I was so naive.
All this time, I’d hated on Jason when Mom hadn’t only betrayed him, she’d betrayed me too.
“Hailee,” her voice pulled me from my thoughts. “I’m coming in, baby.” She appeared around the door, giving me a concerned smile. “You’ve been up here hours; you missed dinner.”
“I don’t feel like eating right now.”
“Did something happen… with Jason?” Her lips pursed as if it was a forgone conclusion. “He’s acting more grouchy than usual.”
Of course she’d assume it was him. Because for years she’d stood on the sidelines as we duked it out, and never once had she tried to fix the mess.
The mess she’d created.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” The words spilled out.
“Tell you?” she said, perching on the edge of my bed. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“How did you meet Kent, Mom?”
Her expression faltered but she quickly recovered. “You know this story, baby. We moved to Rixon and Kent was good enough to help me out with a flat tire and the rest as they say is history.”
“I know.”
“Know?” She inclined her head. “Hailee, I’m not sure—”
“Jason told me.” She inhaled sharply, the noise puncturing the air, and my heart. But she didn’t say anything. Didn’t try to tell me I was wrong, that she had no idea what I was referring to. “You knew, he knew?”
I’d heard Jason tell Cameron he didn’t think his dad knew so I’d assumed she was just as clueless.
“I suspected he knew something, yes.” Mom lowered her eyes, but I saw the regret there, the shame coloring her cheeks.
“So, it is true? You had an affair?”
“Baby.” She reached for me, but I snatched my hand back. “Matters of the heart are never that straightforward.” Mom gave a little sigh.
“Matters of the heart?” I laughed bitterly. “You broke up their marriage, Mom. You ruined Jason’s—”
“It’s not that simple.” Panic rose in her voice now. “Kent and Maryanne were having issues, he was lonely—”
“So, you thought you’d what? Offer a shoulder to cry on? A warm bed at night. Somewhere for him to escape his shitty marriage?”
“Hailee Raine,” she scolded, her expression hardening. “I know you’re upset, but I am still your mother.”
Which was kind of the point. Adults were supposed to set examples, to be the ones scolding their kids for making mistakes. Not the other way around.
“You lied,” I said. “All these years, you lied. I spent years in awe of your strength, Mom. You raised me alone, never asked dad for anything. I admired you for not taking the easy route, for not settling for just any old guy.” And there had been quite a few along the way. “And I had to find out from Jason it was all a lie.”
“Hailee, please, let me explain...” Tears rolled down her cheeks, but I wouldn’t comfort her.
I couldn’t.
“You raised me in your image, Mom. You made me believe in self-worth, in never settling for anything less than I deserve. But you also hardened me. All those stories warning me about guys like Dad, it messed with my head. And then you moved me to a town where football is more important than anything, and shacked up with a local football legend, no less. And I never complained. Not once. Because I was happy for you. Because it was your time to enjoy life, to be happy. And now I find out it’s all a lie. That you went after Kent knowing he had a wife and a family.
“Get out,” I said coolly.
“Hailee, now just wait a minute—”
“I said get out. I can’t even look at you right now.”
“Hailee Raine.” She blanched.
“Get out,” I yelled. “GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT.” The words tore from my throat like an ugly explosion. Mom sobbed into her hands, fleeing from my room. I hadn’t meant to lose my cool, but I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t sit here and listen to her empty excuses.
She’d lied.
Day after day, she’d looked me in the eye and kept this dirty unforgiveable secret from me. I’d spent almost six years living with Jason, tolerating his bullshit, for her. Because she was happy. Because she deserved a man who treated her the way she deserved to be treated.
Grabbing the nearest pillow, I stuffed it against my face, screaming with frustration. I’d grown up without a father, but I’d never felt like I missed out. Mom was my mom and dad all rolled into one. She’d held me when I hurt, cried with me at sad movies, helped me with science projects, and homework. Where my dad had been absent for every milestone, Mom had been there. One-hundred and ten percent. They were the complete opposite of one another.
But in the end, it turned out they had one thing in common.
They’d both betrayed me in the worst possible way.
Sometime later, I woke up to the sound of raised voices. Disoriented, I sat up, rubbing my dry, sore eyes. I’d cried so hard I wasn’t sure there were any tears left.
“You were fucking her long before Mom left,” Jason roared, the anger in his voice evident even from my bedroom.
“Jason, you need to rein it in, now,” Kent sounded calm, composed, as I crept out into the dimly lit hall. “You had no right telling her.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t tell her. She overheard a conversation between—”
“You think I care how she found out, Son? This wasn’t the right way…”
“You think there’s a right way to find out your mom is a homewrecking who—” The sound of skin cracking pierced the air and I flinched, tiptoeing down the stairs.
“Touch me again…” My step-brother’s voice was low. Deadly. And for a split second, I feared for Kent’s wellbeing. But for as much as an asshole as Jason was, I didn’t truly believe he would hurt his dad.
“Jason, I didn’t… I’m sorry. I just don’t appreciate you talking about Denise in such a way. This is a mess, Son. If only you had come to me sooner—”
“You would have what? Ended it? Tried to fix things with Mom?”
“That’s not—”
“Didn’t think so,” Jason ground out. “Mom left. She left because of you. Because of her. And you wonder why I can’t fucking stand her.”
“Enough,” Kent snapped. “Denise is my wife, Jason. Nothing you could have said or done was ever going to change that. I love her. And I’m sorry things happened the way they did, I truly am, but life isn’t always easy, Son. It’s messy and hard and sometimes it hurts.”
I was rooted to the spot, my fingers curled around the bannister. I’d never heard Jason and his dad argue before. They weren’t always warm with one another, but I figured that was down to Jason. He was detached, devoid of emotion. But now I realized there was far more to my step-brother than met the eye, and for as much as I didn’t want to feel sympathy for him, I couldn’t help it.
I’d known the truth for a few hours—he’d lived with it for years.
So why had he never told me? It couldn’t have been to protect me, that made no sense. He’d expressed his contempt for me on more than one occasion. But a tiny part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he wanted to spare me the pain that came with knowing.
A door slammed, jolting me from my thoughts, and I ran back upstairs, locking myself in my room. I might have felt sympathy for Jason, but Flick was right, I was hardened. Because although I knew he was in pain, although I knew he probably needed someone as much as I did right now, I couldn’t be that person for him.
I couldn’t forgive him.
By the time Monday morning rolled around, I was exhausted. I’d barely sl
ept last night. My conversation with Mom, and the one I’d overheard between Jason and Kent, replayed over and over, until my dreams became a skewed reality; lies and truths becoming a tangled web of uncertainty. Jason hadn’t returned home and I assumed he’d stayed over at Asher’s, or his latest hook up’s. I’d overheard Kent reassuring Mom things would blow over, as if the truth was just something we could all brush under the rug and ignore. But whatever they needed to tell themselves for an easy life.
“Good morn—you look like crap.” Flick’s brows knitted together. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got precisely,”—she checked the clock on the dash—“eleven minutes, hit me.”
So I told her what happened, from the moment Cameron showed up at her house yesterday, right up to when I’d heard Jason and Kent arguing last night.
“Okay, let me get this straight,” she said, pulling into the school parking lot. “You had hot delicious sex with Cameron; found out your mom and Kent had an affair behind Mrs. Ford’s back, effectively ending their marriage, and Jason knew all this time?”
“Don’t forget the bit about Cameron being a jerk to me all these years because my step-brother made him choose between us.” My lips flattened into a tight line.
“I don’t even know where to start. Let’s start with the sex.” Her eyes twinkled with possibilities. “Yes, let’s definitely start there, although you owe me so much for the fact you had sex in my bed. I mean, really? I had to sleep in there.” Her nose wrinkled.
“Flick, focus.” I groaned, burying my face into my hands, partly from embarrassment and partly from frustration that we were even talking about this. “Did you hear anything I just said? Cameron basically treated me like crap all these years because—”
“He was protecting you, obviously,” she said the words without hesitation, her eyes rolling the way they did whenever she thought I was being dumb, as I peeked over at her.
“Protecting me, right.”
“Come on, Hails.” She leaned over, tugging my hands away from my face. “You can’t deny it has a certain romantic poetry.”
“Romantic poetry,” I muttered under my breath, shouldering the door and climbing out of her car. “Well romantic or not, I’m not sure how I feel about it all.”
“So, you’re not going to have a Romeo and Juliet style reunion in the cafeteria?” Her brows waggled and I pursed my lips.
“You do know they both ended up dead?” My brow shot up and she smothered a laugh. “That won’t be happening, Flick. Besides, you seem to have forgotten one very minor detail, I have to survive that first.” I pointed at the gathered crowd, all staring in my direction.
“Shit,” she whistled between her teeth. “Maybe we should cut class today. I’m not sure—”
“Nope.” I hitched my bag up my shoulder and started forward, ignoring the chorus of insults.
Slut.
Whore.
Eagles skank.
I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing down the tears building. “I will not let Lewis Thatcher, or anyone else for that matter, run me out of school,” I said with wavering conviction.
So they had all seen the video of me passed out and naked? Shame on them for watching it in the first place. I had bigger things to worry about now. Like my homewrecking mother and my conflicting thoughts for a step-brother I’d spent the best part of six years hating.
Not to mention the guy who consumed my every waking thought but gave me whiplash at every turn.
Flick plastered herself to my side, slipping her arm through mine. “You’re either very brave, Hails,” she whispered, her hard gaze sending warning signs to a few girls nearby who were blatantly pointing and snickering. “Or very stupid.”
“Yeah,” I breathed out, feeling my classmates judgy stares brush up against me as we filed into school. “I’ll let you know which when I figure it out.”
What I really wanted was to turn and run, to get far far away from them. But I would not cower. Not today. Not over the video or my classmates. I was better than that.
Better than them.
And it’d take more than this to break me.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Cameron
“Get it together, ladies,” Coach boomed across the field as I fumbled the ball for the third time that morning. “Fourteen,” he yelled. “Do we have a problem, Son?”
“No, Sir,” I replied, cussing under my breath.
“And what about you, QB? Something you want to tell me?”
“No, Sir,” Jase echoed my words, glaring at me across the field.
I hadn’t seen him since he stormed off yesterday. But it was fine by me; I had bigger things to deal with.
“Okay, run it again.” Coach Hasson sounded pissed, and I didn’t blame him. We were unfocused, the tension between me and Jase rippling around the field like a storm on the horizon.
“How about you try to catch it this time?” Someone chuckled but I let it roll off my shoulders, moving into position for the play.
“Hut,” Jase’s voice echoed around us as Grady snapped him the ball, and I took off, looping behind him and down the right-hand side of the field. He let the ball fly and I tracked its projection, but something caught my eye.
Hailee.
She was sat in the bleachers, glasses framing her face, sketch pad balanced on her knees.
“Mother of God,” Coach yelled, as my fingers grazed the leather and the ball rolled out of my reach. “Bring it in offense. Now.”
I let out a heavy sigh as I jogged over to the sideline, but Jase stepped in front of me. “What the fuck is wrong with you today?” he said through gritted teeth and I shot him a hard glare. “You really want to go there?” I snapped.
“Maybe we should. Maybe if we aired all this crap between us, you’d actually manage to catch a fucking pass or two.” He was toe-to-toe with me now, our shoulders squared, eyes locked on one another.
The entire field was quiet, tension crackling in the air as everyone waited to see what would happen.
“Walk away, Chase,” he said coolly.
“You walk the fuck away.”
“If the two of you don’t get over here in the next two seconds,” Coach boomed. “I’m going to knock your goddamn heads together.”
Jase expelled a heavy sigh and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what had just gone down between us and then he did something I never expected.
He walked away.
Forcing myself to take a breath and calm down, I trailed after him, joining the huddle.
“Did I wake up in some alternate universe where my wide receiver can’t catch the damn ball and my quarterback is growling at his teammates instead of talking to them with the goddamn respect they deserve?” His eyes drilled into me and Jase as we stood shoulder to shoulder, despite the vast fucking ocean between us.
“Sorry, Coach,” Jase grumbled. “It’s been a rough couple of days.” His eyes slid to mine.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Coach Hasson cupped his ear. “Because it sounded like you grew a pussy overnight, Ford. It’s week five. We’re at the halfway mark, ladies. You think we can afford to drop the ball now, no pun intended, Chase? The play-offs are almost within our reach, but we need to keep our heads. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Sir,” a few of us mumbled.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
“Yes, Sir.” Our voices melded into one.
“Good, now get out there and play like the team I know you can. Chase, Son, a word.”
Jase’s eyes followed me as I stayed behind while everyone else moved into position. “Do I need to be worried?” Coach didn’t beat around the bush. “You’re fumbling the ball, messing up plays, and I know you were late to conditioning this morning. Something you want to tell me, Son?” His eyes softened as he waited for answers.
Answers I didn’t have.
Because while everything was falling to shit around me,
I couldn’t tell him.
I couldn’t say the words even if I wanted to.
“I’m fine, Coach,” I choked out, feeling the weight of the lie heavy on my chest. “I’ll be fine.”
His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Let’s go then. We’ve got a game to win Friday.” Coach clapped me on the back, and I jerked forward, my eyes skirting over to where Hailee sat all alone. I wanted to go over there. To apologize for yesterday and explain everything, but what was the point? She’d barely looked at me all morning, her walls higher than ever.
I’d finally gotten my moment with her, only to have it ripped away from me in the blink of an eye.
And it sucked.
“Chase, let’s go,” Coach snapped, and I shook my head, ridding myself of the thoughts. I wanted Hailee. I wanted her so fucking much. But I wanted a lot of things. College. A football scholarship. A bright future.
But sometimes dreams didn’t come true.
Sometimes they went up in flames and there was nothing you could do but try to avoid the burn.
“Okay, I gotta ask, what the fuck is going on with you and Jase?” Ash slammed his hand against the locker next to mine, blocking my exit.
“Not in the mood,” I said, cutting him with a hard look.
“Tough shit because I tried asking him and he almost bit my head off. So now I’m asking you. And don’t give me any of that, ‘everything is fine’ bullshit. I was at practice. I saw you fumble the ball like a pro. Let’s not forget the fact the two of you looked ready to throw down.”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” I spotted Hailee out of the corner of my eye and leaned back against the locker bank, following her with my eyes. She didn’t look at me; she didn’t have to. I felt her ‘stay the fuck away from me’ vibes from where I was standing.