by L A Cotton
As it was though, I had become fast friends with Felicity and her best friend Hailee Raine. Those girls were something else; refusing to conform to the Rixon way of football and more football. I decided to overlook the minor detail that they were both dating football players now. And not just any football players; Rixon Raider royalty to be exact. The irony wasn’t lost on me, or them for that matter. But you couldn’t help who you fell for. I knew that better than anyone.
My cell phone vibrated and I grabbed it off the desk, reading Felicity’s text.
* * *
Flick: Running late... I stopped over at the Ford’s.
* * *
Rolling my eyes, I typed a quick reply.
Me: Say no more. I’ll see you in a few.
* * *
That was what I loved about Felicity. Despite being in a relationship with one of the broodiest, meanest, and downright arrogant guys I’d ever met, she hadn’t wavered in her friend-ability. Every morning, even if she was a little late sometimes, Felicity picked me up for school. And every morning, we talked about all the things girlfriends should talk about.
My cell vibrated again and I smiled, eager to see whatever zany reply Flick had cooked up. But when I ran my eyes over the screen, I froze.
* * *
J: I need you, Mya. Please...
* * *
I quickly deleted the message and shoved my cell in my jean pocket. Trying to ignore the way it burned a hole. If I texted him back, we’d go around and around in circles like we always did.
Jermaine might have needed me.
But it wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough.
I never would be.
So I did what I’d done every day since arriving here. I grabbed my school bag, headed downstairs and waited for my ride.
Because sometimes pretending was better than facing the truth.
“Mya, come in,” Miss Hampstead, the school guidance counselor, smiled up at me from behind her desk. “How are you?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“It’s Monday morning,” I said. “Can things ever really be okay on a Monday morning?” My lips curved into a tight smile.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She laughed softly. “I quite like Mondays. The start of a new week, the endless possibilities, the chance to be better.”
“Spoken like a true guidance counselor.”
We both laughed at that.
“So I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing? Your teachers are all very pleased with your progress and your grades are looking great. Have you given college anymore thought?”
“Actually, I have.” I unzipped my bag and dug around inside, pulling out the stack of papers. Handing them to her, I sat back and waited. Miss Hampstead took her time, running her eyes over my notes.
“Excellent. We can set aside some time before the holidays to get these submitted if you’d like?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“I noticed you’ve picked two out of state schools and Temple University.”
I nodded, feeling my throat close. “I want to keep my options open.”
“Having options is good. Not that I suspect you’ll have any problems, with your transcripts looking as strong as they do.”
I tapped my knee rhythmically, forcing a smile. “Great, can I...?” I thumbed to the door.
“Actually, before you go, I just wanted to ask how things are... socially.”
“Socially?” My brows pinched.
“Yes. I’m aware you’ve made quite good friends with Hailee Raine and Felicity Giles.”
“That’s correct.”
“And they are currently dating Cameron Chase and Jason Ford.”
“Miss Hampstead, if you have something to say, just say it.”
She let out a small sigh, her expression softening. “I’m sure you’re more than aware of the recent issues between Jason, and Lewis Thatcher over at Rixon East High.”
“It’s hard not to be aware.” Football was to Rixon what oxygen was to the human race.
“I just want you to be careful, okay? You’re new here and you’re...” She swallowed hard.
“You can say it, I am fully aware that I’m the odd one out.”
“Rixon is a good town with a lot of good people, Mya. But small towns like this can also be difficult places for... outsiders.”
“You mean people of color?” My brow rose sardonically.
She sighed. “Rixon High likes to pride itself on being inclusive, Mya, but the reality is over ninety-six percent of our students are White American.”
“I’m in the four percent club, got it.”
“Mya, I know this isn’t an easy conversation to have, but I just wanted you to know that I’m here, if you need anything to make your time with us easier, or if a problem arises.”
“Sure thing, Miss Hampstead. I appreciate it.” But what I really wanted was to get the hell out of her office.
“Okay, well, I think that’s it for now. My door is always open.”
With a small nod I left her, only to bump into another face of concern.
“Hey, everything okay?” Felicity was waiting for me.
“Yeah, just the usual. Newsflash, did you know ninety-six percent of the student body at Rixon High are white?”
“She said that?”
“Yep.”
“Wow, that’s… I don’t really have any words.”
“Welcome to my world,” I grumbled as we made our way toward class.
“So, me and Hailee were talking at the weekend and we think we should do something epic for New Year.” Felicity looped her arm through mine.
“How epic are we talking?” I gave her a sideways glance. “Because the last time you wanted to do something epic you got a very real, very permanent tattoo.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Not that epic. But Rixon on New Year’s Eve is hardly anything to shout home about. Usually, Asher has a big party and everyone gets so wasted they can’t even remember what year it is the next morning.”
“I thought you never went to his parties before this year?”
“We didn’t. But people talk.” She shrugged. “Anyway, I told you about the time we went to New York with the guys?”
“You mean the time you gave it up to Jason?”
“Ssh!” She hugged me closer. “That is not the point right now. Asher’s cousins are super rich and know all the best clubs. And this time, you can come with us.”
“Hmm, I’m not sure. That sounds kind of—”
“You have to come. Even if we don’t go clubbing, we can stay in the swanky penthouse again and have our own private party. It’s our last New Year’s before college. We’ve got to make it one to remember.”
“It sounds kind of expensive.”
“Oh hush, we’ll probably just throw in some cash for gas. Asher’s dad will handle the penthouse and the guys will buy all our drinks. The only thing you’ll really need is a killer outfit.”
“It’d just be the six of us?”
She shrugged again. “I guess, unless Vaughn and Riley join us again. But I’m not sure how I feel about her coming around Jason.”
I grabbed her hand, inspecting her nails. “Is that your claws I see coming out?”
“Uh, Mya, you didn’t see her. She was like a freakin’ model.”
“Hmm, have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re gorgeous, girl. Besides Jason loves you.” Even I couldn’t deny Rixon’s star quarterback loved my friend something fierce. He’d softened a lot since they’d finally got their act together.
A bolt of pain shot through my heart but I ignored it.
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re totally right.” She gave me a warm smile. “Oh look, class calls. See you at lunch?”
“Yep, if I survive two hours of biology.”
“Good luck with that.” She chuckled.
We parted ways and I headed into class. Felicity knew bits and pieces about my
past, about Jermaine. But she didn’t know all the gritty, painful details.
No one did.
And I never wanted them to.
Before I joined Felicity and Hailee in the cafeteria for lunch, I headed to my locker to trade some books. Once I was done, I finally caved and checked my cell phone, instantly regretting it. Four messages. Three from Jermaine, and one from my girlfriend, Shona.
* * *
J: Call me, I need you.
* * *
J: Why you gotta be this way, Mya? I miss you. I love you. I need you... I’m nothing without you, baby girl.
* * *
J: For real, it’s going to be like that? Your mama won’t even tell me where you’re at.
* * *
Shona: It’s bad, girl. Call me xo
* * *
My stomach sank, my insides torn apart as my head and heart warred over what to do. Part of me, the part who would always be a young naïve girl in love, wanted to call Shona and see what was going down. But the other part, the part who knew making that call only led down a road to more hurt and heartache, quickly deleted all four text messages.
When I’d first left Fallowfield Heights, our small neighborhood in the heart of Badlands, Mom had wanted me to get a new number, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t cut myself off completely. Maybe one day, I would.
But today was not that day.
Pushing down the worry, I made my way to the cafeteria, aware of the odd stare as I wound my way through the tables to get to Felicity and Hailee. I let them roll off my back though. You soon got used to being one of the four percent—one of the only Latina girls in a predominantly white school. Even if the licks of curiosity, of wariness and disapproval were like a thousand tiny blades over my skin.
Rixon High didn’t only love a minority story though. It loved any kind of gossip it could get its hands on, and despite being the girlfriends of two of the most popular guys in school, my friends weren’t immune to their peers’ scrutiny. Sure, they didn’t have to deal with insults or rumors based on the color of their skin or where they came from, but they had to deal with their fair share of bullshit. And like me, they handled it with grace and the attention it deserved.
“Hey,” Felicity caught my eye. “We were just talking about you.”
“All good I hope?”
A couple of girls watched me, eyeing me discreetly while they pretended to talk, as I sat down and pulled out my lunch.
“Mya, what’s... Oh.” Hailee’s expression hardened. “Ignore them, I do.”
“I’m pretty sure they don’t whisper about you for the same reasons as they whisper about me.” Irritation rippled through me as I stared right back, daring them to say something. When they didn’t, I casually flipped them the bird.
Hailee snickered while Felicity whipped her head over in their direction. “You really think they’re offended because you’re Latina?”
“Oh, I know they are.” I sat back in the chair, taking a bite of apple.
“It’s just so... so narrow minded. We had an African-American president for Christ’s sake.”
“People are threatened by what they don’t know. And I don’t need to point out the obvious. Rixon is the epitome of hick town.”
“We are not... Okay,” Felicity backtracked. “Maybe we are, just a little bit.”
“I almost wish you hadn’t gotten with Jason just so I could make a play for him and really give the people of Rixon something to talk about.”
“You could always make a play for another football player.” Hailee smirked, not saying the words we all knew she was thinking.
“Me and Asher are friends. Just friends.”
“But you could be more. You could be friends who—”
“Do not finish that sentence.”
“What?” Her hands went up. “I’m just saying, I’ve been sensing some more-than-friends vibes from the two of you.”
I frowned at that. Sure, me and Asher had hung out a couple of times with Felicity and Hailee and the guys, but that was inevitable. Our best friends were all in relationships with each other.
Our lives were entwined whether we wanted them to be or not.
“I didn’t come here to meet someone. I came here to avoid guys. Period.”
“Yeah, but come on, Mya, it’s senior year.” Felicity gave me her puppy dog eyes, the ones that had gotten us into trouble more than once since I’d arrived here.
“Exactly.”
They both rolled their eyes, chuckling at my reasoning. But they didn’t get it. They didn’t know that while I’d escaped to Rixon, part of me was still back in Fallowfield Heights with Jermaine. They couldn’t understand how it felt to know you’d left the one person you promised you’d always be there for, alone. They couldn’t appreciate what it was like to be scared for someone’s life. For your own life.
They couldn’t know.
Because although I was sitting at their table, sharing and laughing and joking about our lives and friends and what we were going to do over the weekend, the fact of the matter was they belonged here.
And I didn’t.
Regardless of how much I pretended.
Chapter Two
Asher
“What do you think he wants?” I asked my best friend, Jase, as we made our way to the locker room. Coach had sent a text out at the ass crack of dawn, insisting the team be there at eight thirty sharp. It was weird. Especially since the season was over and we were State Champs.
Only by association. “Thanks for the reminder,” I grumbled to myself.
I hadn’t played in the championship game, or any of the play-off games for that matter. Instead, I’d sat on the sidelines, cheering my team, my brothers, to victory, all so my best friend and captain, Jason Ford, could play.
“Fuck if I know,” he said, shouldering the door. The second we stepped inside, the rest of the team cheered, chanting Jason’s name like he was the motherfucking King.
I guess to them, he was.
He’d taken them all the way to State. In a place like Rixon that meant something.
It meant every-fucking-thing.
A couple of guys caught my eye, sending me a nod of appreciation. Some of them knew the truth—knew that the only reason Jason had got to play in the play-offs was because I’d taken the fall for him a few weeks back.
Rixon High had a long-standing rivalry with the next school over, Rixon East, and things had turned ugly between Jason and their captain, Lewis Thatcher. It had all come to a head a few weeks ago, when Lewis lured Jason into a fight. Coach and Principal Finnigan had caught wind of it and threatened to kick him off the team. But it never came to that.
I stepped in and turned the heat from Jase to me. People knew I was always down for a rumble and they knew I was stupid enough to do something like try to protect Jason. And even though, deep down, I was pretty sure Coach knew the truth, he let me take the fall. Because Jason was the best. Jason was the player the team needed to go all the way.
And me?
Well, I guess I was expendable.
It had sucked watching my team fight their way through the play-offs for victory. Cut me to the bone when Jase had called me out onto the field during the championship game, going against Coach’s and Principal Finnigan’s orders for me to remain on the bench at all times. But I took it like the man I was. Football meant everything to Jason. But it was never the end goal for me. And I couldn’t see his dreams of going pro go up in smoke all because of some stupid fucking rivalry gone bad.
“Ladies, look alive,” Coach Hasson boomed, strolling into the locker room looking far too alert for a Tuesday morning. “Now, I know you didn’t expect to be here today. The season’s done, it’s almost the holidays, and God only knows you all deserve some downtime after the play-offs.” Another chorus of cheers rumbled around the room. “Okay, okay, quiet down.”
“Guys, come on,” Jason yelled when they showed no signs of calming down.
Silence ushered ove
r us and Coach gave Jase an appreciative nod. “I’ll miss that, Son,” he mused, stroking his jaw. Not saying the words we all knew he was thinking.
There would never be another Jason.
Someone to lead the team the way he had.
Jason was the stuff legends were made of and there wasn’t a single person in the room who didn’t believe he was going all the way to the NFL.
“I wish I could say this is good news, but honestly, after the last few months, I’m not sure you’ll agree.”
Jase stiffened beside me and Cameron shot me a frown.
“The news won’t break officially until this afternoon, but I’ve been given permission to tell you first.” Coach paused, stress lines crinkling his eyes. Whatever he was about to say wasn’t good. Which meant it could only be about one thing.
Lewis Thatcher and the Rixon East Eagles.
“Formal charges are being brought against Lewis Thatcher. I also learned this morning that Washington pulled his scholarship.”
“Fuck yeah,” someone hollered as the guys began discussing Coach’s announcement.
“Did you know?” I whispered to Jase who was still as statue beside me.
“No,” he clipped out, his expression strained.
“Hey, man,” that was Cameron. “This is a good thing.”
“They’ll probably want Hailee to testify.”
“Shit, I didn’t—”
“Bring it in,” Coach yelled. “I’m not done yet.”
There was more?
I wasn’t sure Jason could take anymore, volatile energy rippling off him in dark waves. I couldn’t blame him though. If Thatcher had come after my sister and put his hands on my girl, I would’ve wanted blood too.