by L A Cotton
But I did.
Asher had trusted me with his deepest darkest secrets. So when he looked me in the eye and told me he wanted forever, I believed him.
Even if it was crazy.
“Fee, baby, this looks really good, but I’m not sure I can stomach it.” Asher groaned, pushing away the plate of food and dropping his head on the counter.
“It’s not like I cooked it.” She chuckled. “All I did was serve it.”
“Still, it looks great,” I said, digging into my plate of bacon and pancakes. A glass of water and a couple of Advil had worked wonders on my hangover.
“Ash, man, I know you’re hurting right now, but please stop calling my girl ‘Fee, baby’.”
“Don’t be such a caveman,” Flick rolled her eyes at him.
“Yeah, Jase,” Asher mumbled from his arm. “Don’t be such a caveman.”
“Okay, then, let’s see how the fuck you like it.” Jason set his sights on me and I frowned across the counter at him. “Hey, Mya, baby,” he said huskily, “how are your pancakes?”
“Hmm, good, thanks.” I slid my eyes to Asher who had gone tense.
Jason smirked. “You’ve got a little syrup right there.” He stood up and leaned over the counter, his arm coming toward me. “Here, let me get—”
“Don’t even think about it.” Asher wrapped his hand around Jason’s wrist, his eyes narrowed to deadly slits.
“Now you know how it feels.”
“Not the same thing at all, and you know it.”
“Yeah.” Jason grinned. “It was just too tempting to fuck with you. Now eat something, it’ll make you feel better.”
“He this bossy with you?” Asher glanced at Felicity who blushed a deep shade of red.
“Oh, you have no idea.”
“You love it,” Jason said around a mouthful of bacon.
“Maybe.” My friend was beet red now. “Just a little.”
“I can’t believe it’s January first,” Hailee said. “Graduation will be here before we know it.”
“Bring it on if you ask me. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of Rixon.”
“Jason!” Felicity scolded.
They started bickering but Asher had my full attention. He was still curled in on himself, face hidden in the crook of his arm. I rested my hand on his thigh, squeezing gently. It was a show of support; a way to let him know I was here for him.
I didn’t expect him to straighten, clear his throat, and say, “So I have something to say and I need you to let me get it out, okay?” His eyes flicked to mine and I silently asked him if he was sure.
“It’s time,” he breathed.
Anticipation rippled around us, the air thick and heavy.
“Whatever it is, we’ve got your back,” Cam broke the awkward silence while Asher tried to find the words.
“Yeah, we’re here, man,” Jase added. “One hundred percent.”
“I know and I appreciate it. More than you know.” Asher pushed off his stool and stood up, raking a hand through his tousled bed hair. “Fuck, I don’t even know how to say this.”
“Ash...” I started but his eyes cut to mine, the pain behind them making the words dry on my tongue.
“Asher, it’s okay,” Felicity said quietly, coming around to me. “We’re all here.”
“Ah, fuck it,” he expelled a long breath and then fixed his eyes on his two best friends and then he said the words I knew it would kill him to say.
“I won’t being playing college football next season.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Asher
The two guys who knew me better than anyone stared at me as if they no longer knew who I was.
“You’re joking,” Jase laughed but it was a strangled kind of sound that made me internally flinch. “It’s a joke.”
“It’s not a joke, Jase,” I said grimly. “I won’t be playing football for the Panthers.”
He sat straighter, running a brisk hand down his face. “You’ve lost your goddamn mind.”
“Jason.” Felicity shot him a harsh look before settling her eyes on me. “But you love football,” she said.
“Yeah, well, football isn’t going to secure my future. And we can’t all be like you, man, with a shot at going pro.”
Jason winced at the bitterness in my tone. I wanted to tell him it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my piece of shit father, but I couldn’t find the words.
I was still surprised I’d even told them the truth about college.
“So if you’re not going to play football, what the fuck are you going to do?”
“You know Pittsburgh is my old man’s alma mater. I’m going to study business and when I graduate...” the words lodged in my throat. “I’m going to help Dad expand his tech business.”
“If that’s what you want, man.” Cam smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Then good for you.”
“I still don’t get it,” Jase narrowed his gaze, scrutinizing me as if he saw right through my bullshit. “You can study and play football. Why would you—”
“Gotta grow up one day, right? Figured I might as well get a head start. Besides, it won’t be the same without you guys.”
“Ash, man, come on, this doesn’t make any sense.” I’d expected this, expected Jase to be the one who wouldn’t let it go. “You’re a Raider,” he said. “The dream was always college football.”
“Yeah, well, dreams change,” I said, exhaling a shaky breath as I locked eyes on him. Jase didn’t get it. How could he? Football had always been everything to him, the dream and the end goal. And despite his rocky relationship with his dad, at least Mr. Ford understood what it was like to want something so badly it consumed your every waking minute.
Right from when he first held a football, Jason was a star in his father’s eyes. I was nothing but a bitter disappointment to mine.
And now I’d disappointed my best friend. The guy who had been my captain and quarterback for as long as I could remember.
We were locked in an impasse. Jason wanted to say more; it was right there in his eyes. The need to unearth my reasons, to know why it had to be like this. And I was silently pleading with him to let it go.
In the end, it wasn’t me who walked away like I’d expected. It was Jason.
“Fuck,” I hissed, clenching a fist against my thigh. Mya got up and came to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“He’ll come around.”
“Excuse me,” Felicity jumped to her feet. “While I go beat some sense into my boyfriend.”
“We should probably make a start on getting the bags,” Hailee said to Cameron who was staring at me with an apologetic expression.
“He’ll cool off. This is your decision, not his.”
“Thanks.” I gave him a sharp nod, unwilling to offer him any further explanation.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” I said the second me and Mya were alone.
She craned her neck to look at me. “Maybe the whole truth would have been better.”
“I tried but I’m not ready. If you think this changes things, them knowing the whole story will really screw things up.”
“They’re your friends, Ash, they’ll understand.”
Looping my arms around her, I held Mya tight to my chest. “I’m not ready.”
I didn’t know if I ever would be. I’d lived with this lie for so long it had become an extension of me. A ten-foot wall erected out of lousy jokes and false smiles. Telling them would be like baring myself to the world, the real me. Not the version people knew and loved. But the other version.
The dark tainted version that had anger simmering in his veins and pain festering in his heart.
“Okay,” Mya whispered. “We’ll figure it out.”
“As long as I have you, it’ll be okay.” My lips fixed over hers, finding solace in her softness, the little noises she made as my tongue stroked hers. Being with Mya was going to be complicated. But my whole fuck
ing life was complicated.
At least with her by my side, I didn’t have to face the shitstorm alone.
After giving everyone a ride home, I returned the minivan to the rental place and picked up my Jeep. Mya had offered to ride with me, but I needed space. Time to clear my head, ready to deal with Dad’s bullshit when I got home.
Pushing open the door, I steeled myself when his voice drifted down the hall. “Asher, Son, we’re in the kitchen.”
Waiting to pounce, no doubt.
I ditched my bags by the staircase and made my way toward the back of the house.
“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” Mom greeted me first, her smile too wide, her eyes red and swollen.
She’d been crying.
Which meant he’d upset her.
Anger boiled in my blood. “Happy New Year, Mom. Dad.” I gave him a sharp nod while I hugged Mom.
“Did you have fun?” she asked, her voice significantly lower than usual.
“New York was great, thanks.” I forced a smile. “Did you have a nice evening?”
Dad and Mom spent every year at The Danforth, the only five-star hotel and restaurant in a twenty-five-mile radius. They always hosted an extravagant and exclusive dinner. It was the perfect place for Dad to rub shoulders with the other businessmen and wealthy people living in the local area.
“It was...” She hesitated, telling me all I needed to know, “lovely.”
Dad grunted. “The Ginly’s were there. Good people. Malcolm and I were hoping that since you and Kellie will be attending Pittsburgh in the fall together, that maybe you could—”
“The rest of the year is mine,” I ground out. “Isn’t that what you said?”
“I did. But then I didn’t expect you to be gallivanting around town with the Hernandez girl.”
“Mya. Her name is Mya.”
“I know very well what her name is, Son. What I can’t quite understand though is if you’re dating her to make a point or because you genuinely care about the girl?”
“Care about her?” I spat. “I don’t fucking care about her. I love her. I’m in love with her.” My chest heaved with the weight of the words.
“Love?” He chuckled darkly, the sound making my muscles tense. “You’re eighteen, Son. Love is for fools.”
Mom let out a pained gasp behind me, and then fled from the kitchen.
“Nice, Dad. Real nice.”
“Your mother knows how I feel about her.”
I wasn’t sure being a possessive jealous asshole translated into love, but what the hell did I know?
“Mya isn’t going anywhere,” I said resolutely. “So you need to get to used to that. I’ve kept my end of the bargain. I’m still going to Pittsburgh; I’m still going to focus on my degree and leave football behind.”
“Son.” My father rubbed his brow. “Mya is... not suited for our world. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but—”
“Save your condescending racist bullshit for someone who cares. There are still five months until graduation. Five months where I get to say how I live my life.”
He bristled, irritation flashing in his eyes. “Watch your tone, Asher. You might still have five months, but if you think for a second I’ll just stand by and watch you screw up your life for a girl who probably only sees you as her meal ticket, you’ve got another think coming.”
He was deluded.
Completely and utterly deluded.
Mya didn’t love me because of my family’s wealth. She loved me in spite of that.
But he saw all relationships as business transactions. What one person could do for another. In fact, I was pretty sure there was a dollar sign right where his heart was supposed to be.
“I’m done,” I said, moving toward the door.
“You’re making a terrible mistake, Son. Mark my words, one way or another, that girl will ruin you.”
With a final shake of my head, I walked away from him. From the one man I should have been able to look up to and go to for advice. But Andrew Bennet was no more of a father to me than Cam’s dad or Jason’s dad had been. It wasn’t any wonder, I craved the affection he’d never afforded me. And now I’d had a taste of it, I wasn’t sure I could ever give it up.
My father’s warnings be damned.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mya asked me for the third time since I’d picked her up. As if my mood wasn’t bad enough after my conversation with Dad, her aunt had scowled at me from the window, her disapproval burning into me.
“I’m good,” I said tightly, stuffing another fry in my mouth. I’d brought her to Bell’s for some food and then the guys were going to join us with Hailee and Felicity.
“Ash... if something happened when you got home—”
“I said I’m good,” I snapped, then let out a heavy sigh, dragging a hand down my face. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. My dad ambushed me; it wasn’t pretty.”
“Let me guess,” her expression fell, “he’s not happy about us?”
“I don’t give a flying fuck if he’s happy or not. I’m happy, you make me happy.” I reached across the booth for her and Mya laid her hand in mine. “Five months,” I said gruffly, her touch already soothing the tension coiled tightly in my chest. “We just have to survive another five months and then we can escape to college and not have everyone breathing down our necks.”
“Asher, I still haven’t decided which college I’m—”
“Asher, my man.” Grady and Merrick approached us when all I really wanted was to tell them to fuck off so I could beg Mya to say she’d choose Cleveland.
I needed her to choose a school close to me.
“Didn’t expect to see you here.” His eyes flicked to Mya in question.
“We’re meeting the guys,” I said. “They’ll be here soon.”
“Jerry will need to hang a sign soon.” Grady snorted.
“Come again?”
“First Cam, then Jase, and now you. Shit, man, these girls must have golden fucking pussies or—”
I was up and out of the booth in a second, my hands fisted in Grady’s sweater. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Whoa, Bennet, relax,” Merrick came to our teammate’s defense. “He’s just goofing around.”
“Yeah, well I’m fucking sick of it.”
Grady shoved me off him and the two of us squared up to one another, eyes narrowed, jaws set.
“Asher...” Mya had gotten up too. I felt her move to my side. “He’s not worth it.”
“You think just because Bennet’s showing you some attention, you’re special?” Laughter rumbled in Grady’s chest as he tried to save face. We had an audience now, everyone including Jerry watching.
Mya inched forward, her lips pressed into a thin line as she went toe to toe with the Raiders defensive end. “Jealous, Grady?”
“Jealous?” he stuttered over the words. “Why the hell would I be jealous?”
Mya arched her brow, a smug smile tugging at her lips. “Because you’ll never come close to getting a piece of ass as hot as this.” She blew him a kiss before sauntering off toward the restrooms like nothing had happened.
The three of us watched, mouths hanging open.
“Holy shit, Bennet. That was...”
“Hot as fuck.” Merrick finished for him.
“Don’t get any ideas,” I said, feeling my chest tighten again. “She’s mine.”
“Yeah, but how yours are we talking?”
“Grady.”
“Yeah, man?”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered him anyway. “Shut the hell up.”
The friction between us had dissipated, replaced with a different tension. I saw the hunger in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure it was Mya he wanted, not really. My girl had struck a chord with him. He was jealous and instead of being happy for us, he lashed out.
Since I knew all about that, I decided to cut the guy some slack.
“Jesus, Bennet, she’s a firecracker, that one,” Merrick add
ed.
“Yeah, but is she a firecracker in the sa—”
I levelled Grady with a hard look and he swallowed the words. “No more talking shit around Mya, got it?”
“Yeah, I got it,” he grumbled, rubbing his jaw.
Mya returned a couple of minutes later, slipping her arm around me. “Miss me?”
“Always.”
She smirked over at Grady and Merrick who had taken up residence at the booth over from ours. “Think he got the message?”
“Oh, he got the message all right. But now he wants his very own Mya-doll.”
“He does?”
I nodded, fighting a smile. “I think you have a new fan club.”
“Grady?” Mya shuddered, her expression one of disbelief. “But he’s so... Grady.”
I chuckled at that. “Sorry for acting like a caveman earlier. Lately my default setting is to attack.”
“I know exactly how you feel,” she whispered. “When do your parents leave?”
“Tomorrow, thank fuck.”
“And they’ll be gone for how long?” Her fingers toyed with my collar and I struggled to think straight, my thoughts shooting off in a hundred different directions, all which ended with her. Naked. Underneath me.
“I’m not sure. Could be four days, could be a week. Why?”
Mya’s eyes darkened, her teeth biting into her bottom lip. “No reason.”
“You want to play house with me, babe?”
“I wouldn’t say no to it.” She gave me a coy smile, and just like that all thoughts of my dad and Grady and her aunt disappeared.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Mya
The rest of the holidays were uneventful. Asher’s parents ended up being away for almost a week and by the time they got back, which was supposed to be this evening, school was looming.
“I don’t want to go back to reality,” I said to Asher, as we lay curled up on his bed.
I’d spent almost every waking minute at his house; sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with our friends. Aunt Ciara and I were barely talking; her disapproval at how easily I’d given Asher my heart too much for her to accept.