The Return of Her Lost Knight

by Melissa Oliver

  ‘I... I...’ She blinked, unable to answer him momentarily. ‘It is my calling, Ralph.’

  ‘I do not believe you.’ He grazed her cheek with his finger.

  ‘Then I am sorry that I cannot convince you. But it is, nevertheless, the truth.’

  He shook his head, frowning. ‘Will you not talk to me, Gwen and tell me the real reason behind all of this? Tell me what it is that you are afraid of.’

  She wanted to tell Ralph. She wanted to explain everything that happened and why she had not run away with him all those years ago, but somehow the words were stuck in her throat. She did not know how to voice them.

  ‘How did you protect me, Gwen?’ She looked up and found him watching her intently. ‘How did you protect me from Stephen le Gros, all those years ago? Besides the promise that you would marry him, which I wish you had never made, by the way. Indeed, I wish you had had more faith in me to protect you and had run away with me, instead.’

  If only it had been that simple. She screwed her eyes shut before opening them and shaking her head. ‘Oh, Ralph, do you not see it was impossible for me to do that? I could not take the risk of anything happening to you.’

  ‘I know, sweetheart, but at what cost?’ He rubbed his fingers on his forehead. ‘Forgive me for saying this, but I sense that there’s more in the way you protected me, and allowed my safe passage, than the promise of marriage to Stephen, which never came to pass, anyway.’

  Her stomach twisted and knotted in apprehension. This was a question he had asked before, on the night they had ridden in the moonlight. The night he had kissed her again. And just as then, Gwen could not answer him for the shame and guilt she still felt in her bones. But she knew now that Ralph’s suspicions regarding his cousin and her reluctance to answer him meant that she had little choice other to explain everything to him now.

  God, but how she hated having to revisit that awful moment in her life when fate had intervened adversely. But now after finding Ralph again here at this tournament, it almost seemed as though they had returned back to the beginning of that tumultuous time when both their lives changed indefinitely.

  ‘I did everything I could to protect you back then, Ralph,’ she muttered, not quite knowing where to begin. ‘In the aftermath of your father’s death, Stephen had secured the whole of the Kinnerton garrison and he would have made good his promise and killed you and the few men loyal to you. I could not allow that to happen.’

  ‘And you have my thanks, now and back then. But there’s something missing here.’ He exhaled through his teeth. ‘Something that might explain your reticence to a future you once wanted.’

  ‘Life and circumstance ultimately change our perspectives and the very things we once wanted.’

  ‘And what were the circumstances that changed everything for you, Gwen? He brushed his fingers over her hand. ‘Can you not tell me whether you were obliged to promise more to ensure my safety back then? More than marriage.’

  She looked into his eyes which seemed far more cautious and pensive, but also hopeful and trusting.

  Oh, God...

  How would they change once she told him the truth? Would he look on her with contempt and half-veiled disgust after what she would tell him? Mayhap this was also a reason why she had given herself to him. Why she had wanted this one precious unsullied night with Ralph before the reality of their situation tumbled around them. Before the truth served to pull them apart as it surely would, with nothing but derision and scorn left between them.

  ‘Gwen?’ He lifted her chin with his fingers as he whispered softly, ‘What are you hiding?’

  They both jumped when a quick knock was followed by Brida opening the wooden door of their chamber and striding in. ‘Ah, poor Matilde has finally settled to sleep and I...’ Her friend suddenly realised that she was not alone as her eyes flicked from her to Ralph. ‘Oh, I apologise sincerely. I did not mean to intrude on your...well, allow me to remedy the situation. I’ll leave and return later.’

  ‘No need for that, Mistress Brida. Please come.’ Ralph sighed. ‘I was just leaving, myself.’ He leant forward so that only Gwen would hear. ‘I hope to continue this discourse later, my lady?’

  ‘Of course,’ she lied.

  ‘Until later, my lady. Mistress Brida.’ He sketched a deep bow. ‘I bid you both a pleasant night.’

  ‘Yes, goodnight, sir.’

  Gwen slumped back in the bed, unable to look at her friend and hoping the coverlet would swallow her whole from the embarrassment she felt with Brida catching her in such an exposed manner. She might be discreet, but how mortifying to be found in such a state of dishabille. What must Brida think of her? Yet none of it was as dreadful as having to continue the uncomfortable conversation with Ralph de Kinnerton. She groaned inwardly. How had this night come to pass in the way it had?

  Chapter Eighteen

  How had Ralph managed to handle the previous evening with Gwen as badly as he had? He felt like a dolt in the way in which he had behaved in the warm aftermath of their lovemaking. The whole evening had been a surprising pleasure-bound journey of discovery where they had explored one another in the most intimate manner. Yet, somehow, it had ended with Ralph enquiring as to the real reasons why Gwen would not be true to her heart and marry him just as she had always intended. He had beseeched her for the truth about how she had protected him from his cousin six long years ago, instead of running away with him, because he knew it had to be more than her promise to marry Stephen.

  He had made perfectly valid points, with perfectly legitimate questions. But immediately following their intimate relations?

  No. That had not been well done of him.

  Ralph could kick himself for being an inconsiderate fool. As well as being insensitive to her needs afterwards. Like a simpleton he had blundered his way into getting Gwen to explain her aversion to marriage to him or anyone else. Instead, he should have coaxed her to speak to him about it all at a later time—not that they had much time left at this tournament. Even so, after everything that had happened, Ralph should have behaved with far more decorum.

  God above, he would never forget how she had looked in the height of their passion or how she had given herself so completely. Whatever happened between them last night would be etched on his mind in perpetuity. The way her beautiful fair hair tumbled around her, the sweet scent of her soft skin that reminded him of a dewy summer night. The way she kissed him, explored his body and had responded to him, matching him in every way.

  Oh, yes, he would treasure last night for the rest of his days.

  ‘You are very quiet this morn, my friend.’ Tom tilted his head and gave him an impassive look.

  ‘Apologies, but there is much on my mind.’

  ‘I can well imagine.’

  They were striding through the gatehouse of the castle, for a meeting with King Henry, the Marcher Earls, knights and nobles. The time had come to explain the reasons for their contrivance.

  ‘Are you nervous, because I confess that I am?’

  Ralph nodded. ‘Yes, but I am glad that this is all finally coming out in the open. I have hidden behind your good name for far too long.’

  ‘You have, but let me just say that you have certainly elevated my name much further than I during this tournament.’

  ‘I doubt that.’ Ralph chuckled as he pulled his hood over his head. ‘Although it is true that when I dissembled as Sir Thomas, I made quite a good left-handed sweeping strike across the body.’

  ‘Ah, but then that was something that I instilled in you.’ They climbed the stone stairs and made their way up the great hall.

  ‘Is that so?’ He stopped outside the huge wooden door, manned by two guards.

  ‘Absolutely.’

  Ralph snorted as he turned and clasped Tom’s arm. ‘Either way, I would like to convey my heartfelt gratitude for everything you have
done for me.’

  ‘Will you stop? You shall put me to blush.’ Tom extended his arm and clasped Ralph’s arm as well. ‘Besides, you know that I only helped you for the silver.’

  ‘Of course you did.’

  ‘Naturally.’

  ‘It’s been a privilege, my friend.’ Tom motioned towards the door. ‘Well, are you ready to step inside and face the inevitable indignation?’

  ‘I believe so.’ Ralph nodded. ‘Yes, let’s do it.’

  * * *

  Ralph knelt beside his good friend on the cold stone floor strewn with rushes in front of the assembled group of men in the great hall. His sword lay in front of him, his head bent reverently low in front of the young King Henry and the most powerful men in the kingdom who loomed above as they sat on the dais. He felt beads of sweat on his forehead as he stared at the floor. The palms of his hands were clammy, but he resisted rubbing them together while he felt the deafening beat of his heart pierce through the eerie silence of the room. The only light was from the torches flickering on the wall sconces dotted around the large chamber.

  ‘You did what!’ the Earl of Hereford bellowed. ‘And you, de Clancey and Tallany allowed this...knew about this duplicity? This mockery?’

  Ralph felt Will and Hugh walk and stand either side of them.

  ‘We supported this man in his bid to claim his birthright, but it was never an attempt to dishonour anyone at this tournament,’ Will said.

  ‘What else could we possibly derive from such actions?’

  Ralph lifted his head and addressed the Earl of Hereford, who sat on one side of the King and the Earl of Chester on the other.

  ‘I wanted the privilege to be able to pay the heavy scutage settled on my castle and its lands many years ago with anonymity and in the guise of a knight. As my friend here, Sir Thomas Lovent.’

  ‘What we fail to understand is why you would feel the need to behave in such an underhand manner. To conduct your affairs and enter this ennobled tournament that exemplifies our chivalry and honour in such secrecy. This has been badly done of you all!’

  ‘I implore you to listen to my reasonings, my Lord Hereford.’

  ‘Why should we do that? You have made fools of everyone here.’

  ‘I beg pardon, Sire...my lords...but that was never the intention. Our conduct was never nefarious.’ Ralph looked from the King to the other more seasoned men sitting beside him, making sure he looked each of them in the eye. ‘Otherwise, why would we have come on our own behest to inform the Crown of our conduct?’

  ‘Why indeed?’ the Earl of Hereford snorted.

  King Henry stamped his foot. ‘I wish to hear this man. Stand and make us privy to your reasonings, sir.’

  The two knights stood up and bowed before Ralph spoke. ‘There is a very good reason as to why Sir Thomas and I switched our identities, Sire. I did not want my existence, the fact that I’m alive and escaped death, to be known until a time that was more prudent. As it is now.’

  ‘This is preposterous,’ the Earl of Hereford snapped, getting out of his seat.

  ‘Let the man speak, for God’s sake, Hereford,’ the Earl of Chester, Ranulph de Blondville, said in irritation before addressing Ralph. ‘Why would that be, sir? Did you believe your life to be in some sort of danger?’

  ‘Yes, it already had been. But once I joined the retinue of my Lord de Clancey, it was also the opportunity to gain advantage. One that would escape the notice of my enemies.’

  ‘As you said, with the guise of anonymity?’

  ‘Just so, my lord.’

  ‘I see.’ The Earl of Chester narrowed his eyes. ‘Who are you, sir?’

  Ralph took a deep breath before speaking. ‘I am Ralph de Kinnerton, the rightful lord of Kinnerton Castle.’

  There was an audible gasp as Ralph had predicted there would be with such a proclamation. His eyes darted around the chamber and settled briefly on Stephen le Gros, who had drained of colour, spots of greyish puce appearing on his face. The corners of Ralph’s lips lifted faintly as he saw the shock etched on his cousin’s face. The man, however, quickly recovered himself.

  ‘That is a lie!’ Stephen cried. ‘My cousin, Ralph de Kinnerton, whom I would like to remind the court was one time accused of being a traitor, is dead.’

  ‘Silence!’ the Earl retorted. ‘We are not in session at the King’s Court for you to vociferate your protestations, sir, and, as I may recall, it was you, Stephen le Gros, who accused your young cousin of being a traitor!’

  That should have silenced the man, but Stephen had always had the knack to deflect an awkward situation.

  ‘And you think this is him, my lord?’ Stephen pointed at him, barely hiding his contempt. ‘Do you think this man even looks or behaves like my cousin, Ralph de Kinnerton? He is so disfigured that he must be an imposter!’

  With that the hall was suddenly filled with a huge commotion and uproar as many voices clamoured to be heard. Ralph turned, looking in every direction as many of the men who stood around the periphery were openly either disputing or agreeing with Stephen’s allegation.

  But against this he stood tall, resolute, facing forward, with his stance never wavering. Ralph could not show any of these men that inside he felt as though he were faltering under the pressure.

  ‘Silence!’ The Earl of Chester stood, casting his gaze around the hall. ‘What is this rabble we have here?’

  The din eventually quietened until there was only a lingering hum of uncertainty hanging in the air.

  ‘You were saying that you are Ralph de Kinnerton, the only son of Walter and Maud de Kinnerton.’

  ‘I do, my lord.’

  ‘And is there any way you can prove your claim, sir?’ The Earl of Chester gave him a short nod of encouragement.

  ‘Yes, do enlighten us, as I must confess that you do look nothing like the boy I once saw beside Lord Walter de Kinnerton,’ Hereford sneered. ‘He was vastly unremarkable, as his own father privately mentioned to me. You see, we were acquainted.’

  Some of the men including his cousin sniggered, evidently amused at the Earl’s base comments, but Ralph had to hold his nerve and not cower. With a muscle ticking in his jaw, his fists clenched at his sides at being reminded of his own father’s perception of him, Ralph tried to retain his composure.

  Damn, must he continually be reminded of how lacking he once had been?

  He caught Tom’s eye, and saw a barely visible nod of his endorsement. Ralph sensed that the same would be true of the other two men who stood shoulder to shoulder with him—Will and Hugh.

  God, but he was a lucky man to have friends and allies like these men. Ralph squared his shoulders and exhaled deeply before responding.

  ‘You are quite right, my lord, when you describe the boy I once was, but that was over six years ago when my whole life was turned upside down and I was forced to flee my home in peril.’ Ralph pinned his gaze on to the Earl of Hereford who had always endorsed Stephen le Gros. ‘And I may have left as a boy, but I have returned a man—I hope a worthy man as the Lord of Kinnerton.’

  ‘And yet you have hardly proved anything regarding your claim?’

  ‘That is because the scoundrel is an imposter!’ his cousin bawled, chiming in.

  ‘Sir Stephen, you will have your chance to refute any claims this man may have regarding his kinship with you, but if you blurt out once more, then I shall have to ask you to remove yourself from the hall. Do you understand, sir?’

  ‘I do, my lord, but you can appreciate my indignation at having this man claim to be my dead cousin, Ralph de Kinnerton.’

  ‘Oh, believe me, I am very much alive,’ Ralph retorted.

  ‘Ah, but that is just the point, as it will take far more than just sheer faith and belief to confirm your true identity to us, sir, especially as your cousin here repudiates your very claim.’

/>   Hell’s teeth, but this was ridiculous. How was he supposed to validate his claim?

  ‘What would you have me say, my Lord Hereford?’ He made a pointed look at the Earl. ‘That I carry my father’s seal, his signet ring of the Lords of Kinnerton? Or should I divulge details about Kinnerton, castle and all its surrounding areas or my knowledge about its security arrangements that only the constable would be privy to? Or should I regale you with stories of my childhood, talk about my mother, my betrothal? Mayhap you prefer I present the court with my personal belongings, which I still have in my possession? Would any of these convince you that I am who I say I am? Or do you intend to take the word of a man who, after all, had much to gain from my downfall as well as my father’s?’

  ‘That is an outrage!’ Stephen’s snarl echoed through the hall. ‘I have been acting sergeant of Kinnerton, with my Lord Hereford as its Sheriff for over six years, collecting the burden of heavy tax from peasants so that I can somehow pay the Crown its due and finally become its Lord, as my uncle always desired me to be. His heir apparent.’

  There was a stunned silence at this disclosure. On the one hand it exposed Stephen le Gros’s ambitions to enhance his own position at the expense of hardworking men and women who toiled the land, but also the backing of Hereford who stood as Kinnerton’s Sheriff.

  Ralph’s shoulders tensed at the mention of his father’s favouring his cousin over him. But then he realised something that he had always overlooked before. If what his cousin disclosed had been the case, then why had the man been so eager to lend his support to usurp the man who claimed him as his heir apparent? It did not make sense.

  ‘And yet you, along with many others, later accused my father of conspiring against the Crown. An accusation that was never actually upheld even after my father’s untimely demise,’ Ralph declared, flicking his gaze to his cousin.

  ‘My Lords, you cannot allow this upstart, this imposter who has brought this great tournament to disrepute to throw these vile accusations.’