Cryptic Blend

by Kennedy Layne

  “Yes, I do.”

  I hope Heidi has a pair of pliers. Otherwise, we’ll be here all day trying to extract information from this oversized candle. Ted has only been in existence for ten years. Trust me, he doesn’t know anything that can—

  “Mr. Arthur Whitley is an odd character.”

  Who? And did Ted just call someone odd? That is by far the strongest case I’ve ever seen of the pot calling the kettle black.

  “What exactly do you mean by odd?” I asked, when what I really wanted to know was how he knew an Arthur Whitley. As far as I was aware, none of the Whitley family ever came into town. “And how old is this Arthur?”

  I walked around the couch and took a seat at the opposite end of Heidi. Between Leo and Ted, they really were a wealth of information. Once I had a conversation with Liam early this afternoon, I would be armed with all the knowledge I’d need in order to figure out which spell to cast to find the answers to the mystery of the empty crypt.

  Why don’t we make sure your initial spell isn’t the cause of the current apocalypse before you go casting another, shall we, butterfingers?

  “Mr. Arthur must be in his late seventies.”

  Ted tugged on his jacket when he was done fidgeting with the black cloth he’d laid over the roots and herbs inside the basket. The fabric had to be just so before he was satisfied with the presentation. I couldn’t let him leave just yet, though.

  “Why is Mr. Arthur odd, Ted?”

  Wake me when this single syllable interrogation is over. I figure it’ll be dinnertime by then.

  “Mr. Arthur is what some might call paranoid.”

  If you say that the old geezer reminds you of me, I won’t be responsible for my actions.

  I couldn’t help but laugh, and I shifted on the couch until it was easy for me to see Leo on the windowsill. All Ted and Heidi could hear were several raspy meows that Leo had emitted, so I repeated his sentiment before I reassured him that wasn’t the case.

  “Leo, I don’t think you’re paranoid. Things did get a bit intense last night, though. Think about it—a spooky graveyard, patches of fog, little moonlight, and an empty crypt. You ran after Skippy in the middle of it all, and your emotions were running high. You could have imagined it.”

  Leo tilted his head until the longest and most crooked whisker was pointed toward the ceiling. The tip of his tail that resembled a hanger tried its best to stand straight up, failing miserably.

  Skippy! That’s it! He somehow blackmailed a raccoon into his scheme of debauchery. It’s very easy nowadays to dupe humans. He could have stolen a phone with his little grubby hands and made it seem as if the raccoon could talk. It makes perfect sense. That scoundrel is going to pay for this!

  Leo disappeared in a puff of floating hairs before I could tell him that the odds of Skippy being able to pull something like that off was very unrealistic. Then again, a lot of things about my life were pretty unrealistic.

  “Ted, we didn’t find Caroline Abigail Whitley’s remains inside the family crypt,” I said, turning my focus back to the conversation at hand.

  “Perhaps you looked in the wrong crypt, Ms. Raven.”

  Heidi hid her smiled behind her coffee cup.

  “No, Ted. We definitely looked in the right crypt and the right coffin. Caroline Abigail Whitley’s remains are undeniably missing.”

  Ted tilted his square chin as his dark eyes regarded me with curiosity.

  “I will ask Ivan about this new mystery of yours.”

  Both Heidi and I sat in silence at first, but Ted didn’t bother to elaborate.

  “Ivan?”

  “Who is Ivan?”

  Both Heidi and I had exchanged confused looks and spoke at the same time. Ted had a tendency of dropping bombshells, and this moment was no exception. For living on the property, Ted certainly kept his personal life well under wraps. Granted, I’d learned it was best not to ask too many questions. Yes, everyone in town was aware he was in love with a mannequin, but the reason for late-night dinners and not coming home until the wee hours was something I’d postponed learning about.

  “Ivan takes care of the cemetery grounds.”

  Ivan? I’d never heard the name before, though I’d mentioned before there were still a few of the town’s residents I’d yet to meet.

  “Ted, this is fantastic news,” I exclaimed, uncurling myself off the couch to head back into the kitchen. “Do you think Ivan would talk to us? I told Liam to meet us at the cemetery around noon, and it would be great to ask Ivan some questions about the Whitley crypt. Ted, you just made my day!”

  “I call dibs on the shower,” Heidi exclaimed, jumping up from the couch in anticipation of solving the mystery of the empty crypt. I was feeling more confident by the minute that I wasn’t the reason Caroline Abigail Whitley’s remains were missing. “We need to make a pit stop at my place so that I can grab some clean clothes and feed my fish.”

  “Isn’t it nice that you can just camp here whenever you want?” I was feeling better about last night’s shocking find, and we’d be able to get back to what remained of the garage sale. I still had a fistful of dollar bills to spend and some small treasures to find. My good mood also had a lot to do with the fact that the hex bag I’d given to Heidi as a gift hadn’t caused a dreaded zombie apocalypse. “Don’t forget that we have to fit in car shopping for you sometime soon.”

  “Ms. Raven, I—”

  “When does Beetle work again?” Heidi asked as she crossed the floor. “Maybe we can do it then.”

  “Ms. Raven, you need to—”

  “I scheduled Beetle for working Tuesday afternoon,” I replied, glancing over my shoulder to see Ted still standing next to the coffee table. He had the most peculiar look on his face, and it wasn’t like him to stay around when he had plans to visit the boutique. “Ted, what’s wrong?”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to speak with Ivan, Ms. Raven.”

  I’d already drained my coffee cup so that I could refill it, wanting a second cup to sip on while getting ready for the day. Telling myself that my good mood wasn’t about to be eviscerated, I reworded my question to get a more direct answer. Heidi had even stopped her progress to the bathroom located just behind the spiral staircase.

  “Ted, why isn’t it a good idea to talk with Ivan?” I asked cautiously, wondering if Ted knew more about the empty crypt than he was letting on. I made my way over to the island with an empty cup while keeping an eye on Ted. “Did he have something to do with the missing remains of Caroline Abigail Whitley?”

  “Nothing like that, Ms. Raven,” Ted protested, his dark gaze swinging back and forth between Heidi and me.

  My heart rate began to race, and the palm of my right hand began to tingle.

  Oh, this wasn’t good.

  Not at all.

  “Don’t leave me hanging, Ted,” I said a little desperately, already knowing that Ted was definitely going to leave me hanging. “Why would the groundskeeper have a problem if Liam spoke to him about the Whitley family crypt?”

  What groundskeeper?

  Leo was back. He’d reappeared in the middle of the living room, giving his body a little shake to lose a bit of those flyaway strands.

  “Ivan,” I replied, turning my attention back on Ted as I set my empty coffee cup on the island to rub the palm of my hand. “Ted was just saying that he might not want to talk to us, but I don’t know why.”

  Ivan? I don’t know any Ivan. Changing the subject, I couldn’t find Skippy anyway, which probably means he was the one responsible for setting up the talking raccoon gig. I’ve got to hand it to my nemesis. He certainly knows how to up his game.

  Leo didn’t know an Ivan?

  Oh, my morning wasn’t looking so bright anymore.

  My heart was now thumping hard against my chest as I set my gaze on Ted, all but pleading with him to tell me why Leo didn’t know Ivan and why said man wouldn’t want to speak with me or Liam regarding the graveyard.

&nb
sp; “Ted, who is Ivan?”

  “Why, he’s a reaper, Ms. Raven.”

  Can I have a redo on my entrance? I want a redo, Raven. Is it too much to ask that we have one normal day around here?

  Chapter Six

  “Are you really sure this is a good idea?” Heidi asked for the tenth time. She pushed her sunglasses a bit farther up the bridge of her nose, but I could still see through the tinted lenses. Her blue gaze was frantically sweeping the grounds of the graveyard like an approach radar at an airport. I’m pretty sure she was looking for any sign of Ivan. “Let’s face it, Raven. You’re a horrible liar. It doesn’t help that I now know a reaper roams Paramour Bay waiting to collect our souls once we die.”

  I’m with Heidi. This is a terrible idea. Awful, in fact. We should go back home and rethink this entire approach. You know, there might be a spell in the family grimoire that erases the last twenty-four hours and any memory we have of it. Of course, with your luck, you’d end up erasing our entire existence completely…but that option is still on the table, as far as I’m concerned.

  “You’re not helping, Leo. And I’m sticking to the fact that I’m not responsible for our current predicament as it is, so there’s no need to undo an entire day or to erase our entire existence.”

  It was a little bit after twelve o’clock, but I’d wanted to be early for our meeting with Liam. I’d come up with a legitimate excuse as to how Heidi and I discovered that Caroline Abigail Whitley’s remains were missing. The only hitch in my plan was that I’d need to carry it out in the most believable manner. As Heidi had so eloquently put it earlier…I was a horrible liar.

  I’d struggled a lot over the fact that I couldn’t share my secret with Liam. I’d blurted the truth out to Heidi. Luckily, the world hadn’t ended, but I had been warned not to do it again by Leo, my mother, Aunt Rowena, the council of a coven I wasn’t even a part of, and the list goes on.

  Give it time. It’s clear that my beloved Heidi is still digesting Ted’s little revelation that our local reaper—who happens to play high-stakes poker with our Crayola, mind you—will someday pay her a visit. A reaper euphemistically named Ivan. I wonder if he chose that name? Come to think of it, I wonder what Rosemary thought of being escorted into the afterlife by a reaper named Ivan.

  Maybe it was all too much, but I couldn’t spend my time worrying about a reaper who I hoped I didn’t meet until I was far older with a fantastic head of silver and grey hair. I was about to spin another story to the man who I was falling head over heels in love with and who made me extremely happy. In return, I lied to him often…a little too often. He was kind, compassionate, intelligent, loyal, and—I lied.

  For a second, I thought you were going to say sexy. You had me halfway to regurgitating a nasty hairball onto the tip of your shoe. And just to remind you, you’re wearing flats today with a purple flower instead of your usual knee-high boots. A purple flower with grooves in it so that the—well, you get the idea.

  “Yeah, I get it, Leo,” I replied in irritation, purposefully tucking my right foot underneath my black and purple broomstick skirt. The style was my all-time favorite, and I needed all the confidence I could get while trying to lead Liam in the right direction of a crime without revealing the truth of how I was involved. “Heidi, tell me this—should I straight up tell Liam I’m a witch?”

  The answer is a rounding no. N-O. No. Do I need to repeat myself? Maybe a tattoo would help.

  “Only you can answer that, doll.”

  Heidi patted me on the shoulder in sympathy.

  Tell Heidi that I’ve already answered for you, in the negative.

  We’d had this conversation many, many times over the last five months. I’d already exposed the supernatural realm to one human. I’d told the one secret that was meant to be kept for the safety of all supernatural beings. It hadn’t been my right to do so, and I’d been left to deal with the guilt of breaking that trust. It was certainly a heavy burden, and I didn’t want to add to the weight. Besides, the coven might erase me from all existence if I did it again.

  Then it’s simple—don’t. Look at it this way. If you tell the good ol’ sheriff the truth, Ivan will have several more souls to collect today—mine among them. I can only take so much stress, you know. My hair is already falling out in handfuls.

  With that said, I still struggled with how I could make my relationship with Liam successful without including him in every facet of my life.

  Easy. You don’t tell him. Drop him like a hot rock. See? Simple.

  “All I know is that I’ve seen the way that man looks at you, Raven. I don’t think there’s a thing you could tell him that would have you falling off that pedestal he’s put you on.”

  I could always kick it out from under you. It would certainly be my pleasure.

  “Showtime,” Heidi said, straightening as she pushed herself off the trunk of my old Corolla. The sound of Liam’s truck cut through the silence of the cemetery. “Once we hand this case off to Liam, I say we hit what is left of the garage sales and spend away our worries one dollar at a time. Besides, Ted said that he’d speak with Ivan tonight at their regular poker game. I might be having Ted inserting a few inquiries amongst the regular poker table banter. You know, how we’d really like it if we don’t formally meet until we’re in our nineties.”

  Poker. Can you believe that Ted has been playing poker with a reaper? The least they could have done was invite me to join their game. Although, now that I think about it…I wonder if Ivan is a bit peeved that I wasn’t with Rosemary when he came to collect us. Remind me to ask Ted about that. I might owe Ivan a belated sympathy card or something.

  Ted’s announcement regarding Ivan had definitely shocked all of us. He’d never once before mentioned that he could communicate with other supernatural beings. Maybe I’d just assumed he couldn’t due to his inability to hear Leo. With that said, Ted was created with the use of animation magic, which requires spells from transmutation and conjuration spheres of magic. He played such a huge part in my learning the craft, always bringing me the most amazing spell components, but this opened up many new doors.

  Ted, Ted, Ted. It’s all about Ted. Well, I will have you know that—

  “Hi,” I said softly when Liam finally stepped out of his truck. He usually wore a khaki sheriff’s uniform shirt with a pair of faded blue jeans. Today, he wore a button down white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. His firearm was holstered to the waistband of his jeans, and he had on his favorite brown boots. There was something so charmingly handsome about the man, I could hardly stand it. And he still took my breath away every time he smiled. “I missed you last night.”

  “Same,” Liam replied with a grin, leaning down to claim a kiss. Even though the sun was shining and the temperature was rising, he still rubbed my arms up and down in a sign of affection. “I’m beginning to think that I can’t leave you alone for one night, though. What in the world were you and Heidi doing in the graveyard last night, anyway? Hi, Heidi. You two getting into trouble as usual, huh?”

  “Something like that,” Heidi replied with a knowing smile. She seemed to have settled somewhat now that an armed law enforcement officer was around. I didn’t want to break it to her that firearms probably did nothing to stop a reaper. “I spoke with Jack this morning, and he wanted me to tell you that you’re missing all the fun.”

  “Three days of eight-hour lectures…I’ll pass, thanks.” Liam’s rich laughter did nothing to ease my fears that he would see through my little white lies. “Okay. Lay it on me. What were the two of you doing in the cemetery so late last night?”

  Here it goes.

  I took a deep breath and said everything I’d rehearsed at least four times this morning. I could do this without a sweat, knowing that it was in the best of both our interests. Liam had a duty to protect the residents of Paramour Bay, and I had the responsibility to keep the secrets of the supernatural realm.

  “It’s all Leo’s fault,�
� I replied in chagrin.

  Wait just a toad’s ribbit. Did you just throw me under the bus again? You did, didn’t you? I swear, you are the worst pet owner in the surrounding nine counties.

  “Leo was chasing this squirrel, and the next moment he was gone. Heidi and I had no choice but to drive around town last night trying to find him. We were worried sick. We finally spotted him through the gates of the cemetery. Of course, we ended up parking here at the entrance and following him all the way through the graveyard to the back of the property where the crypts are lined up.”

  Not nice, Raven. Not nice at all. I’m going to go live with Heidi.

  “First things first,” Liam said, releasing his hold on me as he looked over his shoulder. I peered around him, but I didn’t see anything unusual. “Is Leo safe at home?”

  The second we’d heard the rumbling sound of the engine in Liam’s truck, Leo had vanished. He hadn’t gone far, obviously, letting me know exactly what he thought of this cover story every step of the way. Alas, it was the best I could come up with, and it would explain why we had been inside the Whitley family crypt last night.

  I can see at least five holes in your story. Ten. No, make that fifteen.

  “Yes, Leo is safe at home and sleeping in his favorite spot in the front windowsill.”

  That’s exactly where I should be, but noooo. I had to be given the impossible task of making sure you acclimate to the supernatural realm. How was I supposed to know that included being sacrificed on the altar of “I can’t cast a spell to save my life” on a daily basis? We’re going to be taken over by zombies if you and the resident warlock keep opening portals to other planes of existence every time I turn my back.

  “I’m glad to hear that Leo is safe.” Liam once again peered over his shoulder, giving a slight nod of approval. What in the world was he looking for? “Ah, here’s Cliff now.”

  Cliff?

  Oh, no. This isn’t good. I completely forgot about that oddball.

  Who was Cliff?

  A wave of worry rolled over me that there was a man named Cliff in this scenario, and I had no idea who he was and completely afraid that his true identity might very well send me off the loony bin cliff.