by Susan Hayes
“Goddess, I hope so.”
“And… biting?” If she was going to embrace her new, crazy life, then she didn’t want to do it without Connell. In fact, she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. If that wasn’t love, she’d eat kale for a week.
All the celebratory noise faded away as Connell lifted her into his arms and kissed her. “Whatever my witch wants.”
She kissed him back. “Right now, I want to celebrate. Later on, nudity.” If this was the start of the rest of her life, then she wanted to do it right.
Chapter Fifteen
The after-party was at the Watering Hole, and it was something to behold. There were Shifters dancing on the tables, dousing each other in random showers of Grizz Fizz cola, and eating their weight in fried foods and pastries.
Connell drank it all in. He loved a good party, but this one was different. This time, when the party ended, he wouldn’t be packing up and moving on. Oh, he was still going to wake up tomorrow morning next to a beautiful woman, that much hadn’t changed, but she’d be the same woman he’d woken up with this morning, and would every day for the rest of his life.
Breeze sat beside him, holding court to a grateful and exuberant town full of Shifters. She was as glad and giddy as everyone else, though she knew as well as he did that this was only the opening salvo of the war between the town and The Father of Shadows. Anyone willing to kill to get what they wanted wasn’t going to back down after a single fight. They weren’t going to have much time to enjoy their victory.
“You look like you just bit into a jelly doughnut and discovered it was hollow. What’s up?” Breeze asked.
They were alone for the moment, which meant he could say what was on his mind without bringing down the festive mood. “Just thinking about what comes next. This Father guy had thirteen years to plan for the moment the town’s protective spells started to fail. He knew you and the other two witches would come back and claim your place as protectors. So, as much as I want to enjoy tonight, part of me is already wondering what he’s going to try next.”
She snuggled in closer and laid her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, me too.”
“You should check the locket. See if your parenths have another meth—mess—message for you,” came a drunken warble from somewhere by their feet.
“Snuffy? How much have you had to drink?” Breeze asked, ducking her head to peer under the table.
The fat little fuzzball staggered out and gave them a bleary-eyed wave. “I drank enough to finally get the fuzzy taste outta my mouff.”
“Or more accurately, my rotund compatriot has consumed several pints of lager and a shot of tequila, which is a fuck-tonne more than someone his size should even consider imbibing.” A sleekly elegant Siamese cat wandered out from beneath the table, his tail lashing slowly back and forth as he eyed his drinking companion with disapproval. “If he pukes at my place, I’m sending you the cleaning bill.”
“Fair enough,” Breeze agreed. “You’re not drinking, Shaz?”
“This place has outstanding food, but their wine list is entirely fucking inadequate. I’d ruin my palette for weeks if I drank the fermented yak piss they serve here.”
“Careful, kitty. If the wolves hear you saying things like that, they’re likely to take offense,” Connell reminded the familiar. The more he got to know the missing Fern’s feline companion, the more he was appreciating Turd. Though, he’d give the cat credit for peppering his overly refined diction with enough f-bombs to make a nun faint.
The cat arched his back and hissed slightly. “The wolves know better than to mess with me.”
“He’s got a whammy. Really good un, too.” Snuffy explained. “Any physical damage he takes gets refect-refekked uh…bounced back to the dealer of the damage. Cool, huh?”
“Indeed.” Shaz declared rather primly. “Now, if we may return to a previous point, my booze-addled friend’s suggestion was a fucking good one. Why not consult the locket, lady witch?”
Breeze tapped a finger to the locket at her throat. “Because it hasn’t buzzed. No buzz, no news.”
“When was the first time it buzzed?” Connell asked.
“When I found a tiny key in the stuff Baba Yaga sent to me. I put it into the back of the locket. The key disappeared and then I could open it.”
“And the second time?” he prompted her again.
“Was yesterday. I was frustrated because I couldn’t remember everything yet.”
“What were you doing when it buzzed?”
“I was mad. I smacked my hand down on my dresser and…Oh!” She kissed him soundly. “You’re as smart as you are sexy, Connell McLeod.”
“What do I do now?” She asked in a loud enough tone that everyone stopped to look their way.
The locket emitted a soft buzzing noise. “You’re getting extra frosting with your next BJ for that suggestion,” she told him and flicked the clasp open.
* * *
“Today’s battle has been won,
But the war has just begun,
You’ve claimed your place and protected your home,
Soon two more will cease to roam,
First two, then three, the shadows shall face,
And if all prevail, we can return to this place.
This message ends with one last verse,
To see us again you must end the curse.”
Both parents waved to her from their picture inside the locket. “No matter what happens, remember we love you, baby. Always.”
* * *
Everyone had lapsed into silence.
“What does that mean?” Gertie asked softly.
Fisk exhaled and rose to his feet. “It means we’re not done fighting. The Father of Shadows is going to keep trying. He knew tonight was his best chance to win. The coven hasn’t been rebuilt yet. But Breeze held him off because she had all of us with her.”
Everyone cheered, though it wasn’t the rousing chorus of earlier. They all felt the weight of what was coming their way.
“And it sounds like the other two will be coming home soon.”
Shazam-alanga-dingdong cleared his throat, which sounded disturbingly like he was about to hawk up a hairball. “If the fucking pattern holds, then my Fern should be the next one to come back. Her birthday is next month.”
Everyone looked at Breeze, who pointed to her locket, then shrugged. “Don’t look at me, you all have the same information I do, which ain’t much. At least this time, we have an idea who should be showing up, and when.” She shot an annoyed look at the squirrel shifters. “So, remember not to attack the next witch who wanders into town looking confused, okay?”
“We won’t!” They called out in unison, and went back to building peanut butter sandwiches with so many layers they probably should take out building permits.
He made a mental note to organize up some standard patrols, like a neighbourhood watch. That should stop the pixies and squirrels from assaulting anyone else.
“Since we’re talking about this stuff, what about the gulls?” Greg rumbled from across the room. The big bear Shifter had been assigned to watch over the non-combatants, and he was grumpy from having missed out on the fighting.
“The four who have family in or near town have all apologized. In fact, their mothers are making them write personalized apology letters to everyone here. I imagine that’s going to take them a few days. Then, the four of them have agreed to fix the mess they made of our town and the bay,” Breeze said.
That had been part of the deal he’d struck with Gladys. In exchange for getting them to stand down tonight and clean up the bay, the four gull Shifters would be allowed to stay in Wyrding, as long as they didn’t step out of line again.
“Do we know why they did it?” Patty Snaggletuth asked. She and her husband, Pat, had added ties to their matching outfits. If hers hadn’t been trimmed in sequins he wouldn’t have been able to tell the two apart, and he still didn’t know which of them was the lawyer and which was the acco
untant.
Information was something else he’d gotten in exchange for leniency for the gulls. They’d spilled their guts about everything they knew about Shade and the Father of Shadow’s plans. “They were just hired muscle, and until last night, none of them knew the plan was to run everyone out of town. From what I learned, I’d say that Shade was trying to corrupt the land and the ocean around here. He hoped that doing it would make the protective spells unravel faster, and he’d have time to move against the town before the coven reformed.”
“But you made sure that didn’t happen.” Fisk gave him a nod. “Even if you still won’t tell me how. Never knew a Shifter with more than one form, before, either. Don’t suppose you’d like to explain that to me?”
“Sorry mate. Top secret.” The Goddess had been generous in her gifts, but the only one he planned on telling about them was Breeze. His talents were at her command now, including his ability to turn into a leopard seal.
“Speaking of mates, I think it’s time for my mate and me to go home. It’s been a long couple of days, and I could really use some sleep.” Breeze gave him a sidelong look that sent all the blood in his body rushing south. Thankfully, the Goddess hadn’t put him in jeans tonight or he’d be in a right mess.
“Yeah. Sleep. Home. Good idea.” He helped her to her feet, stealing a kiss as he did it.
They said their goodbyes and fled into the night hand in hand. He had planned to drive over, but she shook her head. “That’ll take too long.”
The next thing he knew, they were standing on the porch of her house without a stitch on. “Cheater.”
She flashed him a wicked little smile and raced inside. “You complaining?”
He ran after her. “Hell, no, little witch. I’m all for nudity. In fact, I think we should make it the dress code around here.”
She didn’t run far. He caught up to her just a few feet inside. There was a huge basket of cupcakes on the coffee table, though it was almost lost beneath the insane amount of purple glitter piled on the table around it. Weirdly enough, the whole place smelled like hair spray.
“Who could they be from?” he asked.
“Only one person I know would use that much purple glitter and Aqua Net. Baba Yaga.”
Well, crap. News from Baba Yaga was important enough to postpone his sexcapade plans. “Is there a card?”
Breeze snapped her fingers and a mini cyclone of glitter formed, funnelling the sparkling dust out the open door and into the night. Buried beneath the mountain of glamour glitter was a card in a hot pink envelope. Breeze opened it and read it aloud.
* * *
Dearest Breeze. Congratulations on your victory, and your mating. Your parents would be proud of you. I know you’ll be tempted, but don’t go looking for the others. They must each travel their own path on the journey home, just as you did.
The cupcakes are to replace the ones I destroyed the last time. Enjoy.
Baba Yaga
* * *
“I was prepared for much worse,” he confessed when she’d finished reading.
“Yeah, me too. No 80’s music, either. She was really trying for understated this time around.”
“You okay with what she said?” he asked, pulling her back into his arms.
“I think so. I mean, I’d rather go looking for them, but I understand why I can’t. They won’t have their memories back. If I show up and start telling them they’re destined to protect a place they can’t remember, and oh, by the way, your parents aren’t really dead, they’re going to think I’m crazy. If this is how it has to be, I can wait.” She reached around to pinch his butt. “Besides, I can think of a few ways to pass the time until they show up.”
By the Goddess, he could think of a few things they could be doing, too, and all of them involved copious amounts of nudity. “You. Me. Cupcakes. Frosting. Now.”
She gave a delighted little laugh and darted up the stairs, giving him an eyeful of perfection as she ran. “Sounds like a plan, secret agent man. And I’m pretty sure you promised to bite me at some point.”
Hell yes, he was going to bite her. She was his mate. His to love, cherish, and protect from now until eternity. “The second I’m inside you, you’re getting bitten. You better zap those cupcakes upstairs, because once I get my fangs into you, we’re going to be at it all night.”
She reached the top of the stairs, then turned to smile down at him, and at that moment he understood. The Goddess had one last assignment for him – Breeze. She was his new mission, one that would last for the rest of his life.
“Last chance to run, little witch,” he called as he hit the stairs at a run.
She threw open her arms and laughed. “From you? Never. You’re my fated mate, Connell McLeod, and I’ve learned it’s not smart to try and deny Fate.”
“Goddess I love you,” he declared as he reached her and pulled her into his arms.
“And I love you, too. Now bite me already. We’ve got less than a month before the next member of the coven arrives and all hell breaks loose again.”
“As my wee witch wishes.”
She kissed him and the landing exploded with blue and silver sparks that fell from the ceiling like a dazzling rain. “I already got all my wishes granted. Now, I get to enjoy them.”
Thank you for Reading Too Hexy For Her Broom.
* * *
To check out all the side-splitting books in the Magic and Mayhem Universe, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/
And if you would like to read the book that started all the madness, Switching Hour is FREE!
https://robynpeterman.com/switching-hour/
About the Author
Susan lives out on the Canadian west coast surrounded by open water, dear family, and good friends. She’s jumped out of perfectly good airplanes on purpose and accidentally swum with sharks on the Great Barrier Reef.
* * *
If the world ends, she plans to survive as the spunky, comedic sidekick to the heroes of the new world, because she’s too damned short and out of shape to make it on her own for long.
* * *
To contact her about her books or to arrange end of the world team-ups, you can email her at [email protected].
* * *
For all titles by Susan Hayes, please visit her website:
susanhayes.ca
* * *
To keep up with her latest news, releases, and appearances you can join her Newsletter