by Amy Clipston
He set the birdhouse on the small table on the porch and then pulled open the screen door and walked into the mudroom, where he stilled and listened as Sharon explained how a song leader would start each line and then the rest of the congregation would join in. Then she shared the translation of the words in English. When she began to sing, Jay stepped into the kitchen and stood quietly. Her voice was like a balm to his soul. He took in her beautiful face and lyrical voice.
He knew at that moment that he loved her, and he needed her in his life. God had led him to her, and he prayed for the hundredth time today that she would allow him to be her boyfriend again.
Sharon looked at him, and their gazes locked as she continued to sing. He smiled and raised a hand in greeting, but her expression remained serious.
Then he glanced at the Englishers sitting at the tables, and they all seemed mesmerized by her voice. They listened with what seemed like reverence, as if they were worshipping God as they heard the holy words. He was reminded of what the couple in the store told him about their experience here.
And Jay now saw for himself what Sharon had been trying to tell him—she was glorifying God and sharing the gospel by singing these hymns. She was doing what they were called to do—serving God in all things.
Jay looked at Cal and found him smiling at him. He nodded, and his best friend returned the gesture. Then Cal joined in the singing, which prompted Andrew, Darlene, Alice, and Ruby Sue to join in too.
Sharon turned to Jay, and he gestured for her to follow him outside. She pursed her lips but then slipped away from the group and came toward him.
His body trembled with a mixture of worry and hope as she followed him out to the porch. He hoped he could remember the speech he’d practiced during the ride to her house.
She spun toward him and slammed her hands on her small hips as she glared at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to apologize.” He held up his hands as if to surrender. “You were right. You’re doing nothing wrong by singing ‘Das Loblied’ to the Englishers. I’ve realized you are doing God’s work. I could tell they were moved tonight. The hymn was touching their hearts.”
She lifted one eyebrow. “So now you’ve decided I’m not sinning when I sing?”
“No, you’re not. And I’m sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” He sucked in a breath. “I’ve been so wrong, and I’m embarrassed. The truth is mei daadi was very conservative. But even if he would have disagreed with singing our hymn of praise for Englishers, I realize now he would have been wrong. We’re called to share the gospel.”
She nodded. “I agree.”
“And I’ve missed you. This time without you has been torture, and I’m sorry for hurting you. I want to start over. I want to make it up to you and show you that I’m no longer the critical dummkopp I was.”
He reached for her hands, and she allowed him to take them. “The truth is I love you, Sharon. I can’t imagine my life without you. If you give me another chance, I promise I’ll cherish you and treat you right. I’ll show you that I can do better. I’ll do my best to never hurt you again.”
Her eyes misted as he went on.
“You once asked me if I ever felt led to do something.” He took a deep breath. “I absolutely have. In fact, I’ve felt God leading me to a future with you.”
She took a shuddering breath, and then a tear rolled down her cheek. He released one of her hands, and she quickly wiped the tear away.
He released her other hand and picked up the birdhouse, then handed it to her. “I made you a gift. I was late because I had to wait for the finish to dry. It’s not much, but I thought you might—”
“I love it.” She turned it over in her hands. “It’s the most schee birdhouse I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m so glad you like it. While I made it, I imagined that one day we’ll have a haus of our own. But for now, this one will have to do.”
Another tear fell. “Danki, Jay. It will be beautiful in my garden. I’ve missed you so much.” She gently placed it back on the table, then dabbed her cheek.
“Will you give me another chance?” He searched her eyes.
“Ya, of course.”
“Danki.” He stepped closer, then leaned down and kissed her. When their lips touched, bliss rolled through him, setting his nerve endings aflame. When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers. “Ich liebe dich, Sharon. I’ll cherish you always.”
She smiled up at him. “I love you too. Will you come back inside and sing with us?”
He took her hand in his. “I’d be honored to.”
* * *
Sharon smiled as she sat on the glider beside Jay Sunday afternoon. The rest of their friends surrounded them as they ate chocolate chip cookies and drank iced tea while enjoying the bright, sunny afternoon. She looked out at her father’s green, rolling pastures and listened to the birds singing in nearby trees.
“I think we should expand our singing ministry,” Alice said as she sat on a rocker next to Cal’s.
“What do you mean?” Andrew asked. He’d plopped down on the steps.
“We should invite more people to join us.”
“That’s a gut idea,” Jay said.
Sharon smiled at him. “I agree.” She glanced toward the birdhouse Jay made for her. He’d hung it on a tree before he left Thursday night. The birdhouse was the perfect addition to her rows of colorful flowers. She laughed when she spotted a cardinal sitting on the roof. “Look. There’s a bird on the haus you made.”
Jay glanced at it and smiled. “I’m so glad.”
Sharon leaned her head on his shoulder and breathed in his familiar scent. She’d been so taken aback when Jay appeared in the kitchen Thursday. But that’s when she realized why Cal had been grinning at her—he’d known Jay was going to join them.
After their talk on the porch, Jay had come inside and sung with them. He also stayed after their friends left, and they talked on the porch until late in the evening.
“I’m going to invite Dave to join us,” Alice said. “I think singing would help him heal after what he’s been through.”
“I agree,” Darlene said. “I’ll try to think of more people we can ask.”
“Hey,” Jay whispered in Sharon’s ear, sending a shiver dancing up her back.
She looked up at him. “What?”
“Ich liebe dich,” he said in a low voice.
“I love you too.”
Jay gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and she felt as if she were floating on a cloud. She was so grateful that Martha had been right, that Jay had realized he’d been wrong about her singing ministry.
Most of all, she was grateful that God had led Jay back to her.
Discussion Questions
Jay is furious when he learns Sharon and the rest of their friends are singing an Amish hymn of praise for the Englishers. Do you think his feelings are valid? Why or why not?
Sharon is heartbroken when Jay breaks up with her. Have you ever had your heart broken by someone you loved? How did you cope with your heartbreak? What Bible verses helped you cope?
Jay’s father makes an analogy between Jay’s criticism of Sharon and the way Jay criticizes his own woodworking. Do you think this analogy is valid? Why or why not?
Which character can you identify with the most? Which character seemed to carry the most emotional stake in the story? Jay, Sharon, or someone else?
At the end of the story, Jay realizes he misunderstood the effect singing the Amish hymn for Englishers could have. What do you think happened throughout the story that contributed to his changing his mind?
What role did the friends’ singings play in the relationships throughout the story?
For Her Royal Highness, Princess Lily Belle, with love and kisses
Chapter One
Dave Esh stared down at his plate. As if he needed anything else to dampen his appetite, the mid-June, humid air trapped in the Swarey barn smelled stale.
This was another Sunday, another church service, another meal with the men he’d known all his life. His own father sat across from him as lunchtime conversations swirled all around. Yet he felt as though he sat alone.
“Tomorrow we’ll finish up that wall in Strasburg, and then we have to start on a haus in White Horse,” Dat said. “It’s not far from your schweschder’s farm.”
Dave nodded but kept his eyes focused on the uneaten food on his plate.
“This will be a gut job for you,” Dat continued as if Dave were interested. “Soon you’ll be managing your own crew of brick masons. I think you’re ready to take on a more supervisory role in the company. Before you know it, you’ll be the boss, and I’ll be retired.”
Dave closed his eyes as the familiar, soul-crushing guilt threatened to swallow him whole. He wasn’t worthy to be a member of this congregation let alone a supervisor at his family’s business. He didn’t know why his father still trusted him. Or was he just pretending?
He inwardly sighed. As soon as he’d saved enough money, he’d leave this community behind. That should be sometime this summer, but until then, he was stuck here, drowning daily in the memories of . . . that day.
A new life would never bring total relief from his heartbreak, of course. His punishment would never end, and that’s what he deserved.
“Kaffi?”
Dave looked up to see Alice Blank standing behind his father holding a coffee carafe. Was she smiling at him? Dave glanced over his shoulder to see if someone else was there, but the space was empty. She was smiling at him.
He swallowed against his suddenly dry throat. Alice looked beautiful in a white apron that covered a pale-green dress, which complemented her reddish-brown hair, mostly hidden by her prayer covering. Her eyes? They reminded him of the color mocha.
He’d always been drawn to Alice. They’d been friends since they were in first grade, and their friendship had always seemed natural. He’d sought her out on the playground, and she’d made a point to include him when they played softball.
When they became teenagers, youth group was no different. They always seemed to find each other, and conversation with her was easy and comfortable. She’d been one of his best friends.
Then last year he realized his feelings for her had transformed into more than friendship, and he’d been working up the nerve to ask her father’s permission to date her.
Then the accident happened.
After that, his dream of being Alice’s boyfriend was dashed.
“Dave?” Alice pointed to his empty Styrofoam cup. “Do you want me to fill that?”
“Sure. Danki.” He handed her the cup.
“How are you?”
He shrugged. “I’m all right. How are you?”
Her bright smile somehow grew even brighter as she poured the coffee. “I’m fantastic. It’s a schee day, and we’re blessed to be here.”
“Right.” Dave took the cup from her.
“I’ll see you soon.” Alice turned and moved to the next table.
Dave watched her go. If only—
“You need to be ready early tomorrow morning.”
“What?” Dave turned toward his father, expecting to see a scowl.
But his father merely studied him for a moment, the same old confusion in his eyes. “I said we need to leave early tomorrow. We have to finish that wall before dark because I want to begin our new project on Tuesday.”
Dave sipped his coffee as his father droned on about work. He didn’t care about the business anymore. Couldn’t Dat see that?
When he’d finished what lunch he could stomach, he headed outside, moving past knots of young people discussing their plans. He recalled the days when he’d stand beside Alice as they and their friends decided how they wanted to spend their Sunday afternoon.
Cal King met Dave’s eye, but Dave looked away. At one time he and Cal, along with Jay Smoker, had been best friends. Dave used to be able to tell Cal, in particular, anything, but now . . .
Even if he tried to tell Cal how he felt, he wouldn’t understand. No one would. Not his former friends, not his family. No one could comprehend how Adam’s death had changed him forever. He was alone, and now on Sunday afternoons after church, he headed home, where he would nap or read a book in his room.
He’d just reached his buggy when he heard a female voice calling his name. Surely she was calling another Dave. Why would any woman in their congregation want to talk to him?
He wrenched open the buggy door.
“David Esh! Don’t leave!”
He stilled, then turned to see Alice almost jogging toward him, the ties of her prayer covering fluttering past her shoulders. He gripped the door as he took in her radiant face. Did she have any idea how attractive she was?
Alice gave a little laugh as she approached him. “I’ve been calling and calling, but I guess you were distracted.” She paused and caught her breath. Then she tilted her head and smiled up at him. “Do you have plans for this afternoon?”
Would she ever learn? But he told her the truth. “No, I don’t.”
“Oh, gut.” She gestured behind her, where the others still stood. They were all talking, and he wondered if they knew what Alice was up to.
“We’re going to go sing for Darlene’s onkel who recently underwent a complicated surgery. He’s a widower without any kinner, and he’s much older than her mamm. Would you like to join us?” Her gorgeous brown eyes seemed hopeful, and a mixture of longing and anxiety nearly overcame him.
He glanced past her to see Jay loop his arm around Sharon’s shoulders, and she leaned into his side. During the past couple of church Sundays, he’d noticed the two of them had grown closer. It was obvious they were dating now.
Dave swallowed as he imagined what could have happened last winter if Adam hadn’t died. Perhaps he and Alice would have started dating. Perhaps they would be talking about a future together right now. A family. Children.
He looked down at the ground, shook his head, and fought to remove that painfully unattainable idea from his mind. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
He met Alice’s gaze and found disappointment in her eyes. He’d seen it there every time she’d tried to get him to join the group in some activity. But today that disappointment seemed . . . deeper.
He’d lie anyway.
“I’m tired. I need to rest. I have a busy week coming up at work.”
“Oh.” She seemed like she wanted to say more, but she only gave him a little smile. “Maybe you can join us next time, then.”
Before she could speak again, he climbed into his buggy. “Have a gut week, Alice.”
“You too.” She waved, then turned to leave.
Relief washed over him.
* * *
“What did Dave say?” Sharon asked Alice when she returned to her friends. “Is he meeting us there?”
Alice shook her head. “No. He turned me down again.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at where Dave’s buggy had just disappeared down the driveway, still contemplating the sadness in his face. Dave was so different now. It was as if he’d lost himself the day the accident happened.
He’d always been one of her closest friends. And he used to be happy, always smiling and joking with Cal and Jay. In fact, the three of them were nearly inseparable in school and then youth group, always trying to outdo each other with silly pranks. And Dave’s boisterous laugh was contagious. He was also handsome, with light-blue eyes, light-brown hair, and a friendly face, and he was tall—around six feet, just like Cal and Jay.
For all those reasons, Alice found herself enjoying time with him. They talked about their families and shared their deepest secrets. And she even asked for his advice if she had a problem she couldn’t solve on her own.
But now Dave seemed not just unhappy but broken. She hadn’t seen him smile since the accident, and he’d completely distanced himself from her and all their friends. It broke her hea
rt to see him so miserable—especially since last year she realized she harbored a secret crush on him. But she’d kept her feelings to herself for fear of ruining their friendship.
She’d encouraged Dave to join them for Sunday afternoon activities for months, but each time he’d said no. She was determined to break through the wall he’d built around himself, but how?
Alice looked at Jay. “You’re one of his best freinden, right?”
“Ya.” Jay looked at Cal. “But I’d say Dave’s even closer to you than to me, Cal.”
“And he’s always been mei freind as well,” Alice continued. “Cal, do you have any advice for how I can get him to open up to me?”
He blew out a breath and shook his head as his trademark smile flattened into a thin line. “I don’t have any advice at all. I’m just as lost as you are. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he blows me off. So, to be honest, I gave up.”
Alice studied him. “You gave up on one of your best freinden?”
Cal rubbed his clean-shaven chin and looked away. “Not exactly. It’s just . . .”
“It’s just that he won’t talk to us,” Jay chimed in as he held Sharon’s hand. Last spring, Sharon had admitted to Alice that, with his tall stature, brown eyes, and light-brown hair, Jay had always had her attention. Now their new dating relationship seemed to be going strong.
“But we can’t give up on him,” Sharon said. “He’s our freind. He needs us.” Jay gazed down at Sharon, and something reflecting how close they’d become passed between them. Along with Darlene Bender, Sharon had been Alice’s best friend since they started school together when they were all seven years old. Alice had always thought Sharon was pretty with her light-brown hair and baby-blue eyes. No wonder Jay had been attracted to her, too, but his obvious care for Sharon made Alice’s chest tighten. Would anyone ever look at her that way? She’d thought maybe Dave . . .
“I agree,” Alice said. “I’m worried about him, and we can’t give up. I don’t know how, but I’m going to get him to come back to us.”
She turned to Darlene. “Are you ready to go sing for your onkel?”