by Amy Clipston
“I don’t think so. Do you want me to take you home?”
“No, but danki.” She started up the porch steps.
“Darlene.”
She spun and faced him.
“We can go.” He jammed this thumb toward his horse and buggy.
She huffed a breath. “No. We need to sing.”
Darlene stepped into the mudroom and followed the voices to the small family room off the kitchen, where her friends were already standing in front of a frail man with graying brown hair and a matching beard, sitting in a recliner. His shirt and trousers seemed to hang on him—just like Mamm’s dresses hung on her. His skin had a yellowish tone, and his face was gaunt. Cancer wasn’t the only enemy.
Hadassah sat in a wing chair beside Enos and held his hand. “These young folks are going to sing for you. Isn’t that nice?”
The man nodded, and his brown eyes looked misty.
Darlene held her breath for a moment as a vision of her mother struggling to stand and walk filled her mind. She should be with her.
Hadassah looked at Sharon. “Would you please introduce your freinden?”
“Of course.” Sharon shared their names, and they all greeted Enos. Then she asked him, “Do you have a favorite hymn?”
“Ya. ‘It Is Well with My Soul.’” His voice sounded tired and weak.
“That’s a favorite of mine too,” Sharon said before pulling four copies of the Ausbund, the traditional Amish hymnal, and four copies of Heartland Hymns, a German and English songbook, from her tote bag. “We can share the hymnals.”
Andrew took one of them and quickly found the song.
Sharon cleared her throat and then began to sing. “When peace like a river attendeth my way . . .”
Darlene joined in, trying her best to concentrate on the lyrics instead of her regret at not being home. She glanced up at Andrew, and when he winked at her, confusion smacked her in the face.
What did Andrew’s sudden attention mean? Had he decided she needed his pity? No thank you.
They sang four more hymns and then drank coffee and ate apple pie with Hadassah and Enos before heading outside.
“Danki again for coming to visit,” Hadassah told them as they stood on the back porch and said good-bye. “It really meant a lot to us.”
“Gern gschehne,” Jay said.
“We’ll come back soon,” Sharon said, a promise Darlene knew she intended the group to keep.
Hadassah waved and then headed inside.
“We’re hosting another supper at mei haus Saturday night,” Sharon announced as they walked to the buggies. “I hope you all can come and sing.”
“I’ll come,” Alice said with a nod, and Dave nodded too.
“You know I’ll be there.” Jay took Sharon’s hand in his.
“Sounds gut. I’ll see you all then.” Cal climbed into his buggy and then guided his horse toward the road.
Alice hugged Darlene. “I’m so glad you came today.”
“Give our love to your mamm.” Sharon hugged Darlene next.
Darlene waved good-bye to Dave and Jay and then followed Andrew to his buggy.
“I think Enos and Hadassah enjoyed our visit,” Andrew said once they were settled on the seat and headed home.
“I do too.”
“How are things at your parents’ store?”
“Gut.” She nodded. Why was he asking so many questions?
“Do you run the store every day? I’ve worked in our showroom at the store once or twice when Dat was in a bind, but I’m not that gut with customers.”
She turned toward him, and he gave her a warm smile. She realized he was truly interested in hearing about her work at the family business, and that baffled her. And she didn’t see pity in his face at all.
“I take turns with mei dat and mei schweschder. Sometimes Biena stays in the haus and cares for Mamm, and I run the store. Other times, Dat runs it while Biena and I watch over Mamm or do chores. When Mamm has an appointment, Dat always goes with her, and Biena and I take care of everything else.”
“Do you like working there?”
“Ya. I enjoy talking with the customers.”
“What are your favorite items to sell?”
She took in his kind expression and realized something else. She’d never heard Andrew talk this much. Normally his gregarious cohorts overshadowed him.
He gave her a sideways glance and raised his eyebrows again. “Why are you staring at me?”
“You’re very talkative today, but you’re normally the quiet one.”
“Oh.” He halted the horse at a red light and then faced her. She was almost certain she spotted a pink blush on his cheeks. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, it’s a gut thing.”
“That’s a relief.” His smile was back. “So tell me. What are your favorite items to sell in the store?”
“Hmm.” She tapped her finger against her chin. “I suppose it’s the greeting cards. We have some lovely ones. I enjoy ordering them from the vendor and stocking the racks. I also enjoy selling art supplies. Lots of Amish women like to make their own Christmas cards, for instance. I love it when they bring in samples of their work.” She settled back in the seat, and once again, she felt relaxed—even if she shouldn’t. How did Andrew manage to make her feel comfortable?
They spent the remainder of the ride to her house discussing the funny questions English customers sometimes asked about the Amish. It was good to laugh, and when Andrew’s horse pulled the buggy up her driveway, she was disappointed. She’d love to continue riding around with Andrew, discussing mundane things. What a welcome distraction his company had been.
But that didn’t mean she could stay away from home like this again. Not when her parents needed her, no matter what they said.
Andrew halted the horse at the top of the driveway and faced her. “Danki for riding with me today. I had a great time.”
“I did too.” An awkward silence filled the buggy, and she cleared her throat as she pushed open the door. “Have a gut night.” She climbed out.
“Darlene,” he called as she closed the door.
“Ya.” She peeked through the window, and his expression was tentative, almost nervous.
“I hope you have a gut evening with your family and that your mamm is feeling better.”
“Danki. Please tell your folks and your bruder hello for me.” She stepped away from the buggy and waved before climbing the porch steps and entering the house. She found her father sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of her homemade soup. His dark eyes looked so tired, and his smile seemed halfhearted as he looked up at her.
“Hi, Dat,” she said, glancing around the kitchen. “Is Biena home?”
“Not yet.” He wiped his beard with a paper napkin. “How was your day?”
“Gut.” She dropped into a chair across from him. “How’s Mamm?” She braced herself for his response.
Dat sighed and looked down at his bowl. “She was too weak to get out of bed today, but she did eat a little bit without getting krank.”
More guilt, hot and sharp, sliced through her chest. She should have insisted on staying home today to help him. And how could she have enjoyed her time with Andrew, no matter how nice he was? She pressed her lips together.
He met her gaze. “Did you go singing?”
“We did. But I should have been here.”
Dat shook his head as he reached across the table for her hand. “Darlene, I’ll tell you this as often as I have to until you understand. You and Biena deserve time to be like the other young folks in our community. And you work so hard. You need breaks like today.”
“But we’re family.” A few tears escaped her eyes.
“Don’t cry, mei liewe. Everything will be fine. God is in control, and he is the Great Physician. He’ll take care of your mamm. Hold on to your faith.”
Darlene wiped her eyes with a napkin as her father’s words echoed in her mind. She would try to hold on to th
e faith she still had, but some days it felt as cracked and fragile as her heart.
Chapter Five
On Friday afternoon, the sound of hammers banging and saw blades whirling filled the workshop as Andrew strode toward his father’s office, and the familiar heaviness of sawdust and the pungent odor of stain washed over him.
Concerns about Darlene had haunted him all week while he finished the two nightstands for the bedroom suite. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get her out of his mind.
Jay had called him yesterday to confirm that Sharon was hosting a supper and singing at her house tomorrow night, and Andrew yearned to know if Darlene was planning to attend. But he didn’t want to ask Jay. He did, however, want to give Darlene a ride to Sharon’s house so he could talk to her alone. The only way to find out if she was going, though, was to ask her. And he’d finally decided to call her at the store.
When he reached the office, he leaned against the doorframe and waited while his father completed a phone call.
“That’s right. I’ll send a truck out for the supplies tomorrow. Thanks, Ron.” Dat hung up. “Andrew. How are those nightstands coming along?”
“Almost done.” Andrew brushed his hands over his trousers. “May I use the phone?”
“Of course.” Dat stood and pointed to the desk. “Who do you need to call?”
“Just a freind.”
“Okay.” Dat gave him a knowing smile. “I’ll go out to the shop so you have some privacy.”
Andrew ignored the teasing in his father’s grin and slipped the local phone book from the bottom drawer of the desk. Then he looked up the number for the store. He just hoped Darlene was working there today, not inside the house doing chores. His cheeks warmed as he dialed the number.
“Please answer, Darlene,” he whispered as the phone rang.
“Thank you for calling Bird-in-Hand Dry Goods. How may I help you?”
Andrew breathed out a sigh of relief as her voice rang through the phone. “Hi, Darlene, this is—”
“I’m sorry, but this is Biena.”
“Oh.” Andrew squeezed his eyes shut as humiliation shook his confidence. They were sisters, so of course they sounded alike! “Is, uh, Darlene available?”
“Ya, she is. May I tell her who’s calling?”
“It’s Andrew.”
“Oh, Andrew! Hang on a moment.”
Andrew dropped into his father’s chair and listened to commotion and muffled voices on the other end of the line.
“Hi, Andrew.” Darlene’s voice was radiant, like the sunshine spilling in through the window. “How is your day going?”
“It’s going well. I’ve made a lot of progress on that bedroom suite I told you about on Sunday.”
“Oh, nice.”
“So you and Biena are both at the store today? Does that mean your mamm is having a better day?”
“Ya, she is. She was sitting on the back porch when I checked on her earlier.”
A pleasant warmth sifted through him. “That’s great news. I’m so froh to hear it.”
“Danki.”
He leaned back in the chair and gathered all his courage to share the true reason for his call. “I spoke to Jay, and he confirmed Sharon and her mother are hosting a supper at their haus tomorrow evening.”
“Oh, ya. She mentioned that on Sunday.”
“I was wondering if you’re planning to go, and if so, I thought maybe I could pick you up.” He held his breath, waiting for her response.
“Oh.” She hesitated, and Andrew covered his face with his free hand.
This was a mistake. I never should have—
“Danki for offering. That would be nice.”
Andrew released the breath he’d been holding and sat up straight. “Wunderbaar. I’ll be there around four. Sharon always asks the guys to be there early enough to help set up.”
“Perfect. I can help with the meal prep. Oh, please hold on a moment.”
Andrew heard a whooshing noise, as if she put her hand over the receiver, and then muffled voices again.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” she said. “A group of Englishers just came into the store, and mei schweschder needs my help. Danki for calling. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”
“Have a gut day.” Andrew hung up and then clapped his hands together as his lips spread into a wide grin. Darlene said yes! She was going to ride to the supper and singing with him.
“Looks like your phone call went well.”
Andrew turned to find his father in the doorway, smirking. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.” Dat gestured toward the phone. “Who was that?”
“I told you. A freind.” Andrew started toward the door.
“Sounds like she’s more than a freind.”
“I need to get back to work.” Andrew moved past him.
“Andrew.”
Pressing his lips together, Andrew turned toward his father. “What?”
“I’m glad to see you dating.”
“I’m not dating, Dat.” Andrew pointed toward the shop. “I have to get back to those nightstands if you want me to make the deadline.”
As he made his way to his work stall, his father’s words sank into his bones. Would he like to date Darlene?
The answer was as clear as the cloudless summer sky. Yes, he would like to date her. But would she want anything more than friendship with him?
Only time would tell.
* * *
As soon as the English customers left, Darlene returned to the stool behind the counter and tried not to smile, but that was a lost cause. Hearing from Andrew had been a pleasant surprise, especially since throughout the past week she’d found herself recalling their conversation on Sunday.
When he’d asked her to ride with him to Sharon’s house, she’d been so stunned that she wasn’t sure how to respond. While she’d decided she did want to spend more time with Andrew, she didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. After all, she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend.
Not that he wanted to date her.
Biena leaned forward and grinned as she rested an elbow on the counter, her chin on her palm. “What did Andrew want?”
“He reminded me that Sharon and her mamm are hosting a supper and singing tomorrow night.” Darlene folded her arms over her chest. “And he offered to pick me up and take me there.”
“Ooh!” Biena stood up and clapped. “I think he likes you! Maybe he’ll ask Dat’s permission to date you.”
“Stop. He’s not interested in dating me.” Darlene hopped down and crossed to the greeting card section, where she began straightening what didn’t need to be straightened.
“Why do you think that?”
Darlene glanced over her shoulder to where her sister now stood right behind her. “For one thing, I’m sure he realizes I’m not looking for a boyfriend. It’s not a gut time. I’m too busy working here, sharing all the chores with you because Mamm can’t manage any, and helping care for her.”
Biena grabbed Darlene’s shoulder and spun her around. “Are you narrisch? Andrew is such a nice guy, and he’s handsome too. Why would you miss an opportunity to date someone like him?”
“What about Mamm and Dat?” Darlene asked as frustration simmered in her gut. “They need us.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t date. They fully expect us to meet people, fall in love, get married, and build families of our own. We’ll always help Mamm when she needs us—even when we’re dating or married.”
“No one is getting married, Biena. Andrew is just giving me a ride.” She huffed out a breath. “Right now I’m focused on the family I already have. That’s all.”
“You really should consider—”
The chiming of the bell over the front door announced customers.
Thank goodness! Darlene hustled toward the door as two more English women, about her age, entered.
“Hello! Welcome to Bird-in-Hand Dry Goods. May I
help you find something?” Darlene asked.
“Yes,” one of them said. “We’re looking for Amish dolls.”
“Let me show you what we have.”
As Darlene led them to the toy aisle, she breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t need her sister’s lectures. After all, Andrew was just a friend. And dating anyone would only complicate her life, which was complicated enough right now.
She just hoped Andrew really wasn’t looking for more than friendship with her.
* * *
“It’s okay, Mamm.” Darlene held back tears as she picked up a clump of her mother’s hair from the bathroom floor Saturday afternoon. “It’ll grow back. I’m sure of it.”
“I’m just so tired, Darlene.” Mamm’s voice was weak and raspy. “I know I seemed better yesterday, but it never lasts. I want to sleep all the time. This disease and the chemo . . . I know the Lord has a purpose for everything, but I don’t know how much longer I can be strong.”
Mamm’s words stabbed at her heart.
“We have to have faith and trust in the Lord.” Darlene repeated Dat’s and Biena’s words as a messy knot of sorrow nearly choked her. “Let me help you back to bed.”
“I don’t think I can make it.” Mamm sat down on the lid of the commode and held on to the sink. Then she stared down at the lap of her white nightgown. “I’ll just stay here.”
Darlene held out her trembling hand as tears filled her eyes. “Mamm, I can get you to bed. Just take my hand.”
“Darlene,” Biena said from the hall. “Andrew is here.”
Darlene looked at her sister. “He’s here now?”
“Andrew Detweiler?” Mamm’s question came out in a hoarse whisper as she looked up at Darlene.
“Ya.” Biena smiled at Mamm. “He’s giving her a ride to one of Sharon’s suppers for English visitors.” She turned back to Darlene. “It’s four.” She waved toward the kitchen. “Go.”
Darlene shook her head with such force that the ribbons of her prayer covering fanned her face. “No.”
Mamm touched Darlene’s hand. “Go with Andrew. Have fun.”
“She’s right,” Biena said. “You should go.”
“I can’t leave.” Darlene nearly barked her conviction, then took Mamm’s hand. “It’s more important that I’m here with my family.”