“They are only friends.”
“Doesn’t look like it to me.”
“Chase Brighton, they are coming over here, you had better behave or you will ruin any chance you do have left.”
The two of them approached, his arm around Elle’s shoulder. I tried to pull it together, but I hated seeing another man touching her.
Claire stood up to give him a big hug.
“How long has it been?” Claire asked him.
“Way too long. It’s good to see you.”
Elle smiled brightly beside him. “Everyone, this is my best friend from home, Mark. This is Brant, Ewan, Stixx, Chase, and his little girl, Ivy.”
Mark reached out his hand to me last. “It’s great to meet you, Chase. I’m a huge fan of the band and I’m so glad that things worked out with Elle getting to work with you.”
“Nice to meet you too.” My voice was gruff, but it was all I could manage, and Claire seemed to sense that.
“Elle, Mark is going to take you out for lunch.”
“Well, it makes sense now why I wasn’t allowed to eat,” Elle replied.
“We have another show tonight,” I stated. “What about Ivy?”
“I think that considering Mark has come all this way to see Elle, maybe we can do things a little differently, don’t you think? I’ll happily take another night off to watch her.”
She shot me a death glare that I didn’t bother trying to argue.
“Of course,” I nodded.
“You two had better get going,” Claire urged them on.
As I watched Elle walk off with Mark, my heart sank. I barely felt the smack Claire laid across my chest.
“I thought you were going to pull it together.”
“I tried.”
“Chase…”
I looked down and into the eyes of my little girl. If I focused on her, maybe it would distract me from my sadness.
“Are you hungry?”
She nodded, so I dished out a small portion for her. I held back; my appetite gone. Claire sat back down beside me and leaned in close so that only I could hear her.
“I invited Mark because I think Elle needed a little pick-me-up. Maybe it’s just me, but I think she is a great part of this team, and good for you. I thought maybe if she got a bit of down time, that maybe she wouldn’t be thinking about leaving once the tour is over. Chase, she just needs more time to realize that she can’t live without you.”
I nodded and gave her a little squeeze. “I guess we’ll see. Now, you’d better grab some food before it is all finished.”
She began spooning portions of food onto both of our plates. “You too, hun, we can’t have you losing any more energy. You’ve got to be ready to go on that stage tonight.”
I loved Claire for what she was doing to try and keep Elle with us, to get her back to me, but what if she was never supposed to be mine in the first place?
Elle
Dinner for the two of us had always been low key, and hundreds of miles from home it was no different. We’d taken a cab into the middle of town, where the streets were bustling with people. We walked around window shopping as I listened to stories of home, of what our friends were up to. I did try my best to keep in touch with everyone at home, but sometimes it was difficult, so it was really nice to be able to hear the latest news. I had missed Mark, and the familiarity of our city. I would admit, though, that since I had been on this tour, when I’d had been given the chance to explore, I did enjoy trying to find something unique about each place.
“Do you see anything you would like for lunch?” he asked as we strolled along.
“Why don’t we keep with our tradition of…”
“Chinese food,” we both said in unison.
We continued walking along until we found a little hole-in-the-wall Chinese food store that was packed with people, and we both agreed that this place must be good with how busy it was. Mark ordered way too many items off of the list, as he always did. Pausing only to grab coffees at the next shop over, with a large bag in hand, we walked around until we came across what I guessed was the town square until we found a bench to sit and have lunch on. Mark put some space between us, turning toward me, and began pulling out round black containers full of food.
“This is way too much.” I laughed.
“It’s a habit, you know I usually live on leftovers. Unfortunately, they will have to be your leftovers this time because I get back on a plane tomorrow. Dig in.”
He handed me a fork and we each picked up one of the containers, eating in silence for a while. We people watched, stealing a glance at each other every now and again. It felt good to just be there. Switching containers with me, Mark was the one to break our silence first.
“So, what’s going on?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can say without a doubt, though, that I miss home and all of you a whole lot.”
“Don’t change the subject. I meant with you and Chase.”
My mouth dropped open slightly. Though I knew to expect his usual direct approach, I was sure he could have figured things out on his own. There was no us.
“There is nothing to talk about; let’s just enjoy our food.”
“Yeah, that’s not true, and you know it. Did you honestly not see the look on his face when I had my arm around you?” He laughed.
When I didn’t answer, he continued, “You can take it from me, he looked just about ready to rip my arms off.”
I shook my head, my food losing all appeal. “It wasn’t meant to be, that’s all, Mark. We’re just too different.”
“Because he is a rock god? Well, I’ve only just met the guy, but he looked pretty normal to me. Besides, I would put money on the fact that his little girl keeps him grounded. There are always going to be challenges, Elle.”
“My face was plastered all over the tabloids. And who knows what other dirt they managed to find out about me – I couldn’t bring myself to look after the initial shock wore off.”
He studied me for a moment. “Babe, there isn’t any dirt on you. Your parents were great people, your aunt was wonderful. You went to university and you are a great person. They were only interested because Chase is so popular. I saw the posts and the comments, and, Elle, sometimes people are just jealous pricks. Whether you love a rock star or an everyday guy. I do know how much it all bothered you.” He packed up the leftovers back into the bag and gathered our garbage on the other side of him before sliding closer to me.
“I say all of this will love, so please understand I don’t mean to hurt you, but do you think that you will still be news after some time has passed? The bigger question, though, is have you taken a moment to think about how Chase must be feeling? He’s finally found a woman as amazing as you, and then because of something that is not at all in his control, you run away as fast as you can?”
His words stung, but he wasn’t wrong. I was scared. Leaning my head over to rest on his shoulder, tears welled up in my eyes and snaked their way down my cheeks.
“What if he breaks my heart?” I whispered.
“But what if he doesn’t? What if you’ve pushed the right man for you away because of your fear?”
“I tried to keep things simple between us, tried not to get too close.”
“And how did that work out for you two?”
“It didn’t.”
It’s not that I hadn’t had some of these thoughts already but hearing them from my best friend managed to quiet my own conflicting emotions down a little bit.
Mark picked up our garbage and stood, striding over to a nearby garbage. When he returned, he pulled me to my feet and pulled me into a hug.
“I’m not trying to change your mind. All I’m saying is that maybe you need to give it a little bit more thought. You know your aunt said something that has always stuck with me. She said that the possibilities in life are endless, we only have to believe that we are worthy of them. Elle, I’ve never known anyone who
is more worthy of finding someone who makes you happy than you. Whether or not that is Chase, only your heart can tell you that. But if what you are feeling for him is still there in your heart, I would say you owe it to yourself and to him to see where it goes. You’ll have to grow some thicker skin to handle the rest. But is he not worth that?”
“What if he has already decided to cut his loses?”
He held out an arm to me and we began to walk down the sidewalk.
“I think the fire burning inside of him for you is still going strong. Claire tells me that Chase has been writing like crazy lately. You won’t know where you stand if you don’t’ sit down and talk to him. Promise me that you will do that.”
I nodded and he gave me a squeeze.
“Thank you, Mark.”
“No need to thank me, babe. You know I’m always here to help iron things out when they feel all jumbled up for you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Elle
After I had said goodbye to Mark, quite frankly I was mentally drained, but I knew that if I didn’t push myself to deal with all that was on my mind, I would put it off and then chicken out. I had the best intentions of waiting up for Chase after the show and seeing if he would sit down and talk with me, but he must have been out late doing press stuff because when I woke, it was early the next morning and the bus was quiet except for the muted sounds of us on the highway heading to our next location - New Orleans. I’d always dreamt of going there. I hoped that we might have time to explore a little bit.
I dozed on the couch until Ivy woke and insisted that we cuddle and watch some cartoon. The bus had stopped by then. I was pretty sure that Chase was still on board because his door was closed, so I took a few minutes to freshen myself up before returning to Ivy. When he finally emerged, it was late morning and he was pulling on a t-shirt as he walked from his room.
“Good morning,” I greeted him with a smile. “There’s coffee ready there for you.”
“Hey. I’m in desperate need of this, thank you.”
“Daddy, can you come watch cartoons with us?”
He frowned. “Sweetie, I wish I could but me and the guys need to head to sound check for a little bit. I will be back to have dinner with you before the show tonight, okay?”
She grinned at him and jumped into his waiting arms.
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too.” He kissed her head and set her down and then she came running back to the couch.
“I’ll be right back,” I murmured to her before standing and stepping closer to him.
“Chase?”
He looked over to me with those intense eyes, completely focused on me. It made me shiver a little, and I hoped that he would not notice.
“How was the visit with your friend?” he asked with a slight frown, just enough for me to wonder if he really was jealous.
“Mark has been my best friend for so long. I missed him terribly. I can’t believe he and Claire surprised me like that. I don’t know how you guys go for so long away from home.”
“We are getting closer to the end now, but it’s not easy. The only thing that makes this really manageable for me is the fact that my best friends are with me. Well, I had better get moving.”
He tipped back his cup to get the last of his coffee and rinsed out the cup.
“Uh actually, Chase, I was wondering if maybe you would have some time tonight after the show to talk?”
He nodded slowly. “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”
I could see apprehension in his eyes. He had no idea which way this conversation was going to go. Frankly, neither did I and that scared the hell out of me.
“I think there is quite a bit more than we can get into now.”
He glanced at his watch. “Shit, I wish I had more time, but I have to run.”
I nodded. “Later is probably better anyway.”
“Okay, I’ll see you around dinner time. Bye, lovebug,” he called to Ivy as he headed off of the bus.
It was difficult to keep my thoughts focused on Ivy and not on all of the possibilities that could arise with the conversation to come. In pushing Chase away so suddenly, I’d only been trying to do what was right, to make things easier on him, to eliminate the possibility of negative publicity. But in reality, I’d only been hurting the both of us. I wanted so badly to go back to when it was just he and I. There was no one judging us, no one saying that I wasn’t good enough. Could I handle whatever the paparazzi threw at me if I stayed? I wasn’t sure. What I did know was that no matter how much I wanted to try and deny it, I was drawn to him like no other man I had ever known.
Ivy was pulling a doll from the drawer under her bed as I finished stirring the pot of stew I had prepared for dinner when I heard the door of the bus open. My heart beat a little faster with a small bit of hope spreading through me, though my shoulders held the tension of having to wait for a little while longer until we could be alone. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, I could only hope that he would hear me out and give it some thought.
I reached for a couple of bowls to dish out dinner and called out to him.
“I swear, it’s like you could smell it from the bar. Luckily, you’re just in time for some stew, if you’re interested.”
“Aww, now isn’t that sweet of you Ms. Molly Homemaker,” a voice thick with derision replied.
My eyes shot over to see a woman standing there in dirty ragged clothes.
I grabbed Ivy and pulled her behind me.
“Who are you and what do you want?”
Looking closer, past the dirt, I recognized her.
“Wait, you’re that woman from the bathroom that night at the club,” I murmured.
“Glad I made an impression,” she sneered.
“What do you want?”
“You didn’t listen to me about Chase, I see.”
Rolling my eyes, I replied, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“I’m not stupid, you’re playing house here on the bus, waiting for lover boy to come home.”
“I’m working. I’m the nanny, though I am sure you know that. Look, you really can’t be in here. Please get off the bus so that you don’t get into any trouble with security.”
“Screw you!” she spat.
“Well, then I ask again: what do you want?”
“My baby. I’m not leaving without her.”
Oh my god, what? My mind was reeling. Could she really be Ivy’s mother?
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen, Jessica.”
Her hand moved to the pocket of her hoodie, and she pulled out a small, silver gun.
“He told you about me, did he? I bet you didn’t get the whole story though. I’m not going to let him win this time. This time I win.”
Her already shaky hand began swinging the gun around erratically.
“Whoa, okay,” I held up a hand. “There’s no need to get excited. If you’re the mom, I can’t argue that with you.”
I purposely left Ivy’s name out of the conversation, trying to limit the fear that this little girl was already experiencing.
“I just want my baby,” Jessica insisted.
A flash of a memory entered my mind. Ivy and I had been playing hide and seek a few days ago and Ivy had found the best hiding spot and it took forever for me to find her. It was worth the chance at keeping her from Jessica.
“Will you give me a moment with her to gather a couple of her things to bring with her and to say goodbye?”
She nodded, pointing the gun directly at me. “Yeah, okay, but hurry up. No funny business.”
I kept my eyes on Jessica as I lowered to Ivy’s level.
“I’m scared, Ewlle.” I could see the tears in her eyes.
“I know, and that’s okay. Everything will be fine,” I tried to reassure her, pulling her into my arms.
There was a bang outside, and I looked up to see Jessica moving toward the front of the bus to check what it was. It would b
e my only chance to save Ivy. I rested my lips against her ear.
“Listen, sweetheart, this is very important. Do you remember the super secret hiding place you found the other day?”
She nodded.
“I need you to go there and be quiet like a mouse. And you can’t come out until you hear me, or Daddy, call your name. Can you do that?”
Again, she nodded. I squeezed her tightly before standing and putting myself back in front of Ivy.
“Go.”
Ivy ran off, Jessica turning in time to catch a glimpse as she disappeared from view. Her eyes widened in surprise.
“Where’s she going? What did you say to her?”
I had to stall. “She went to grab her favourite doll.”
“Okay; but hurry up.”
“You were right,” I stated.
“About what?” she sneered.
“About Chase. I didn’t listen to you.”
She began to pace. “Yeah, I saw you getting cozy with him on the pier. You’re a fool.”
The pier? A sick feeling came over me. She had been there; it must have been her that I felt was watching me. I had to try to play her game, give her that satisfaction of being right.
“You’re right. I should have known better than to think that I could have Chase. He used me and left me.”
She laughed, a creepy sounding laugh. “Good. I hope you learned your lesson. Chase Brighton is a piece of shit.”
Her demeanour began to change, fidgeting and pacing, her movements more erratic the longer Ivy was out of sight. And then she snapped like a rubber band.
“Where did she go?”
I guess the game was up. “You didn’t think I was going to hand her over to you, did you?”
“You BITCH!” she screeched.
Jessica took a step closer, aiming the gun at me.
“You’re going to regret pissing me off, lady. Give me my daughter!”
“No. I happen to love that little girl with all of my heart and I would do anything to keep her safe. You say you are her mother, but you are the one waving a gun around. I doubt she would be safe with you,” I stated as calmly as I could.
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