by Dan Davis
He smiled as if he was being understanding, though he was deeply disappointed that he would not be having sex with her.
“Stay with me tonight,” Alina said with her mouth full of pasta, not looking up. “Survive the night, at least, if they try this thing.”
“Are you sure?” Ram said. “Thank you for—”
“It is no solution,” Alina said, cuffing the tomato sauce from her lips. “If this plan to break you is true, as the drivers say, if Mael is denied on one night, he will get you on another. We have seen this. Many years now, we have seen this.”
“He’ll just have stay with you every night, eh, Alina?” Te said, nudging Sifa who grinned. “Maybe you should get married.”
Alina did not smile. “If not in the night, Mael will get you somewhere else. The steam room, the ice baths, the counseling rooms, medical, the corridors. It will not end unless something happens. Something must change. You both know this. We all know this.”
“What can we do, then?” Sifa said. “We don’t want you to get killed, Ram. Samira was bad enough. Even though you’re not really, you know, one of us.”
She was right, he had no reason to be there. Still, hearing her say it did make him feel bad.
Alina kept her voice low but the tone of it made Ram's hair stand on end. “Perhaps it is time that I destroy him.”
“No,” Sifa whispered, horrified.
Te leaned in, face darker than usual while he muttered. “Alina, you'll bloody kill each other.”
“And where will that leave humanity?” Sifa whispered, her voice an angry hiss. “The people on Earth, the colonies, maybe all life on our home planet for all we know. You need to save yourself for the Orb fight. As much as I dislike to admit it, if it is not you fighting the Wheelhunter, we must have Mael as Subject Beta. We need you both. Humanity needs you both.”
“Perhaps I will crush Mael’s skull before he sees me coming,” Alina whispered, staring at her hands, still holding her cutlery. “I would need some sort of weapon stronger than his skull, however, which makes this plan difficult to carry out. I could obtain a bone saw from the surgical section or someone could fetch it for me.”
“Do not,” Sifa warned.
“This is crazy, why don't the bosses step in to help me out?” Ram asked, lowering his voice. “If Milena knows and the drivers know then why doesn't Director Zuma and that guy Zhukov and whoever else step in and stop it? Are they willing to let me die?”
Te shrugged. “Seems crazy, sure, but that's the way they are. They're into the whole Techno-primitivism thing. If every one of us gets killed in the ludus, by each other, then they would know that whoever is left at the end is the most worthy and should be the one put forward for the final fight. Director Zuma is the one pushing it. It’s the ultimate meritocracy. They're willing to sacrifice individuals if the mission succeeds. We're all expendable. And I hate to say it mate but you most of all. For Zuma and the rest of them, the end always justifies the means.”
“For all of us, subjects included,” Sifa said, nodding. “We have to think that way, do we not? When one considers just what that end is, what it could be.”
“That’s right,” Te said. “Thinking anything else is just wishful thinking. It’s childish.”
“No,” Alina said. “No, I do not think this. Even if our fate would be to become extinct, it does not absolve us of the sins carried out by the leaders of UNOP. The lives destroyed, the Artificial Persons and the cloning and the experiments on thousands of nonconsenting people all over the world.”
“What Artificial Persons?” Ram asked but Te spoke over him.
“We have to be alive in order to have any ethics at all,” Te said. “At least if we win there will be humans around to feel guilty, to be guilty about the things we did in order to survive. We can grow into a better species but only if we are capable of killing that creature.”
“We will become better than we are by behaving worse and worse every year? Why even bother to keep us alive if we act as robots? Do you think I should let him kill Rama Seti, would that be for the best? You people disgust me.” She took a deep breath and climbed from her seat. “Come now,” Alina said to Ram and strode out of the mess hall.
“Do not worry,” Sifa said to Ram as he got up to follow, shoveling as much pasta and bread in as he could. “She is often this way. On and off, friend, enemy. Reasonable, emotional. She is not a stable person. Another day or three and she will be well again. You will see.”
“Sure,” Ram said, staring down at her.
Was it better to lock himself into an enclosed space with an unstable woman or risk being attacked by a gang of lunatics intent on disabling him?
Just then, Mael and Eziz and the others began streaming to their rooms and the other rooms with open doors showed nothing but dark masses in the shadows. They were arguing, laughing, shoving each other’s massive bodies as they did so.
Ram quickly followed Alina to the barracks and into her room as the lights lowered in the communal area and closed her door behind him.
“What happens now?” Ram said, sitting on the edge of the bed, folding his hands in his lap. He hoped she would want to go to sleep.
“Now?” Alina said, pulling a mound of blankets from the bins underneath her bed. “Please remove your clothes.”
She tossed the blankets on the floor and stood before him with her hands on her hips.
Ram knew what she expected. She was not exactly his type. Her pale face was bony, with large features, none of which were especially feminine. The blonde hair on her head had regrown from a recent shaving but it was still so short it could not be grasped, not even by normal sized hands. And her body was a hulking great masculine machine. A lumpen, veined, swollen mass of muscle on muscle. Not even simply a male body, it was close to masculinity personified. The upper body was broad, her pectorals were vast slabs. She had no width to her hips but her thighs rippled with musculature.
And yet, Ram did want to have sex with her. As far as he knew he had little in the way of homosexual tendencies but she was there before him, offering herself to him and he wanted her. Was it simply the fact that she had female genitals? Or, at least, he assumed she did. With the figure-hugging nature of her clothing, it certainly looked like it. Was that all Ram needed, then, he wondered? Anything vaguely human shaped would do, so long as it had a vagina? Perhaps it was the fact of his loneliness and need for comfort and for protection that was directing him to seek solace wherever it was offered. It was absurd, really, that he would not entertain doing the same with one of the men in the ludus.
It was a shame that she did not have any breasts at all. That would have been nice.
The thoughts rushed through his mind while he glanced up and down her body but Ram's hesitation was evident to Alina, who was prepared for it.
“I am sure that this is not the kind of body that you would seek under normal circumstances,” Alina said. “And that you want Sifa, of course.”
Ram began to object that he did not know what she was talking about but she hushed him up.
“She is a beauty,” Alina said, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Ram. “Everyone wants to have intercourse with Sifa, that's why she was famous in the first place.”
“She was?” Ram said. “IRL? I mean, back on Earth?”
Alina shuffled herself closer to Ram so that their shoulders pushed against each other. Ram was bigger than her but not by much. They did not look at each other. “You did not know about Sifa, truly? She was a star. Of course she was. She was better than almost any man or woman. And she won so many tournaments but she won them with style, you know? Yes, indeed, she knew how to play the game, how to win the big money. Obviously, she was beautiful. Tall, just like that. Most important, she had those big tits. Adored by so many fans. So much money. So much to give up, to come here.”
Alina was right, Ram did want to have sex with Sifa but he had enough tact not to admit it. “You didn't have anything to give up?”
Ram did not believe her for a moment but he didn't want to push her. “Okay.”
Alina’s skin was warm against his own as she half turned, brushing against him. “So, do you wish to do this or not?”
“Well, I was taken against my will. But you know I am here now so I think I have to give it my best shot. It's for the survival of the human race and, well, I don't have any other option but to be here.”
Alina scratched her chin. “I am asking if you wish to have intercourse now?”
“Oh. I mean, yeah. I guess.”
“Very well.” She stood and removed her vest and shorts. Her body was exactly as he'd already seen, through her thin clothes and from catching a glimpse or two of her wandering out of her room after a shower. No one was body conscious in the ludus. Yet it was different, seeing her stepping right up in front of him. Her abdominal muscles were huge with deep canyons in between the square sections of muscle. She had no hair anywhere on her body. “You must disrobe also.”
“Sure.” He peeled off his vest and his shorts. Alina looked down at him.
“Do you believe you will be able to achieve and maintain an erection?”
“I'm not sure. I haven't used this before. Oh, wait. Yeah, I think it's okay.”
It was strange, at first, having sex with someone so powerful but Ram got over it rather quickly.
In fact, an intense feeling of warmth and joy spread through him. Compassion, empathy, an intense desire for physical contact, it came on him like a wave, like a series of waves building higher and higher.
Her skin was smooth and delightfully, surprisingly soft under his fingertips as he ran his hands over the ridges of her muscle.
It was the best he ever felt.
“What was that?” Ram asked after, when they lay entangled, hot and sweating on the floor. “Is it these bodies? That was so intense. It was overwhelming. Do you know what I mean? That was amazing.”
“Thank you. I am very skilled.” She spoke with a straight face.
“No kidding.” Ram sighed and arched his back.
“And yet I cannot claim responsibility for the intensity of the pleasure, which is in fact due to the hormonal intervention of our drivers during our intercourse. Your hormones from your driver and mine from dearest Noomi, my own driver. Surges of dopamine, oxytocin, whatever else they do for us. It is very nice, yes? Better than drugs.”
Ram, bathed in the afterglow of a powerful climax, took a moment to process what she had said. “Wait, what? But I thought we were cut off in here? No driver communication in the barracks. How could they do stuff to us?”
“They say they cannot hear or see us, though I have my doubts. But the drivers, they monitor our readouts. They know us and our behaviors. It has become a convention to do this for us. I do not know who started it, probably Sifa and Te, they are sexual, sensual people. Perhaps they asked their drivers to increase hormone secretion during their lovemaking. Whoever it was first, now all of our drivers turn up the sex hormones when our readouts indicate we are experiencing increased sexual arousal. You understand? Most of the time it is masturbation, I suppose but it also makes the intercourse more enjoyable and palatable, especially when most of us do not find the others physically or emotionally desirable in any way yet we experience intense sexual urges.”
“I see.” Ram felt violated in some way. His privacy intruded upon so that even when he was at his most intimate and most vulnerable, he was being manipulated chemically.
Still, he was tired and still shrouded in happiness, so he just tucked the feeling away for the time being.
She stood, looming over him in the low light. “I will sleep now. If Mael attempts to force the door overnight, do not fight him. Leave him to me. Now, the bed is too small for both of us so you will sleep upon the floor.” She lay flat on her back on her bed and turned out the last of the lights.
“Alright, fine, sure.” Ram wrapped the blanket about himself as best he could as he lay down on the cold tile floor. “Well, good night, Alina. And, you know, thanks for helping me out, letting me stay here and be safe and everything.”
She was already snoring.
16. BEATEN
Next morning, Ram was wary. All the pleasure from the night before was gone, it seemed like a dream, like it had happened to someone else.
All morning, creeping out of her room, he stuck by Alina and watched his back. But Rama knew that he was not in charge of his own destiny, not even close. He had been conscripted into service and he was treated as a prisoner or a slave and he could not go where he wanted, he could not escape. So he had to eat with the others, on edge the entire time, glancing at Mael and Eziz and Jun and Genesis. They knew that he knew. Ram could tell that they knew, that everyone knew what was going on. He was going to be attacked by the others, there was nothing he could do about it and they were loving his fear. They were getting off on it, they were laughing and whispering.
Alina ignored it and Ram tried to emulate her and imitate her shadow as they were called from the mess into the morning training session.
Bediako roared across the training area, calling out the pairings for the sparring bouts. “Rama, you'll be facing Te Zhang first of all. Te, do not take it easy on him, you will not do him any favors in the long term.”
“I know,” Te shouted back, before adding, under his breath, “you big fucking prick.”
“And for the love of Jesus, all of you,” Bediako roared. “Stay on your goddamned mats today, alright? This is about area control as much as anything. Anyone crossing into another pair's space will get PT-X’d, I swear to God. Now get to work.”
Ram chanced a whisper to Te. “PT-X?”
“Physical training until you collapse. Usually circuit training with whatever exercises you personally hate the most, for hours, until you run out of juice or dehydrate to the point of collapse.”
“That's crazy. Aren't we supposed to be staying in peak condition?”
“Just stay on your mat, alright, Rama? Come on, mate, let's see what you're made of.”
Ram was a giant amongst giants, and yet he could not stay upright against Te’s throws, could not block his strikes, could not resist his arm locks or leg hooks.
“You going easy on the fucking new guy, Te?” Bediako said, after Te had thrown Ram to the floor for the eighth time.
“No way, boss,” Te said. “I’m messing him up good.”
Ram climbed to his feet again. The clashes with Te hurt his pride, not his body. He didn't feel much pain at all, even when punched or crashed into the mat.
“I do not expect you to win in sparring,” Bediako said, standing before Ram with his arms crossed over his chest. “I do not expect you even to stay on your feet for long. Despite your advantages in height and mass, your body is an obsolete design. Believe me, I know. I trained and fought with the same model as you. Even with a lifetime of combat training to boot, I lost. No matter what supposed upgrades they've installed in you, your muscle tissue is less efficient than everyone else's. Your nervous system is slower. Your endocrine system is primitive, to say the least. But you can do better than this, Rama Seti. You can make a better punching bag for my warriors. Te is going soft on you, despite what he says. Don't deny it, Te Zhang, you goddamn pussy. The one thing you might be good for, Rama, is being taller and heavier than anyone else, making for a better dummy analog Wheeler. Maybe I'll dress you up as one, what do you think about that? Dress you in a yellow leotard and strap some spokes around you? I'm just kidding, son, don't worry. Okay, time to change it up. Te, get out of here. Hey, the African queen, you come and manhandle our useless Wheeler dummy, here, see if you can’t knock some life into him.” Bediako stomped off, calling out the next pairings.
“Don't worry about it,” Te said before he walked away. “He's trying to rile you up.”
“It's working,” Ram said, shaking with anger that he could do nothing about. Everyone on the Vict
ory was a psycho and Ram wanted off.
“Ram,” Sifa said, striding over and tossing her towel and other things to the edge of the mat. The other subjects were swapping around, starting again.
“Te's right.” Milena's voice came through, her tone soothing. Condescending. “He's ridiculing you because he thinks anger is the best motivator. He's also doing it to encourage Mael and the others to perform better, hoping that they will humiliate you by fighting better, demonstrating the gulf between them and you. It will work, too. Another thing to consider is that Bediako used your model body, as he said. His loss weighs heavy on him, it is perhaps the defining event which shaped his character and his behavior ever since. Bediako does not want you to succeed. If you do badly, his failure is even more justified. He can blame it on the model body he was given. If Mael or one of the others beats the Wheelhunter, then Bediako will know it was the new and improved body that won it. Do you see?”
“Of course,” Ram said, irritated. “Don't patronize me. I don't need you explaining the obvious to me, alright?”
Milena said nothing. Ram almost apologized but he didn't.
“Finished arguing with your driver?” Sifa said, speaking brusquely. “Come on, try to put me down. Use your weight and height to overtop me. Grasp my hands, try to bend me backward, push me down, harder.”
She wore her usual tiny, thin, skintight shorts and a tight vest that squashed her breasts against her body. Her nipples were hard.
“Focus, Ram,” Sifa said, not smiling as she usually did. She was all business. “The Wheeler is too strong for blows to damage it, as far as we can tell. You know that grappling will feature in how we defeat it and you struggled with the technical aspects of what you tried to achieve in your Avar session. You have to learn how to position your body, how to distribute your weight. Come here and take my hands.”