22
She thought about calling in sick, then she realised that it was a Saturday. It didn’t feel like a Saturday. She felt none of the excitement she usually had for the weekend. Nothing but a deep sense of dread.
She went into the bathroom and picked up the razor and ran her fingertip along it. Her body was already sore and hurting. Would another gash really make a difference? She looked in the mirror, at her large sorrowful eyes. There was a scratch across her neck where he had held the knife to her. She wondered what would have happened if he had cut her deeper and let her blood stream down her naked body to her toes.
No.
She dropped the razor like it was hot and stepped backwards out of the room. The beast inside her was calling, luring her back to the darkness, and she didn’t know which way to turn. She spun wildly around, her eyes finally falling on her thermal suit. A swim, that was what she needed. The ice-cold water would make her calm.
She collected what she needed and opened the door, almost tripping over Craig, who was curled up like a guard dog outside her flat.
“Have you been there all night?” she asked aghast.
He opened one sleepy eye.
“Of course,” he said, his face deeply earnest. “I’m here to protect you, Kylie.”
“That’s very gallant of you, but I’m fine, really.”
“Where are you off to?” he asked.
“I’m going to the beach.”
“Wait a mo. I’ll come with you.”
“Thanks, but I’d really rather be on my own.”
He would not take her word for an answer. He followed her down the stairs and out into the cool morning air. She glanced up and down the street. There was no sign of Coach or Dexter.
She set off down the road, Craig staying a respectful couple of paces behind her. She glanced round and rolled her eyes at him.
“You might as well walk with me, if you’re coming.”
Smiling, he fell into step beside her and they walked in companionable silence.
The beach was quiet, as she had hoped, the soft sands calling to her, and she quickened her step as they approached. She shed her clothes quickly, down to her suit, and then she jumped headfirst into the sea. She swam with a fury, kicking her legs and powering herself along. She soon felt the gap between her feet and the ground. That feeling of weightlessness as she soared through the waves.
You can’t swim forever, Kylie.
There were those intrusive thoughts, the shady inhabitants that lurked in the furthest corners of her mind. She had learned to push them away, before they crept too far in, threatening to devour her. She swam at a fast, vigorous crawl, pummelling the waves with her arms. She felt herself relax as she swam further and further from the shore. It felt so good, a little too good. She knew she had to pay attention to that feeling. It was her cue to swim back, before her body grew numb with cold. But the beast was on her back, urging her onwards. A large rock rose out of the water. There was the island, marking the point of no return.
Her ears were buzzing as she swam towards it, and she imagined her father waiting for her there.
“That’s it, Kylie,” he called out to her. “You can keep on going, just this one time.”
A few more strokes and she would reach him. So close she could almost touch his hand. Then she pictured Craig, waiting for her on the beach.
No!
She turned and headed back towards the shore, without looking back. It always seemed further on the return swim. Her arms and legs moved more slowly, the waves pushing her further out, as she battled her way back in. She closed her eyes and kicked her legs, conserving her energy as best she could. When she opened them, Craig was swimming towards her, cutting through the waves with his powerful arms.
He needn’t have worried. She knew these waters better than anyone, at least, she had at one time. She felt a pang, as she thought of how badly she had let her dreams go. She splashed him as she swam past him into the shallower waters where she stood, legs shaking slightly, as she caught her breath.
She found her towel and dried herself off before lying back in the early morning sun. Craig came in from the sea and she saw that he was wearing nothing but his boxers. She finished with the towel and handed it to him.
“You’ll freeze.”
“I’m fine,” he said, reluctant to take it from her.
“Please!”
She pulled on her jeans and T-shirt and kept her eyes to herself while he changed.
“That man yesterday. That was the man we talked about?”
It was a statement, not a question.
She drew a deep breath and swallowed down her fear. “Yes, he was my… my swimming coach.”
“The one who took the pictures of you? The one you ran over?”
A wave of nausea washed over her.
“Yes.”
Craig’s voice trembled. “I need a name.”
“Craig - he’s… he’s my problem.”
“I want to kill him for what he’s done to you.”
“No! He’s not worth it.”
Craig frowned. “Do you think this is the end of it? After everything that’s already happened. Swallow your pride and accept my help. I can protect you, Kylie. And I might be the only one.”
“I don’t want you to get tangled up in my mess.”
“I’m already involved, Kylie. I’m not going to stand by and let that creep hurt you.”
“I think I want to go home now,” she said, getting to her feet.
“Whatever you want.”
They picked their way slowly along the sand. Kylie felt calmer now, more able to breathe.
He didn’t question her further as they walked back, and she was grateful. He escorted her to her door and waited while she unlocked it.
“I can fix this,” he said, fingering the broken chain.
“I’ll get the landlord to do it.”
“Andy? It’ll be months before he gets around to it.”
Her eyes flickered.
“Okay. Please fix it.”
“Great. I’ll get my tools.”
He returned minutes later, lugging a huge toolbox. He stood by the door and played with the lock, then he pulled out a replacement chain and held it up to her door.
“Where did you get that from?”
“It’s from my flat. You need it more.”
“Oh, Craig. I can’t let you do that.”
“Of course you can.”
He fitted the chain and then brushed his hands on his shirt.
“I don’t know about you, but I need some breakfast.”
The memory of the noodles flashed through her mind. She pictured Coach twirling the fork, bringing them to his mouth.
“I’ll make you something,” Craig said watching her carefully.
“Thanks.”
She followed him up the stairs to his place, glad to get away.
He cooked fluffy scrambled eggs on thick slices of wholemeal toast and hot coffee that smelled of nutmeg and cinnamon. It was the best meal she had eaten in quite some time.
He watched as she tore into the food.
“You have to look after yourself better,” he said. “You look like you haven’t eaten properly in days.”
That was because she hadn’t, but she wasn’t about to tell him. She had some pride left.
“You need building up,” he insisted. “I don’t know how you managed to swim like that without a proper meal inside you.”
She shrugged.
“You’re still really good, you know? Have you thought about taking it up again?”
“I just can’t.”
“Well, that’s up to you of course.”
He picked up both their empty plates and carried them over to the sink.
She picked up a tea towel and dried the dishes as he washed. The sun had only got brighter, and it looked nice outside, but all she wanted was to stay here and hide away with Craig.
He wrapped an arm around her, t
hen withdrew it quickly.
“Sorry,” he said, “I wasn’t thinking. Do you mind me touching you?”
She turned and looked up at him, at his brilliant blue eyes, and the kindness in his expression.
“I love it,” she told him honestly. “You make me feel warm and safe.”
He drew her to him then, and she relaxed as she inhaled his scent.
“You smell like pinecones,” she told him.
“And you smell like sweet, delicious candy.”
They flopped down on to the sofa, and he pulled her onto his lap.
“You’re good for me,” he whispered into her hair.
“I wish I was.”
“But you are, my princess. You are.”
She shook her head. “Everything I touch turns bad. I worry that I’m going to drag you down with me, all the way to hell.”
He held her more fiercely. “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you ever again.”
He kissed the top of her head, and she longed for him to kiss her lips, to bring her back to life.
“It will be very different,” he said. “When I take you to bed.”
She looked up at him sharply.
“When?”
“Oh, yes,” he said with a wistful smile. “It’s only a matter of time, don’t you think? But don’t worry, I’m prepared to wait for you, Kylie. I’ll wait forever if that’s what you need.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he was still going. “But when the time comes, I promise I’ll be gentle. I can be gentle, you know.”
She didn’t doubt it, despite his bulging muscles. She dared to look up and meet his gaze. He looked deadly serious, as if he was thinking of her and only her.
“I’m too much trouble…”
“No!” he hushed her, pressing a finger to her lips. “You’re not trouble, Kylie. You’re irresistible.”
“Then I don’t want to wait,” she murmured.
At that, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to his bed. Her eyes widened as he positioned himself on top of her, both of them still fully dressed. His body felt heavy as he pressed against her, so heavy she could barely move.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
“Yes! More than okay!”
His lips were soft and tender as he kissed her, and she felt a pleasant tingle as he wound his legs around hers. She felt herself growing wet for him and her breathing grew deeper. She craved the softness of his touch and the kindness of his voice, but the beast inside her craved the darkness. A part of her wanted to feel afraid.
In one fluid motion, he rolled over onto his back so that she was now lying on top of him. She gasped as he unbuttoned her top and his eyes sparkled like he had discovered hidden gems. He held her breasts and admired them. She ached for him to squeeze or pinch them, but he just held them like prizes in his hands.
“Perfect,” he declared. “You’re just perfect.”
She wasn’t, she knew she wasn’t, but she bit back her reply.
His hands moved down her body, and she couldn’t help but tense when he reached her sore bottom. He ran his hands over her injured buttocks, handling them in the same respectful way he’d held her breasts. He did not squeeze, and he did not hurt her, and she felt a strong yearning for more.
Then they were kissing again, his lips pressing tenderly against hers. His hands brushed her damaged neck and found their way up to her cheeks.
“We’re going to take it slow,” he said.
“But I don’t want to take it slow! I want you so much!”
Was he going to make her beg?
He held her tighter. “This isn’t about what you want, it’s about what you need.”
“Don’t you think I should be the judge of that?”
His jaw tightened. “After what that arsehole did to you…”
“I told you, I’m fine.”
He kissed her on the top of her head and slid himself out from under her. Then he backed away a few paces towards the door. His stiffness was obvious, even through his jeans.
She sat up and looked at him, her bottom lip trembling with emotion.
“Don’t you want me?”
Their eyes locked. “You know it’s not that.”
“Please, Craig!”
She threw herself at his mercy, her hands reaching out for his zipper. A dark look flashed across his brow.
“Don’t!” he said with a sternness that shocked her.
She clung to him, trying to work her way into his jeans. She knew how to please a man. She just had to show him. She reached inside his underwear, her hand making contact with his cock.
“No!”
Instinctively, he threw her across the room.
She landed back on his bed, arms and legs flailing.
He was over her in an instant.
“Kylie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. It’s my training...”
She looked up, bewildered. “What training?”
“I’m sure I’ve told you how I used to work in prisons. You have to know how to defend yourself in that situation. You have to be constantly on alert for an attack.”
“You thought I was… attacking you?”
“No, of course not, my dear, sweet Kylie, but sometimes I act on instinct.”
“I think I’d better go now,” she said, getting up off the bed.
In that moment, the mood had altered, and she felt the familiar tingle of shame.
“Kylie!” he called after her. “Baby, come back!”
But she was already out the door.
23
He raced after her, stopping her before she could get the keys into the door of her flat.
“Kylie, I’m sorry. I should never have touched you, that was so wrong.”
She turned and looked at him.
“It’s okay, Craig.” She looked up at him, her eyes large and vulnerable. “I… I just want to be with you. Why are you making it so complicated?”
“That man…” he clenched and unclenched his fists. “He’s like a… a demon or something. He still has a hold over you. I can see it in your eyes. When I make love to you, I want to be sure it’s me you’re thinking of. I want to be sure you’re ready.” He lowered his eyes. “And I want to make sure it’s special.”
He took her hand and squeezed it, then he backed away, forcing himself to traipse back upstairs to his empty flat.
He closed the door behind him and let out a big sigh. His cock was hard inside his jeans, and he pulled it out to give himself some release. He went to the computer and turned it on, bringing up the pictures of Kylie. He stared at them long and hard, then he pressed the delete button. He should never have downloaded those pictures in the first place. Kylie deserved better than that. She deserved to be treated like a princess.
Kylie went to work as usual on Monday. She hid among the bookshelves, watching each new person who came through the door. She didn’t want Coach to come and find her at work. She never wanted to see him again. And yet there was a bleak, joyless part of her that felt strangely defeated when it came to closing time and he hadn’t appeared.
There had been no sign of Craig either and she was a little nervous about the commute home until Flora walked in.
“I’m here to walk you home,” she said brightly. “Craig had a meeting with his tutor. He was going to skip it, but I made him go. I told him you wouldn’t want him falling behind on your account.”
“No. No, of course not.”
She berated herself for being so selfish. She hadn’t even thought about what else Craig might have on. She had only thought of herself.
“I’ll just be a minute,” she said. “I’ve got to finish this shelf and then I’ll be done. Why don’t you go and make yourself a cup of tea in the staff room? I’m sure no one will mind.”
Flora shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind a glass of water. I’m parched.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a mo.”
Flora walked off towards the staff room
and Kylie stacked the rest of the books on the shelf. She had almost finished when she realized the last two needed to go in the archaeology section. How had those got there? She could have sworn they were all biology.
With a sigh, she strode across to archaeology and worked out what shelves she needed. They were both really high up. She walked back to the biology section and collected the ladder, leaning it against the wall. More and more people left as she was up there, and she was certain she and Flora must be the last. It wasn’t a welcome thought. What if he was waiting outside?
She tidied the ladder away and walked towards the staff room. She heard voices as she approached. Flora was in there with someone. He sounded male. She quickened her pace and pushed open the door. Flora was laughing and next to her, resting one arm casually on the wall, was Marc Peters. She looked from one to the other but neither one seemed to notice her. They were too wrapped up in their conversation. A conversation which apparently had nothing to do with her.
“Seriously, Flora. Marc Peters?” she said, once she finally managed to drag her away. “He’s like, the geekiest guy at the library.”
“I’m surprised to hear you talking like that,” Flora said. “After all, isn’t he the one that got those nasty pictures taken down?”
She swallowed. “Yes. Yes, he is. And he fixed my mug.”
“There you go then. He’s a great guy.”
Kylie opened her mouth to say something, but swallowed it back down. Who was she to tell Flora who she should like? And she was right, Marc was one of the good ones, once you got past his sticky out ears and nosey manner.
“Anyway, he’s taking me to the cinema on Sunday. We’re going to go and see the new Star Wars film.”
“Yup, that’s about what I’d expect.”
“And we’re going out for drinks afterwards. Can you believe he’s never had a Porn Star Martini?”
They Won't Believe You (Scottish Dark Romance Book 1) Page 13