He wanted to tuck her in his arms, to soothe away the worry lacing her voice. But he’d have to do it with words, for he’d learned his lesson about touching her when he'd not been invited to do so.
After sitting with her pressed against his shoulder much of the night, he’d not thought twice about reaching for her arm to halt her earlier. But the way she recoiled made it clear a sudden touch wasn’t welcome. The panic in her eyes would be seared in his mind for a long time to come.
He struggled for something to say that would ease her worry. “I don’t know why they ran. Maybe the lightning struck too near them. I’m sure we’ll find them soon, though.”
They were entering the canyon now, and he pointed up to the rock wall that rose in stair steps on either side of them. “Look at the way the rock changes color with each layer.”
She followed his motion and was silent for a moment as she took in the red and white lines in the stone. “I like the view much better from down here.”
He bit back a chuckle. “Not much for heights, huh?”
“Am I that obvious?” Her voice seemed to hold the hint of a smile.
“Not really.” He shouldn’t say how much he was drawn to watch her.
As they rode on, he did his best to keep her occupied with little tidbits and casual questions. Anything to keep her thoughts from worry. She relaxed into him a little more every few minutes, especially as the uneven path meant the horses had to shift and strain to maneuver, which jostled them both.
“These tracks seem like they’re gettin’ fresher.” Elias pointed to a muddy print the shape of a horseshoe. “If I remember right, there’s a little grassy spot on the other side of that hill. Might be that’s where we find ’em.”
“I hope so.” She echoed the words in Seth’s own mind.
The sides of the canyon leveled off as they ascended what Elias called a hill. It looked more like a cliff, and the animals strained to climb. There wasn’t a place to stop and let them rest partway up, but thankfully, this wasn’t as high as the true mountains they’d maneuvered.
As they crested the top, Seth reined his horse in beside Elias. “Oh.” The scene stretching below them was breathtaking, a narrow valley spanning from the base of their hill and extending three times as far as he could throw a stone. Beyond that, three mountains rose in magnificent splendor, each of their peaks capped with snow.
“Does the snow ever melt here?” Andy’s voice sounded beside him where Samuel had also reined in.
“Some o’ these peaks keep it all year ’round,” Elias said.
The gelding underneath them shifted forward, and Rachel grabbed his arm that held the reins. It was only then he realized how tense she was from the height they stared down from.
He brought his other hand around to help grip the leathers, then eased his arms back to hold her a little more securely. “Easy.” He spoke to the horse but meant it for her as well.
She moved her other hand to grip his arm, too, and he closed her in a little tighter, careful not to touch her with his hands. “You’re safe.” He spoke only loud enough for her ears, and he ached to wrap his arms around her fully instead of this loose hold that offered a sense of protection without pressure that would scare her. If she would only let him through her defenses, she would see his intent was to care for her. Never in a thousand summers would he let her be hurt like before.
Her only response was rough breathing, as though she struggled to get the air in, then out again.
He scrambled for something to say to distract her, but before his mind could form a line of conversation, Elias motioned them forward.
“Down we go. Seems like I might see somethin’ that could be yer horse.”
Seth held his gelding back from following the mule and leaned close to Rachel’s ear. “Do you want to wait a minute longer?”
She shook her head. “Go.”
All right then. She planned to face this fear head-on like she'd faced everything else. This woman’s strength continued to amaze him.
He nudged the gelding forward, and the animal picked his way through the rocky terrain. At a steeper step, he gathered his haunches under him and dropped down with his front legs.
Rachel let out a squeak and pulled Seth’s arm tight against her. He tucked his hand around her side, holding the reins with his left hand. “I’ve got you.” She didn’t fight his grip. If anything, she held him closer.
Chapter Twelve
All my life I’ve wanted to be a better man. Something about this woman makes me think I may actually achieve that goal.
~ Seth
As much as Seth would have loved to relish Rachel’s trust in him, it took all his focus to guide the horse down the descent. The gelding was usually sure-footed, but this cliff would be a test even for a mountain goat.
The clatter of rocks behind them signaled Samuel was making his way, too. Keep them safe, Lord. Let us all get down without incident.
Halfway through, his gelding stumbled. Seth jerked up on the reins to keep the animal’s head up. The horse scrambled but finally gathered his hooves underneath him.
Rachel gripped Seth’s arm with a hold tight enough to hinder the blood flow, but it was nothing compared to the strength with which he held her.
The slope was too steep for the horse to stop and rest, but Seth kept a tight hold on the reins to help the gelding take things slow. One measured step at a time.
When they finally reached the bottom where the grade leveled, he both felt and heard Rachel’s long exhale.
“Good, boy.” Seth leaned around her to rub the animal’s shoulder, which brought his face almost beside hers.
She rested her head back against his shoulder and turned a weary smile to him. “I wasn’t sure we would make it.”
The ride down, or maybe the fear she fought with each step, had more than exhausted her. Had stripped away her protective shell.
Their faces were mere handbreadths apart, and he could feel the warmth of her spent air on his cheeks. But he wouldn’t take advantage of her vulnerability. A kiss would spoil this moment, this warm celebration in his chest. And too, her son was looking on. Later. He could only pray for another opportunity later.
Samuel reined his mount in beside Seth’s. “I’m gonna walk a while. This boy scraped his knee on a rock.”
Rachel lifted her head from his shoulder as she turned to the pair. Yet she didn’t stiffen her back. Stayed soft in his arms.
Which meant he had to pull on every bit of self-control he possessed to say, “I should walk, too. This boy needs a break after all that work.”
Elias let out a laugh—really more like a cackle—as he gave his mule an affectionate slap on the neck. “That’s why you fellers need a mule. Can take you anywhere you wanna go and won’t wear out doin’ it.”
He forced himself to release his grip around Rachel’s waist, and his arm missed the warmth of her body. She leaned forward as though she would dismount, but he rested a hand on her shoulder. “You can stay put. I won’t kick you as I climb down.”
“I’ll walk, too.” She shifted her leg over the gelding’s neck and slid out of his hold.
By the time he’d dismounted, she was stroking the horse’s muzzle, murmuring soft words to him. That would make the horse feel better, no doubt. Having her whisper sweet words would heal any man’s aches.
As Seth gathered the reins, she turned her focus to her son, slipping her arm around his shoulders. Then she looked to Elias. “Which direction did you see the horses?”
The older man raised a hand to shield his gaze from the sun and scanned to their left, along the base of the mountain. “There’s some heavy brush out there, but I think I saw the yellow mare mixed in with it.”
“Let’s go see.” Rachel released her son and started that direction.
THE HORSES GREETED Rachel with welcome nickers, as though they’d been casually waiting for her to come. She and Andy easily caught the animals, but saddling them and refastening thei
r packs required dismantling all the careful organizing Elias had done on the mule and the two chestnut geldings.
Finally, they were back on the trail, and it seemed like the sun should be much farther along its arc than just past the noon mark.
“Hard to believe it’s been less than a full day since we were swimming in the lake, huh?” Seth rode on her right, his gelding’s nose even with her stirrup.
“That was a lot of fun. Can we swim the next time we come to water?” Andy seemed like a new boy since they’re play time the day before. Lighter, as though he’d washed off some of the seriousness that marked his bearing these past years. It had come on so gradually, she’d not even realized how different he’d become.
Growing up with a father like Richard did that to a boy.
She pushed the thought away. Despite the fear from losing the horses, it felt as though she’d shed a layer of worry, too. Or maybe she and Andy had already stepped into the new life this trip would bring them.
“I reckon’ we can do that.” Elias called back from the lead. “It’ll be a few days before we hit another.”
The rest of that afternoon passed easily and with blue skies, for which she couldn’t help but be relieved. She’d never again complain about a long day in the saddle, because it meant she had a horse to ride.
And she was mostly able to keep that promise over the next few days. They rode through one rain shower, but with no thunder or lightning, the horses did little more than duck against the wet.
In the wee hours of the third day after that awful storm, Elias took the last swig of his morning coffee, then set the cup down and rubbed his hands together. “We reach Two Rivers later this mornin’.”
“What’s that?” Rachel laid strips of bear meat on the pan to sizzle over the fire. She’d become adept at using her left hand for work that would soil the bandage still on her right.
“Two Rivers be the little town about a half day’s ride below my cabin. I need to stop in an’ deliver a couple things I promised folks. There’s a lake above the place that’s the source o’ the rivers flowing on either side o’ the town. Figured we could maybe spend the afternoon there, then push on to my place tomorrow.”
That old familiar tightening squeezed her chest. “A town?” The question slipped out before she could stop it, the words laced too heavily with her angst. That was a testament to how familiar she’d become with these people.
Yet she wouldn’t allow them to force her through the town. Under no condition.
“How big is this place? What businesses are there?” Seth’s voice still held a trace of sleepy gravel, yet its strength worked its usual magic to calm her.
“Just a few buildings. A trade store, a smithy, a leatherworker who can also build a wagon if ya ask him to.”
And at least one of those places sold whiskey and served as gambling den, she had no doubt.
She raised her chin to Elias so he had no doubt of the seriousness of her intent. “Andy and I will ride on and meet you at the lake.” They could follow one of the rivers to the source, surely.
He cocked his head to study her. “There’s no need to worry ’bout these folks. I know ’em all well. An’ I won’t do more than say howdy and unload what I brought, if’n yer worried about the time.”
“I’ve an idea.” Seth leaned forward, his cup cradled in both hands. “You see your friends, Elias. The rest of us can follow the river up to the lake and get started on that swim. You join us whenever you’re finished.”
Yes.
Seth must have heard her relieved exhale, for a corner of his mouth curved as he slid her a glance, then returned his focus to Elias.
“I reckon’ that’ll work fine.”
“Maybe you’ll have enough time to finally best me.” Samuel reached up to tousle Andy’s hair. The ruffle didn’t muss it any more than his sleep had already done, and Rachel couldn’t help the surge of love that warmed her chest at Andy’s answering grin.
Seth and Samuel Grant were men unlike any she’d ever known. In fact, she’d long given up believing such existed among ranks of the male population. How close Andy had come to never knowing their good influence.
It would have been a loss for him. But as much as she appreciated their attentions to her son, she couldn’t allow herself to be affected. It was one thing to be thankful for their encouragement to her child during this journey. Quite another to let her own heart be cracked open.
Yet as Seth leaned near to refill his tin with coffee, her senses came alive in the way that always unsettled her. She’d let him in too far already. In a few weeks they would reach Canada and go their separate ways.
Carving him from her heart would be torture. But she’d have to do it.
AS THEY SETTLED INTO their usual rhythm on the trail, Seth couldn’t help wondering exactly why Rachel was so skittish of people.
He’d assumed she didn’t trust strangers, and he was pretty sure her wariness was mostly directed toward men. He’d supposed someone in her past had planted the fear deep within her over a span of much time. Probably her husband, if he’d read her reactions correctly.
But her distrust seemed so extreme, was there something more? Was she fleeing from a crime she committed?
And the bigger question...did that change how he felt about her?
His chest ached every time he thought of what she must have suffered. At the same time, fury sluiced through his veins. No woman should be mistreated, especially not such a tender heart as Rachel.
If the abuse had turned her to violence, well... Should he talk to her about it? God knew exactly how much wrong he’d done, even though none of his misdeeds had been technically against the law. Still, so many people had been hurt, some even ending in death.
And yet the Lord had forgiven those sins. Cleansed him completely when Seth had finally turned in desperation. Maybe Rachel needed to know of that same grace. Show me your way, Father. Help me get this right.
A few hours into the morning, they reached a wide creek flowing with trees on either side.
“I reckon’ this is where we part ways fer a bit.” Elias paused at the river’s edge. “You just follow this upstream ’til you see the lake. I’ll catch up in an hour or two.”
“Take your time.” Seth raised a hand in farewell, then turned his gelding the direction Elias had pointed.
In a half hour they reached the lake, which wasn’t as large as the first one they swam in. The water wasn’t such a clear green either, but it was still a welcome sight with the warm sun running beads of sweat down his back.
“Those trees’ll make a good campsite.” Rachel motioned toward a cluster of a dozen trunks.
“Can I swim after I unsaddle the horses?” Andy was already eyeing the water.
“You may.” She couldn’t deny that longing in his gaze.
The boy hurried through his task and had Winter and Summer stripped of their saddles and set out to graze before she’d even unfastened the food pack.
Her gaze followed her son as he tugged off his boots and shirt, then stepped into the water. He waded forward with no concern slowing his progress.
She couldn’t help but call out to him. “Be careful of rocks.”
He shot her a grin. “I will.” But he didn’t slow a bit. When the water reached the top of his trousers, he ducked low to submerge his chest, then turned toward them. “Come on. It’s warmer than the other lake.”
Seth and Samuel had already unsaddled their own mounts. Seth gathered wood for a fire, and Samuel organized their packs—their normal process to set up camp.
She motioned toward the water. “Go swim. This can wait.” In truth, she would feel better if Andy weren’t in the water alone. None of them knew the dangers in this water, and his skill was still so limited.
A look passed between the brothers, so quick she almost missed it. Then Seth turned to her. “Samuel will join your son. I’ll get a fire started first.”
Her relief spread a warmth through her ch
est that flowed out to her smile. It was just like Seth to know her concern even when she didn’t express it. To watch over Andy without leaving her to bear the brunt of the work.
She had the food pulled out for the midday meal by the time Seth kindled a blaze for the campfire. He sat back on his heels to study the flame, and she couldn’t help a glance at his strong profile. From his wide shoulders to the way every part of his face dove into his expression. This man was too appealing.
Forcing her focus away from him, she scrambled for something to distract her attention. “Do you want to eat before you swim?”
He reached for one of the strips of roasted venison. “I’ll just have this to hold me over.” The grin he sent her started a fluttering in her chest, and she looked away.
A minute later, he pushed to his feet with a little groan. “These long days in the saddle can wear you out.”
Oh, how she knew that to be true.
“Anything else that needs doing before I join the others?”
She shook her head, not daring to meet his gaze. “Nothing. I’ll have food and warm coffee when you finish swimming.”
“Thank you.”
Those two simple words, spoken with an earnestness that she could feel to her core, finally broke through her defenses.
She met his look, forced herself to nod. Did her best not to fall into the intensity in his eyes.
Then those eyes softened, crinkling at the edges. One corner of his mouth tipped up. “You’re welcome to join us in the water. You might find you like it.”
He didn’t step forward like he had the last time. Did nothing to stir her fear. And for a moment, part of her craved to go with him. To set aside her worries and free herself in the water.
However, that would also require setting aside her skirts, and that she couldn’t do. “Thank you for the offer, but I’ve things I need to accomplish. Go. Enjoy your swim.”
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