“You’re right. I was afraid.” She inhaled a steadying breath. “Richard stopped gambling and drinking once. It lasted three months. He started helping in the fields again, and even tried to get to know his son better. I thought maybe that awful mess was behind us.
“Then one day he disappeared again. He didn’t come home for two days, and when he did, he had a black eye and sutures closing a cut across the back of his hand. He was drunk and angry. I’d never seen him that furious. I made the foolish mistake of confronting him.” The memories flooded back in a wave, catching her almost before she had a chance to shore herself up against them. A sob slipped through, as she thought of the little bundle she never had the chance to hold. Even now, her hands ached from the loss. Her heart squeezing so much she could barely draw breath.
Seth pulled her closer, and another sob pushed out. The tears burning her eyes threatened to break through. She couldn’t let them. Not now of all times.
But for once, they wouldn’t be stopped.
A hot drop plunged down her cheek, opening the trail for another. More tears slid down her other cheek. The sobs wouldn’t be held back now.
Seth had both hands around her, one stroking her arm, the other brushing the hair from her face. “Cry, honey. It’s good to cry.”
His words made no sense, but her body seemed to believe him, for she couldn’t make herself stop. She did her best to keep the sobs quiet. The last thing she wanted was to wake Andy so he could witness her emotional collapse.
As her body purged itself, her mind replayed the awful day she’d lost the baby. She’d not even let herself cry then, even when her heart was being wrenched in two, the separation of the child that should have been hers to love.
By the time the tears waned, Seth’s sleeve was a soggy mess where she leaned against him. Her own cuffs weren’t much better from wiping away her blubber. A final sob slipped through as she lifted from his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Her whisper came out hoarse, still choked with emotion. “I don’t usually let myself cry.”
He reached up to finger a strand of her hair. “My mama always said tears were healing for a woman. She was a strong lady, but when she needed to cry, she did. I hated to see her red nose and puffy eyes when I was little, but by the time I was about Andy’s age, I realized she was always better for it afterward.”
An image of him as a twelve-year-old boy skittered through her mind, tugging a smile even though her face felt tight from emotion. She wiped the rest of the moisture from under her eyes, then eased out a long breath. With the spent air, she let go of the tensions from the day. And maybe some of the tensions from past years. Her shoulders sagged from the loss, as if she’d been using the strain to prop herself up.
She finally worked up the nerve to look at Seth, and the sweet expression shimmering in his eyes made her want to crawl into his embrace again.
“Feel any better?” One corner of his mouth tugged upward.
“I do actually. Your mama must be a smart woman.” And strong, too. Stronger than her own mother.
He nodded, his gaze wandering off into the distance. “I’m not sure any of us appreciated her enough until we moved away. At least, that’s the way it was for me.”
Then he turned his focus back to her, all trace of sweet reminiscence slipping from his expression. “Rachel, I don’t think I can ever quite put into words how sorry I am for how hard things were for you. And Andy. I need you to know something, though.”
His gaze was more earnest than she’d ever seen it. “I’m not the same man your husband was. We’ve made some of the same mistakes, but there’s one very big difference with me.” When he paused, she drew only a tiny breath so she wouldn't miss his next words.
“God healed me. He took away the addiction—the cravings for drink and the urge to win. He wiped it all away. I can’t even stomach the thought of those things now.”
He took her hand with his free one, and determination marked the change in his tone. “I understand you’re not sure if you can trust me. You’ve been hurt, maybe even worse than I know. You should be careful before trusting another man with your heart. With your and Andy’s safety.
“But, Rachel, with God’s help, I will prove trustworthy. I will grow into the man you need. I may not always get things right, but you can have faith that I’ll be striving to do what’s best for you and Andy. You have my word.”
Tears sprang to her eyes again, and she sniffed them back. Yet her defenses were so weak now. “Seth...” What could she even say to him? He was right that she couldn’t trust again, even though she wanted to believe him more than she wanted her next breath.
He released her hand and moved his fingers up to cradle her cheek. “It’s all right, Rachel. Take as much time as you need. Just know that when we reach Canada and find your brother, I’ll not be walking away from you. I’ll be there every time you need me. Whenever you’re ready, all you have to do is look up, and you’ll see me waiting.” As his mouth tugged into a grin, his teeth glimmered in the moonlight.
He wore that rogue’s smile, the one that made her heart flutter. She laid her hand over his on her cheek, then turned her face to plant a kiss on his palm. “Thank you.”
And she meant the words from the bottom of her heart. The future looked hazy just now, but having Seth to lean on—even if just for tonight—was a gift from God.
Thank you, Lord.
“WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH Hackney?” Seth finally spoke the question he knew his brother had been brooding over as much as he had.
They were nearing the cabin. Again. The feeling of returning to this place of dread had been hovering over him for the last hour or so. Probably, they all felt the same way.
“I don’t think the kidnapping was his idea.” Rachel’s soft voice drifted over his shoulder from where she was tucked behind him.
Could she possibly harbor anything but hatred for the man? He’d held her at gunpoint while her son was taken away. The abduction may not have been Hackney’s idea, but he’d sure gone along with the plan.
“He’s injured.” Samuel’s voice held its usual low tenor, but a bit of regret laced the words. Pulling a trigger aimed at flesh and blood had to have been hard. Yet without that injury, there may have been a lot more bloodshed before they could get Rachel away.
“He wasn’t as rough with me as the big man was.” Andy spoke up from behind Samuel’s saddle.
Seth forced himself not to show his body’s response to the words. Even the boy was going to champion this despoiler? “So you think we should find him a doctor and turn him loose?” There may have been too much anger in his tone, but had they all forgotten what the man had done?
“That’s not what I said.” Samuel’s tone held a warning. “He might need a doctor. And then I guess we should see if there’s any law in this area.”
Seth sighed. He didn’t want to be vengeful, but the man had taken part in kidnapping Rachel and Andy, then planned to assault Rachel in the worst way. There was no chance Seth would let him walk away with no recourse. “How far away do you think we are from Simeon’s place? Have we crossed into Canada yet?”
“Based on the map Elias drew, I think we will soon. Maybe another week to Simeon’s, possibly less, depending on the terrain.”
“Good.” It would be a relief to be among friends again. Not only for the reunion with their brother and sister, but also to have Rachel and Andy in safety and among people who would help nurture and care for them. Maybe Rachel would get a chance to see how a loving family could interact. Because he was pretty sure from their letters that both Simeon and Noelle had healthy, loving families there in the Canadian mountains.
Light through the trees ahead showed the clearing approaching quickly. Seth reined in his horse. “Think we should check things out before we ride in there? We tied him pretty well, but anything could happen.”
“I’ll take a look through the back like I did before.” Samuel stopped beside them and tapped Andy’s leg. “Can you h
old this gelding for me?”
“Yes, sir.” Andy slid down and took the reins while Samuel dismounted.
As his brother crept around to the rear of the cabin to peek through the cracks between logs, Seth helped Rachel dismount, then climbed down and positioned himself where he’d have a clear shot should the need arise.
Samuel appeared from the trees behind the building, leaning low as he darted forward, rifle braced in both hands. He disappeared in the shadows behind the structure,
Seth barely breathed as he held his body rigid, gun poised, finger hovering over the trigger.
Then Samuel appeared around the side of the wagon, walking upright and looking their way with a grim expression. “Seth, come take a look.”
The knot in his belly jerked tight as foreboding slid over him. Had the man gotten himself loose? How could that be possible?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
This wasn’t the way I had planned, yet I lean on Your leading, Lord.
~ Seth
“Stay here with the horses.” Seth sent Rachel a meaningful look, and she nodded, wrapping her arm around her son’s shoulders. A possessive hold.
He used long strides to cover the ground to the cabin, and his brother waited for him by the closed door. Samuel’s mouth held a tight line as he watched Seth approach.
“Is he gone?” Seth studied his brother’s eyes for an answer.
“Dead. Looks like he had a knife we didn’t find.”
Dead? Seth blinked, trying to catch up with the unexpected turn. “If he had a knife, why wouldn’t he have just cut himself loose?”
Samuel shook his head. “I don’t know. Not sure if you wanna go in, but this is definitely not something the others should see.”
He followed his brother inside, and a single look at the man slumped over his bound arms, sitting in a pool of his own blood, was all Seth needed. He turned away, his heart aching. He’d wanted Hackney punished, but not like this. Not at his own hand, sitting in his blood, far from anyone who might care about him.
“I suppose we should bury him. And maybe see if there’s any correspondence that might tell us of family we should notify.” A glance around the room didn’t reveal much.
Darkness was falling in earnest by the time they’d dug a decent grave and piled rocks over the freshly churned ground. They stood in front of the plot, and Samuel prayed for God to have mercy on this man’s soul. It was all they could do.
A numbness had fallen over the group, but they all agreed they’d rather push on to their previous camp before stopping for the night. This place held too many memories—some that may turn into nightmares. Besides, they needed to see if Rachel and Andy’s horses were still in the area.
They found Hackney’s horse tied in the woods, then loaded the animal with food they’d garnered from the cabin. Finally, they were off again, winding their way through the trees. Rachel’s cheek rested on his shoulder for much of the way, and he could only be thankful for the trust she placed in him with that act.
By the time they reached the camp, her steady breathing in his ear proved she must have given in to her exhaustion. After the strain of the day before, then being up so long into the night, she had every right to be weary.
Samuel’s gelding raised a nicker as they reined in, and when a responding whinny sounded through the woods, Rachel lifted her head from his shoulder.
“Where are we?” Her voice held a sleepy scratch that tightened a longing inside him.
“We’re back at camp. I’ll slide off, then help you down.”
She straightened, pulling her warmth away from his back, a loss that went deeper than a mere layer of his skin.
He dismounted, then reached up for her. Part of him didn’t expect she’d allow him to help her down, but she rested her hands on his shoulders and let him lift her by the waist.
She must have been weak from sleep, for when her feet touched the ground, she kept sinking.
“Whoa, there.” He gripped her waist tighter, pulling her back up and toward him.
She sank against his chest, utterly spent. “I’m sorry, Seth.” Her soft voice, muffled in the cloth of his shirt, was almost too light to hear.
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He kept a sturdy arm around her, then used his other hand to stroke her back. “Nothing at all.”
Holding her here, soft and completely pliant, was like nothing he’d ever felt. Strength normally resonated from her, even in her moments of exhaustion. Yet now, the primary feeling he sensed in her was trust. And exhaustion.
The former caused a burn in his throat that he wouldn’t deny even if he wanted to. Only God could make him into the man she needed, and maybe the Father above was doing just that.
THE NEXT FEW DAYS ON the trail seemed rather dull after the turmoil of the kidnapping, but Seth would prefer boring and safe any day—at least, when it came to Rachel and her son. Andy had been quiet for the first day but was working back out of his shell much quicker than when they’d first met him, and Rachel seemed to have shed a few defensive layers, too. He couldn’t get enough of this new openness about her. This lightness.
She didn’t seem immune to his touch either, which was better news still. Maybe soon she would be ready for another kiss. But he’d committed himself not to rush it. Only when she was ready to trust him fully.
“I think we may be getting close.” Samuel studied the map as they paused for a quick midday meal during the fifth day back on the trail.
“Really? What should we be watching for?” Andy peered over his arm as he munched a bite of cold cheese and hamsteak. The supplies they’d brought from the kidnapper’s cabin were nothing short of delicious.
“This map doesn’t give landmarks for where we turn, but the letter from our brother says we’ll come to a cabin tucked in a little valley surrounded by mountains on three sides. That cabin belongs to his wife’s brother.”
“Does your brother live near there?”
“A few hours’ away in a big valley. Simeon’s cabin sits on one corner, and my sister, Noelle, and her family live near them. There’re some other people nearby, too. The aunt and uncle of Simeon’s wife, I think.”
“Are they close to town?” Rachel’s question might have sounded innocent to anyone else, but he didn’t even have to glance at her to know she was worried. How would she ever live near a fort as she planned, with all manner of men coming and going?
Hopefully she’d find Simeon’s little valley more to her liking, but if she didn’t, he’d go where she wanted to. He’d not completely made up his mind to live permanently where his brother and sister had settled anyway. But it’d be nice to stay a while and get reacquainted.
Samuel straightened and folded the map. “You folks ready to mount up? I think our path will level out for a while.”
Back on the trail, travel was much easier than the rocky path around the mountain they’d ridden that morning. A peak rose up on their right, so steep and rocky it looked almost like a wall had grown up in the midst of the flatland they traveled.
“Aren’t you glad we don’t have to climb that?” He sent Rachel a grin.
She raised her gaze to the top of the precipice. “Quite.” Then she brought her focus back to him. “I’m getting better at heights, though.”
“Ho, there.” Samuel threw out a hand to stop them as he jerked his reins tight. “Move back.”
Seth jerked his focus to see what had alerted his brother even as he reined his horse backward to get out of Samuel’s way.
A cabin.
When they’d all backed out of view of the structure, Seth looked to his brother. “Do you think that’s the one Simeon wrote about? His brother-in-law’s place?”
Samuel glanced up at the cliff wall as if he could see the cabin beyond. “It could be. One of us should check to make sure before we all make our presence known.”
“I’ll go see.” Seth nudged his horse toward the path they’d been traveling.
“Wait, Seth.” Rachel
’s voice held enough fear, he reined in his gelding.
Turning to meet her troubled gaze, he let her see his earnestness. “I’ll be careful, Rachel. If this isn’t the man we’re looking for, I’ll come back straightaway, and we’ll move on.”
Her lower lip slid between her teeth for a moment. Finally, she nodded. “Be careful.”
A noise drifted through the air, calling his attention back toward the cabin. It sounded like the steady thwak of an ax on wood. He guided his gelding forward, watching for the first glimpse of activity ahead.
The man came into view first, lean and sinewy with his shirt sleeves rolled up as he heaved an ax into a log. The cabin appeared next, a sturdy structure, bigger than Burke’s had been. At least two rooms by his guess.
Another movement snagged Seth’s gaze. A small figure shifted near the cabin’s door. A child? The dark head lifted, revealing...yes, a child. But older than he’d thought. Maybe ten or eleven.
The man saw him then and spun to face him. Seth rode forward, keeping his posture relaxed to show he was no threat. About twenty strides away from the building, he reined in.
“Howdy.” The man wiped his brow on his sleeve and settled an arm around the shoulder of the girl who’d come to stand by him. “We don’t get much company. Are you headed toward one of the forts?” He looked about Seth’s age, maybe a couple years older. Just right for the man they sought. And his expression seemed pleasant enough.
Seth offered a friendly smile. “Actually, I’m looking for my brother who lives in this area. Do you know Simeon Grant?”
The man’s look changed in an instant, splitting in a wide grin. “I do. Are you Seth or Samuel?”
Relief washed through Seth’s chest like a river breaking through a dam. They’d made it. “Seth. Does that mean you’re Joseph Malcom?”
“Sure am.” The man tucked the girl against him with an affectionate squeeze. “And this is Amelie, our oldest.” His gaze moved past Seth. “Where’s your brother?” Worry creased his brow.
This Homeward Journey Page 20