A Hot Mess

by Brandi Evans

  "Are you sure?"

  "Kiss me."

  Max finally opened his eyes and turned to me. His gaze roamed over me, searching, examining. The darkness in his baby-blues was almost a physical pain in my chest, and I moved closer until we were toe to toe.

  "I'm yours, Max," I reminded him, "and you're mine. Whatever happens to one of us happens to the other. If you hurt, I hurt."

  He cupped my cheeks with shaking hands. "I don't deserve you."

  "Kiss me, Max, and don't stop until you feel like you're in control again." I snaked my arms around his middle. "Kiss. Me."

  And, oh god, he did.

  He slammed his mouth to mine, and in one swift motion, he lifted me onto his desk. He deposited me right onto the letter opener he'd "threatened" me with the last time I'd been on his desk like this. I flipped the opener away with my left hand before it stabbed me, sending it clattering to the ground.

  I wrapped my arms and legs around Max, holding him with my entire body, with my entire being. His cock was already hard against my sex. I ground my hips against him, and I didn't stop, not even as he pushed me onto my back.

  He pawed at my skirt as I dry-humped him, frantically yanking the material out of the way until it was no longer a barrier between us. The soft clank of his belt and zipper being wrenched away quickly followed.

  "Last warning," he said, the tip of his cock tapping against my labia. "Once I'm inside you, nothing will be able to stop me."

  "Until you feel like you're in control again," I repeated.

  "Bree, I…" As he was closing his eyes, he eased his hips forward.

  A long groan slid from between my parted lips as he fitted his cock inside me, filling me, consuming me. He didn't start thrusting right away, either, which surprised me, given the state of his mood.

  "You are the best of me, Bree."

  I was about to tell him I felt the same way, but then, he was pounding into me. Every stroke was merciless pleasure. I closed my eyes and dug my fingernails into his back and held on. I arched my back, desperate to create more contact. Every thrust of his cock inside my sex was pure delight.

  "Max." I was teetering on the tightrope between pleasure and pain. "Max."

  He fucked me harder, and I whimpered as the familiar tendrils of climax swirled in my core. Every muscle in my body drew in on itself, and my breath stalled in my lungs. Instinctively, I tightened the inner muscles of my sex around his cock, intensifying the sensations of having him pounding inside me.

  Time folded in on itself, and I exhaled, suspended in the milliseconds before climax. The bustle of activity outside Max's office became a muffled blur, as if I was trying to hear underwater. Then, suddenly, I was floating, flying. Falling? I was everywhere all at once, pleasure fracturing me.

  The sound of my cries would have surely reverberated through the entire building if Max hadn't clamped a hand over my mouth seconds before my orgasm seized me. His hold was almost vise-grip powerful, and I could only imagine how this might look to any passersby who happened upon us, but as quickly as the idea came, I stopped thinking and just surrendered.

  I sat snuggled with Max on his office sofa, satisfied and sleepy. We hadn't spoken much since we'd moved from the desk, but that was okay. He needed the silence, and I needed to come off this high. Still, as much as I wanted to, I knew we couldn't stay in here forever.

  "We're about ten minutes past time for Todd to prep us on all our designer meetings today," I said.

  "I know." But he didn't move.

  I pushed into a sitting position so I could see his face. He didn't look at me. He wasn't fully back yet, I could tell. Creases marred his forehead, almost as if he were in physical pain. Something was still bothering him. Something dark lived deep in this gorgeous man's psyche, and Giselle was a part of it. She may not be the root cause, but she was undoubtedly a splinter keeping the wound from healing properly. The longer she was around, the more Max would suffer and I wanted to protect him from that snake's venom.

  "I'm canceling this afternoon's meeting with Giselle," I said. It wasn't a question; I was telling him. "All future meetings, for that matter. There are other wonderful designers here. We don't need her. In fact, I already told Todd to have security escort her and Théo off the premises."

  Slowly, his lips curled up, and he settled his gaze on me. "You ordered Todd to remove them? And he did it?"

  I nodded. "I hope that's okay." I wasn't worried for my sake, but I didn't want Todd to get into trouble on my account. "I can't stand the way she hurts you, and I want to protect you from her cruelty."

  Because I love you.

  He traced an index finger along my jaw. "And here, I thought it was my job to protect you."

  "Welcome to the twenty-first century, where women are protectors, too."

  He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Thank you, Bree, but if you like Giselle's designs—"

  "I'd rather we sell potato sacks at Red Light than put you in a position where you have to deal with that bitch for another second."

  "Ordering around my employees and making decisions for the business I own… Tell me, my sweet, did I lose control of my corporation to you while I wasn't looking?" But he remained all smiles as he'd said it.

  "Sorry—not sorry," I said, flashing a smile of my own.

  "My Bree." He tucked a strand of hair behind my left ear. "Every day that I wake up next to you, I wonder what I could have done so right to deserve you. You mean the world to me. You do know that, right?"

  "I do?" I didn't mean to sound so awestruck, but that was hard, considering I was awestruck.

  "Unquestionably."

  And then came the tears, pressing relentlessly against the backs of my eyes.

  I cradled his cheeks between my hands. That was as close as Max had ever come to telling me he loved me. "You mean everything to me, too, Max."

  I kissed him then, and we made love again. Slowly, this time, gently, the exact antithesis of last time but every bit as enjoyable and orgasmic.

  As I rode the ebbing waves of my climax, I had a moment of clarity, one of those perfect moments where everything makes perfect sense. Max didn't trust easily, and those wounds ran deep. And for whatever reason, he couldn't—or wouldn't—share that part of himself with me. Yes, I had my own secrets but not for much longer. I'd already planned to tell him everything, to remove any barrier between us I may be causing. There was something else I could do to show him, though, in every way, I trusted him explicitly, and hopefully, in return, he would know he could trust me explicitly, too.

  "Let's go to the Swingers' Ball," I said.

  His eyes went wide. "Excuse me?"

  "Let's go to the Swingers' Ball." I sat up straight and looked him square in the eyes. "The entire scenario still scares me, but if there's anyone I trust to keep me safe in scary situations, it's you."

  "Bree, my sweet, you don't—"

  I pressed my lips to his, silencing him. "I know I don't have to. I want to. With you. For you."

  He cinched his arms around me until he squeezed away all the air between us, and then he kissed his forehead to mine. "I will always protect you, in any circumstance. In the dungeon or out, I won't let anything happen to you. I give you my word."

  I pressed my lips to his, confident that going to the Swingers' Ball was the right decision.

  Chapter 5

  Why, again, had I agreed to go to the Swingers' Ball?

  Since we'd canceled our session with Giselle, we'd been able to finish our day's events early, and Max had ordered us an early dinner and had it delivered to his private suite on the top floor of his hotel. We'd spent the time discussing the Swingers' Ball in blissful privacy. The privacy, however, had been a double-edged sword. Spending time with Max always made for a good time, but without being constantly bombarded with interruptions, the reality of what I'd agreed to had set in.

  "Please understand," I said to Max over our Szechuan Chicken. "I'm not trying to back out. It's just…" I set down my
chopsticks. "…I'm just suddenly very aware of what I've agreed to, and I'm crazy nervous."

  "I'd be slightly worried if you didn't have second thoughts. It's a big step for us."

  He chomped into a crispy egg roll, and a little stream of juice leaked from the deep-fried goodness and ran down his chin. I had to fight the urge to lick it clean. Two of my biggest vices combined into one beautiful moment: Maxwell Penn and Chinese food. Heaven help me.

  Focus, I scolded myself as he grabbed a napkin from the table and dabbed the mess away.

  "After talking with Viv," I said, "I'm more at ease about the whole thing, but I'm kind of more terrified, too. I'm not sure how that works, but—"

  Max placed his index finger to my lips. "This is big. What you're feeling is normal, and just so you know, it's not too late to back out. If you were just on some post-orgasmic high when you said—"

  "No," I said quickly, my lips moving against the finger pressed against them. Before trying to speak again, I took that hand and tugged it to my chest. "I do want to go, Max. I do. Anxiety is just making my brain dumb."

  "Your brain is many things, Bree, but dumb is not one of them."

  "You know what I mean." I kissed his knuckles and then returned his hand to where I'd been holding it. "I trust you. I do. It's everyone else I'm afraid of, and, yes, I know you and Viv and Brock have all said that monitors walk around, enforcing safe words but…" I closed my eyes and released a long breath. "…what if another Dom doesn't respect what I want?"

  "Then I'll kill him." His words were finite and had my eyes snapping back open.

  An unyielding set of hard lines held the face of the man I loved hostage, and I knew, without a doubt, he meant what he'd said. He would kill to protect me.

  I tightened my grip on his hand as he tightened his on mine.

  "No one will hurt you. I'd sacrifice anything to keep you safe."

  "I'd do the same for you."

  "Let's just hope it never comes to that."

  "Agreed." I released his hand and grabbed my chopsticks. "Viv mentioned the party provided subs armbands to show their preferences. How do we—"

  "Shit. The armbands. Sorry. I forgot about them."

  He pushed to his feet and grabbed his briefcase from where he'd left it on the entry table. When he returned, he produced a piece of paper with the Restrained Fantasies' logo embossed across the top and held the page to face me.

  "This's the invitation and RSVP. Read it, and when you're done, we'll discuss it. I want you to be comfortable with your decision. That said, as you read, let your body do most of the thinking, not your head."

  "Yes, Sir," I said and began reading.

  Master Penn,

  As a Restrained Fantasies member in good standing, you are cordially invited to a Swingers' Ball on Saturday, June 2nd. Feel free to bring the sub(s) of your choice, or if you prefer, you may indulge in any of the unattached subs attending the event.

  All subs will wear armbands to show their preferences. These bands are a contract between you and any sub you choose to partner with. Any Dom/Domme disrespecting a sub's choice will be escorted off the premises and their membership revoked. NO EXCEPTIONS. Members' safety is of paramount importance to Restrained Fantasies.

  Please read the following descriptions of band colors and commit them to memory.

  Red: the sub will allow touching over their clothes only.

  Orange: subs will allow touching under the clothes, including being stripped.

  Yellow: sub consents to blowjobs or cunnilingus—with conditions. A "+" on the armband relays the sub is willing to perform the act on others; a "-" means they are willing to have the act performed on them. No marks indicate they are open to either.

  Green: sub consents to vaginal intercourse. As always, safe sex practices will be strictly enforced.

  Blue: sub consents to anal sex. Again, safe sex practices will be strictly enforced.

  Indigo: light flogging, cropping, or spanking is okay. No strikes that draw blood will be allowed.

  Black: sub is willing to do anything or have anything done to them. Again, safe sex practices will be strictly enforced.

  If RSVP'ing with a specific sub, please check the colored band/bands he or she would like so we can have them ready for you.

  Per club policy, all attendees must either be a member himself/herself or be pre-approved by club owners before the event.

  Sincerely,

  Masters Stephen and Brock

  I pointed to the marks Max had already made on the invitation. He'd penciled in an X on red, orange and yellow; he'd put a question mark on indigo. He'd also marked green with a question mark but had erased it.

  "You pre-filled this out for me?" The idea irked me. He was my Dom, yes, so I willingly gave him power over much of my sex life. Still, this felt as if it'd gone a step too far.

  "No, no. Nothing like that. These are simply the scenarios I thought you'd be comfortable with. You're under no obligation to agree with my assessment. That's why I marked them in pencil, my sweet."

  "Oh." Of course, that was why he'd marked them in pencil; I probably would have realized that sooner if this entire scenario wasn't frying my brain.

  "I want you to enjoy yourself, Bree. I get off on watching you come. That's no secret." He took my hand and tugged me until I was straddled across his lap. "Do you remember the last time Karen and Garrett came for a visit?"

  I swallowed, nodding. I always remembered Karen and Garrett's visits—intimately so.

  "Watching you and Karen taking turns sucking my cock while Garrett ate your pussy until you were shaking apart on the bed." He tightened his arms around me. "I want more of those moments in our life."

  Our.

  "Max, I…" But words failed me.

  "Of course, if you'd prefer it was me, and me alone, getting you off…" He unbuttoned the top button on my dress, the second, the third. "…I'm okay with that, too. Watching you come apart at my hand will never grow old."

  With practiced precision, he had me naked in his lap in no time. Nimble fingers parted my labia, and he eased two fingers inside me.

  A shiver chased over me, goosebumps trailing in their wake. "Max—" No, the moment had changed, and my words needed to change to reflect that. "Sir."

  Rewarding my submission, he stroked my clit as he fingered me, his motions slow and deliberate. "As much as I love making you come, I'd also love to see your body spread open while other Doms play with you, too, emphasis on play." He twisted his fingers inside my sex. "I don't want any cock here except mine. This pussy's mine. You're mine. Do you understand what that means?"

  I nodded. What he'd said was everything I wanted, too. I had to swallow hard and fight back the swell of emotions trying to crawl into my throat.

  "Is that why you erased the initial marks you made on the option about vaginal intercourse?" I asked.

  He nodded. "You're mine, Bree."

  "And you're mine."

  "Unquestioningly."

  He took my lips hostage before I could respond, which was probably a good thing.

  Unquestioningly.

  Did that mean as much from him as I wanted it to?

  Our relationship was changing. When we first got together, he'd told me he wanted a relationship like Garrett and Karen's, two people who'd been together over fifteen years, completely in love, but when it came to sex, they had an agreement. No restrictions on lovers but no secrets, either. They had a very open but very trusting relationship.

  It was what Max had said he wanted between us. He'd even asked me once how I felt about, as he'd said it, taking on multiple cocks at one time. While the idea intrigued me, I hadn't been ready, and I wasn't sure I'd ever be. What I'd done with Garrett and, to a lesser extent, with Karen, had been superficial. I'd never fucked Garrett. We'd performed oral sex on each other, but there'd been no true penetration.

  I'd thought that lack of intercourse had been Max's doing because he hadn't wanted to push me, but now, I wasn't
so sure. He seemed to be refining what he'd said he wanted, and that refinement meant more of him was exclusively mine.

  And more of me was exclusively his.

  Unquestioningly.

  "Take me to bed, Sir. There's only one cock I ever want here." I tightened my sex around his fingers. "And I want it here, now."

  But he didn't take me to bed; he took me right then and there. Between one heartbeat and the next, he pushed to his feet and deposited me on the table, and he brought me to orgasm right next to our takeout.

  When it was over and I'd recovered the ability to use my hands again, I erased the pencil marks Max had made on the invitation and made new ones in ink.

  Red, orange, yellow-, and indigo.

  I'd gone and done it now.

  I stared at my reflection in the Restrained Fantasy's gift shop mirror and shook my head. The outfit Viv had put together for me was a leather and fishnet number. A long-sleeved, knee-length fishnet "dress" covered a black bikini top and bottoms. The weave was medium-sized and gave me an illusion of coverage while also being a bit risqué. Viv had paired the ensemble with black knee-high boots similar to the ones she currently wore, and she'd pulled my hair into a French braid. To complete the look, I wore the leather wrist cuffs Max had gifted me for our one-month anniversary.

  The cuffs were the only thing Max had explicitly asked me to wear tonight, and I knew what that meant. In our usual BDSM play, he preferred me naked save for my cuffs. He liked using them as a quick and easy way to restrain me, and I had no doubt he planned to continue that trend tonight.

  Cuffs aside, the outfit had another big plus in its favor: I'd been wearing fishnet the night Max and I had first become lovers.

  As outfits went, it was indeed sexy, but, but, but… "I'm not sure about this," I called to Viv through the fitting room door.

  "What do you mean?"

  I unlatched the door, and she slipped inside.

  Her jaw, quite literally, dropped. "Whoa." She grabbed both my arms by the biceps. "I don't usually admire other women's arms but damn. When you said you lifted, you weren't kidding. I mean, you're not bulky or anything." She released my arms. "Did I mention damn?"