by A. R. Perry
“I’m so happy for you.”
Some of his good vibes latch on to me and for a moment I feel lighter. Forget about Jesse. All I have to do is find the right time to tell Braden and then he won’t have anything on me. Neither will Michelle. Then they can both go screw each other for all I care.
“And uh…about what I said in there…” Braden squeezes the back of his neck looking more uncomfortable than I’ve ever seen him.
Right. The whole girlfriend thing.
“What you said?” I ask, playing it off. Truth is I feel like my heart might burst out of my chest. Jesse drama I can do. Being told I’m not girlfriend material, and it was a slip, not so much.
“Yeah. The whole girlfriend thing. We’ve never talked about it and it was kind of messed up for me to assume but I was wondering if maybe if I haven’t screwed it up if you would want to be—”
As cute as watching him struggle is… “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
He sighs. “Yeah. That.”
A part of me wants to mess with. “I don’t know…” He shoots me a stricken look and I crumble. “I’m just screwing with you.”
“So…that’s a yes?”
“That’s a hell yes.”
He beams at me and intertwines our fingers. The smile I had been wearing a few seconds ago fades. Would he even want to be my boyfriend if he knew about Jesse?
I chew on my lip as he turns into our subdivision. Telling him now might ruin his visit with his mom. But telling him later might end in this whole thing going kablam because I’ve lied to him.
Just tell him.
“So—”
“Hey, what’s your mom doing?”
My gaze flies to our house where my mom is pacing on the grass and talking into her phone with hands waving through the air. She’s wearing her bright pink workout pants and her hair is in a messy ponytail so she must have gone for a run. But she’s normally calm after a run. I can feel her nervous energy from here.
“Shit.”
“What?” Braden asks as he slows down.
“I’ve kind of ignored her all day. You might want to say goodbye to your girlfriend ‘cause there is a good chance she kills me.”
“I can talk—”
“Nope.” I hold up a hand silencing him right as her eyes catch on to his car and she stops dead in her tracks. “Seeing you right now is the worst idea.” I unbuckle my seat belt and reach for my purse as Braden rolls to a stop in front of our mailbox. “Go spend time with your mom and let me deal with this. After all, I have almost eighteen years reeling her in.”
“Okay.” Braden leans in to give me a kiss, but I stop him with a hand.
“Bad idea.” I prop open the door and give him a wary smile. “See you tomorrow. Hopefully.”
I stall for as long as I can, waving to Braden and watching his taillights disappear around the corner. The whole time I can feel Mom’s gaze on me similar to a burning hot laser. She hasn’t said a word, which isn’t a good sign.
After a deep breath, I turn to face her and wince. Her eyes are wild and she’s clutching her phone in a white-knuckled grip. No doubt she’s imagining it’s my neck.
“Mom—”
She holds up a hand and cracks her neck. “Not a word. You disappeared and didn’t tell me where you were for hours! You could have been hurt. You could have been dead. And although I’m glad to see you’re not, you’re also so grounded.” She points to the house and like a wounded puppy, I tuck my head and march across the grass. “No TV.” She calls from behind me. “No computer. No phone.” She reaches inside my pocket and yanks out my cell. “No fun. You will go to school and work and do homework. That’s it.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek to keep my mouth shut. She hasn’t given me a timeline yet and I don’t want to extend it.
“And after I’ve calmed down, we will discuss the phone call I had with your principal. Now go to your room.”
With a huff I do as she says. The last time I was grounded I was twelve. And although I agree that not calling her was wrong, she also has to realize that in a few months I will be eighteen and don’t have to call her ever if I don’t want to.
I slam my door, letting her know my exact thoughts about this whole thing without saying a word. Just my luck. I get a boyfriend and my mom swoops in and rips away what social life I have.
My senior year just keeps getting better and better.
“You still grounded?” Braden asks as I slide his drink across the counter.
“Oh yeah. I asked her when this ridiculous punishment would be over last night and she tacked on another day. At least she gave me back my phone.”
He winces with a hiss. “Offer still stands.”
I run a wet rag over the counter and roll my eyes. “If you tried to plead my case, she might extend it until graduation. As it stands, she only refers to you as my accomplice.”
He chuckles and takes a seat at the table closest to the counter where all his schoolbooks are spread. I’ve been on lockdown for almost two weeks so we’ve had to be creative. Plus, she never listed tutoring as a revoked privilege, and it counts as schoolwork. Or so I’ve been telling myself. All it will take is for her to pop in here and I will be grounded until graduation.
“Maybe the upcoming holiday will put her in a generous mood,” Zari says from my side where she’s crouched counting the milks we have in the fridge.
“Doubtful.”
“Did you explain what happened?”
“I tried the whole my phone died thing, but she had it in her hand and saw it was at 40 percent so that kind of kill my credibility.”
“That’s where you went wrong,” Braden calls as he thumbs through the notes I made for our upcoming test. “Can’t start out on a lie. Parents expect that.”
“Sounds like you have experience lying to parents,” Zari says as she pushes through the door to the back.
His eyes glint. “I might have been a troublemaker at one point.”
“You’re a troublemaker now.” I smile at a customer as they exit. “As far as I can tell, trouble befell me the moment you stepped into my life.”
“Yet you wouldn’t have it another way. That midnight rendezvous outside your window the other night proves my point.” The chiming of his phone draws his attention, wiping the smile from his face as he rejects the call.
“Who was that?’ I ask.
“Michelle.” He squeezes the back of his neck as he reads over the notes. “She’s been all over me this last week saying we need to talk.”
My stomach drops. “Oh. What about?”
“With her, it can be anything. But my guess is her newest boyfriend isn’t working out, so she’s trying to get in good with me again. That ship sailed the moment she slept with Jesse.”
The jug of milk I was putting away slips from my hand and shoots white liquid every direction when it lands on the ground. “Shit.”
I stoop down to grab the damn jug before all the milk ends up on the floor.
“You okay?” Braden asks as his head pops into view over the counter.
“Yeah. Just my klutzy self.” I let out a nervous laugh and soak up the milk. “What were you saying? Something about Jesse and Michelle.”
“Yeah. I guess he was her rebound. Kinda messed up to go right for the best friend. Pretty much insures I will never be interested in her again.”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Is it that big of a deal?” I ask, keeping my eyes downcast so he can’t read the guilt plain on my face.
“Considering she did it in some childish attempt to get back at me for breaking up with her—yes. Besides, have you met Jesse? He’d never let it go.” Braden leans over and tosses me a clean rag from the counter. “It doesn’t matter. I broke up with her for a reason and that reason hasn’t changed. I mean Jesus, look what she did to your locker. She is, and will always be, a mean girl.”
His phone goes off, saving me from having to answer. I stand up on shaky legs and
take a deep breath, trying to calm the beating of my heart. I glance over to see Braden hang up and reach for his books. “I hate to bail, but my mom is being released right now.” He zips up his backpack and throws me a pained expression. “You okay with the bus? If not, I can swing back after we drop her off.”
I wave him off, feigning indifference. Inside, my heart is simultaneously plummeting and dancing. A night without him will give me time to figure out a new plan. Or the old one…I don’t know.
“Bus is fine. Text me later and let me know how things go.”
“Of course.” He braces his hands on the counter and jumps up, leaning over to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Mmm-hmm.” I give him a small wave as he leaves.
I busy myself with side work while my brain is going a mile a minute. I know for sure now that Braden has no clue about Jesse. Because if he did, there is no way he would have ever pursued me.
And now if I come clean it will seem as if I lied to him. Which I did.
I rest my forehead on my folded arms and concentrate on the consistent dripping of the sink. Today had taken a turn for the worst. Here I was looking forward to spending time with Braden even if that meant it was a few minutes here and there between customers. Now, I didn’t know how I would face him ever again.
My mom might have done me a huge favor when she grounded me. It would have been even better if she kept my phone so he had no way of reaching me, but no, she had to go all Mom and worry about me when I was home alone and walking home and wanted a way for her to get ahold of me.
“What’s wrong?” Zari’s question snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Why would something be wrong?” I ask, standing and reaching for the nearest thing to clean so it looks as if I’m working. Never know if Shredder is close behind.
“You have a look. Anyone ever tell you that you suck at hiding your emotions?”
Once or twice…
I pin her with a glare. “Or I purposefully do that to throw people off.”
Her eye roll is dramatic. “Uh-huh. Well, if you don’t want to tell me about it, then I’ll take Melody up on her offer and clock out early.” Her finger hovers over the computer screen, daring me to call her bluff or crumble.
I go with calling her bluff and shrug, moving to the other side of the counter to rinse out the blenders.
“Okay.” Her finger taps on the screen a few times before she unties her apron. “Well, I requested this week off since we are heading to my grandparents in Ohio for Thanksgiving.” She throws me a sympathetic look over her shoulder as she walks to the front door. “You sure you don’t want to talk about anything?”
Yes. “Nope. I’m good. Have fun in Ohio.”
“It’s Ohio,” she calls over her shoulder as the door closes.
I stare after her for a few seconds before snapping out of it. There is no point in talking to Zari about Braden. She will always and forever side with love and, in this case, him. After all, she’s known him longer than me and I know for a fact the first thing out of her mouth would be for me to come clean. Ugh. As if it’s easy. As if it won’t crush him and ruin this tiny spark I have going on for the first time in two years.
I’m actually surprised she hasn’t brought it up first. Maybe things would be different right now if she had.
I shake my head and get to work on all the crap we let pile up during our shift. The faster I get it done the faster I can get out of here. I hate having no buffer between me and Shredder.
An hour and so many dishes later, Shredder locks the door behind me, not even sparing a second glance as she turns and heads to the back to finish whatever she does back there. Nothing. Cough…cough…
I dig into my purse, searching for the earbuds I should have grabbed before stepping out into the bitter cold. November is coming to a close with an epic finale and bringing with it snow. I can smell it in the air and with the way everything seems to still. Since we have this week off for Thanksgiving, I’m not complaining, but that will all change when school starts back up.
Or maybe not. I do have an amazing boyfriend who might give me a ride to work this week.
“Stella.”
I jump at the sound of my name and spin around, clutching the first thing I grabbed in my purse in a tight fist. A quick glance down and my heart drops. Lip gloss. That will sure keep me safe.
I squint into the darkness, trying to make out the person who goes with the voice. Whoever it is spares me a heart attack and takes a step forward into the overhead lamp above the door.
Anxiety turns to irritation.
“What do you want, Jesse?” I ask as I toss my lip gloss into my bag with a little too much force.
“Awww. Could you for once try to act excited to see me?” He leans in close forcing me to lean away.
“I’m not that good of an actress.”
“Says the girl who’s pretended she’s not in love with me for the past two years.”
A shiver runs down my spine and I gag. “Please don’t say disgusting things like that. I’d hate to ruin your expensive shoes with my vomit.”
Jesse leans forward and places a hand beside my head, trapping me between the brick pillar lining the door and his body. “Oh come on, is that any way to treat the first guy you ever loved?”
I regret ever telling him that. “So young. So stupid.” I shuffle to the side, but Jesse leans in propping himself on an elbow. “What do you want?” I snap, my heart rate kicking up a notch because it’s pitch-black and there isn’t a soul but us in sight. It’s the only time I’ve ever wished for Melody to appear.
“I want you.”
I feel my face crumple in disgust, but Jesse doesn’t even flinch. “What game are you playing out now, huh? Why would you want the fat girl when you can get anyone else you want, Mr. Popular?”
His grin is devious, his head tilting to the side, blocking the view of the road. “I had to say those things to protect my reputation. But you know I’ve never wanted anyone but you.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have broadcast those pictures to an entire party thirty seconds after taking them.”
“So young. So stupid,” he parrots my sarcastic words and leans in.
“Back off.” My head slams into the wall as I jerk away. “Braden won’t be too happy when he hears his best friend hit on his girlfriend.”
“Former best friend. Besides, you won’t tell him because then you would have to explain our history and Braden isn’t a fan of sharing his girls, past or present with me.”
“How do you even know about that? And what do you mean former best friend?”
Jesse’s thumb trails across my forehead making my skin shiver in disgust. I swear he thinks the reaction is positive because a smile lights his face.
“We might have had words.”
My stomach flops. He’s lying. There’s no way Jesse talked to him in the couple hours since Braden left. Not when he was with his mom. I roll my lower lip between my teeth, trying and failing not to show that Jesse is getting to me.
“Can’t you just leave me alone? Jesus. You got what you wanted. You’re popular at my expense. Why can’t you let me be happy?”
“Because you’re mine.” He plants a kiss on the tip of my nose that has me gagging again before leaning away. “See you around, Stell.” And with that he walks away, leaving me confused and anxious.
I run a hand down the side of my face, feeling the heat that warms my cheeks. Calling Braden and taking him up on his offer to give me a ride home crossed my mind, but his mom was finally home and I didn’t want to come across as some kind of needy girlfriend.
When I’m sure Jesse is gone, I walk to the bus stop, leaving my earbuds in my purse so I can hear if anyone was approaching. Not that Jesse will do something dumb like abduct me. But his weird-ass behavior has certainly put me on edge.
I fall into my bed once I get home. The damn bus was late and I swear the temperature dropped twenty degree
s as I waited. Thank God we are off for a week. It makes avoiding Jesse easier so long as he doesn’t do anything stupid like show up to my work again. It also gives me a week to figure out how to break the news to Braden. Because tonight has only proven that I have to tell him the truth even if I lose Braden in the process. There is no way I can continue letting Jesse lord something over my head. If Braden cares about me like he says, he’ll have to get over it.
It’s been two days and no word from Braden. The impulse to text him the night he picked up his mom was overwhelming, but I resisted. I told myself it was because I didn't want to interrupt family time. In reality, it was because I'm a chicken and I knew he would sense something was off.
The next afternoon I worked up the courage and texted him that we need to talk. Nothing. No response for two days now. He’s read it. Those four little letters under my message tell me so. Annoying the hell out of me.
I just can’t figure out why he isn’t responding, and as the hours pile up, nausea grows in my stomach.
Giving in, I send a meme about Thanksgiving. Something about Dory eating too much pie. Innocent. Innocuous. And not desperate. Then I sit on my bed and stare at the screen. After a few minutes, I see that he read it and…nothing. No three little dots. No text back.
What. The. Hell?
Any other day he jumps to respond. Hell, he drove to my house just to make out with me through my open window like criminals.
Something is wrong and I’m pretty sure it goes by the name of Jesse.
I hop off my bed, stuffing my phone into the pocket of Braden’s hoodie as I scan the floor for my boots. The damn snow hasn’t let up all morning, but I’m not going to let that stop me. My mom’s at work so she won’t be here either.
Fingers crossed that she isn’t tracking my phone with notifications the second I leave because I don’t want to spend the rest of senior year grounded.
Yup. I have officially become the girl I sworn I never would by letting a guy dictate my actions and risk the relationship of trust I’ve built with my mom over eighteen years.