by A. R. Perry
After swinging so long that my face is numb, I jog home. Mom’s still at work so I hop in the shower, hissing as the hot water runs down my frozen skin making it burn. I have no clue how I’ll make it through tomorrow at school, but I don’t want to be a zombie on top of it.
I rush through my routine, making it to my bed in an impressive twelve minutes. My phone is still on my bed, taunting me. Ignoring it is the best option, but I know I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t at least check.
Cringing, I reach for it. Devon’s name lights up my screen. I have it set to where it’s just the name and not the message, which leaves me with two options. Read it and not be able to sleep or not read it and not sleep. I go with option two figuring there has to be something to the whole ignorance is bliss and delete our whole chain so I’m not tempted later.
Next, I check my email. It’s Mrs. Rivera. Not at all what I was expecting. After scanning the message, I sag against the headboard.
She found a replacement tutor for Braden. I don’t know if I should be relieved or sad. I hadn’t thought past tomorrow so I’m not even sure if I would have shown up Tuesday. Or if he would have for that matter.
This is a good thing. I’m already stuck as his lab partner and Lord knows how I’ll handle that. Having to meet him off campus and teach him all while I’m struggling with wanting to kiss him and punch him at the same time probably isn’t the best idea.
So it’s good. This is good.
I set my alarm for the next day then set my phone to vibrate, snuggling into the warm covers as I toss it on the nightstand.
Yeah, tomorrow is going to suck.
My stomach is a churning mess as I wait in the parking lot, jumping every time a flash of silver pulls in. This is stupid. So stupid. We broke up. He’s with his evil, conniving, backstabbing ex. That should be enough karmic retribution.
One slight problem though. He’s back with an ex who hooked up with Jesse. Jesse being the same reason he dumped me. It makes no sense and the only conclusion I can come up with is that he’s been playing me all along. Sadness has turned to full-blown rage. So now, I want answers. And since I can’t storm over to his house because I still have respect for his mother and his father might have me hauled off in handcuffs, a school ambush is my only option.
Seven minutes until the bell rings. Seven minutes isn’t enough time to drag the truth out. I crack my neck and take a deep breath, running over all the information I acquired in the past week.
Either Jesse or Michelle told him about my past relationship. I’m assuming it was Jesse since he reconciled with Michelle. Or, Michelle use this as her ace and made it seem like she cared by telling him. Jury is out on that one.
He’s avoided the café ever since the breakup, which means he doesn’t want to confront me and won’t be expecting this.
Sloppy public displays of affection are his new thing judging by the video Michelle posted of them making out at a party. Which is funny because he told me parties weren’t his thing.
So this circles me right around to him being a lying piece of crap just like Jesse, which also justifies my rage.
My nails jam into the soft flesh of my palm as I take a steadying breath. That breath reroutes and turns into a cough when his SUV pulls into the parking lot and turns down the same aisle I’m standing in. A moment of panic overtakes me and I stumble backward, knocking into a black Jetta before ducking behind a nearby truck.
Braden pulls into a spot a few over from where I’m ducked down like a freaking creeper. I can see him tap his head against the steering wheel a few times before straightening. His face points toward the building and I swear he’s more nervous than me.
That thought gives me the courage to step out from my hiding spot as he approaches. The parking lot is empty now that we have only five minutes before the first bell. That’s how he notices me right away. His eyes betray him, lighting the same way they used to predumping. But the moment passes as quickly as it came, leaving behind a glare that could rival mine on the best day.
With my nerves shoving my heart into my throat to beat a wild rhythm in the hollow of my neck, I grab his arm. “We need to talk.”
At the contact, Braden shakes me off, his jaw ticking as he tries to sidestep me. “I think we said all we needed to the other day.”
Oh he thinks so? Well, screw that. I maneuver in front of him and press my palm to his chest. I can tell it caught him off guard because his feet stumble and for a brief moment his hand settles on mine. When he realizes what he’s done, his fingertips dig into my skin and he throws my hand off him as if it’s some disgusting bug.
It hurt. The hatred in his eyes hurts. The fact that he would rather be with Michelle than hear me out hurts. Fire ignites in my chest and I can’t help yelling, “Well, screw you, then!”
He whirls around and I swear if I was a guy he might have come right for me. Instead, he hikes his backpack higher on his shoulder and pins me with the iciest glare I’ve ever seen. “I’m good, but maybe you can hit up Jesse again.”
The words feel like a slap to the face. Guess he doesn’t have to hit me to hurt me. “Are you freaking kidding me?” All my thought-out points go out the window. “So you’re telling me it’s not okay for me, but it’s perfectly fine for Michelle? Or is it because she’ll jump into bed with you and I won’t?”
“It’s because she’s been honest. About everything. But, I guess should be thanking you for not jumping into bed with me. I would hate to have double dipped.”
“You’re such a prick.”
“Why don’t you direct some of that anger at yourself? I didn’t do anything wrong here.”
“No. You only ran to your ex two seconds after dumping me. Actually no, you crawled back to her before you even had the balls to dump me. Which is funny because you claimed you didn’t want her after she hooked up with your best friend. But maybe this was all just foreplay for you two. Break up. Get with other people and come back all hot for each other again.”
We’ve stepped closer together with every horrible thing we’ve said. Red splotches color his cheeks. His breath puffs across my lips with every erratic inhale. The heat from his body makes me want to pull him close so my lips can consume his and sock him right in the stomach in equal measure.
His jaw ticks once, twice. Then his lets out a bitter laugh. “I can’t believe I ever saw anything in you. You’re a self-involved, cheating bitch.”
“And you’re an egotistical—” The word cheating slices through whatever harsh thing I was about to say. “Wait…cheating? What the hell are you talking about”
Braden rolls his eyes, taking a step backward. “No need to lie. It’s out in the open and we’re over.” The bell rings in the distance. “And now I’ll be late, so thank you for that too. Detention is exactly what I wanted after this.” He thrusts a flattened palm at me with a disgusted upturn of his lip.
When he turns to leave, I snag his shirt. “I never cheated on you.”
He shakes me off. “Lying isn’t a good look.”
My short legs make it hard to keep up as he speed walks toward the front doors where kids are all funneling inside. “Who said I cheated on you?”
All he does is scoff.
Then it clicks. Someone told him I slept with Jesse while we were together. Not two years ago.
“I never cheated on you!” I shout, drawing the attention of a few stragglers. “I swear, Braden. I would never do that.”
His feet falter, but he keeps on walking. Too bad we’re headed in the same damn direction.
I slow my pace when he rounds the corner headed for first period. Eyes follow me. I’m sure by now Michelle has found a way with the addition of the lovely make-out video to fill everyone in on my fall from grace.
Janelle catches my eye with a smirk and an infuriating arch of an eyebrow as I’m about to enter the classroom. Guess she chose to be in good graces with the devil after all.
Or…
I was played. So playe
d. I underestimated what Michelle was willing to do, figuring she’d go low like Jesse and attack my appearance. Breaking us up. Making me out to be a manipulative cheater. Basically making me out in her own image.
Jesse tilts his chin at me as I enter the classroom, a devious smile on his face as Braden pulls his hoodie down low on his forehead and tries his best to ignore his former friend. He does however spare me a glance and in that moment, he lets his face open just a little to show me he might have absorbed what I said after all.
I slump in my chair, giving him my back. Making a scene in the middle of class is the last thing I want. Lunch is my next best option but I will have to catch him before he goes into the cafeteria. Michelle will never let me near him now that her claws are firmly in place.
With a slow exhale, I calm my thoughts just as Mr. Thatcher launches into today’s lesson. A lesson that is having a hard time fitting into my brain because for the first time I can’t feel Braden’s eyes on me. Instead, a creeping iciness makes its way up my spine. There’s only one person who has that effect and I have a feeling he’s in on Michelle’s plan.
I bolt out of class the second the third period bell rings. Someone yelps as I clip their shoulder. On a good day I would have stopped to make sure they were okay, but today I have my sights set on reaching the cafeteria first.
This plan is so much worse than ambushing him in the parking lot. At least out there half the school wasn’t funneling through one set of doors. Out there a huge blowup wouldn’t be caught on hundreds of cameras.
I kind of wish we lived in the days my mom talked about when you could do something this stupid and it wouldn’t fly at the speed of Twitter.
I scan the faces of the kids entering, hoping and praying I’m not spotted lurking around the corner like a creeper.
Michelle enters, flanked by her blind followers. All three are the picture of ease, laughing and joking not even noticing my stink eye or the way two of our football players strip them with their eyes.
My phone chimes in my pocket making me jump. Crap. It’s Zari. I forgot that I needed to avoid her too. I catch her in the crowd, scanning just like I am. No doubt she found out about Braden and Michelle this morning since she’s been off the grid all vacation deep in the Ohio woods where her family owns a cabin. Even if she had reception, her family is big on togetherness and has a habit of confiscating phones. Seriously. I’ve been to dinner at her house.
Her gaze catches me a second before I duck behind the wall. Balls. I was hoping to avoid this inquisition.
She closes the distance in a few determined steps. Her mouth opens then closes as she whips around behind her where an angry shout tears through the hallway. I’m running toward the sound before my brain even has a chance to rationalize.
I elbow my way through noisy students all headed toward the commotion, cell phones out, poised and ready to film whatever piece of the drama they can. Drama I’m certain includes my ex-boyfriend. Which ex is the question. But I know. Deep down I know it’s both of them. There was a look in Braden’s eyes during first period. A look I’ve never seen before.
A body slams into the lockers to my right as I push past the last row of students. Jesse’s face is bloody. Swollen and turning purple as Braden grips two fistfuls of his shirt and throws him into the chipped lockers again.
Braden’s lips pull back as he inches closer, snarling in Jesse’s face. “Say it again.”
Jesse’s laugh is maniacal. “Don’t be mad that I ruined her for other guys. But you should see the way she bites her lip when—”
Braden’s fist smashes into Jesse’s face hard enough to make the back of his skull bounce off the locker, filling the room with the deafening sound.
My mouth goes dry. Air enters my lungs in strained gulps. A few eyes dart my way. They know. They were here freshman year. Or maybe they overheard whatever macho showdown is going on in front of me.
Tears I’ve held in the past week trail down my face, drawing attention from classmates in the form of phones being thrust into my personal space.
“You’re such a lying piece of shit.” Braden lets go of Jesse and steps away, wiping blood from under his nose on his wrist.
Guess Jesse got a few good shots too.
“Show him the pictures,” a voice calls behind me. Nasally. Overconfident with a smidge of contempt.
I don’t even have to look to know it’s Michelle.
Braden’s head whips toward the sound. Every head turns toward her actually with her yelling it and all.
“Show him the pictures,” she repeats, taking a step out of the crowd to fall in line with Jesse.
Voices humming around me swell until there is nothing but buzzing warring with the hammering of my heart in my ears. He doesn’t know. But then why does he think I cheated on him?
Braden’s brows furrow as he realizes I’ve been standing here watching him beat his former best friend’s face in. His mouth opens then closes mimicking the same loss of words I’m struggling with.
Michelle nudges Jesse with her elbow then tilts her head at his pocket no doubt where his phone is stored. After all these years he kept the damn pictures? It wasn’t enough to embarrass the hell out of me the first time and cast me out of any kind of social circle. He kept them. God, I hope he kept them for blackmail and not any other sick reason.
Not wanting to wait around for the fallout, I turn on my heel and shove my way through an even larger group of people headed for the door to the parking lot. Screw school. I’ll make it up in detention, but after my mom catches wind of this—and I’m certain she will as I duck away from Principal Sawyer headed toward the chaos—homeschool is in my future.
Arctic wind assaults my face and I shiver into myself, tucking my face into the warm fleece lining of my jacket. A few students linger by their cars, chatting and laughing, oblivious as to what went down inside. Until the multitude of videos get uploaded and shared and retweeted.
Growling, I whip out my phone and unlock it with shaky hands. I find the folder—on the first screen since it’s the first thing I look at every morning—and delete all my social media apps one by one.
All they ever do is bring me trouble, anyway.
I’m halfway to the bus stop when I hear approaching feet pounding into the sloshy snow behind me. I peer over my shoulder right as a hand latches on to my wrist and jerks me to a stop.
My mouth opens ready to berate whoever the hell it is who thinks they have a right to touch someone on the street when my gaze lands on a pair of too-blue eyes. Braden lets go when I don’t make a move to flee. He rocks on his heels and shoves a hand through his messy hair. My hand twitches in response because he hardly did anything to fix it and I ache to run my hand through the silky strands like I used to. Instead, I shove my hands into my jacket pocket and stare at him.
How the hell did he even ditch Principal Sawyer? I glimpse behind him, prepared to bolt if the stocky man comes barreling around the corner to detain us, but there is only us on the deserted street.
When the silence gets to the point of awkward, I clear my throat and struggle to find my voice. “Did you need something?” I hate how my voice cracks. How his knowing eyes soften when he sees the trail of tear smudges on my cheeks.
He shakes his head, mimicking my posture. “What happened in there…”
“You throwing your best friend into a locker?”
His jaw clenches. “He’s not my best friend. A best friend wouldn’t sleep with my girlfriend, then throw it in my face.”
I nod once. So he still thinks I cheated on him. “Well…sorry to be the cause of your falling out.”
“So, you did sleep with him?”
I turn my attention to the park across the street as hurt flared in my chest, needed the distraction so he wouldn’t see me cry. A little girl in a bright pink hat and matching jacket runs for the swings the second her mom sets her on the ground. I can hear the laughter from her as the little girl jumps on the big kid swing and kicks her fe
et, trying and failing to get the swing moving.
“Stella?”
I inhale and hold it to the count of three before exhaling. It’s better this way. The sharp pain in my chest as my heart throws a fit almost breaks me. “I gotta go.” I thumb over my shoulder before taking a step back just so I won’t be tempted to reach out and smooth that look off his face. Be it with my hands or my lips I’m not sure.
“Stella.” My name on his lips is a plea. And for the first time I hate the way it sounds.
With a shake of my head, I turn from him and walk as fast as the ice-covered ground will let me, never once looking back because if I do, I won’t be able to keep the truth from spilling out.
He doesn’t follow me. Not surprising since I just ripped his heart out and threw it in the gutter. I slam my head into the blue seat rest of the public bus. God, I would have given anything to erase the pain for him. To go back to that first day and not slam into his back and start the avalanche of emotions that nearly suffocated both of us.
But that isn’t possible so now I have to do what is right for both of us. And the right thing to do is let him go. After all, only 2 percent of couples stay together after graduation. Why ruin lives over that?
Braden hasn’t been at school all week. Neither has Jesse. Rumors flying around are that they got expelled, but considering Jesse wasn’t when he mass distributed half-naked photos of me, I won’t hold my breath.
At most they got suspended, which serves them right for acting like Neanderthals in the middle of a crowded hallway.
Zari runs to catch up with me as I’m heading out to the quad with my packed lunch. Yeah. I haven’t been stupid enough to walk into the cafeteria. I also might have struck up conversations with teachers and hidden in the bathroom between classes so I arrive at my next class right as the bell rings avoiding any passing conversations.