“I know it is. This is really awkward.”
“What is?” Alan placed his luggage on the bed.
“All this sneaking around and quick phone calls. Not the same before the baby.”
“You know this wasn’t going to be easy. And I definitely don’t need any more news coverage on the negative side. I have to talk to Alison.”
“When. When will you do that?”
That was the question he kept asking himself. He didn’t know when exactly, but he knew it would happen and soon. The more he dug deeper into this secret the more he felt low down and dirty. Alison didn’t deserve what he was going to put her through. He wasn’t leaving Alison.
“You seem like it’s a bother to you Tonya?”
“No. I think you should tell her because it may ease some of the tension you have.”
“Tension? I don’t have any tension.”
“Okay, you keep believing that.”
“I’ll try to work on seeing you before I leave.”
Chapter 37
Alison
“I—I can’t do it. I’m tired.”
“Mrs. Perry, you’re almost there, you can do it. I need one good push from you. The baby’s head is here, give us a push and your bundle of joy will make a debut. Mr. Perry, I need you to push her left leg back more.”
“Doctor, isn’t this enough? She might be hurting.”
The doctor winked. “Trust me, Mr. Perry, her leg isn’t a concern right now to her. Come on, Mrs. Perry, where’s that push…”
Alison took a deep breath, grunted, and pushed. “I’m tired I can’t.” She inhaled. Do…this.” And she exhaled.
“Mrs. Perry, that was good. The baby’s shoulders are out and guess what—”
Alan said, “It’s our baby girl. Our beautiful baby girl.”
“I want to see her.” Alison filled with exhaustion, lay back.
Dr. Gibson held the baby while Alan cut the umbilical cord. After Dr. Gibson wiped the baby, he wrapped her in a white blanket and lay her on Alison’s chest. For the first time, mom and baby looked at each other.
The nurse removed the baby and did all the preliminary checks. “Your beautiful little girl weighed in at eight pounds and three ounces. I guess she’s going to be a tall one...she’s twenty-two inches. Well, everything is fine. Her color is good, great oxygen. Here you are, Mom, your bundle of joy.”
Alison cuddled their baby girl close to her with Alan close by. A couple of hours passed with nurses in and out checking on Alison.
With blue scrubs and stethoscope peeking from her pocket the nurse said. “Mrs. Perry, I understand you’re going to breast feed, correct.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Let’s go over the technique. Sometime babies don’t latch on properly and it can be very annoying to the mom. Oh my, she’s so beautiful. Look at this head full of black curly hair. Now, Mr. Perry, you can watch because it’s good to help your wife…a bonding technique for you as well.”
Alan nodded.
The nurse assisted with placing the baby in a tucked positioned with the head supported by Alison’s hand, the body elongated on her forearm.
“This is easy, Alison, just like holding a football.” Alan said.
“Well, she’s not a football.”
The nurse laughed. “Your husband is right—we do call this position a football hold, but because it feels like you’re holding the baby backwards most women prefer to cuddle them in their arms as you’re doing.”
Alison and Alan marveled over their first born. They vowed to give their baby everything she needed and more. They, however, were very conscious not to spoil the baby, but teach her values and responsibility.
“Do you have a name for your little girl?”
Alison answered, her first name is Adanna, which means father’s loving daughter, it’s African-Ghana. Her middle name will be Adsila, that’s blossom in Cherokee.”
“My, you all are quite the family. So much love.” The nurse gathered Alison’s and the baby’s chart. “I’ll give you all some time alone.”
Alan took a seat and gazed out the enormous window watching the clouds move in a steady direction, while Alison fed their baby. She sang a beautiful lullaby and gently rubbed the baby’s face while she continued to feed. Soon she heard light snoring, Alan had fallen asleep.
***
“Mom, how are you?” Alison cradled the phone between her neck and shoulder.
“The question is, how are you? My little baby had a baby of her own.” Alison’s mom sniffed.
“We’re doing fine, Mom. I know you wanted to be here, but she wouldn’t wait. You left too soon.”
“I’ll be back dear. You’re not going to go through your first months alone with a newborn. Besides, I want to start spoiling my first grandchild.”
Quietness fell over the call. Only Alan’s light snoring Alison heard. She looked over to a sleeping Adanna. Alison’s eyes scrunched up and she adjusted.
“Mom, are you there?”
“I am. Alison.” There was a pause. “What’s going on with that girl?”
Alison annoyed. “What girl?”
“Young lady, don’t play games with me…the one that wants your husband.”
Alison didn’t want to go there with her mother. Not on this special occasion. “Tonya moved to Chicago.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Mom, she doesn’t want Alan—”
“Are you comfortable with that girl calling him, popping up at your house, he taking her side—”
“Okay, Mom, okay.” Alison whispered. “I’m not totally okay with all of that, but I trust my husband. If anything, I would’ve kept my eyes on her, but no need she’s gone.”
“Why did she move?”
“She had a job opportunity there and she wanted a change of scenery.”
“Well, good for her. Maybe she can find somebody else husband to flirt with. Not that, that’s right either.”
“No, it isn’t right. Mom, I’m trying really hard to keep unnecessary stress out my life. I will not worry about what someone else is or isn’t doing as long as it doesn’t affect me and mine. I need a peace of mind, especially now for Adanna.”
“I hear you baby. Look, one more thing. Your cousin Craig lives in Chicago.” Her mother sang out.
“And?”
“If you talk to that girl again, maybe you could steer her his way. He’s divorced now.”
“Nope. I’m not getting involved. I hadn’t heard from Craig in ages. Why didn’t we spend time with them, Mom? I would’ve love to seen uncle and auntie before they passed on.”
“Alison, your daddy’s brother, Uncle Benny, was something else. He drank and treated your Aunt Geraldine and other women like a dog. That man was awful. He wasn’t allowed at my house and I wasn’t taking you there.”
The gurgle from Adanna caused Alison to raise up and look over in the clear temporary hospital issued bassinet. She reached in and patted the sleeping infant. Oh, joys, a magnificent wonder she and Alan created. How could she have been selfish for so long?
“Alison. What are you doing?”
“Sorry, Mom. Adanna was making noises.”
“As I was saying. Craig lives there and it might be good for him to meet a southern girl.”
Alison’s eye rolled upward. “I have to go. Love you Mom.”
Chapter 38
Alan
“Great game guys. This was a good one. Winning on home turf. Yeah.” The coach pulled his fist in with a high knee. “Bring it in.”
The guys huddled in a circle, arms extended, fist closed and on one, two, and three they yelled, “Win, win, yeah, baby.” This became a catch on phrase when Alan and Daryl danced and chanted, their way to the locker room during their win over the Chicago Bears.
“Daryl, I need to talk to you.” Alan palmed his head.
“What’s going on man. You look like someone coming after you?”
Alan whispered. “I fuck
ed up man.” Shaking his head, “I’m screwed.”
“What?” Daryl looked around the almost empty locker room. “Is it those pictures again?”
“No, none of that. That’s nothing compared to what I’ve done.” Still holding his helmet, “Let’s talk when we leave.”
They walked slowly to the private parking lot of the Mercedes-Benz Stadium, still hearing distant roaring of fans, chant and praise the team on a job well done. Alan stopped short of his vehicle, scanned the parking lot, looking over his shoulder, and faced Daryl.
“Tonya is pregnant. Well, I mean she had the baby…a boy.”
“Come again.” Daryl placed his hands-on Alan’s shoulders. “What did you say?”
“Tonya had my son…a few months ago.”
Daryl placed both hands on top of his head. “Good grief, Alan, how did this happen? Does Alison know?”
“No. Not yet. It happened, and I need to come clean with Alison.”
“Didn’t you use protection?”
“At first, but…anyway, you’re the one who told me to hit that.”
“Oh, no, don’t you blame that on me. I gave you a condom to use. Yes, I said hit that, but not make it a fucking habit. What the hell is wrong with you. If anyone know, you should’ve kept that wrapped up dog, you’re a married man. Geez, fuck.”
Alan exhaled. “I know. And I’m sorry for blaming you. I laid in my bed now I have to make it.”
“As a matter of fact, I haven’t heard you talk about Tonya for a while. Has she been around?”
“She moved to Chicago. I seen my son once. He’s beautiful.” He smiled.
“Hmm, that’s when we had a game against the Bears. You disappeared.”
“Yes.” Alan picked up his bag, tossed it on the passenger seat. “I have to do, what I have to do. Tell Alison. This isn’t going to be easy; I’m scared as hell.”
“Sorry about this Alan. In all honesty, you are good guy and I know you love Alison. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth, being that little devil on your shoulder.”
Alan stood tall. “See you later Daryl. I have to be a man and go talk to my wife.”
Alan snuggly pulled his Nike cap down. Staring at the car display unit, he slowly drove away.
***
The house was quiet. Alan peeked into the dark family room. Dropped his bag. Adjusted the dimmer and sat on the sofa. Arms rested on knees; his head cupped in his hands. He sniffled. Then cried out, “Oh, God. I am so sorry.” He glanced around the dim room. Stood with courage. With the back of his strong hands, he wiped his eyes.
Up the staircase he went. Taking two steps at a time. He stopped at the landing. The portraits that appeared to be happy now looked sad. He saw the smiles turned upside down. Adanna, their baby girl, now had her wall space. Beautiful, just like her mother. Wide round brown eyes. A small diamond barrette adorned her big curls. She was Angelic.
He first looked on the sleeping baby. Swaddled in a pink and blue blanket she slept peacefully. Alan finger trailed her temple to cheeks. He kissed her lightly on the forehead. Adanna, gurgled, but kept sleeping.
“Hi Alan.”
He turned quickly. “Baby, you scared me.” His voice low.
“I’ve been awake. Heard you on the baby monitor.” She gave him a kiss.
Alan looked at Alison. He held her arms and fanned them out. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I love you so much.” He pulled her close. “Alison, I’m sorry.”
Alison stepped back. “What’s going on Alan?”
He led her to their bedroom. “Sit down.” He sat next to her.
“Alan, you’re scaring me. What is it?”
“I slept with Tonya and we have a son?” He said it. Just like that.
He held to the area that throbbed. Yes, that was a slap. Alison slapped him. He deserved it.
Chapter 39
Alison
Here, they were, in the midnight hour raised voices. Alison paced the room. Tears flowing. She darted toward Alan for another jab in his face only to be stopped by his stance.
“How could you do this to me? To us? She drew an imaginary circle around them. “Alan, I can’t believe this. My mother was right—”
He reached for. “Baby, please understand I didn’t mean it. I didn’t.”
Her eyes seem to move one at time, while looking him over. “You didn’t mean it. How long has this been going on?”
Alan lowered his head. “Months.”
With an upper-cut, she punched him in the mouth. Alan stumbled.
“Months.” She shook her hand. “You have a son?” The quiver in her voice concluded another round of tears were coming.
“Alison. Please—”
“How old is he!”
“Two months. Almost three.”
“Adanna is one month. Oh, my God, Alan. You were sleeping with both us at the same time.” Her head dropped. “And didn’t use any protection?”
“—I’m sorry. I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean it. I love you and I am here.”
“So, is this why she moved to Chicago? If my math is correct, she was early in her pregnancy. Before the New Year? You two were trying to hide it.”
Alan stepped toward her. She stepped back. “Get the hell out. Get out. Get out.”
“I-I don’t know what you want me to do? What do you mean get out?”
“Alan, I don’t want to look at you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t even want to smell your dirty, lying, cheating ass. Get out of this house.”
“Alison please, I’ll go sleep in another room. I’ll stay out of your way. Baby, we don’t need speculations and gossip. Please, I’m sorry. Can I stay?”
He looked so pitiful. On his knees, tugging at her robe. How pathetic she thought. Now, he’s not so big. She had to admit though, she truly didn’t want him to leave, but she didn’t want him near her or Adanna.
“Get up. You take your things and go the family room—”
“Family room? I can go in the guest room.”
“No. You will stay in the family room. You don’t need comfort. That sofa will be just fine for you. If you don’t like that option, then get a hotel room?” She smoothed out her robe.
***
“I knew it. I told you to watch that girl—”
The early morning hours crept up on Alison. She knew her mom was an early riser and she did need to hear her voice, if was going to be I told you so’s. Alison sat quietly. Gliding in the rocker, she breast-fed Adanna, while her mother’s voice echoed through the speaker phone. She held her baby close. She inhaled the relaxing lavender scent, that lotioned Adanna. She tucked her finger under Adanna’s small hand and let her grip it tightly. She watched her nursing.
“Alison, did you hear what I said.”
“Yes, Mother, I did. You were correct.” She patted the baby’s back.
“What are you going to do about it? If I were you Alan would be out of the house. He doesn’t deserve to be there and what—”
Alison gently removed her breast from Adanna’s still puckered lips. “Mom, stop it. Please. I will take care of this. As for Alan, I love him. I’m not going to throw my marriage away. Alan is a good man.”
“So, you’re just going to let that little wrench get away with what she did and him?”
“Shh.” She whispered in Adanna’s ear. “She’s not going to get away with anything. Alan will get his karma. I’m not going to be revengeful and stark crazy. I don’t need the stress. My sanity and baby are important to me.”
“Alison, I hear you and I love you. I’ll be there next week to help you with the baby. Don’t expect me to be nice to Alan.”
“I love you too Mom. Talk to you later.”
She knew her mom was stubborn, but she would get over it. Alison stood. She looked out to the Koi pond and beautiful landscaping surrounding it. She loved the facets of colors. The sun, at full glow, was emitting warm rays she could feel on the window. She lay the cooing
infant on her shoulder and patted Adanna’s back. Slowly, she circled the room, continuing to pat until she heard a belching sound. Alison, looked at Adanna, making sure there were no puke. Then she heard a light burp from the baby’s pamper. Alison laughed. Kissed her baby and returned to the glide rocker.
Did her mother really think she would let Tonya get away with it? Alison, wasn’t going to let her therapy sessions of improving herself and quality of life go out the window. Her and Alan first have to recover. Only, until then, can she and him together decide how to deal with Tonya and her son.
Chapter 40
Alan
Alan stood at the staircase and looked up. He was happy that he still saw Adanna every day he was home. She was accessible as long as Alison wasn’t feeding, bathing, or bonding with her. Which seem to be all the time. However, he hadn’t shared a bed with his wife in a month. With his away games and banishment to the family room he felt lonely. Being in the same home was taking a toll on him. He only saw Alison a few times, when he made excuses to get personal items from their bedroom. She had made it clear to him to give her space.
When her mother came to visit. Alan, was thrilled he would be there for one day and that was enough. His mother-in-law, made it a point to visit the family room and chat.
He recalled that moment. “Look, Ma—” He stood to greet her.
“I’m going to be nice for my daughter.”
“I apologized to Alison. I sincerely am sorry. I apologize to you as well. I was disrespectful when you were here last year. I am sorry.”
“How long have I known you Alan? A long, long time.”
“Yes, you have.”
“I’m disappointed in you. I have always loved you. My daughter loves you dearly. She always has. I remember she worked at that diner. That was all to impress you and help pay her way to college. She wanted to be with you.”
A smile eased on Alan’s face. “I know she did. I’m going to make this right.”
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