Maybe she should just leave. It would be safer for him.
But if she did, he’d always believe himself a monster.
She couldn’t allow that.
She loved him.
There was no other explanation. Love was the most confusing and elusive of all the emotions, but also the strongest and most enduring.
Since the dawn of time, kingdoms had risen and fallen due to the power of love.
His pain hurt her. She wanted to make him smile, to help him see himself as she did—strong, kind, a defender.
“I want you gone when I get back.” He tossed the blade on the sofa and started toward the door.
Time for drastic measures.
Racing after him, she jumped on him.
He stopped, every muscle tensing.
In hindsight, probably not the smartest move. He was an assassin.
But he made no move against her. He simply stood there with her clinging to his back.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping you from leaving.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Burying her face in his hair, she took a deep breath. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me here alone.”
The sound he made was one of deep pain. “Don’t you see? I’m a danger to you.”
“No, you’re not. You stopped. You did,” she added when he started to object. “Yes, you took more blood than you should have this first time.” Her pounding head and shaky body was testament to that.
“I managed to stop before I killed you. Not exactly a ringing endorsement.” She wished she could see his face, but maybe it was better this way.
“Why did you take so much?”
He huffed out a breath. “I’m a greedy bastard. A monst—”
She slapped her hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it.” His lips moved over her palm. Was he smiling? Hard to tell with his beard tickling her skin.
She released her legs and slid down his body. Keeping one hand on his waist, she moved around until she was standing between him and the door.
“This is important,” she told him.
He dragged both hands through his hair, momentarily tugging on it. “I know it’s important. That’s why I’m leaving.”
“Running,” she corrected. “You’re afraid.”
“Damn right I am.” The heat from his glare could have melted a glacier. “I hurt you.”
And that was the bottom line for him. Well fine, she had her bottom line as well. “You leaving would hurt me more.”
He groaned and lowered his head until their foreheads were touching. “Don’t you see? I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“Why? I haven’t complained, have I? I’m still alive, still standing.”
“But you might not have been,” he yelled.
Standing toe to toe, she put her hands on her hips. “But I am.”
“Woman, I could have killed you.”
“Woman? Woman? I’m not some woman.” She drilled her finger against his chest. God, punching through pure steel would be easier. “I’m the one who loves you.” She hadn’t intended to shout it, but it was too late. It was out there now. There was no taking it back.
He jerked away, startled. “You can’t love me.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I can and can’t feel.” A sharp pain pierced her heart. This must be heartbreak. She wasn’t a fan. “And as much as you don’t seem to want my love, I won’t take it back.” She couldn’t. It was too real, too beautiful to deny, even if it felt like it was ripping her in two.
“I don’t want you to take it back,” he roared.
“You don’t?” Now she was confused.
“No! I love you. That’s why I’m trying to leave.”
Now she was totally confused. “If you love me, why would you leave?”
Deadly serious, he cupped her face in his hands. “I want to keep you safe, no matter the cost. I hurt you, baby.” He shook his head when she started to speak. “I never meant to.” He caressed the side of her neck, rubbing his thumb over the spot where he’d bitten her. The wound throbbed. Not in a bad way. More of an ache. “I never meant to,” he repeated softly.
“It’s because you love me.” It all made sense to her now. His emotions had been running too high for him to maintain control.
“Baby, hurting someone isn’t love.”
She wasn’t sure if she liked this new nickname. Baby. She tried it out in her mind. She’d heard other men use it when referring to their wives or girlfriends. Maybe she did like it after all, even though she’d never been a baby. Or had she? Of course not—her kind were created, not born.
“Because you love me, you lost control,” she explained. “Now that we know, we can take measures to keep it from happening again.” Seemed easy enough to her.
“Cassie, you’re more human than reaper now. What happens if you fully become one?”
That wasn’t something she’d really thought about. “Would you love me less?” Maybe if she wasn’t special, he wouldn’t want her.
He groaned and yanked her into his arms. Finally, she was where she wanted to be. She kissed his taut, warm skin and nuzzled his chest hair. “It’s not possible for me to stop loving you. You’re mine. No matter what.”
“Do you really mean that?” She held her breath, her stomach in knots.
“Yeah, I do.” He grazed his lips over hers. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m as much to blame as you are.”
“No, it’s all on me. I’ve suppressed my vampire half rather than learn about it.” Their noses rubbed together before he brushed his mouth over hers again.
“You can learn now. I’ll help you. I understand what it does to you to deny a part of yourself.” Even if you didn’t want it anymore, it hurt like hell, because it was a part of you.
“No one else in the world probably gets me as well as you do.”
Acceptance was like a beautiful blanket settling over her. “Then we’re together. Whatever happens, we face it.”
“What did I ever do to deserve you? I didn’t mean it,” he told her.
“Didn’t mean what?” That he loved her? The ache in her stomach started again.
“That I was sorry I saw the contract.” He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. “It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me because it led me to you. But,” he continued before she could get too excited, “promise me that if I ever get out of control again, you’ll end me. Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself.”
Love for him filled her. She went up on her toes, dragged his head down, and kissed him with every ounce of emotion bubbling up inside her.
She wanted to laugh and cry. Love wasn’t for sissies. It was hard and beautiful. And speaking of hard, his cock was pressed against her stomach. And he was conveniently naked.
“We should celebrate.”
His lips twitched. “Should we now?”
“Oh yeah.” Coming together, joining their bodies and hearts would go a long way toward healing them both. Not to mention the endorphins that would be released.
Someone cleared their throat and then a familiar male voice spoke. “You should stop before this becomes even more awkward.”
Terror bled into her bones, turning her blood to ice. Death had arrived.
Chapter Eighteen
Alexei whirled around to face the intruder, being sure to keep Cassie behind him. She loved him. In spite of what he was and what he’d done, she loved him.
No one would keep her away from him.
The intruder was tall, well over seven feet. He was dressed all in black—jeans, boots, T-shirt, and a long urban leather duster. He had a half smile on his face, but his eyes were anything but amused. Jet black, they seemed to hold all the secrets of the universe.
He also smelled like… Alexei sniffed the air. Flowers. He smelled like flowers. Totally at odds with his badass appearance. It was similar to the perfume that always seemed to linger around Cassie.
Whoever this guy was, he was far more dangerous than anyone who’d come after them so far. A sinking sensation gripped his stomach. He had a bad feeling he knew who this was.
“Hello, Death.” Cassie stepped forward, shoulders back, head unbowed.
Death was standing in his living room. He could honestly say it wasn’t something he’d ever imagined. Didn’t even hit his top million list of things he might encounter in his immortal existence.
The sickle was within reach, but could it even hurt him? Killing him would upset the balance of the universe. And that’s assuming Death could even be destroyed. But he couldn’t allow the mystical being to harm his woman.
She’s my heart.
He threw his arm around her and hauled her up against his side, not willing to let her move away from him. He was sending a clear message that she was no longer alone.
When Death raised an eyebrow, he knew his message had been received.
“You’ve been busy.” He flashed into the sitting area and threw himself down into Alexei’s favorite chair. Making himself at home, he stretched his long legs out in front of him, rested his elbows on the arms of the chair, and steepled his fingers in front of him. “Have a seat.” An order, not an invitation.
The arrogant bastard was acting like he owned the place. He wasn’t worried at all about the weapon, either. He could have easily nabbed the sickle before taking a seat.
Scrap that idea.
Cassie went forward with him plastered to her side. He wasn’t leaving her for one second. Nor was he staying unarmed. Maybe it was a bluff, maybe not. He lunged and snatched up the blade, but he didn’t keep it. He placed it in Cassie’s hand, closing her fingers around the handle.
“Protective of you, isn’t he?”
“Name is Alexei.”
“Yes, I know.” Great, now he seemed amused. Knocking that smirk off his face was Alexei’s new goal in life.
The only other person he’d met in his lifetime who’d emitted the same dangerous vibe had been Maccus. But this guy was in a league of his own. He could literally kill whoever he wanted.
Best to keep him talking.
“Do you want to put some clothes on?” he asked, his tone conversational.
“Not really.” Getting dressed would mean leaving Cassie alone with him. “I’m fine the way I am.” Nudity didn’t really bother him.
Death rolled his eyes. “Cassie, go and get the man a pair of jeans.” When she hesitated, he softly added, “If I desired him to be eliminated, he would no longer be here.”
That was certainly blunt enough. She shot Alexei a worried look before hurrying from the room. The two men spent the short time she was gone staring at each other. She quickly returned with a pair of jeans, which he yanked on. So maybe he did feel better not having all his business hanging out in the wind.
“Now that we’ve dealt with that small issue,” Death began when they were seated.
“It’s not Alexei’s fault,” she blurted.
“What isn’t?” He crossed his ankles, looking completely relaxed and at home.
“Anything.” She scooted to one side, putting a few inches between them. Alexei followed, ignoring her when she frowned at him.
“He didn’t ash the creature? That was an unscheduled reaping.”
When Cassie remained silent, Alexei spoke up. “It’s on the one who involved me in this. He was the one who drew me, and Damian, to her.”
“Hmm… I was just made aware of that.” He wasn’t pleased either if his frown was any indication. Alexei almost pitied Egan and Felicia. Almost. As far as he was concerned, they deserved whatever they got.
“That’s on me,” she told her boss. “I had no idea Egan was jealous. I didn’t see it. Didn’t even know such a thing was possible.”
“Ambition is a cold emotion,” Death pointed out. “And reapers are nothing if not cold.”
“So it would seem.” She set the weapon on the coffee table and twined her fingers together before continuing. “What now?”
“That’s the question of the hour, isn’t it?” He sighed, and for the first time, Alexei detected a chink in his emotional armor. He seemed…tired. No, that wasn’t quite right. Maybe conflicted.
“If you go unpunished, I run the risk of having reapers walk off the job right and left. That would lead to wholesale chaos, souls left untended, spirits wandering lost in the in-between, and that’s if they even continued to die on schedule.”
He pinned them both with his dark gaze. “That cannot happen. Even I may not be able to deal with the fallout from such an event.”
Her face was chalky, her lips almost bloodless. How much of that was due to fear and how much was because of the blood he’d taken from her?
“How did you find me?” she asked.
Shaking his head, he made a tsking sound. “Cassandra, there wasn’t a moment in time when I didn’t know exactly where you were. I am Death.”
Alexei sat up straighter, his thoughts scrambling. He should have come to that conclusion himself. Death was powerful and she’d been created by him. In the same way a vampire would always be able to find any “children” they made, so Death would have been able to track her.
“Why the subterfuge?” he demanded. Which in hindsight wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done, but he was pissed on her behalf. “Why allow the others to track her, possibly harm her?”
Death stirred, and the rock walls seemed to quiver. “That should never have occurred.” The light was almost sucked out of the room. “She was never in any true danger.”
Now he was lost. “But haven’t you come to end her? That’s what I was hired to do.”
“And if you’d attempted it, you’d be dead.”
She slowly came to her feet. “You’ve known where I’ve been the whole time? Of course you have,” she muttered. “I’m so stupid.” She dragged her fingers through her short cap of black hair. “All this time, I thought I was free, but I’ve never been free. Never will be.”
“Cassandra—” he began, but she cut him off.
“I can’t do it anymore.” Alexei hated that she seemed defeated. This was not the woman he’d come to know with her enthusiasm for life, her raw courage. “I can’t.” She turned to him. “Thank you for giving me the happiest moments of my life.”
That sounded too much like goodbye to him. He slowly stood beside her and stroked his hand down her face. “You’re mine.” He’d repeat it as many times as necessary until she finally believed him. “Wherever you go, I go. Whatever happens to you happens to me.” The last was said to Death.
He wouldn’t be parted from Cassie. Not now. Not ever. He would be by her side all the way.
“Alexei, you can’t.” When she tried to move away, he grasped the back of her neck and pulled her forward.
“Just try and get rid of me, baby.” He leaned down to seal the pact. Their lips were almost touching when their uninvited guest spoke.
“This is all very moving, but irrelevant. If I want to separate you, I can just take her with me.”
“Just try it,” he repeated. Probably not smart to issue such a challenge, but he would allow nothing to tear her away from him. No way was he backing down.
She put herself in front of him, her back to Death. “Don’t,” she cautioned. “I love you,” she told him. His chest expanded and ached with love for her in return. “I need you to be safe.”
Pride and fear warred inside him.
I can’t fucking lose her.
…
Cassandra spun around and faced Death. Her hands were clammy. She wished she was fully dressed and not clad only in a flannel shirt. It put he
r at a huge disadvantage. Still, it was one of Alexei’s shirts, so it was almost as good as being enfolded in his arms. She drew courage from that. “Whatever you want to do to me, I accept. I left my job. But I honestly couldn’t do it any longer.” How could she explain so he’d understand?
“One more soul and something inside me would have broken.” She placed her hand over her heart. “I know we aren’t supposed to have feelings toward those we guide. I know it’s all for the greater good, but I’d honestly rather for it all to be over than to have to take one more. How many have I reaped? Billions?”
Alexei rested his hands on her rigid shoulders, silently offering his support. Her assassin, one of the so-called Forgotten, considered a monster by most, was her rock.
“I’ll let you live if you reap his soul.” There was no pity in Death, no give. She swallowed hard. What had she expected? Sympathy? Understanding?
Death was cold and unfeeling. Impartial. Had to be in order to do the job. And he’d created reapers in his image.
Then why was she in such pain?
“You can’t do this,” Alexei protested.
“Silence. I can do whatever I please. It’s her life or yours. Choose.” The final word landed with the finality of a hammer on an anvil.
Cassie faced the man she’d walked alongside since the dawn of time. Then she looked at the man she loved. He was expecting her to do it. She could see it in his eyes. After all, his family had turned their backs on him, betrayed him. Why wouldn’t she?
She hated Death. Even though it made no sense to do so. He was simply being true to his own nature. A price had to be paid for her defection.
That he was giving her a choice was unprecedented.
“It’s okay.” Alexei ran his huge hand over the crown of her head and then down to her cheek. “It’s okay, baby. I want you to live. I’ve already survived past my time.”
Oh, God. What was he doing? Tears rolled unashamedly down her cheeks. He was offering his life to save her. It was the most selfless thing she’d ever witnessed.
“Embrace who you are,” Death commanded.
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