by Betty Bolte
Chapter 19
Jingo covered the rough road with easy grace, his hooves falling in a steady three-beat rhythm. Nathaniel had not been able to escape the print shop in more than a week. Desperate to see Evelyn, he pressed his horse into a gallop at the bend in the road turning toward her property.
The first time he'd approached the estate at the edge of the woods, the house seemed to loom over the surrounding landscape. He'd been part of the foraging detail searching for anything the troops could eat, to keep them alive and able to fight. He hadn't expected to find much, given the frequent raids of the homes and plantations by both sides in the bloody war. At that time, he'd been surprised to discover the young woman, clearly with child, and her overbearing husband. The man hadn't even tried to protect his property, merely stood by glowering as Nathaniel and several other soldiers ransacked his home. Of course, Nathaniel had told him not to resist, but to not even protest made him appear as a coward. Nathaniel had been pressed into foraging among the civilian homes out of sheer desperation. The war would not be lost for want of sustenance. His mission had been vital to achieving the peace they all now enjoyed.
He slowed and then turned Jingo up the lane toward the estate. Three white tents gleamed in the sunlight, nestled under a cluster of maples a short distance from the barn. The statue of the winged horse drew his attention to the new framed building on its stone foundation. A kiln had been built to one side of the work site and two men labored on making bricks from clay dug from along the river bank. Several others worked on raising the rest of the building, dragging planks from the lumber piled nearby. Stacks of finished brick waited to be added to the exterior of the structure. The brothers had said they'd accomplish the reconstruction as rapidly as humanly possible, but they'd done more than he'd thought they could even since his last visit. They had much more to do, of course, but before long the house would be fully enclosed against the weather, if not entirely finished.
Evelyn would move in and settle down to enjoy her new abode. Surrounded by her slaves and servants. Enjoy visits from friends and family, but she'd be on her own in reality. Alone among people forced to wait on her. What kind of life would that be?
One he'd never endure.
In fact, with each passing week, he wished he'd never made the promise to stay six months. He'd stayed four but the remaining two seemed as though they'd never end. His heart urged him to seek a place of his own where he could choose how to make his own fortune. Not be at any person's beck and call in order to earn a living.
Why hadn't he found a way to break his oath and move on? One simple reason: Evelyn.
He slowed Jingo to a trot, the dogs greeting him with their usual vociferous barking. The door to the carriage house swung open, and Evelyn stepped into the dappled sunshine, a smile in her eyes and on her lips. Lips he hadn't tasted in too long. She hurried toward him, her long skirts caught up in her hands, as he dropped to the ground and strode to meet her halfway across the barnyard. Jingo trailed behind him, bumping his nose into Nathaniel's shoulder when he stopped abruptly. Catching his balance, he tossed a reproving glance at his horse, before clasping Evelyn's hands in his and drawing her close enough to kiss her. A quick survey of the area revealed they were alone. For a moment or two, at least. Time for a quick kiss. He dipped his head to make good on his idea.
The taste of her—sweet and spicy and warm—soothed the agitation in his chest. He'd been away too long, separated from her and the affection they shared. He folded her into his arms, hugging her tight, with his chin resting on the top of her hair. "I've missed you, my sweet."
"You've been remiss in not visiting as you'd said you would." She pulled away from his chest to lift her damp eyes to meet his.
He touched a finger to the corner of one eye, a drop sliding on the tip. He looked at the tear as though he'd never seen one before. "Why are you crying?"
She smiled and shook her head. "I'm simply pleased to see you. It's been a long while between visits."
The dogs milled around the couple, and Nathaniel realized they now had an audience. Ethan and Bill stood by the barn door, work aprons hung with hammers, pliers, screwdrivers, and smoothing files. Ethan's frown did not bode well, his jealousy evident in his expression. Luke strode up from behind the house where he'd apparently been working. Peggy dried her hands on a towel while standing in the open door to the carriage house.
He peered at Evelyn as he reluctantly released her hands and stepped back. He could no longer keep his intention to leave to himself. Her expression showed him how attached she was becoming. "I'll meet you inside. We need to talk."
She raised her brows, eyes widening. "About what, pray tell?"
"Give me a minute to tend to Jingo, and then you'll know." He needed a couple minutes to soothe the chaos reverberating in his chest. To sort his arguments. She must go with him. To leave her behind just might kill him.
"Very well." She kissed him, lingering for the time it took for her heart to beat twice. "I'll wait with a fresh pot of tea, but not patiently."
He chuckled as he led Jingo to the barn, past the glowering countenance of Ethan, and inside where several horses stood munching in individual stalls. The horses nickered at him and Jingo as they stepped into the aisle. The interior of the structure had also undergone a kind of transformation in his absence. The sweet aroma of hay replaced the musty smell of dirty straw. New boards had been added to the stall walls, the lighter wood a stark contrast to the darkly stained older ones. Bits of dust and hay floated in the shafts of sunlight falling through the open windows onto the freshly raked dirt floor. With a sense of regret for disturbing the pretty scene, he led Jingo into an empty stall near the front of the building.
He planned to stay over, sleeping in the hay loft as he'd done on his other visits. No more tempting the fates by allowing himself the luxury of sleeping beside Evelyn. Holding her, feeling and hearing her heart beat, smelling her sweet essence. The thought of their first night together continued to stir a reaction entirely inappropriate to their situation. Perhaps if they became betrothed he'd end his personal vow to refrain from lying with his woman. But not until he'd proven himself worthy of her love.
Stepping to Jingo's side, he tugged the girth loose. A swallow streaked through the barn, flitting in and out of the sunlight on its way from one door to the other. Everything about the place welcomed him, whispering enticements for him to stay and settle. While a small part of him longed to follow the siren's call, the greater part pushed at him to move on. To remove himself from the known to explore the unknowns tempting him. He needed to satisfy the wanderlust clawing at his gut before he could build not merely a house, but a home.
He flung the girth strap over the saddle seat and lifted saddle off the horse's back. He carried it to the tack room, his thoughts spinning nearly as much as his emotions. If only she would say yes when he asked her to journey with him, to merge their lives into a single unit. Eventually, if he proved himself suitable in her esteem, to marry him. He couldn't and wouldn't ask for her hand until he had established himself so he could support a wife and children. He didn't want to tie any one to his future until he had some idea of what it held. But would she go with him if they weren't married? Dare he even ask?
He returned to the stall, and rubbed the roan's inquiring nose. "You'll go with me, that's for certain."
Jingo bobbed his head, and Nathaniel laughed. He patted his mount's neck and then started removing the bridle. On a sigh, he loosened the cheek strap. Jingo shook his head to ward off a fly, the leather flapping into Nathaniel's face. Nathaniel smacked the horse's neck to communicate his displeasure with his actions and then rubbed his own cheek to quiet the sting. "Stand still, Jingo. It's just a fly."
The horse, uncaring of his chastisement, tossed his head again, but this time Nathaniel stepped back, clear of the swinging strap. He quickly removed the bridle and hung it on a hook by the stall door until he finished rubbing down his mount. He grabbed a brush and ran it ov
er the horse's neck and coat, then down each leg. The mindless activity freed his thoughts, permitting them to form a whirling tumult in his brain.
Evelyn's new house neared completion, ready for her, Jim, and her servants to occupy. She'd settle in, set up housekeeping and a daily routine. Comfortable. Safe. Secure. Confining. Deadening.
The concerns raised earlier in conversation with his friends drifted through his mind. Each had a valid point for him to ponder. She'd give up the very aspects of life she enjoyed most in her current situation. He tried to view the trip through Evelyn's eyes, to consider what reservations she'd hold. He found many, likely too many for her to wish to make the journey with him.
The rhythmic thud of boots on dirt warned him of a man approaching. He glanced at the wide opening of the barn. Ethan strode toward him, a smirk on his lips and trouble in his eyes. Nathaniel continued cleaning his horse, his grip tightening on the innocent brush.
"What's this I hear about your imminent departure?" Ethan rested his brawny arms on the top of the stall wall, glaring and frowning at Nathaniel.
Pausing in swiping the bristles over Jingo's rump, Nathaniel considered his retort. "Why is it any of your concern?"
"In a word, Evelyn. You're wooing her, yet you plan to leave." Pointing a finger at him, Ethan jabbed at him in rhythm to his words. "I won't permit you to break her heart."
Nathaniel resumed brushing the horse, his thoughts a jumble even as anger simmered in his chest. But anger aimed at whom? Ethan or himself? "Again, I do not believe it's any of your business what I do."
Ethan pushed away from the wood wall to step inside the stall. Nathaniel turned to face him and, though tall himself, had to look up to meet his eyes. Standing this close to the man proved intimidating indeed. But he'd never backed down from a fight in his life and he wouldn't start at this juncture. Still, discretion could prove to be the better aspect of valor.
Poking the tip of one index finger into Nathaniel's chest, Ethan held Nathaniel's attention as he spoke. "She's my cousin, my family. I have more right to protect her than you because you are nothing more than an outsider trying to hurt my family with your deceptions and false promises."
"I do not want to hurt her, nor break her heart." He had to admit the truth behind Ethan's lecture. His indecision most certainly could result in his inadvertently causing his love unnecessary grief. He loved her too much to hold onto her under the pretenses he'd remain with her. He sighed, letting the breath out over several beats of his own breaking heart. "I will make a point of staying away from her from here on. Will that suffice?"
Surprise flared in Ethan's eyes as he nodded. "Starting this moment. You may as well mount your horse and ride out of here. Delaying will only make it worse."
"Nay, she's waiting for me to come talk to her." Nathaniel shook his head and applied the brush to Jingo's side. "I'll think of something to tell her, to explain."
"I don't like that you're hanging around her, like a dog after a bone." Ethan crossed his arms, creating a formidable barrier between Nathaniel and the open stall door. "You're not to wait upon her after this day. Do I make myself clear?"
Moving to brush the other side, Nathaniel managed to put some distance between himself and the belligerent man. He caught his eye and held it for a moment before focusing on the task at hand. "I believe Lyn may have a say in the matter, but I vow to do all in my power to guard her feelings. I can do nothing more."
"If you do, you'll answer to me." Ethan spun on his heel and marched out of the stall, pausing with a hand resting on the half door. "I promise you'll never forget it if I have to make good on my warning."
Slapping the wood with his massive hand, Ethan strode out of the barn without a backward glance. Nathaniel sighed and returned to his work, well aware of the terrible choice he faced between expressing his love for Evelyn and walking away for her own good.
Straightening from brushing the last fetlock, Nathaniel tossed the brush into the bucket outside the stall reserved for the purpose. Then he turned back to stroke Jingo's neck as his thoughts finally settled into the depressing realization he couldn't ask the woman he loved to give up her home to follow him on a dangerous adventure into the unknown frontier lands. He didn't know how he'd survive without her, but he'd try. For her sake, not for his.
His next steps remained clear. He'd talk to Evelyn about her plans, her future, while he planned his own. To save her the worry and anguish, he'd keep his intent to himself until closer to when he would leave to travel west, inland, away from the ocean and from her. After he left, nursing an anticipated broken heart, she would have her family to console her. He loved her too much to force her to sacrifice every person she cared for in exchange for him. In the meanspace, he'd enjoy each moment he managed to spend in her company, knowing soon he would never see her again.
Chapter 20
Evelyn's decision to have Peggy bake buns earlier in the day had proven fortunate. While she held a tradition of making hot cross buns for Good Friday, the notion had popped into her mind to indulge the whim. Along with the steaming cups of chamomile tea they served to satisfy their hunger. Her newly assembled family sat in the modified carriage house, chatting and poking fun at each other. Little Jim had fallen asleep on the folded quilt beside her chair. Arrayed before her sat Jemma and Peggy, with Nathaniel to her right. Everyone had expressed delight at the unusual treat.
"Remember to hang one of the buns in your new kitchen." Peggy bit into the warm bread with a cross made with strips of unleavened pastry dough.
Evelyn shrugged as she tilted her head to one side. "Why would we do such a silly thing?"
Peggy leaned forward, a conspiratorial grin lighting her eyes. "Some believe hanging a hot cross bun in your kitchen prevents fires and ensures all the other loaves of bread bake properly."
Nathaniel laughed as he crossed his ankles, relaxing against the chair back. "Sounds like superstition to me."
"Aye." Peggy cackled and rose to her feet to stir the cook fire. "It is a bit of whimsy indeed. But none of the kitchens in our town in Ireland ever had a fire they didn't want."
"I'd say that's merely a coincidence." Nathaniel selected another bun and waved it in the air to punctuate his observation. "My parents' home never had a kitchen catch fire either and they didn't adhere to such nonsense."
Jemma started the rocking chair in motion, her gaze flitting from one person to another. "Will you make them for Easter as well? Seein' as how you made 'em today."
"I believe so since it's not until the twentieth of next month." Evelyn picked up a bit of sewing she'd started and planned to display in her new house. "I'll make enough to share with everyone as part of the day's celebration."
"Between us, we can turn out a fair number." Peggy nodded as she resumed her seat.
Sipping her tea, Evelyn glanced up to find Nathaniel's gaze resting upon her. His guarded expression started a worm of unease inching through her veins. She set her cup and saucer on the side table. "What did you wish to speak to me about?"
He waved off her question and then pressed his palms to his knees. "Nothing of any consequence."
"Come now, you've held me in suspense for hours." She smiled encouragement as he blinked slowly several times. "Tell me what's on your mind."
He cleared his throat and flicked his gaze to Peggy before addressing Evelyn. "I wondered about your, um, intent as to your school's curriculum." He nodded to himself. "Yes, that's it."
His hesitant answer only served to make her more curious as to the true question he had meant to ask but lost the nerve to submit to her. His fondness seemed to increase each time they met. Maybe he wanted to elevate the level of their relationship, an event which she'd at one time dismissed but no longer. She'd consider his question when he broached the subject.
"I've decided on an appropriate number of proper subjects for young ladies to learn." She lifted her tea and sipped. "You needn't worry about such triviality."
"But—" His comment died
as the door swung open.
Ethan filled the open space for a second before stepping inside and closing the door with a bang. "May I join you?"
Evelyn smiled and nodded to gather her thoughts, surprised by his unexpected presence. "We've a drop of tea and some buns left you may share with us."
Ethan picked up a chair from the corner and set it down on Evelyn's left side. Evelyn poured while Peggy handed the man a small plate. He picked up a bun with his large hands and bit it in half. His jaw worked in the most intriguing way to masticate the soft bread, leaving her enthralled by the powerful muscles moving along his throat when he swallowed. She'd never investigated her cousin as anything more than a relative. Yet at the moment she had become entirely aware of him as a man. With broad shoulders and massive muscles on his arms. His trousers stretched over thighs the size of her waist. He'd make some lady a fine life companion.
Nathaniel cleared his throat again, drawing her attention. "I'll need to leave for town before much longer, unless you prefer for me to stay."
She glanced out the window to see the sunlight dimming beyond. "It's growing close to dusk. Mayhap you should remain the night and ride in the morning."
A grin stretched his mouth. "As you wish."
"I believe you have time to make the trip to your home this evening." Ethan smacked a hand onto his thigh. He focused his gaze on Nathaniel. "If you depart immediately."
"Do not listen to him, Nathaniel." Evelyn shooed Ethan into silence with a flick of her left hand. "The matter is settled. You may sleep in here or in the barn with Jingo. Your choice."
Ethan muttered an oath as he retrieved another bun. Taking a bite, he glared at Nathaniel. Evelyn sensed the tension stretching between the two men as they took each other's measure. She needed to find a way to diffuse the animosity apparent in their demeanor.
Peggy solved the matter with a quick movement. She rose to her feet, breaking the silence by snapping her fingers. "There's still work to be done before night falls. So up and out with you both. Make use of the time to good advantage."